Fatherly Love

"A toast?"

"No, a confession. Drink up, buddy."

On the third glass, I'm brave enough.

"Simon, I have something to confess, which can make you kick me out of your house right now. And that's alright if you do."

He finishes his glass and eyes me very seriously, motioning me to go on.

"I did something with Jimmy."

Simon's mouth opens, and I can see his muscles tense.

"I couldn't help it. It was only once."

"What did you do with my son, Luke?" Simon enunciated the words in a very clear manner, each word having its own space and time for existence. Anger is underneath each letter.

"He was telling me how he saw me sucking you, you know? All naked, and saying shit like I won't let you have my dad, and shit like that, and he grabs my cock, you know?"

"How does he grab your cock?"

"Well, I was naked."

"Fucking hell." His fingers weave in his hair as he breathes in and out at a slow pace. "What else?"

"I blew him, just like I did to you."

"You're a fucking whore!" Simon shouts at me. "My own son? Who gives you the right Luke?"

I know he has all the right to be angry.

"Listen, Luke, I let you sleep in my house, under my roof. I thought Jimmy was safe with you. One thing is for us to fuck, but... Jimmy is not for your hands, you understand?"

"I do. I should have told you straight away."

"You should have kept it in your pants, Luke."

I sleep on the couch tonight. Simon doesn't ask me to leave, but I don't shake the idea from my head, and already been looking for rooms to rent. As I'm getting ready for the interview, getting all suit up, both Simon and Jimmy come around to wish me good luck. A tight hug between the three leads me to believe there's still hope, but now there's only companionship between us.

It takes hours. Hours on end for that fucking interview. I'm more than used to it by now, but still, it's a long marathon of questions and checks and triple-checks. They say they'll call me by the end of the day to see if I'm successful or not. No matter what I do, I can't shake away the anxiety building up in me.

Brian is at the back of my mind, but I decide to ignore the urge. Simon fucked him and only got more and more guilty for doing so. I go around to see Laura, and she's a beautiful soon-to-be mom. I can't believe I will father another person into this world. She has a lot of support, and she knows very well what she wants, and that doesn't include me in the picture. I'm not saddened by it but proud of her. As Simon says, I need to keep it inside my pants.

I wish I could sometimes.

We arrange to meet in the sports hall where the final is played; Simon texts me, saying he saved me a spot. Sweet. The place is full of people, and I wonder how many of them are just drooling over these studs fighting in lycra suits. I'd say more than half of them, at least.

And together with Simon, there's a constant euphoria in seeing him play and fight and suffer, and as his opponents fall, both Simon and I cheer like maniacs, happy that our son - I mean, his son, is kicking ass as we've never seen before.

For one second, I look into Simon's eyes and can tell he's thinking about me. Me in a singlet, god knows how many years ago. His blue eyes melt as the stadium appears in front of me, and the shock.

I told the coach that I wasn't comfortable in that singlet. Too tight. My balls were squished, and my cock was a noticeable volume, even in its softest state. The other guys were looking, some making fun, others ignoring, others not understanding why I had so much, and they didn't. I was accused of being hard, of stuffing socks in the singlet, of everything. I was 18 at the time, and I will never forget it.

Simon was the only one that didn't mock me. He told the coach that I needed something to conceal the size, but the coach was a practical man: if you have it, flung it, he used to say. But that's not how I saw it. Nonetheless, I went in and won the first match, then the next one, and the next one until I was told I couldn't play anymore. A roar of mothers and fathers had come across like a thick fog over a lake and demanded that I was either concealed or removed.

Maybe I got a little bit excited fighting those men, perfect asses, perfect round muscles. All I wanted was to crush them under my weight, make them feel my desires - god, so many confusing thoughts. It was Simon that showed me that what I needed was to feel loved and taken care of. He showed me that my place was on my knees, and it was where I was the happiest.

CHAPTER 11 (SIMON) - NO WAY BACK

My heart is filled with joy as Jimmy lifts his trophy. He's all sweaty, his chest hyperventilating, and his body tucked inside a singlet that hides nothing. It's always an irresistible desire, but things will go back to normality as the season finishes.

As I drive everyone home, I'm sure my horny state will stabilize, and soon all will be behind my back. We haven't discussed it yet, but I think Luke is looking for another place to stay - he doesn't have to say anything, I know by the way he looks at me.

