February Sucks - The Umpteenth One

"He does not, I told you, he's just sensitive." She stroked Tommy's hair.

A silence fell upon them. This was nice. They hadn't had a family outing like this in a very long time.

As she leaned into his shoulder, she rested her head gently. Jim, nervously chuckled, what the hell was a guy to do in this situation? His ex wife had just laid her head on his shoulder as if he were Paul Anka. Their attention was drawn back to Emma as she snuck her head from behind the stage's curtain. Excitedly Linda took the opportunity to take several pictures for the cloud. Her and Jim were playfully bantering on how to take the perfect picture when suddenly she got a message.

Marc LaV

How's the play? Linda blushed and quickly turned her phone off.

"What the fuck?!" Jim said a little too loudly, catching the attention of the parents in the rows in front and behind them. "Oh like you don't swear." He dismissed them. "What the hell is going on Linda?" He held Tommy close instinctively. Fear quickly and suddenly took hold of him. Seeing the look in his eyes, she quickly went to quell his fears.

"It's nothing serious, Jim. We've just been talking for a few weeks." She admitted. "Nothing's happened. You have nothing to worry about." She tried to sound assuring.

Jim was conflicted. On one hand, the asshole was now closer to Linda than before. Whatever, no biggie, right? After all, they were divorced. But he couldn't shake his anger.

"Like hell I don't, why the hell do you need to go telling him about their things for?" He gestured to Tommy and Emma who had gone behind the curtains.

"That's my business Jim." She huffed, turning away from him. Then something dawned on her. "It's not like your care, we're divorced, remember?" She was fishing to see if he was going to say anything to that. What was she expecting? For him to admit his feelings for her? How would she react if he did?

"I'm just..." He didn't know what to say as he blushed just as the lights were dimming. "You know how I feel. Besides, they're my kids, not his." He frowned.

"They're ours." She corrected him.

"You know what I meant." He said quickly. Their voices were going above a whisper, lowering. "Just keep him away from them. He's got no business with them." He said, finally turning back to the play. Linda looked softly at him. The poor man still felt the inadequacy from her words and writing. He'd failed as a husband and lover, was he going to fail as a father too? She reached for his hand, it was shaking.

"Jim, the kids are safe. I only tell him, he's never met them. We just talk. They're the highlight of my life, just like they are yours." She said soothingly. Jim's leg began to move up and down. His breathing struggled to regain composure. He pulled his hand away from hers and focused his attention back to Emma. They'd talk after the show.

Linda flinched as he negated her touch. She knew they were doing better than other co parents. But she knew there was a bridge that needed to be built for a full reconnection to take place. She already learned she couldn't have it all. Their separation proof of that. His pulling away, however, hurt. She took a deep breath. She decided to pursue Marc. If Jim wouldn't have her, she wasn't going to wait on him.

Jim for his part was having a crisis. He kept stealing glances at Linda. They were in this situation because of what she had done. And it had been up to him to end it. Did he even have a right to feel jealous over her anymore? He knew they couldn't be together anymore. She had every right to pursue a relationship if she damn well pleased. Just as he did. So why hadn't he?

The play ended soon enough. Standing ovations finished, and a bow to the crowd done, the parents and children began to file out of the school. The four of them stopped at Linda's car. Emma and Tommy said their goodbyes, and got in. Alone with each other again.

"Jim. I'm planning on seeing him again soon. I just wanted to let you know." There was a coldness and fear in her chest. Jim wasn't a violent man. But she was afraid of his reaction nonetheless. She was positive he may even have had a sort of stress disorder after the entire ordeal. But she felt as though...she needed to tell him she was moving on, despite how much it hurt her. Maybe she was hoping he'd fight for her.

Jim looked at her, he bit the inside of his lip and smiled at her. He still loved this woman. But they both needed to move on.

"Linda, it's fine. Sorry I got upset there." He then went in for a hug, familiarizing himself with her for what seemed to be the end of their future as a couple. She gulped and fought back tears and hugged him back. He sniffled, it was getting cold. But his warmth was almost...everlasting. "Drive safe." He fare welled as he made it back to his car. She waved at him. Getting in hers and diving off.

The following Friday, Jim's boss had awarded him with an all expense paid cruise trip.

