All Comments on 'Family Secrets'

I enjoyed your first story, I hope it’s the first of many

"Thanks, kid. Love you, too."

- This had me cracking up. Well done! Thoroughly enjoyed your story, and I hope you keep writing.

Excellent for first time. Keep at it. 5 stars

This is your first story, so it probably didn't occur to you to say she had a freshly shaved pussy, instead of your statement, "She had shaved her pubic area smooth and in the low light of the bedside lamp, I could see how aroused she was. Her labia were full and there was moisture beaded up around them. I could see her clit starting to peek out from under its hood. If it is not a freshly shaved pussy, it's a ridiculous, pointless, hairless, and sickening pimple covered mound having stubble and pus oozing pimples from infected hairs along with peeling razor burnt skin from the last "foolish and again pointless" shave. I gave you a 3 rating. You need to either loose the shaved pussy nonsense in your future stories and describe the lady fur, (Clits can come out from under their hoods and protrude bushes) and thick pussy hair can become saturated / sopping wet to indicate arousal. Your writing skills are descent. The plot works. But forget the 1980's swimsuit shaved pussy nonsense, that foolish ignorance also left in the 80's. Go to tags and read about hairy pussy stories. you will quickly discover ratings in the 4-5 range.

Fantastic story. Thanks

like all harem stories, too long, boring, and extremely repetitive. Nothing of the normal I/T heats exists, when everybody knows, and everybody is in the game. Might as well just call it a toga party and move on, not caring who the players are, or what their supposed relationship to each other might be. Yawn.

Forget the anonymous comments, if they are to shallow to even give their names then that says it all. You mentioned at the beginning what the story entailed and yet they feel they have the right to denigrate it for what you warned them to expect. An excellent story, well written and hot. 5 stars.

Congrats, a really well written and erotic story. I loved the continuance of the family theme, including mum and dad's voyeuristic kink.

Keep at it !

Well, you should be encouraged to write more. It started off very well, but for me all the interest disappeared after Mel and Jamie were born, only because the pace went up too many gears. We'd got to know Mitchell and Tammy, so their relationship was interesting and I was rooting for them. But no sooner were the girls born before they were grown up. As a result they were strangers to me, I couldn't tell one from the other, I didn't know them, so I couldn't care less about them. I believe the secret might be that less is more. By that I mean, bringing in so many developments in the second half diluted the eroticism instead of increasing it. Might have been better to make it a shorter chapter and end it at 2-5 to 3 pages, then develop a second story about Mel and Jamie growing up that fits with the fact that they end up having an incestuous lesbian relationship. But that needed thought and inspiration and for that you'd need a break from writing to do the thinking. Well, that's my two pennyworth; hope it's some help.

Enjoyed the story keep it up

Forget the Anonymous luddites, this is a hot story among loving family members. The criticisms are unwarranted and nonsensical. Look forward to more from you!

Nice story bro may i meet your story in the future am out also accept the criticism it helps shapes you

Great story please keep writing. I would love to read more of your work!

Pretty good start to an erotica journey. While I am not as interested in the “acceptance” and “children” aspects of the story, you do a good job of detailing the erotic scenes. “Accepting” the incest removes the taboo for me, which reduces the eroticism. However, these niggling issues do not detract from your desire to write a story that people enjoy, and as you author more works, your style will refine and get better. I encourage you to seek out an editor to remove the spelling and grammar issues (although these issues did not detract from the story like happens so many times on Literotica. As a first effort, I give you four stars and look forward to more from you. I want to also point out that Anonymous commenters complaining about your descriptions when using “descent” instead of “decent” have zero merit and should be ignored.

A fantastic story. Please keep up the good writing.

Good first story just a shame you killed the grandparents of at the end could have had a fantastic multi generation orgy in part 2

Just wish there was a video to go with this story

Great story. Please keep writing/

Outstanding for a first submission and well edited, too.

Early comments in the story had me thinking that Mom and Dad were swingers, was surprised it didn't show up until the end, but rest of story had some surprises that kept my attention to the end.

Keep writing FD25, please.

I came here looking for a mother-daughter story and found something much richer and more compelling. This is a rich, complex, and unusual story that takes some unexpected turns. I really liked it and, like the previous poster, I too think that it is exceptionally good for a first submission. You take the time to develop characters, you hint at alternative story lines (the parents' history of swinging) without beating them to death, and you give us some extremely hot sex scenes but keep a story going to keep us hooked. I liked the long time line and the intergenerational element. I thought that those kept the story building and held our interest. Very well done.

Someone had some negative comments about shaved pussy. That's a tired old battle, and I'll just say that although I'm a full bush guy, I didn't find it off-putting at all. When a story is as well-written as this one, with characters that are as attractive as Mitch and Tammy, then those matters of personal preference really recede into the background.

I'm looking forward to more from you.

Completely out of control, and completely enjoyable. Five stars for sure.

You write good stories worth reading

Love it. a fantastic story of true love and great sex. Making beautiful babies is always a hit with me. Well done.

Is the "grandson" yours

Now that was one great story. Kept my interest ALL the way through. Just awesome.

Love this!

Too convoluted and the people were all just names with a list of sex scenes being skimmed through to define progress in the interactions. There was no reason to care about any of this either way.

Liked it a lot but not into lesbian sex (tried it and didn't like it). Would have loved longer sex scenes and more impregnation kink.

Wow will now read everything else of yours Trust you know how to replocate the buzz you get from writing and thank you for sharing your art in telling a tale Please ignore all critics who have so much time on their hands to winge on about minor imperfections KrBillT

Damn HOT story...Loved it! Keeping it All-in-the-Family. I will now continue to follow all of your stories.

Starting from the top of your story list, and this being the third story, it's rather obvious that I've read 3 of your stories to date. One thing I really like about your writing is the fact that they're character driven and not just a bunch of sex scenes with a paper mill semi-porn plot thrown in around them like a lot of other writers do. I truly hope the rest of your stories follow suit. The only thing I found wrong with this one was that it was very predictable. 4/5

Good story and lots of well deserved comments. I am surprised at the lack of criticism over including the daughters. I was a little nonplussed at that turn of events but you pulled it off. Well done indeed.

You keep writing and I'll keep reading sounds like win win to me!

Cheers

SAGE