The three of us barely fit in the lift, and it's hard to stay away from Jimmy in that singlet of hell, and I look straight at Luke: he's thinking the same. The exact same thing. "Are you going to miss that singlet?" Luke asks Jimmy, eyeing him from top to bottom.

I can't see Jimmy's reaction, as his back is turned to me, but he says something that I don't listen to or even try to understand. I'm lucky the lift doors open, and I can finally breathe because that rounded-shaped bubble butt is asking for a good spanking.

It delays my exit from the lift, making them both look back and ask if I'm alright. I am. But that ass is driving me crazy. There's no amount of fuckery with Brian that can make me forget Jimmy, and the only way I see to avoid such a disgrace is, maybe, to move away from all of this.

Luke turns on the TV and throws himself on the couch, "hey, your team is playing tonight," he shouts to Jimmy. He removes his shoes and puts his feet on the table, arms behind his head. Jimmy looks at him like someone who wants to do more than just fool around, and he adjusts his cock on the singlet.

"Sweet," he says, "but I'm going to shower quickly."

"I'll get some snacks," I reply, suddenly happy without understanding why. "Luke, change that suit."

After five minutes, it's Luke and me on the couch, nachos in one hand and beer in the other. We both went for shorts, and while he's shirtless, I'm wearing an old white t-shirt. Jimmy walks out of the shower and rushes to the bedroom returning a few minutes later wearing tight shorts and a tank top. I take the opportunity to go to the kitchen to get more snacks. On my return, Jimmy is sitting down next to Luke, and I decide to stay on the oversized chair next to the couch.

The game goes on, and I'm not paying attention to it, more interested in making small talk with Jimmy. He is in good spirits, complaining about his body being sore from all the fights. I see how he and Luke brush their legs and arms on one another, never to break the character of just watching the game. Jimmy doesn't want a beer, so I grab him some orange juice.

"Sit here, dad," Jimmy asks.

"We'll be too crammed together, son," I say, accepting his suggestion when he pouted. "Fine, fine, I don't wanna mess with you after winning that trophy today."

There's a warmness running through my veins, and the closer I am to Jimmy, the wave of comfort bashes upon me. I need him to know he's safe with me.

"I love that t-shirt," he says to me.

"What do you love about it?" I ask, puzzled.

"It has your smell." Jimmy gently rests his head on my shoulder, and I caress his face.

"Hope that's a good thing," Luke mocks, and he makes Jimmy laugh. It's contagious. The game plays on, but we ignore it. Jimmy's making so much corporal contact with both of us that I'm pretty sure Luke is also getting a hard cock between his legs. I try to avoid mine at any cost, but it's like I'm too weak.

"Of course, it is a good thing," I say. "I'm here for you, son. Never forget that."

He leans on me, legs brushing against Luke's, and makes the sweetest of moans as his fingers run through my bicep. He lifts his eyes at me, "I know, dad. I'm so happy to have you."

Jimmy's hand slips onto my leg, and I shiver. "Is this ok?" he asks me, a soft whisper of a voice, like cotton candy luring me into him. I look at Luke, and he's looking back at me, biting his lip and mouths, "You ok?". It's hard to swallow or even to breathe. Having Jimmy so close is all my fantasies and nightmares turning true simultaneously, and it's so wrong.

If you tell this to anyone, you'll be ostracized. People will look down on you. Your own son? Don't fool yourself with the technicalities of life - you raised him, you loved him, you cared for him. Protect. Love. You'd give your life for Jimmy.

Jimmy keeps his hand on my quad. "You two are in such great shape," he murmurs.

"What, for men our age?" Luke asks, laughing and drinking the rest of his beer.

"Let me grab you another beer," Jimmy says instead of answering Luke's question. There's a void when his hand leaves my leg.

"Luke, what are we doing, Luke? I can't do this, man!"

"Hey, chill. It's just like Brian."

"But Brian wasn't my son."

"And you wish he was, didn't you?"

Those deep eyes catch me off guard. "What if I did? Doesn't change this."

"I'm not reading the room wrong, Simon. He wants the same as us."

"As us? You've done enough, Luke. Keep away from him, god knows Jimmy deserves someone his age."

But Jimmy is at the door, looking at me with eyes that remind me of his mother. His body is muscular, but his movements are delicate and fluid.

"Dad, since when did you become an authority on what I like?" he asks, moving serendipitous towards the couch, placing a beer can in front of each of us, and sitting in the middle, again. "Remember when you asked me if I was gay?"

