February Sucks - Linda's Choice Ch. 04

"Where am I?" I managed to ask.

"University Hospital," she replied. "You're going to be fine."

In the next half hour, doctors and nurses came and went touching me and checking me all over. I was hooked up on IVs and had a catheter on that they eventually removed. Good thing I was too confused to suffer that indignity with my full faculties. Confused was the keyword for my condition. I had no clue what had happened to me and why.

The next time I came too, the blinds were turned to keep the sunlight from my face. But I could tell it was daytime.

"Linda, baby," I heard my mother's voice. "Can you hear me?"

Mom held my hand as my memories flooded in like a firehose, and I cried like a baby.

"Mom, how is Jim? Is he OK?"

"He was shot, Linda, but he is recovering. The bullet missed his vitals. He is on the other end of the floor."

"What happened?" I asked, still confused.

"That bastard LaValliere shot four people. It's a miracle none of you died."

A miracle, indeed.

"Everyone lived?" I asked in shock.

"If you can call the shooter alive. He is in a coma. Braindead."

"He deserves it," I managed to reply.

"His family are holding out hope, but from what I heard, he is not coming back."

The way my mother said that last part sounded ominous, as if she knew. I was starting to wonder if everyone knew or suspected. Discussing it with my mother was the last thing I wanted.

Eventually, the kids visited for a short time, and so did my dad, who brought a lawyer. She advised me to say nothing to the police that had been waiting to ask me questions.

"Tell us what you remember," the lawyer asked.

Slowly, I told them what I knew without revealing my affair with Mark back in 2007. How Mark had taken hostages and how I ran off. Then how I returned. I was hazy on the details of who shot whom in the end. But they filled in the blanks. By the time they were done, I had all the details sorted.

Bella had picked up Gus's pistol and shot Mark about the same time he hit Jim and me.

"No one has been arrested in your group," the lawyer said. "But the police wants to interview everyone. You are the last."

When the police did interview me, it was anti-climactic. Most of their questions revolved around Mark's appearance at Dee's house and taking us hostage. Apparently, Gus and everyone else had described what happened after. Thank God Gus had survived. And as a policeman, his word was gold in the investigation.

A bullet had hit my husband, went through him, and hit the side of my head. It had not penetrated my cranium, but I had a major concussion and some brain swelling. I was on meds most of the time in the days to come.

"How is Jim," I asked when I was finally lucid, and the pain in my head had stopped.

"Your husband is still recovering," was all I was told.

"Can I see him?"

"Neither of you are ambulatory to do so," the nurses informed me. "But you have a couple of visitors."

Dee helped Bella in my room, who was in a wheelchair. She had been shot in the leg and was apparently the one with the least damage of all of us.

"Does Jim know?"

There. The ultimate question. And the only one that mattered to me by this point.

"He suspects," Bella replied. "But he has no proof."

Dee looked like she was contemplating something but kept quiet.

"Linda, you need to keep it together when you talk to him," Bella said.

"That's the point, Bella. I'm not sure I can."

"After all this!" Bella pointed to her leg still in a cast and bandages. "After all, we have been through?"

"I don't know how to face him and deny it anymore."

"Just suck it up and do it," Bella hissed.

"Bella, if you had seen the look he gave me that morning before the shooting. And just before we went into Dee's house. He knows. I can tell."

"Oh, I've had enough of this," Dee finally said. "Nurse, can Linda get on a wheelchair?"

"Yes," the nurse replied as she checked my vitals. "But she shouldn't."

"Get her in a chair," Dee told her. "She is going to go down the hall. I have an idea."

Ten minutes later, I was in a wheelchair and on the way to Jim's room. They had him in a double room where the other bed was separated with a curtain. While Jim's nurse was checking him, she pulled the curtain around him, and Dee and my nurse wheeled me on the other side of Jim's room without him knowing. Bella waited in her chair in the hallway until I was in position before she entered Jim's side.

"Hi, Bella," I heard him say.

"Hi yourself, Jim. Do you feel any better?'

"Physically, yes. Mentally no."

"Still thinking about your wife and Mark?"

"Yeah," he replied.

"I told you, there is nothing to think about. That asshole wanted to get in your head."

Jim was quiet for a few seconds. Knowing our history with my old stalker Snyder, I knew what Jim was thinking. Snyder had messed up Jim with countless emails lying to my husband about how he had fucked me. It had practically ruined our relationship and led me to Mark's arms. But Jim never knew about me and Mark hooking up. I only met him twice at the mall with the kids without telling Jim who with. All this had to be bouncing around in his mind.

"Too many coincidences Bella," he replied.

"Jim, you have to understand the complexity of my and Mark's relationship."

"What does it have to do with what he did with my wife?" Jim protested.

