Feeding Ducks

At the mention of Deirdre putting me down I could see the blinders of shame descend in her eyes. Wow, it was only a shot in the dark but... bullseye. I evidently had a bigger problem than I realized.

--

On Wednesday, I called Gordon and told him to get ready to serve Hailey on Friday, location to be determined. Again, I came home early, to find the snake's diesel-powered VW in our driveway. A wicked idea poked its little head from the dirt of my hurt.

I parked in front of the neighbor's yard and, using the side entrance to our garage, retrieved the jerry can with the lawnmower's gasoline, and emptied it into the snake's diesel tank. I considered deflating her tires, but that would give her an excuse to linger longer. The gasoline wouldn't fry her engine until she was at least a few blocks away.

After putting the gas can back in the garage, I walked back to my car, and arrived the way I usually did.

Stepping into the house through the garage, I saw both women tense up. I nodded briefly at Deirdre and walked up to Hailey. "Hi babe, seeing's as I got my pay cut, I figured I'd come home early and spend some time with my Goldilocks." Giving her a tight hug, I laid a heavy kiss on her, and let the snake see with her own eyes I was still the hubby, no matter her attempts at separating us.

Rather than welcome me, though, Hailey struggled to shake me off. "We've got company," she hissed.

I caught Deirdre's smirk. Maybe I wasn't going to be the hubby that much longer.

Unfazed, I kept control of the moment. "Okay. When she leaves, let's go take a walk in Eldridge Park and feed the ducks." In our early days we used to love doing that. Kids and jobs interfered, though, but I wanted to remind her of our good days.

Taking the hint, Deirdre stood. "Well, I must be off. You two lovebirds enjoy."

I noticed her sarcasm when she said lovebirds. Using the chance, I brought her up to speed. "Yeah, I don't know if Hailey told you, but they've cut my pay by more than half. We might have to sell the house and her car, because we can't make the payments anymore."

"What?" they both gasped.

"Yeah, but Hailey offered to help out." I turned to her. "How did the interview go?"

Nervously stuttering, she replied. "It went okay. They have a substitute and sounded excited at the prospect of getting someone on board full-time. But it will have to wait until the new school year in the fall."

"That is awesome, babe!" I offered her a high-five. "After our walk in the park we can go celebrate."

"I thought," Deirdre said in a snippy voice, "you couldn't afford celebrations anymore."

I put my arm around Hailey's waist and smiled into her face. "When we started out, we had nothing, and she loved to go with me to McDonald's to celebrate events, like my first job, and when she found out she was pregnant with Derek. It'll be good for us to remind ourselves of our good times. Mickey Dees won't break the bank."

Ignoring Deirdre, I swatted my wife's ass lightly. "Go on, go get your walking shoes."

Hailey's face put her frustration on full display. However, neither woman had much of a choice, and while Hailey ascended the stairs to our bedroom, I ushered the snake to her car and saw her off.

When my wife came down, I made a show of taking both our phones and setting them on the dining room table. "Just us tonight, just like old times."

I took a plastic bag with a few slices of old bread and we headed to the park.

--

The tension between us evaporated as we slowly walked to the pond where the ducks, spotting the bag, hailed us as long-lost heroes. Hailey always enjoyed feeding them, even though it's considered politically incorrect these days, and the smiles and laughter lighting up her face reminded me why we fell in love. Afterward, we took a leisurely stroll around the pond with her hand in mine.

"I forgot how nice this is," she smiled. "Thanks for bringing us."

"Glad you like it. This is what I looked forward to after Natalie left--reconnecting and enjoying our old age the same way we did in the beginning, only with a little more money."

"But you said we have to sell the house?"

"Or we can refinance it, take some equity out to tide us over. We might have to sell your Beemer, though, those payments were hurting us even before the pay cut."

I continued. "We were very happy with our little apartment, remember? With the kids gone, we can scale down to a two-bedroom townhouse or something similar. The economy will pick up again--it always does--and then, when we have your teacher salary, too, we can take that trip to Europe we always wanted to. Imagine strolling, just like this, along a promenade in the south of France. So what if we have to pull in our belts a little for a few months? We've done it before and we can do it again."

I stopped, held her lightly, and lowered my head for a kiss. After hesitating for a moment, she responded. Our lips touched lightly and after a while her tongue flitted along my lips, seeking entrance. After a good five minutes of tongues flirting, I broke away. "I have missed that. Maybe with my reduced hours we can do this every day."

With a big smile, she sighed and laid her head on my chest. I kissed the top of her head. "Want to go to a movie tonight?"

She pulled a face. "Deirdre and I went to see the only one that held any interest to me."

I knew, but didn't say anything. "How about one of your favorites at home?" Our DVD collection didn't hold anything else.

Scrolling through her mental Rolodex, her face lit up. "Notting Hill, I haven't seen that in a while. Forget dinner, let's just make popcorn and have that with the movie."

--

Back home, I got a big bowl and, while the popcorn popped, fixed her favorite drink, a passionfruit martini.