Instead of replying, I nod. Too afraid to say anything by this point.

"I lie to you." He places his hand back on my leg, but this time Luke is also presented with his touch. "I can't give two fucks about it, honestly. Maybe I'm bi, but -"

"Are you a virgin, boy?" Luke asks rudely, interrupting my son.

Jimmy presses harder on my leg, his palms becoming sweaty and clammy, cold fingers around my warm muscular quads, ready to fuck him deep. Breathe. Inhale, exhale, and don't do something you'll regret forever.

"I got a blowjob, didn't I, Luke?"

Luke looks to the side, unable to avoid a smile, a stupid grin across his face. "I couldn't help myself. Simon, Jimmy has such a fantastic -"

"C'mon, Luke! It's my son you're talking about."

"That's ok, dad. There's nothing to be ashamed of. I liked it a lot. With girls like Nancy, it never was as intense as being swallowed like Luke."

This fucking erection doesn't go down. It's here to stay.

"Simon, I thought you'd have something to say."

"What do you want me to say? This is wrong, I tell you."

"I bet he loves it too," Jimmy tells Luke. "The other girls are all teeth and sore jaws two minutes in. But Luke, when it went down your throat, goddamn."

He sounded like me, telling Luke how he sucked my cock for the first time.

"And besides lousy blowjobs, have you fucked anyone yet?"

"No, not yet."

My son, talking about sex in front of me. I should protect him from the predatory claws of Luke. I know he will not give up until he gets what he wants, until he gets Jimmy all for himself. I know that face. I know that look.

"What?" Both were looking at me.

"Who's Brian?"

"Brian? Brian, who?"

"Don't think Jimmy's a fool Sim." Luke's raspy voice hits me hard.

Jimmy has inquiring eyes, and I can't look at him. I'm ashamed of what I've done.

"It doesn't matter now, Jimmy."

"Luke?" Jimmy asks him instead, but his eyes are on me.

"Ah, don't make me do this, Jimmy. Your dad doesn't want to talk about the guy we fucked together."

"Luke!"

"What? I loved every second of it. We called him Jimmy by the end of the day, you know? Just like you."

"Is that right, dad?" Jimmy asks me, eyes big as two lakes, his mouth sweet and red lips just like Brian's. His hand moves closer; he draws inside my shorts, attracted by the extreme heat between my legs. I need to run, I must stop him. "Did he like being called Jimmy?" He comes closer and, in a fluid movement, kneels in front of me, between my hairy and muscular legs, his hand still reaching for my hidden erection.

I gasp loudly as he touches me, his hands pulling up my shorts and removing my cock from the briefs. "Did you call him my name as he sucked you?" And, with these words, precious lips wrap around the head of my cock, the nectar drop collected by his tongue. My hands are two fists, trying to understand what's happening, and the softest warmness descends upon me. Jimmy is cautious and delicate, not taking his eyes away from me, hands gently grabbing my cock.

No words are exchanged. The white noise from the game doesn't muffle the suckling sounds from Jimmy, getting my cock wet. He goes almost halfway and then returns to the top, tongue-licking me in all the good places. Luke is soberly watching us, a stern face. His hand reaches out for mine, and in a continuous movement, I grab my son's head, weaving my fingers in his unforgettable hair, and push him down.

Don't fucking stop. Jimmy places both hands on my thighs as I push him down on my cock, a mechanical motion. I'm blind by my desire, and he's making me closer to the edge than ever.

"Don't stop!" I shout, making Jimmy grab my cock and jerk me as his mouth involves the big head, making me jump over the precipice of the orgasm. There's no stopping it now.

I let go of his head, allowing him to choose, but like sucking on a tit, he swallows me all. I slump as I come, only being held by Jimmy's body, as my cock spurts an endless fountain of come inside his mouth. He keeps going, making me shiver and squirm until I have to beg for him to stop. I can't look at him, I can't look at myself. The guilt descends over me like a curtain at the end of a play.

"Fuck, that was hot!" Luke shouts.

"What have I done?" I exclaim, looking at Jimmy's face, coated white around the lips. "What the fuck have I done, Jimmy?"

CHAPTER 12 (JIMMY) - A NEW INTIMACY

Dad looks terrified, but his hard cock reassures me. He wants this as much as I do. As much as Luke does. Between the two men, there's little difference - my eyes see them under the same light. My attention turns to Luke, and the lump in his shorts is as tempting as dads.