"Get some color, meet somebody, you've been doing good again. Enjoy!" Or something like that. He couldn't exactly remember what he said. All Jim knew was that he was going to enjoy himself for a week. Damn, he'd have to tell Linda. After work, before packing could even begin, he had to talk with Linda first. Stopping by her studio, he rang her bell a few times. It hadn't been time to have picked up the kids from school. Much to his irritated surprise, Dee answered the door. Her jaw dropped when she saw him. He looked better than the last time she saw him.

"Dee."

"Jim! So good to see you!" She began to twirl her finger in her hair locks. Linda came walking down the stairs after her.

"Jim, what are you doing here?" She asked. Jim ignored Dee.

"Hey Linda, I just wanted to let you know that I've been kinda pushed onto a week-long vacation. I was hoping you could take the kids for the week?" He asked, scratching the back of his head.

"Yes, that's fine. You could have sent a message, you know?" She teased.

"Right, but I just figured I'd tell you in person. Sorry if I stepped on any plans you might've had." Sincere as always. She smiled.

"You're fine. I'll see you when I see you." He smiled in turn.

"It was nice seeing you Jim!" Called out Dee, Jim didn't respond as he floored it. "You think his job will pay for a plus one?" Linda rolled her eyes.

"Yea, like he'll take you." She teased.

"Don't be like that, your ex just caught my eye. Besides, it's not like you can join him either." She closed the door and they headed back upstairs. " What with your date with Marc and all."

"It's just a date." Linda giggled.

"Uh huh. Like last time."

"Ok, so what? I have good memories of that night." Even if they cost me my marriage. She sagged a bit.

"I know the feeling."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Linda inquired.

"Nothing...I don't want to talk about it." She waved her off.

Monday

Jim

Sun, clear skies, free drinks and the range of the whole place. Who would have thought. Jim, that's who. It had been a few hours since they left shore and were surrounded by miles and miles of beautiful Atlantic ocean. He'd already gone zip-lining, worked on his tan, watched a jazz show, and played basketball with some of the other bachelors.

Life was good. He'd stopped at the tiki themed bar below deck. Sitting on a high stool, sipping on his coconut cocktail, he failed to notice the bombshell that had just sat next to him.

"Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes." It'd been well over a year since he heard that voice, but he could never forget it. Turning around, he was joyously surprised to see her.

"Ellen! How have you been?" He said, she smiled in turn. They exchanged a quick hug. It was good to see someone familiar.

"Business is good and I decided to have some fun for myself for a while." She looked around. "How's the wife and kids?" She asked Jim, he dropped a 20 on the counter to the bartender for whatever she wanted.

"The kids are fine, and its ex-wife now." He said, flexing his empty ring finger.

"No, I'm sorry that didn't work out." She offered.

"I would have figured L.W. would have told you about it." He conversed.

"No, he and I don't really gossip." She took a sip of her sex on the beach. "What happened?" She asked.

And thus, he recanted his tale of woe. The Ipad, the argument, his demands, and the divorce.

"That must have been hard." She offered.

"We're actually really good now." He waved it off.

"Really? I don't know of any man who has dealt with it the way you have."

"Such are the powers that be." He shrugged, causing her to giggle.

"No, she's actually going to see him this week if you can imagine." He blabbed, where the fuck did that come from? She looked at him with concern. She dropped her own 100 on the counter, ordering a round of tequila shots for them. This she had to hear. By hours end they were laughing and sharing stories. He opened up more. She had hoped that it had worked out between them. L.W. made such an interesting story out of their situation. Though she had her own reservations about it all.

"Bullshit! She had no right to be as angry over your outburst!" She said, Jim pointed at the air repeatedly in agreement.

"Thank you!." Finally some validation. "She wrote in her final note how sorry she was and how much she regretted it. Told me that she wouldn't have let him take her that night!" He was on the verge. "And then she writes that shit in her Ipad!"

"Seriously, you have the patience of a saint for putting up with as much as you have." She downed another shot.

"No one can say I didn't try." They clinked their glasses, cheering.

"You know, between you and me." She drunkenly whispered. "I hoped came with me. Give her a taste of her own medicine." She teased. He laughed.

"No no no, I'm not vindictive." He waved.

"Come on, you didn't think of taking this for the night?" She ran her hands along her body. "Even a little."

