All Comments on 'February Consequences'

by arsawyer

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  • 218 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Too many followups to the original story have taken the joy out of it. You managed to pound it into the ground and stomp on it. Way too long. Way too improbable and unbelievable even for fiction. And just not good.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

This submission is ridiculously long when you consider there is nothing original, or even fresh, in all these pages. The CliffsNotes guide to 11 pages of sub-mediocrity: Linda is a selfish, entitled bitch who engages in intimacies with men other than her husband. She inherited her slut traits from her mother, who is now in recovery from her sluttery. Rebecca and Jeff, Linda's parents, expend a lot of effort keeping Jim and Linda together. Jim and Jeff gradually bond over their shared status as overly tolerant husbands. Jim is eventually convinced to settle for remaining married to an unfaithful, entitled and immature slut. Subsequently, his life is just as banal as you might expect.

tangoperutangoperuover 1 year ago

Some introspection would have been desirable.

Linda's turnaround was too hurried and unexplained. We hear Linda's thoughts when she was cheating, it would have been nice to hear her thoughts when she realized what she had done.

The same for Jim, we read that he was seeing a counsellor but cannot read the thought processes that made him forgive Linda.

And of course, nobody, neither Linda nor her mom, mentioned the blowjobs.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

For the first time in my life I bombed someone. This virus must be stopped.

Harryin VAHarryin VAover 1 year ago

long read well constructed solved mnay of the issues of the GA February sucks. The one issue is one page 8 or 9.

.......As he opened the truck door for her, he continued. "One day, I ask Dr Franklin, how do I get past what happened and trust you again? He looked at me, and simply ask me, 'did she have lovers before you?'. I said yes. How did you get past those lovers to begin your life together? I couldn't answer him. I didn't know. He pointed out to me that I had categorized those lovers to a file called 'the past', and then forgot about them. I moved forward with you, giving you a hundred percent of my trust."...

.

pure psycho babble and that bullshit answer is why this story only gets 3stars.

.

A man or woman dating / fuckin other people BEFORE they married and have a family is NOT the same thing as what LInda was doing.

servant111servant111over 1 year ago

Simply exceptional storytelling!! What floors me is you took the most disruptive tale on this website and utterly transcended the entire framework THEN your tale provided a resolution that actually flowed from your premises and characterization. This exceptional tale delves deep into the psychological underpinnings of Linda’s compartmentalization. Simply satisfying read in every way. This one goes on my favorites list to savor in front of the fireplace on cold winter nights. You were already a favorite author and this tale cements Thad decision.

5 stars

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

le, I departmentalized your nights out, and I didn't think about them until the next week, when you would come home smelling of booze, smoke, and men's cologne.

You mean Compartmentalised?? Right???

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

1⭐. Could have been a good story if unfortunately it wasn't filled with a long, very long, very very long, anthology of bullshit and endless drivel of the same completely stupid arguments and situation.

francemanfrancemanover 1 year ago

Sorry it didn't work for me.

It was excessively long with too much redundancy. You repeat 5 times the same situation and the same attitudes on the first 3 pages.

You wrote a particularly stupid Linda, who even denies that she's cheating because Dee said so.

And the pop-up is the following remark: But Jim would never do that!

JensensloverJensensloverover 1 year ago

8 pages too long and in serious NEED of editing! ENOUGH of this story, no matter how its written its been done to DEATH. 1*

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Quite enjoyed this if for no other reason than the fact that it exposed the true villain in the piece, Dee.

LeValliere gets swatted aside as a minor annoyance and rightly gets consigned to the role of bit player in the drama.

The rush to reconcile seemed a little awkward. Maybe absence does make the heart grow fonder but forgiveness seemed to come pretty easily and not clear how it was deserved or even earned.

Love the parents in this. Dad bitch-slapping any wannabe lotharios was a classic.

Would love to wish them all the best in this fictional tale but can’t help feeling that Linda has still got her wiring wrong and come the empty nest she will be back looking for something to scratch the itch.

Well written and enjoyable.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Sorry didn’t read it as this subject has been done to death.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Another fucking one writing about a husband who is a fucking saint, a fucking white knight.

What boring bullshit!