"You did nothing, dad." My hand still holds his pulsating cock, but I also want Luke. I want it all. "You can think it was Brian all along," I say, getting his cock back in my mouth - no matter how many fantasies you have or how many times you thought about it, the real thing is ten thousand times better. His scent is my new drug, his flavor permanently imbued in my tongue, the way his come coats my tonsils. After coming, it's easier to swallow dad all the way down, and he moans and shivers as I get him past my throat, my nose in his pubes, his mouth whispering, "Oh Jimmy," with short leg spasms.

Having dad down my throat requires a lot of control, so I don't insist much, but the pleasure on his face means it's worth it.

"Jimmy, this can't happen again," Dad says one more time, but he doesn't believe his words.

I kneel in front of them, looking from one to the other. Dad's cock is still out of his shorts, and Luke's is bulging dangerously, a fat sausage that contours his thigh.

"It's just between us," I look up at him, eyes like saucers, making my most adorable face. "And you want this too; it's not just me."

"Don't speak to me like that, Jimmy," he says harshly. Luke stays silent, looking at both of us.

I stand up and sit on Luke's lap. His hands are quick in contouring my body, wrapping around my hips, his hard cock underneath my cheeks.

"I want you to be happy," I tell him, "but you seem to be fighting back hard." I wiggle my ass, making Luke moan. "I'm going to bed."

Luke doesn't force me to stay, and with some frustration, I walk into my dad's bedroom, stripping down to my undies and laying on top of the bed sheets. His scent is everywhere, and I don't understand why he's rejecting me after I spent time down on my knees pleasing him.

I thought he loved me that much. I thought I was doing things right.

My cock is hard to the point of hurting, and I rub it against the mattress, the leaking precum soaking onto the fibers of my briefs and dad's face being omnipresent in my mind. If only he could understand how I feel. The only thing I can think of right now is Luke with dad, all to himself, destroying my chances and taking away my love.

The footsteps echo, and a murmur occurs behind me. I keep my eyes closed, and father sits on the side of the bed. His scent spreads across the room, and I want his warmth again.

"How are you, buddy?" dad asks, caressing my head buried in the pillows. "Sorry if I hurt your feelings, son."

I open one eye, and his figure is blurred from the salty water. He's shirtless.

"I read your signs wrong. I won't meddle in your life again, and if you want to stay with Luke, that's fine. Or anyone else, like that Brian guy."

Dad slumps down the bed, lying with me naked. "Jimmy, Brian didn't mean a thing to me."

"We both know you're lying, dad."

He smacks his lips, passing a hand on my lower back.

"It is what it is, Jimmy. Brian was fun and games, but nothing could compare to you, nothing that would even come near what a son means to me. What you mean to me."

"I'm just a freak. Wanting my own dad, you're right, dad. I should have seen it before."

I keep saying this, trying to justify my attraction, making Simon look at me like he'd look at Brian.

"Don't say that. I raised you with love. To me, you're worth a million men. But I'm afraid of what might happen in the future. This seems wrong, to love you more than you'd love a son, to feel these desires for you, even when you are my flesh and blood - but you have my soul in you. Half of my heart is made up of your love, Jimmy."

"No one has to know. Not even Luke."

He smirks. "Luke is encouraging this more than he should."

I snuggle near him, a hand across his chest. "And why's that?"

Dad remains silent and pulls me to him. His hard cock is pressing against the side of my body, and my head is comfortably resting between his pecs. His skin is smooth, a promise of what can be between us. He gently brushes his hands over my body, playing with the hem of my undies, drawing near with his desire to touch me where he shouldn't.

"Jimmy, I'm not allowed to do the things I want, not with you. Maybe Luke is. I won't stop you guys if you wish to be more... intimate with him."

I want to protest and say I wanted him instead of Luke, but the irresistible truth is maybe I want them both.

"And maybe," father continued, "I can live vicariously through Luke's experience, you know, imagining it was me having the luck of a lifetime."

My ass automatically pushes up against his hand. He stops for a second, but then his hand slips inside the fabric of my underwear, so warm and near.

"But it can be you..." the word daddy plays in my mouth, but it makes me terrified if it breaks the whole illusion. Dad is so close, so near, so hard, that I don't want to ruin anything. Not even this moment.

"But it shouldn't be me, Jimmy. Society will shut on us. We're risking it all, don't you see?"