"Everything," Bella replied. "I had him watched for some time, Jim. The day he met Linda and your kids at the mall, I knew. It wasn't just the kids that told me. My investigator did, as well. So I started looking in on your wife, both personally and professionally."

"Why?" Jim asked, seemingly perplexed.

"Why do you think?" Bella replied. "I wanted to know if she was one of his side bitches."

"And was she?"

"No, she wasn't," I heard Bella lie to him. "She resisted him."

"And you just decided to hire her?"

"When I checked her credentials, she seemed like a good hire for B-fit. And having her close where I could watch her was safer."

"He made a play for Linda that night at the club, didn't he?"

"He did, but someone else set that up. Not me."

"Let me guess, Dee?"

"Nothing gets past you, Jim," she mocked him.

He went quiet again.

"Bella, what has this thing with you and I been?"

"What do you mean?"

"You circled me and teased me for years. Linda confessed that you wanted me. You could have anyone you wanted. Why me?"

Bella scoffed at that.

"At first, you were a yummy perk, an indulgence. I was the boss and you... my employee's spouse. A fantasy of bosses of all time. Haven't you ever entertained that notion for one of your female employees? Or the wife of a man that works for you?"

"Fantasy is one thing," he replied. "Making it come true can be dangerous."

"It took me some time to get the nerve Jim," she replied. "Are you complaining?"

He didn't reply at first.

"No, I'm not."

"I thought so. You took to it like a baby to milk from the first night. And you didn't mind when I brought your wife into it."

"OK, I get it," Jim conceded. "I just don't understand why that night?"

"You can thank Mark for that," she replied. "When he hit on Linda in front of me after getting caught hitting on a wife just recently... he pushed me. I wanted to get even."

"Was it just that?"

"Can you think of a better way?"

"You are devious," Jim said. "Too devious at times. You plan everything."

"You're in business, Jim; it's a good trait, don't you think?"

"It can be," he said. "It's just that there are so many coincidences."

"You're overthinking it."

"Am I?"

Bella took a second before she replied.

"Jim, our life... it's what it is. It's what we have made of it. I have offered you and Linda a good life. Your kids will go to colleges that her salary is paying for. You have been living a good life on my dime, buddy. Not to mention enjoying my body as well. Most men would die to be in your shoes. What's your fucken problem?"

"You know what it is," he replied. "I can't stop thinking Linda had an affair with your asshole of a husband and that you have been covering it up for years."

"You know what, Jim," she replied. "Linda deserves better than this shit. And all of a sudden, I'm not sure I like you anymore."

I stayed quiet and listened to their conversation, dying slowly inside. Jim was not stupid. As compelling as Bella's version of events was, he had that picture of Mark and me at the mall in his head. And he could not let go.

It was then that Dee stepped on their side of the hospital room. She acted like she was just coming in by saying hello. The others replied in kind, but she could tell that all was not happy between Bella and Jim.

"What's going on with you two?" she asked, feigning casualness.

Jim stayed silent.

"Jim is still stuck on Mark and his wife."

"Oh that," Dee replied. "You just can't leave well enough alone, can you, Jim?"

"Dee, I know you and Linda talk about everything," he snapped back. "What did she do with Mark?"

"Well, apparently, Jimbo, your wife doesn't confide in me in everything. Especially the last two years of your life. How you three have been doing threesomes and all."

"That doesn't..." he tried to counter.

"The hell it doesn't!" Dee replied. "Don't you play that wrong husband crap with me! I know you all too well, Jim Johnson."

Jim stayed quiet.

"You can play that game with Linda," Dee continued. "But I was there, remember? What cat's got your tongue?"

More silence.

"What do you mean, Dee?" Bella asked.

"Jim hasn't told you about the time he went stupid on his marriage, did he?"

"I know about the stalker and some emails," Bella replied.

"Yeah, that's the background," Dee replied. "But there is more."

"Dee, it's irrelevant," Jim said nervously.

"Is it? Is it really, Jim?" Dee replied. "Was it irrelevant when you got drunk at my and Dave's house, and I had to drive you home?"

"Dee, please," he now begged her to stop.

"Shut up, Jim," Dee hissed at him. "You were not that drunk that night. I gave you a ride to make sure you didn't crash your car. But there was more to it than that."

"You instigated everything!" Jim spat back, trying not to raise his voice.

"Oh... poor Jim!" Dee mocked him. "He was a victim of bad Dee."

"You came on to me," he snapped back.

"You didn't put up much of a fight Jimbo," she replied.

I could not believe what I was hearing.

"Jim, you and I had been teasing each other for some time before that night," Dee continued. "And when I came on to you, you sure didn't resist. If I remember correctly, you were jamming your dick down my throat with both hands quite enthusiastically."

What the fuck!