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

I really really liked this tale. Such a different spin on how it all began. Great supporting characters added to this tale. I loved Jim’s father inlaw Jeff & mother inlaw Rebecca. Nice wrap up where they begin their life over in Tulsa. Well done arsawyer! Have to state my this is my favorite of all the sequels. 5* +

lujon2019lujon2019over 1 year ago

So where are the consequences?

I feel sorry for Jim, his MIL, FIL, and both counselors deserve to be ass raped with a barbwire dildo for ACTIVELY lying about the fact that the whore was blowing men at the club

That being said Jim is cuck

He knows she was cheating yo to the point of getting fingered and knowing she WANTS to cheat and chose to stay anyway

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

One of the best follow ups written 5X

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Nope, not a chance. He's just a cuck and she'll always be a cheating slut. Trying to put some lipstick on the pig that Linda is doesn't change who she is and apparently you think it is brave not to "run away" which means staying in a toxic relationship with a terrible human being that will hurt you out of selfishness at the drop of a hat is to be admired. Jim is an idiot and there is no question Linda still gets some on the side when she feels the itch because she knows she can and Jim won't do shit. Terrible!

hankmbb1017hankmbb1017over 1 year ago

Loved it! I think it’s time the good guy comes out on top and the skags of the world get shut down.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

I wasn't sure how anyone could make the original story any worse than it was, but you succeeded. Nothing to be proud of. As for those who thought it a raving good story, what the hell is wrong with you?

MightyheartMightyheartover 1 year ago

Good writing but needed to be half the length.

Linda Comes across as a whore whom Jim would be better off without.

TajfaTajfaover 1 year ago

Very good and really good writing. Only niggle I have is that the last 2 pages are unnecessary so 4 stars.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Just garbage. No resemblance to the original story except the player. She is an out and out slut who showed no remorse until someone showed interest in her husband. And don't get me started on the shitty mother that deleted the worst evidence. He should have dumped her just for what she said at the club.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

And the point of it all?

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Long winded cuck bullshit.

AngelRiderAngelRiderover 1 year ago

Thanks for the summary. There was simply no way i was going to exert the amount of effort to get through a 40k word story when the early rating is under 4. That's always an indicator of extreme violence or shoddy reconciliation. The length suggests an author going to extreme lengths to justify the bullshit. And for what? If Linda is that much of a whore and doesn't respect her husband at all then why the hell do you stay married? It's certainly going to damage the kids because you can't hide disrespect. Rotten

DrtywrdsmithDrtywrdsmithover 1 year ago

Well that was a different take. Good read.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Well you managed to take the most overblown tripe on Literotica and turn it into 11 pages of even more rotten tripe.

Turning502019Turning502019over 1 year ago

One of the better versions of this tale but, best I can tell Jim is still clueless on the blow jobs since the mother in law deleted that clip. Hard to let a BJ slide.

Robby_DRobby_Dover 1 year ago

I thought that the story was excellent. It dealt with all of the issues that the original story presented in the most satisfying way. I gave it 5 stars.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

I’m sure I’m far from the first, but I’ll add my voice to the list. Pretty decent, but easily twice as long as it needed to be.

numbnutz49numbnutz49over 1 year ago

I saw the comment by servant111 and agree with the exceptional storytelling. As I am writing this, I think the rating was 3.6 and it clearly is better than that rating. I've mentioned before, I'm still sitting on a version that, like this one, deviates from the base story and only using it for background but I fear, like this one, is too long and tries to go too far. While Linda did not commit the ultimate sin with her paramours, her behavior was bad and yet the "loving family" reunifies with minimal effort by Linda. Why Tulsa? It's not perfect but I always loved going there to visit with a consultant to our company!

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Where are the consequences? She barely says sorry. She did unforgivable things to her husband.

And it would have been nice to see her tell Dee that she didn’t want her as a friend.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

One of the best versions of February Sucks.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

I agree with the comment about lack of introspection on both Jim and Linda's part. Jim is too superhuman and there is not exploration of his post fight life. Otherwise, a good take on the Anderson classic.

EastCoaster1EastCoaster1over 1 year ago

When I started reading this, I wondered where the connection was, but once the story got to when Mark's character was introduced, I began to see why the buildup in the previous part of the story

For me, this was an interesting take on the "February Sucks" canon, and definitely deserving of the 5 stars I gave it.

