February Sucks - In Cold Blood

Epilogue

I found a job in Tampa, close to my parents, and with a pleasant Februaries. The local football team even won a Super Bowl there (without Asshole, it should be noted).

The divorce was textbook--assets split (yes, I had to return her half of the money but making her sweat for a while made me smile) and everything else.

Not surprisingly, some husbands who took offense at Asshole's m.o. ended his playing careers (both of them) prematurely by incapacitating his knees and family jewels.

Emma and Tommy turned into such impossible brats once they heard what caused their broken home that Linda threw up her hands in despair and consented to their moving to Tampa, where they turned into model children. I credited the weather, but having a caring dad didn't hurt.

I had a few friends back home who felt compelled to share the news of Linda's cold-blooded cheating with every guy who dated her a second time. Once she realized what was happening, she found a job in Orlando, so the kids could visit her every second weekend. We split the proceeds from the sale of the house, which enabled both of us to buy a decent dwelling in the Sunshine State.

It's true what all the stories say--sooner or later we find someone we connect with. Nancy was five years younger, divorced with a daughter Tommy's age. Corny to the max, but we are living happily ever after.

Linda took a while longer, but she, too found a guy, much younger, and apparently they found happiness, too. Until he ran into--and left with--someone his age with firm boobs. In a dance club of all places. In cold blood. At least he didn't just disappear--he turned and waved when he left with his new babe. Linda gave up dating and settled into her condo with a few stray cats--at least that's what the kids said.

Karma, it seems, was still alive, even if she seemed to have mellowed a bit in her old age.