"You caught me at a vulnerable time," Jim replied.

"Oh yeah, you were vulnerable earlier that night when you played with my tits as Dave was making drinks. Or when you stuck your finger in my twat and licked it."

"Oh, this is getting interesting!" Bella feigned surprise.

"Why did you have to bring that shit up?" Jim snapped back. "It was a long time ago..."

"You fucken hypocrite!" Bella said.

"Get out of my room!" Jim snapped back. "Both of you!"

But it was I that left first. I waved at the nurse that had been with me and quiet all this time. She silently moved me out the other side to the hallway and my room. My mind was a maelstrom of emotions just then. It was just too much to process.

Bella came to check on me, but I didn't feel like talking. I just cried as I realized what a lie my last ten years had been. More than that, now that I knew what had transpired.

***

Jim did not come by to visit me before or after he checked out. And neither did I. When I was discharged a week later; I moved in with my parents. The kids visited me there, understanding I needed care from my parents. But they were not stupid.

"Mom, are you and dad getting a divorce?" Tommy asked.

"I don't know what we are doing," I replied. "Your father and I have problems. That's for sure."

"Did he catch you cheating on him?" Tommy finally asked.

"No, but a long time ago, our marriage was in trouble," I replied, no longer wanting to lie to my kids. "Both your father and I cheated on each other back in 2007. I'm not proud of it, but it happened."

"But that was long ago," Emma protested.

"I know, baby," I replied. "But we have been both pretending for so long."

"Don't you love each other anymore?" Tommy asked.

"Yes, we do, baby," I replied. "We're just not in love anymore."

Both kids did their best to get us to talk to one another, but neither of us wanted to. I can't speak for Jim, but I knew that ten years of fighting to save our marriage had run its course.

I loved Jim, but I was tired of playing a game to keep him. I had felt sorry for him when I learned how Snyder had messed with his head. Had he not shown interest in fixing our marriage, I would have left him. Instead, I got caught in to Bella's trap and did all I could to hold on to my marriage and family. I did all I could to keep our family together. That is until what happened that horrible day of days.

You see, it's not just that Jim figured out what I may have done. He never had proof I did anything. It was that he knew he had cheated on me with Dee during our bad times. And even knowing he had stepped out on me, he was willing to push the issue of what I had done to the brink. I went through so much for us after my cheating to keep our marriage together. Yet he saw one picture, and his ego would just not let him leave it be.

Dee had covered from him all these years. All he had to do was let it go, and we could have patched things up. That Jim was not willing to fight for us was my breaking point. Not that he had gotten a fucken blowjob from Dee. I had fought for our marriage for years. Why couldn't he swallow his pride, knowing he had stepped out on me? Why did he have to push the issue?

And as time passed and he made no effort to talk to me, I realized that Jim was not my Jim anymore. Had he cared, he would have confronted me. Instead, Jim faded into the background and started a new life. And as time passed, I realized that I didn't care if he did or not anymore.

We stayed legally married. But we live apart and make no effort to make contact. The kids have come to terms with it, and so have our families.

I only see Bella for professional reasons these days. She is truly sad at what transpired, but she has accepted it by now. Jim refuses to see her as much as he shuns me. He refuses to do anything with our couples' group. Especially with Dee and Trevor as well, who used to be Jim's best friend.

All of us but Mark mended that first year physically. But not mentally. That day at Dee's house left its scars that may never heal. Bella is still beautiful, but she has a slight limp. The other couples are still together, but I hardly hear from any of them.

As for me, I have moved into an apartment across town. With the kids in college, the house is rented with the income going to their college fund.

Dee and I still talk occasionally. She told me that she exposed Jim because she just "had enough of his shit." And looking at how Jim chose his ego over our marriage, I agree with her.

I don't know what life will bring, but I recently was asked on a date. I'm thinking of going. But I'm not sure of anything anymore. Who can say they are?

One thing I am sure of. I signed the divorce papers the other day doing an even 50-50 split. I guess we have to sell that house after all.

One thing I know off. I love my kids, and they love me. They are all that matter in the end.

Oh yeah, I forgot. Mark is a vegetable in a hospice center. No one visits him.

And that local mall... it closed.

***

OK. Lighten up.

A Greek, an Englishman, and a French man were flying over nazi Germany in 1942. The plane gets hit. The Frenchman keeps flying and tells the others to get the parachutes. The Greek and Englishman go only to find just two and put them on.

"What do we do about the Frenchman?" asks the Greek.

"Fuck the Frenchie," the Englishman retorts.

"Do we have time?" the Greek asks.

***

And that is that. There will be NO PART 05. Linda's Choice is over, finis, kaput, "there ain't no more."

Once again, I want to thank George Anderson for allowing me to use his excellent story concept in writing my version from Linda's point of view.

***