I'm not sure why this story resonates so much, other than the potential of anyone - male or female - to take the path described in the prologue to the original Andrrson telling... the mythical 'hall pass' for a celebrity.

My partner and I are too old school for this type of scenario, but I do know others for whom the celebrity hall pass is a reality.

In this case, the ultimate RAAC was appropriate, and the completion of the story within the new 'world' to which they moved seemed to fit their story.

My only thought at the end was that it seemed just a bit rushed in the ending, but considering the story length, was not a major begative. I might suggest someone giving your stories a final read before posting, to catch some of the typos, but I don't think they ruined it or.wete a major distraction.

Overall, I think this was an inventive slant on one of the most followed LW tales... well done !

northstanderrhinonorthstanderrhinoover 1 year ago

Probably well written, but much too wordy

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

I don't agree with some comments. When I saw the title, i thought "not again". But, although using the same story plot, you made this one your very own. A well written, fleshed out story, beyond the initial premises. Don't let petty remarks about errors spoil your achievement. And "Yes" Harry, before marriage isn't the same, it takes a "strong" husband to forgive and overcome trust issues.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Tangoperu and Harryin VA addressed the issues I had with this story. Jim's brother had the original video. Jim would have found out about the oral sex. That wasn't addressed. Jim's thoughts just disappeared for the bulk of the story. You didn't really show how he overcame his hurt and pain to give her another chance. You dropped LW. For such a willful person, Linda didn't make any waves once she was exiled to her parents' home. The happy ending doesn't feel completely earned. However, you did a very solid job of creating insight as to how Linda would be dumb enough to run off with the football player and for explaining Dee's motives.

gatorhermitgatorhermitover 1 year ago
No need to tie this one to GA’s story

Out of the 11 pages, only a little bit included Marc the tight end. And other than Marc being hospitalized, no mention again. No legal fallout. No NFL consequences. This story is eleven pages of Linda’s descent into slutdom and the coordinated effort to pull her out of it. Long and tedious, however, moving to a new city and starting over did make sense at the end.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

nearly as good as the first story

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Finally a story where the husband returns the slap. In total it was way too long. The last parts I had to skim, too irrelevant. 3*

demanderdemanderover 1 year ago

Long. Long. I assumed she fucked the guy in the car with Dee. Also, his brother knew about the blow job, so why does mom erasing it matter in the end? D

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

sorry, the original story didn't even deserve to be read. Much less the agonizingly long list of attempts to fix such a broken, fucked up original. 11 pages is a bride too far for that. If you had simply posted it as a new, stand-alone story, I might have read it, but I've been down this road too many times.

WargamerWargamerover 1 year ago

I definitely liked Jim beating the snot out of Marc, but l disliked Jim taking back his cheating wife. The reconciliation was so confected, so forced and false.

Jim put up with so much from her, reality would’ve seen her kicked to the curb in the blink of an eye for all the shit she pulled

3/5

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

This way to long sequel had nothing to do with the original. Author completely changed character’s personalities. It would have been better as a stand alone.

phill1cphill1cover 1 year ago

Seems absurd that someone could understand what marriage is before she gets married and then forget what it is because some ne'er do well says it's fun...

Let's face it, unless you are totally drunk off your ass, it's not going to be fun to go out and fuck someone not your spouse every week. And there ain't no way I'm doing a wife I know is kissing, stroking, whatevering with someone else I don't know and approve of. There's no way that kids would be oblivious either.

The notion here, not realistic, is that it could build to a level where GNOs are the norm and that this "man" would take her back when there are plenty of other less insecure women looking for a permanent, exclusive relationship. That just wouldn't happen.

It mostly only happens in derivative stories about Linda and Jim. Yeah, waay too long for a ridiculously RAAC finish.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Great story but the spelling and grammatical errors took away from the story. I look forward to seeing more from you in the future.

