All Comments on 'Fatal Industrial Accident'

Excellent story. This has the potential to go further as it would make a great series

However, it seems as though you could very easily continue this piece and I hope you will seriously consider it. There are a lot of unanswered questions that seem to need answers. For example what happened to the accused worker? What happens with the relationship between Amanda and the President? Is their relationship short lived or does it develop into something much deeper and lasting? Is the President married or does he have a significant other, does Amanda? Does Amanda advance in her position because of her calm, efficient actions?

Thank you for taking the time and effort to create this piece from the draft, to final submission as well as all related work with your editor of choice. I thoroughly enjoyed this piece and look forward to other work you submit here.

Take Care!

This made a good first chapter, please continue it...

This was a good story, or a good start, but it left me a bit flat. We were told everything about the characters, not shown much, and so I never really got the attraction between the two. I also have to say that between the title and the tagline, I expected a bit more remorse, or shock, or something from Daniel. He didn't seem very broken up about anything. I would have liked more interaction between Amanda and Daniel, to see things build between them.

Again, characterization needs more definition. Very well written, strong technicals (I didn't bother quibbling as there was so little raw material for quibbles), but I need to know more about Daniel.

Never thought I'd see "Fatal Industrial Accident" as an erotic story.

And yes folks, don't text and drive.