She returned, wearing loose shorty pajamas and her hair in a ponytail. "Ooh, a martini. Nice! Thank you."

With the bowl of popcorn between us, I started the movie. When we emptied the bowl, I took it to the kitchen and fixed her a second martini, while I took a second beer.

By the time the movie credits rolled, she lay fast asleep against me. Gently, I picked her up and carried her to bed. Although I'd hoped to get lucky, I was happy that we'd had some loving time together. I covered her and headed back down to the kitchen to clean up.

The silent phones caught my attention. With a grin, I picked them both up and turned them on. Hers had a plethora of messages from Snake Bitch. Her car had broken down, she had no idea what the problem was. She had to have it towed, she was still far from home, could Hailey come and pick her up? In the end, she had to pay for the tow, and a ride-share to get home. Call me evil, but those messages warmed every cockle of my heart. Served the bitch right!

What surprised me was the snake even left me a few messages. At first pleading, but quickly turning mean. Why was I keeping Hailey from her best friend? No doubt I had taken her to a nice restaurant, but only after getting rid of her friend. Wow, that surprised me. She actually had the nerve to expect me to have Hailey ready--and funded--to meet her warped needs.

Then I took the phones to my study and sat in my desk chair, the closest thing I had in my house to a comfortable seat, and scrolled through Hailey's phone. Because we never looked at each other's phones, she hadn't bothered to delete or hide her text message history.

The venom coming from Deirdre kept me shaking my head. I copied page after page of insults and innuendos and emailed them to myself. The snake's campaign had been going for months. In the beginning, it was subtle, but lately, it had gotten crude, direct and demeaning. "Why do you still hang out with the idiot? He doesn't care for you. He's worthless in bed and he'll never stand up for you. You need to come out with me on Friday night, and I'll introduce you to some real men. You won't be able to walk when they're done with you. Then you'll see what you've been missing as life passed you by with Mr. Milquetoast."

In the beginning, Hailey corrected Deirdre. Once, she even pointed out that the evening they'd enjoyed at the ballet was paid for by Mr. Milquetoast. But those protests became weaker and then disappeared. At least Hailey had not yet joined the insult-fest. But neither had she rebutted the increasing suggestions that Hailey get a divorce to free herself from the shackles the wimpy loser were imposing on her. I sat back. Did the suggestions of divorce bother me as much as it should? The walk by the little lake showed me what Hailey and I could have together, but that wasn't going to happen as long as she kept listening to Deirdre's crap.

The big question was: how could I separate the two women?

--

Thursday morning, Hailey searched for her phone, found it... and promptly freaked out. "Robbie! Deirdre's car broke down last night while we were at the park. Ohmigod, we should have helped her."

Immediately, she dialed her friend. "Deirdre! Are you okay?"

All I heard was a muted jabbering that lasted a while, probably a blow-by-blow description of her ordeal.

"How much will it cost to... Three thousand dollars? Oh no!" Silence as the snake wound up my wife to get her wussy ATM hubby to pay.

Before the slut could take a breath, I slipped out the door and headed for work. Hailey's bleeding heart no doubt was going to offer to have me pay for her engine repair, but that wasn't going to happen, not on this planet in this lifetime. I kept my phone off on the drive to the office to avoid the inevitable call.

When I walked into my office, I told Janice, my assistant, to put all my wife's calls to the office into voicemail. While I sipped my coffee, I turned on the cellphone and listened to her voicemails. Yep, sure enough. Were we such ogres that we were going to abandon our great friend? Knowing I had to face the music some time, I called her back. She picked up on the first ring, and blasted me before I could say a word. Perfect. I let her wind herself up with the outrage that I was such a mean, dastardly person. After a minute, I hung up.

It must have taken her four or five minutes before she realized she'd lost her audience, because that's how long it took for her to call again. In the meantime, I'd worked my mug of hot coffee down to the halfway mark while I checked my business emails.

"Robbie, did you just hang up on me?"

"Absolutely. Until you can talk to me in a civil tone I don't have to listen to you."

"You sonofa--"

Click.

Again, it took a while before her next call. The screech stayed at the same level. "Don't you dare hang--"

Click.

To make myself clear, I texted her. I will not be talked to without respect. It's my money and I decide how to spend it. If you don't like that, tough turkeys. Remember how you tried to convince me you love me? When you sound like you actually mean it, maybe I'll listen to you. Maybe. In the meantime, you have to be insane if you think I will do anything, or pay anything, for the woman who disses me at every opportunity.

Five minutes later, she called again. Warily I slid open the connection. "Robbie, I'm sorry for yelling at you. Can we talk?"

"Of course we can. But if your call is to get me to pay a penny toward helping that snake you mistake for a friend, I will end this call immediately. That topic is not on the table and not up for discussion. The answer is not just no, but hell no. Are we clear on that?"

A sniffle came over the connection. "Yes. I'm sorry you feel that way about her. She's really a nice person."