Tx77TumbleweedTx77Tumbleweedover 1 year ago

Overall, I think this story finally took an interesting direction that had some unique qualities. I usually dislike reconciliation stories, but in this one there are some key differences: Linda’s flawed, weak character regarding Dee get a deeper background, Jim’s strength comes through when he doesn’t allow his wife’s sorry-assed friends to prevent him from stopping Mark the Asshole immediately, and then going through a believable process to save his family. Moving away is realistic, as there is no reason to Dee and her minions another shot at his wife or him. The majority of the previous sequels, while occasionally entertaining were mostly far off in the deep end. I actually appreciated that the villainous athlete gets trivialized, while the far greater evil that Dee has been is called to the front. 4* because I thought some of the therapy process was too unlikely.

hindsight2020hindsight2020over 1 year ago

4*. Good story but MUCH too long. Probably could be edited to half.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

This could have been a great story, but at every turn, Jim allowed Linda to be disobedient, and disrespectful. The story is supposed to be about consequences, but Linda had few, and they were minor.

Jim tells her not to go out with her slutty friends, and she does it anyway. He does nothing. She doesn’t take care of her kids on Saturdays, and he does nothing. After she holds him so that Marc can hit him, does he have her charged with unlawful restraint? No. At least file for a restraining order? No. File for divorce, and sole custody of the children? No.

In fact, the only consequences that Linda received were imposed by her father! Months of disrespect to her husband, performed sexual acts with other men, and her punishment was to be grounded.

Her mother enabled the slut! How? By deleting the video of the blowjob Linda gave. The right thing to do is to give Jim all the information, and allow him to choose for himself. Her mother threatened to testify against her, but then hid the evidence that might have made Jim file. If Jim had seen the blowjob, he would have never touched Linda again. He would have put her away from him, and the rest of the story wouldn’t have happened.

The best person in this story is Linda’s father. He took decisive action every time. He is the only person to hold Linda accountable. If only he had made it clear to Linda immediately after meeting Dee that she would NOT be friends with her. Should have spanked her until she couldn’t sit, and kept doing it until she stayed away from Dee.

As for Linda being afraid of Jim after the fight, to quote from the best story in LW “If you won’t respect me, you damn sure will be afraid of me!” Since Linda is basically a 12 year old girl in a grown woman’s body, she only responds to her slutty best friend, and her father. So, Jim should have gotten rid of her, since she doesn’t have the maturity to be a wife and mother. If he was going to keep her, then he has to be her father in addition to being her husband. He should have given her a punishment that would make it clear that if she so much as said hello to another man, he would make sure that she spent the rest of her life in pain and fear!

ZK

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

11 pages? I am not sure I even want to start.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

I must say that you took an interesting approach. The original story had an interesting premise and a strong start, but then fell apart when the writer altered the characters to allow the unrealistic reconciliation they desired. Most people that try to fix the disaster keep the good parts and try to jump in where GA went off the rails. You, did the opposite. You completely gutted the original premise and solid opening. Then, of all things, you stuck with an unrealistic reconciliation. I mean, what's the point? To be blunt, you would have been better off putting new names on your new characters and posting it as just another story. Heck, even changing the names and posting this as an "inspired by" like others who choose to deal with Mark LaValliere outside of the confines of the other GA characters would have been better.

Now, I'm not saying that Jim and Linda couldn't reconcile. I'm just saying that the way you handled it was unrealistic. Your approach reminded me of what we used to do with our kids when they wanted us to count to 100 for some silly reason. "1, 2, skip a few, 100" In case that went over your head, what I mean is that you skipped over a lot that would be required between Linda's breakthrough and Jim's amnesia about what she was.

Now, on to nitpicking. You really need an editor! It's really frustrating when you can't keep your characters straight, even in a single paragraph. There are also a lot of grammatical errors that break the flow.

Unfortunately, rating your story is hard. As a "fix" of the original it sucks. There is too much difference between the same characters in the two versions. As a rewrite of the original story, it also sucks. The strength of the original is the premise. You completely gutted that. As a stand alone approach that uses Mark LaValliere as a crisis point, it's a decent story. The reconciliation is still abrupt and missing a lot to support it, but the overall story works. So, I end up rating the three of roughly 1.5, 1.5, and 3.5 respectively, which averages to 2.5. I guess I'll flip a coin to see if you end up with a 2 or 3 from me...

DessertmanDessertmanover 1 year ago

I agree with prior criticisms. Needs editing, too many spelling, grammar and missing words errors. Also too wordy.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Should have left this one alone.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

As someone pointed out, February must have a virus, it keeps spreading.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Bad, a waste of time. To long, to convoluted, really needs proof reading, many mistakes.

