All Comments on 'Fantasia Concordat Ch. 02'

really good writing, interesting lead character. sex scenes are fine, but I could always use more...

Love the story so far. I really like the main character and the book. The. Sex sencens great as they are. I think story's should be about the story.

More^10000000

More

Really liking the story so far. Keep it up

Another pleasant chapter to read, albeit a few grammatical errors and typos here and there, not bad at all. About the frequency/length/vividness of the sex scenes: don't worry. Most of us could navigate to a 'boy meets critter and they screw' story pretty easily. Others read the stories for the interesting flavor erotica brings to a good tale, with the actual plot and progression enthralling us to screen after screen of work. Continue with the quality here and you'll do fine.

Enjoying SciFantasy Pseudo-Science - Galloglaich

Please take a few moments to edit your stories.

Great stuff. You try to make your story adhere more to our reality instead of constructing a whole new world, emphasizing the many interactions and differences between our reality and Jack's new understanding, thereby giving the story an added aura of verisimilitude. Classy, interesting, seemingly simple, yet very hard to accomplish. Kudos.

After having read Chapter 2, my only fantasy suggestion would be to ask, "How would Dahlia react to a cheeseburger and fries?"

This one has great potential to become a good story. Keep it up.

You got a great voice for writing