"Oh, thinking about it, yes!" He nodded stupidly. "Actually doing it...I still loved Linda to have hurt her the way she hurt me!" He held the bridge of his nose.

"That's stupid!" She boistered.

"I know!" He sobbed.

"Hey hey! No tears!" She snapped her fingers in front of his face.

"I didn't owe her anything in hindsight, and she didn't either."

"You've held it in long enough! Let it out!" She began to tear up along with him. "She didn't respect you enough to have offered you the same courtesy. You fought temptation and that, that's beautiful!" Fuck it felt to have let this out and not be chastised. To have his thought affirmed felt cathartic. They managed to make it to their own bedrooms, exchanging numbers to meet again the following day.

Linda

It had been strange for the kids to have suddenly found themselves on a Monday afternoon with their mom. With their dad, they usually went out to some place and let themselves get tired before heading home, doing homework and heading to bed.

Of course, Linda tried to keep them distracted with some home activities, but their bodies felt the need to be outside. Eventually she caved in and took them to a nearby park, where she sat on a bench while they tired themselves out.

Her and Marc had been texting nearly every afternoon. Most of their conversations were about their one night long ago. He was of course grateful to have gotten the opportunity to have her again and maybe even permanently. He sympathized for her divorce, but it truly felt like it paid off for him in the end. Going on about how lucky he was to have a chance with her now, and what he would do to her first chance he could.

It all made Linda feel desired. But it was always contrasted with her motherly duties. Obviously, getting frisky over text was a no go, since the kids required her full attention. No matter, when the sitter came on Thursday, she was sure going to enjoy him once more.

If she was honest, however, she was not exactly feeling good about this, considering she didn't tell Jim about it. She didn't owe him anything anymore...not that she did that February...Her heartstrings pulled and she felt somewhat ashamed of what she was doing. She convinced herself it'd be fine, she'd be celebrating once more.

"Oh, I hope he's alright." She whispered to herself.

Wednesday

Jim

Having found company on the cruise was great. All day yesterday, Jim and Ellen had participated in more activities as a pseudo couple. From shows, performances, casinos. They were having a ball. Even if Jim lost 300 on a lousy hand, Ellen's company alone made up for it.

They were working on their tans during the middle of the day. Both were relaxed and taking in the elements. They turned towards each other and smiled.

"What?" She asked.

"Nothing, you're gorgeous." He complimented her.

"You're not so bad yourself, handsome." She winked behind her sunglasses.

"You really think so?" He chuckled, Ellen turned her body to face him.

"How long have you doubted yourself, Jim?" She asked him. It was time to talk with him sober. Sympathies aside, she wanted to help this man.

"Believe it or not, that very same February." He admitted. "Before that, everything came easy. Making friends, going out, social gatherings." He sighed before admitting it. "Sex." He twiddled his thumbs. "Linda was my world. She had been integral in every aspect. It was impossible to disconnect all those things. All that's gone because of what happened." He closed his eyes and faced the sun, taking a deep breath.

"I see." She stood up. "Come." She grabbed his hands, he followed suit, but was very hesitant.

"Where we goin'?" He stifled a laugh. She smirked back at him.

"We're getting your confidence back." She winked.

Jim liked the sound of that.

Linda

So tomorrow is good 4 u?

She messaged. She had found some downtime at work to message him. His response was almost immediate.

Still is, Linda, be there on time.

Fuck, the memories had come flooding back to her. She could feel herself dampen at the memory, and figured she could wait it out for tomorrow, let her climax build oh so beautifully. It felt good to be desired again. Especially by Marc, now that they could keep in touch without much risk this time around. Risk...

Part of the reason the first time had been so good with him was because she had Jim as a template to compare Marc to. In just about every category, he'd won out. But that was her marriage Jim. Now existed single dad, goes to the gym every day Jim. And she didn't know what he was capable of.

Shaking her head, she tried to push the thought of him away. This was all too much. She had no problem compartmentalizing away Jim when Marc had invaded her thoughts, so why was he now? She decided to message him. Maybe she was just worried about hurting him again, perhaps hearing him say they were on good terms would soothe her worries.

Jim

And get his confidence back he did. This was first time Jim had had sex since being married to Linda, and what a way to get started. Ellen was tight in all the right ways, her curves dipped perfectly with every caress of his fingers. She was as reciprocal as he was in taking. She rode him like he'd never been ridden before and made him feel like not like a man, but a god.