The whole portraying the woman as a stupid dick suckling slut, and the husband as a super guy who is a fearless and skilled fighter to timid to interfere for over a year.

Apparently both his brother and her parents hide the fact that she sucked another man's dick more than once. Goofy!!

poopybrodypoopybrodyover 1 year ago

Dee needed more karma done to her.

Omegaman56Omegaman56over 1 year ago

To me Linda us mentally broken. She has deposited underlying problems

Even if his mother in law erased it. Would his brother bring it up. I know I would have

GA story did what story is supposed to do. It make you think. That’s why so many people write their own version

I have only seen one story in that would maybe work as a decent rec story for Jim. If I ever find it again, I’m not pleasure is it rerouted for the couple

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

A great story even though some of the comments do not agree but apparently those commenters read the entire story????? There were some typos and occasionally some slips in the dialogue but the theme more than made up for those errors. As most writers say this is their story so suck it up if you have aproblem with the way their problem is resolved.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Well It certainly was different.

But in the original story. Linda got fucked by LaValliere. As for you and all the other who have tried to emulate the story. You will never beat it. In my opinion the best story on the site.

Nice try. As for Mark LaValliere what happed to him in your story.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

The story and the writing for the most part was exceptional. I really liked Jeff the Father-in-Law. However the last few pages really hurt the story. Not a fan of RAAC and that is what this became.

BigBlueKatBigBlueKatover 1 year ago

Sorry, but there was too much cheating and disrespect for a true reconciliation to be possible. This was “rug sweeping” at best, and just what were the consequences for Linda anyway?

The story started as one of the best, but then just fizzled into a feel good love fest. Just not believable. 3/5

DesertRat681DesertRat681over 1 year ago

Enjoyed it, a bit of a new turn on this dead hose😁. Well done

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Cuckold crap

muskyboymuskyboyover 1 year ago

Nope, LInda cheated many times and was not honest or repentant enough. She wanted to get fucked and it was not her decision not to get fucked, she was willing. Jim was a cuck to knowingly put up with the slut and her friends. No consequences for the slut, at all. Horrible story, and WAY too long.

MormonJackMormonJackover 1 year ago

Thank you for the great work here! Well done. Me, I feel like some of the others: in your story Linda never comes clean about what she did, and there were no real consequences for Linda's blatant betrayals. I wonder: would Jim want her if he knew she was blowing some other guy? Yeah, this version Jim would look past that. Same with the Jim of the original story.

brian_scoobybrian_scoobyover 1 year ago

Great story. Definitely enjoyed this version of February Sucks. Would have loved to read an update about Trish and Bill. And, some bad news about Dee… lol Thank-you

GamblnluckGamblnluckover 1 year ago

Long and drawn out at the beginning. Jim has pics of the other sluts screwing around and he does not make sure the other husbands all have them? They may have been pussy whipped or had their heads in the sand but it might have curtailed the rest.

ecboyecboyover 1 year ago

Brilliant story.

I loved the build up to where February Sucks started and the different route the story took.

Thank you for probably the best version.

TonyspencerTonyspencerover 1 year ago

A likeable version of the old story, which gave more solid reasons for Linda’s celebrity brain fart, it pit some solid history of tiny steps towards the ultimate betrayal. Enjoyable read that had reduced the Mark incident to a few paragraphs while giving us so much more story to enjoy.

OutisOutisover 1 year ago

Surprisingly well written. 5 stars. But..., would I take her back?

Q1000Q1000over 1 year ago

Very, very good!

MwestohioMwestohioover 1 year ago

Good but way too long, and no real consequences for Linda

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

I've got to say I really enjoyed the preview of how Linda ended where she did. That was well thought out/written. I wish you had taken the same approach with the RAAC part of the story. It was like reading 2 different authors. You brushed over that so fast. Truthfully Jim would still be dealing with trust issues. You did the first part of your story a huge disservice by rushing through that.

enderlocke77enderlocke77over 1 year ago

the husband is too much of an ass for me to like this and 8 pages too long

IbeSteveIbeSteveover 1 year ago

page 5 was my favorite

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

It's good to read a version of this where Jim isn't a complete cuck and Linda isn't a full blown narcissist.

