February Sucks: Same Old Me (1of4)

"I get that, Pe-Pop. Just look me in the eye and tell me one thing. If I was the one pulling this stunt, dumping Linda for another woman, even for 'just one night,' and she was here with the kids instead of me, would you say the same thing to her? Or would you tell her to kick me to the curb?"

He wrinkled his brow.

"Fair question. Well, I wouldn't be your biggest fan, that's for sure. But I would want what's best for everyone, whether that means keeping you in the family or not." He scowled. "Linda is my daughter. I'll always have her back. Always. No matter what. Even if she's acting like a damned fool. But I won't go easy on her. She's a grown woman and a mother herself, but she's not too old to get a dressing down from her parents if she deserves one."

"That's all I can ask." I noticed that Janice had her phone to her ear. "No. No, Nana. I'm not here. I've left already. I'm not talking to her right now." I got up from the table.

"Leaving a message." Janice frowned. It was just past ten in the morning. "Linda? It's your mother. Emma and Tommy are here with us. What's all this about a Mark Lavarry? What's going on? Why isn't your phone on? Jim said you Left him, that you, you... you haven't done anything reckless, have you? Call me as soon as you get this. Please."

"I really should get going now," I said. "I've got a lot to do today. Listen. We're going to need you to look after the kids for a little while, at least until Linda comes home. IF she comes home. I won't be staying in the house for the next few days. I'm going to arrange to meet her in front of a marriage counselor. I don't want to talk to her before that. We need someone to act as a buffer."

"Jim, do you really think that's necessary? Surely, if you just talk to her, you can work things out..."

"NO." I surprised myself and Janice took half a step back. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have snapped. Look, I know Linda will want to get me alone so we can 'just talk.,' then she'll turn on the waterworks and try to manipulate me into the forgiveness she figures she's got coming to her. No, okay? I'm not letting her walk all over me like that. I am NOT." I glowered at them. Rich was motionless, waiting to see if I was going to start a fight. Janice was still visibly frightened. "I need time to get my head together and decide what I'm doing, and that I'm not just lashing out blindly. So, I'm going to TAKE that time, whether Linda likes it or not. She didn't let me 'talk' to her before she ran off with another man. So she's lost the right to demand that we talk when SHE wants. I need for the reality of this to knock the wind out of her. Am I Clear?"

"Yes, Jim."

"One more thing. Emma! Tommy! Come here, we're going to play a little game." I produced the Walgreens bag with the home DNA tests. They toddled over and got curious about the little white boxes.

"This is a science test that will tell us all about our family, ok? It'll tell us all about mommy and daddy and Gramma and Nana and Pe-Pop, and their parents, too, and their parents before them! Want to play with me before we go?"

"Yeah! Yeah!"

"Okay, who wants to go first?" They both wanted to go first, until they saw medical looking things and decided that I should go first. I opened the little stoppered tube and spit into it, took a cheek swab and sealed it all into the mylar pouch with the coded tamper-resistant seal that identified the kit by number. I set up the app on my phone and scanned the code on the sticker. Then I did the same with Tommy, who thought spitting into the vial was hilarious, and Emma, who thought it was gross. Rich and Janice watched us, openly horrified.

"Jim, you don't think... you don't REALLY think..."

"After last night, I don't know WHAT to think." I stuffed the return envelopes with the tests. "You didn't see her. It was so easy for her. Casual. Like she'd done it a hundred times before. It was like... Okay. I don't smoke. I've never smoked. Let's say I secretly used to be a smoker, and somebody handed me a pack of cigarettes and a lighter, and I just automatically lit up with a quick well-practiced motion without even thinking about it, like it was nothing. You would NOT be fooled into thinking it was my first time smoking, okay? Well, I'm not fooled by how easily and quickly she slipped off with another guy. She did it like it was an old habit."

I stood up and made for the door. "I thought I knew your daughter. After ten years of marriage and two kids, I really thought I did. I was WRONG. If this is how she is, I never knew her at all. Maybe you don't really know her either. Consider that." I knelt down and hugged my kids goodbye for the last time in what might be a long time.

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The story continues in February Sucks: Same Old Me 2