With her, there was no need to hint at what it was he wanted, or what she wanted for that matter. It all came to them instinctively. He began to understand what L.W. meant by a very high-end escort. The experience from her job alone, made her a natural in such acts of intimacy.

It was the little things she did to him that build him up, confidently and sexually. Whatever lipstick she used, remained on his body, leaving masterful marks of her presence there. His chest, his abdomen, his thighs, and along the length of his member. Even when she devoured him, faded remnants of her lipstick remained. It almost felt like a trophy to have such marks on him.

When all that was finished, she laid on top of him. Leaving hickeys along the front of his chest. Another trophy, he thought funny enough.

"Fuck...I should have gone with you that night." He admitted to himself. He thought simply being tempted would have been enough, but the physical aspect had been such a remarkable experience that this must have been what Linda must have felt. He got a clearer mind, which made the act of her doing it all the worse. Now he understood what it was like to spend time with someone of perfect sexual caliber. It was almost haunting. Linda's sexual prowess truly paled in comparison as far the sheer physical and sexual act went. But his heart...that was a different matter.

"She would have held you in contempt, like you did her." He nodded. One didn't heal, forgive and forget so easily, even worse when threatened to hurry. He had no time to grieve, no understanding, no support. "It would have circled on and on." His children would have grown to see it. And that wouldn't have been worth it.

"I know. Only now that it's over between us, that I see I should have gone for it and ended it sooner." He rubbed her shoulder. She turned to look him in the eyes.

"Is it over, Jim?" She asked him seriously. Being faced with her and caught off guard, he stammered. He tried saying yes. He should've forced himself to say yes. But it'd be a lie. Just then his phone rang. Ellen moved to the side for him to reach his phone.

"Linda?" He looked surprised. Ellen smirked. He quickly answered. "Everything ok?" He asked her. Happy that he could have picked up, she laughed,.

"I was just about to ask you that." She smiled. "How's your cruise?"

"It's good. Been enjoying myself." He turned back to Ellen, who winked at him. What a surreal conversation, he thought.

"Good, that's good Jim." She meant, she really did. There was an awkward silence following that.

"Did you need something, Linda?" He asked, worried for the reason she called him.

"Yea, well no not exactly. I just wanted to make sure you were doing ok."

"Oh, um. Yeah. I am. Are you?" He asked. Her heart raced more and more. Why was she nervous?

"Yeah. I just. Wanted to let you know I'm going out on Friday. I hired a sitter to watch the kids." She said, he nodded on his end. "I'm seeing Marc again." She suddenly admitted. "And I just wanted us to be...good." Her hand clutched the front of her chest. Jim didn't know what to say. He wasn't angry, or even feeling worried about it.

"Um, yeah. I think we are, Linda." He said. But it began to eat at him. She was no longer his wife, so what eggshells were there to walk on?

"Good. Thanks Jim, I mean it." She was about to hang up when Jim felt as though he'd had enough of that. Or at least that he was due an explanation. He suddenly called out to her.

"Wait, Linda." She quickly pressed the phone to her ear again, what was he going to say? "Why did you have to tell me that?" He asked honestly. This caught her off guard. "You could have just left it at sitter, why bring him up?" He asked earnestly.

"I just...well. I." She stuttered. Why had she? This was just like when they were married, she would find ways to sneak Marc into the conversation to compare Jim to. Or the other way around? She did it in her follow up notes, she did it in her journal. Even now she was still doing it.

"Here, give me that." Ellen said, swiping the phone from his hand.

"Who's that?" Linda asked in concern, was he with someone? Jim was too dumbfounded and surprised by what Ellen had done to really do anything else.

"Linda, right?" Ellen said, as Linda nodded before shaking her head and confirming over the phone. "You probably don't remember me, it's Ellen. Jim and I were becoming very well acquainted before you called, is there anything you need?" Ellen smirked. Linda was too gobsmacked to have replied.

"I just, I..." What the hell was Ellen doing there? With Jim! She tried to rationalize before defensively asking. "Did L.W. put you up to this?" She was fuming, this was a sick joke. Jim was able to hear that and it didn't occur to him to ask that question. Ellen chuckled.