There were many missing and extra words. That's why I gave it 4 stars.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Another whore,cuck story

MattblackUKMattblackUKover 1 year ago

This wasn't a continuation it was an entirely different story using the same characters.

Cracker270Cracker270over 1 year ago

I really love it when I click on a story not really expecting much and uncover a jem.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Liked the solid beginning. Hated the "resolution". She kept cheating, disrespecting, and ignoring her husband AND family. The entire arc if this story had Linda sit on her ass like a pretty porcelain doll while everyone literally forced her on what to say and do. And only her parents forced her to do anything at all. She was treated like 5 year old child. I know 9 year old kids with more accountability and responsibility than her. What consequences did she face? She blew some guys. She openly told her husband she would sleep with Marc. She's blown off all his attempts at reconciliation. She flew off the handle at the thought that he may one day kiss another woman after ghosting g him for over a month a d ignoring all his warnings. This is a small child. She's not a woman. She also has no idea what love is because she's never qork2d for or sacrificed anything. She just had to sit still and have everyone tell her where to go and what to say. This was the laziest Mary Sue character ever. The author had to dumb down all characters to make her idiot portrayal work. Having her mother and father compare her rampant cheating to her moms very very brief affair that she immediately regretted and paid 20 years penance was a joke. They are nothing alike. So many more examples where previous characters change personality just to offer homage to the blind idiot God that is Linda. Ugh. This story can have the first or second half. But it can't have both and make narrative sense.

woodwardwoodwardover 1 year ago

Too long a dragged out. The story was fine but I was getting tired of the ongoing infidelity and the husband being a wuss.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Was a pretty good read until Jim suddenly went full cuck. I’m always mystified that I’m almost every cheating husband story the wife, friends and family go full ‘take him to the cleaners’ but in the same number of wives cheating every single person pushes him to forgive and reconcile. Duel standards

The councillor saw all the tapes (and more) age said, the in laws saw the t as ones and the mother in law deleted the blowjob videos. Everyone lying because as most of us know it’s easier to forgive cheating if there’s no actual sex - making out, groping can be forgiven but most men would not forgive their wife giving regular weekly blowjobs to different men. No wonder they kept him in the dark.

I think the outcome was very unlikely, he forgave numerous lies, disrespect, her holding him while Marc tried to punch him, choosing to be with her friends rather than family and of course the sex (maybe not as intercourse but sex nonetheless.

And my god you write like a woman at times, all this Disney romance, women see all that love and romance as being separate from sex hence they can cheat easier whereas men see sex as a bonus g part of love. ‘I’ll forgive her for cutting me off from sex while blowing different guys regularly because I luuuurve her, she’s my soulmate and mother of my children do I’ll accept some sloppy seconds as my sacrifice.

Cuck ending lowers the score

Rayjag1980Rayjag1980over 1 year ago

5 stars. This I think is a much more realistic version of February Sucks. With the original George Anderson's version it is very hard to believe that a couple as in love as they were would just up and leave for a one and done. A wife doesn't leave the security of a marriage like that at the spur of the moment. "Martian Slut Rays" don't exist!

This version lays a foundation of the couple, the underlying difficulties and distancing that would cause a wife to decide to do that. It also shows the consequences of the actions and the repairs needed to get back together. I do think that having the husband intervene and foil the attempted infidelity gave more validity in the reconciliation.

The only regret I have in the story is that there was no confrontation between Linda and Dee once Linda realized that Dee wasn't a friend. Other than that a good read and 5 stars.

Schwanze1Schwanze1over 1 year ago

Page 1

He waited a year? And he hits a body bag?

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Hopefully children do not inherit the stupidity of their parents.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

And they all lived happily ever after. This is just long winded BS. 2 stars.

enderlocke77enderlocke77over 1 year ago

the husbands behavior before u tell use about the slut squad made me not like him. the other comments stand linda seems to be stuck at age 16 with no knowledge of life that her parents should have been teaching her. idk maybe it went into one ear and out the other. there didnt seem to be any consequences. still not sure how she turned back into a loving wife. a few commenter dont think she did anything wrong either lol weird coming from this site. oral sex is sex, oral sex with another person other than ur spouse is cheating, cheating is grounds for a divorce. jim is just as bad as she is he says one thing but does another. they both live in a fantasy called LWs cat lol

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

Likes: 1. good variation on the theme, not just a different ending.

2. Reasonable background for a wife to agree to spend a night with another man (not a good reason, just one that isn’t a complete out of nowhere unrealistic behavior change like the original story)

Dislikes: 1. Too wordy. Pointlessly repetitious without adding value to an emotional statement.

2. Get an editor or at least proofread it, way too many times you used the wrong name, said she instead of he, etc.

3. Although you explained how she realized the error of her ways, you did not show her admitting that to her husband, he apparently is psychic because he accepted that she was changed before she even told him she was sorry or acted in any way remorseful. She only told him she realized she was disrespectful AFTER he had already accepted that she was back to her old loving self; how did he know?

This is not a bad effort for a new writer. I recommend taking a class on writing in your local community college if you enjoyed writing this, it will help your story telling immensely, and you might really enjoy the experience!

-KM

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

11 pages just to reconcile, way to drawn out and obvious it was heading for a reconciliation when it was revealed Jim’s therapist was the husband of Linda’s therapist.

Best thing Jim could have done for himself was serve Linda with separation papers based on the videos and photos from his brother. Second best would have been to have Linda served with divorce papers after the February night out. There were enough videos online to show the court Linda had already left the marriage for another man and no reconciliation was possible. For a guy that was supposed to such a planner, his planing failed him.

OverconfidentSarcasmOverconfidentSarcasmover 1 year ago

I'm sorry, but I just couldn't finish this. This is THE worst February Sucks massacre I've seen so far. There is not a single paragraph in this story that doesn't miss at least one word. Half the sentences are so riddled with typos and weird grammer that I asked myself if I had a stroke while reading them. And then there's the plot...

It's like the author set out to make this a Reconciliation At All Cost Story, completely ignoring how he needed to go through some very special mental gymnastics to achieve that goal.

The Husband is, from the very start, depicted as this overly jealous (IMMEDIATELY assumes Girls Night Out is code for Cheating), annoyingly morale (condescending to others about Hall Passes), and demanding (e.g. his reasons for why he refuses alcohol in the house). And then, after the plot PROVED HIM RIGHT in every point, it then goes on to change his views without any justification to make the RAAC work.

This is fucking horrible! Nothing makes sense, not a single character behaves even remotely like a human being, and no amount of 'suspension of disbelief' could save it.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

What this “version” is NOT is a sequel or continuation of GA’s infamous story. And the reason is simple: GA’s tale had as its core premise a Linda who up until that Feb night, was a faithful, adoring, LOVING wife. Hence the extreme moral dissonance when she trots off with the famous athlete for a fuckfest.

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In this reimagining, Linda has been a slut all along…taking after her slut mother. This makes her behavior explainable (although not acceptable). So the story is just a typical LW telling of how a husband deals with a slut wife. Nothing more. Nothing less.

.

And on that basis what the author provided was above average — if a couple or 3 pages too long.

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4 ****

DrprepDrprepover 1 year ago

I awarded 3 stars for this stand-alone tale. It is well written and meticulously spun…but much too verbose.

This story does not resolve, continue, address, or rectify anything from the original. The characters have been lifted in, almost, name alone. Very little of their actions here bear anything but peripheral resemblance to their behavior in the source material, save for the slut-gluttony of the wife and the overblown magnification of Dee’s idiocy.

I do not consider this interesting tale a part of the February Sucks family.

Doing so would be akin to having Colbert, Kimmel, or Fallon guest-hosting for Johnny Carson.

Frank66Frank66over 1 year ago

11 long pages, and the conversion/restoration of Linda happens in one paragraph? From an extremely self-centered and shallow cheating slut who only cared about her fun, one who vehemently and vociferously defended her right to such 'fun', to a repentant and sorrowful wife wanting nothing but her husband back in such a quick turnaround? Nope- doesn't happen. At least this version stopped Linda from leaving Jim at the restaurant and going to Mark's house and spending the night. That is something that can never be forgiven. Leaving Jim home Friday nights to cheat on him- well, that's debatable whether that could be forgiven.

LWLover60LWLover60over 1 year ago

Best variation yet. I really appreciate the psychology that explains the "Martian Slut Ray" effect on Linda. Following.

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago

I recognize the author spent a lot of time and effort on this story and commend his effort and good writing for the first 8 pages or so. But after portraying a wife who slutted it up weekly for more than a year, who many times engaged in intimate contact with different men including mutual masturbation and oral sex, who was warned repeatedly by her husband and her parents that her behavior was unacceptable, and who not only was ready to fuck the football player but held her husband's arms when he started to fight the asshole, that very same woman supposedly has an epiphany recognizing that she was wrong and gets forgiven in a day or two after months of denial and vile behavior? Implausible to the point that it is unbelievable and ruins everything the author accomplished in the first 60% of the story.

I'm not against a reconciliation when justified but on the story this author tells, reconciliation would be a long hard road and nigh on impossible. Instead, Jim forgives within a couple of days and then the last 3 or 4 pages is a childish fantasy about how quickly their life becomes like a Cinderella story. It's jarring and not even remotely believable. 3*** mainly for good writing, but I defiitely don't like the story as it is presented. If I rated this on the basis of how much I like it, I would score it as a 1 or 2 *.

SwordWielderSwordWielderover 1 year ago

Interesting. You took GA Anderson's idea and made it your own. You changed Jane into a cheater, and Dee into a very evil and demented thing. There was 1 huge plot issue that you missed - What if 1 month after Jim's brother Jon took those photos, he talked with Jim, asked him how he was doing; and in that conversation mentioned something along the lines of "What about the blow job Linda did?". Jim would ask What Blow Job? Jon would resend him the photos and video. That may have been the straw that broke the camel's back and they would have gotten divorced. Also, that may have wrecked his relationship with his in-laws when he found out they deleted those photos. Why didn't Linda get STD tested? She shared body fluids with someone other than her husband and risked not only her health, but Jim and her kids. There should have been a post-nuptial agreement with a heavy penalty for infidelity. Also, evidence of Jane and Dee cheating should have been turned over to their husbands. You made Dee's husband Dave a complete wimp & cuckold. Jane deserves to be divorced, and hopefully not living a nice happy life. As far as Dee goes, she deserves a long, horrible, miserable life - maybe someone knows someone in low places and could arrange a horrible but non-fatal accident for Dee. I think in this case reconciliation is possible, but it would have been a lot longer than what you allowed for.

nestorb30nestorb30over 1 year ago

I don't know, the writing was excellent. But she cheats on him, defends the boyfriend, doesn't co tact the husband for a month or more, little to no apology and they live happily ever after. Oh and her mother covers up the daughter giving a bj to a dude at the club. Should be in sci-fi fantasy

But as I said , excellent writing

Thanks for posting your work

AnonymousAnonymousover 1 year ago
He Got What He Married, So He Got What He Deserved

Linda was Dee's little bitch and mind-fuck toy since the 7th grade, and Jim didn't discern the pathological relationship before they were married? And once he became aware that his wife's best friend was a cheating whore, he didn't realize that, just maybe, Linda's choice of best friend indicated Linda's own lack of morals, ethics, and intellect? Or are we supposed to buy this Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde plot device, where Linda is a perfect wife and mother at home, and then turns int Slutula when she's out with Dee on Fridays. And of course its not really Linda's fault, its the negative influence of her friend Dee. So Linda has the independence and self respect of a 5 year old? It was just too much character morphing, the pinnacle being when Linda just somehow suddenly realizes that sucking and swallowing for some asshole in a bar, or planning to go get her brains fucked out for a weekend with some celebrity jock really was, upon deeper consideration, not very respectful or appropriate for a married woman. I don't think St. Paul could beat that conversion. And somehow Jim just knows that now that Linda sees the light everything about their marriage is going to be just fine. She spent a year throwing away her husband and her marriage, and he takes her back and forgives it all in a day. Right.

/

Thanks for the effort, but you can't make a silk purse out of a whore's cunt. The "cunt" is not Linda, but George Anderson's plot where a loyal loving faithful wife gets hit by Martian Slut Ray and turns into some jocks Slut For A Weekend. Ridiculous. But thanks for the effort.

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