"You call someone who belittles me a nice person? Someone who calls me milquetoast? Yes, I heard about that. You're not the only one she told that to. A nice person? Wow. Why are you so passionate about remaining friends with someone who disrespects and disparages me that much? Is it because she paints such a wonderful picture of other men's cocks?"

She gasped.

"Robbie, where do you get that idea? She lives a different lifestyle and I respect that. But that doesn't mean she puts you down."

"Hailey, are you telling me straight up she has never insulted or dissed me?"

She paused. "Well..."

"Yes or no, Hailey, no waffling."

"Well, maybe she pointed out a flaw once or twice. Nobody's perfect, you know. But she meant nothing by it."

"Okay, I need to get to work."

"So, are you refusing to help Deirdre at all?"

"Are you going out with her tomorrow night, or with me?"

"After this mess, she needs companionship more than ever."

"So do I. Just remember, actions speak louder than words. And they have consequences."

"Remember, I love you," she said.

I hung up before anything more could be said, and turned off my phone.

After I left work early again Thursday afternoon, I called the credit card company and lowered her limit to only $200, enough for gas and grocery emergencies but not anything more. Then I stopped at an ATM and withdrew $60.

Driving home, I belted it out to the golden oldies radio station with a big smile on my face. I should have taken back control of my life a long time ago.

I arrived early, per my new usual, and there was Hailey, all tarted up, and with her overnight bag--ready for a night on the town with her new guide and wingperson.

I handed her the $60. "Just for emergencies. And condoms. I don't want to have you stranded somewhere. Just remember, don't drive if you've had too much to drink. Either take a cab or call me. If I'm here, I'll come pick you up."

"What do you mean if you're here?"

"Silly girl--you didn't for one minute expect me to sit here at home burping and farting while your friend tries to hook you up with a new fuckbuddy, do you? Sauce for the goose, you know the story. So, if you insist on going out, so will I." I kept my voice as neutral as I could. "Maybe I'll get lucky, maybe not. We'll just see. I need to go shower and get ready."

"Wait!" Hailey's voice became shrill. "Where are you going?"

"Wherever the chicks are. Don't tell me you live under the delusion that we'll still be married after tonight, do you?"

She almost lost her breath. "What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about your disrespect for me and my needs. I'm in a difficult place: my hours and pay just got cut. For all I know, I may not have a job next week. My wife doesn't give a flying fuck, forget loving me. Instead, she's clingy with a bitch who despises and badmouths me, and I'm stuck with payments I can't make. What do I have left in my life? So, duh, I'm going to see if I can find some comfort somewhere, anywhere. Who knows? I may get lucky, I may not, you never know. But I do know if I stay home alone I'll get depressed, that's a guarantee.

"So... you abandoning me leaves me with no choice but to go take my chances." I sped up the stairs for my shower, leaving a wife gaping like a fish again.

After the shower, I moved to the counter and began shaving.

Hailey entered and saw me. "Why are you shaving this time of day?"

"That should be obvious. When I'm eating my date, I don't want to inflict razor burn on her inner thighs, do I?"

"What?" she shrieked, sounding ready to expire.

"You heard me. You're electing to go spend the night with a woman who has only one thing on her brain: getting drilled by strange men. Guess what? She's going to do her utmost to get you laid as well. You're beautiful and sexy, so you'll have no trouble attracting lots of men only too anxious to do you. None of this is news to you.

"You're even taking an overnight bag. So, you're leaving me with no choice but to move on, and I'm starting my interviews and rehearsals tonight. Why wait? It's clear as day, I and my feelings don't count with you at all." I turned away from the mirror and with an honest frown looked at her directly. "Why is any of this a surprise to you? Oh, let me guess: you think I'm a spineless wimp, and you don't think I have the guts to take care of myself. Newsflash, babe. I can and I will."

I turned back and shaved a few more strokes while watching her in the mirror, opening and closing her mouth without saying anything.

When I was done, I rinsed and held my chin out to her. "Feel, is it nice and smooth?"

Suddenly, she turned and fell on the bed, sobbing. Was she crying because the consequences of her choices became clear? Or simply that she no longer controlled me anymore? Hard to tell.

I went into our walk-in closet and dressed in a navy suit, button-down shirt and burgundy tie.

When I emerged, I did a twirl like she usually did for me. "How do I look?"

Staying on the bed, she refused to look.

--

As agreed, I picked up Jim Perry, my designated wingman for the night, and we headed to The Bonaventure, the city's trendiest club, and I suspected Hailey and Deirdre's destination. Because we were early, we secured a booth in the very back with our first drink. About half an hour later, my wife and her snake-friend entered and chose a table visible from anywhere in the club. Deirdre was dressed to fuck, no other way to describe it. The hem of her tight, stretchy black dress barely covered her ass and her hard nipples proclaimed her hungry availability to all. Sure enough, it wasn't five minutes before two guys strolled over. With big smiles, they offered to buy drinks, and took seats. The taller of the two, with blond Scandinavian looks, focused on Hailey, who looked a little nervous, while the shorter guy, looking almost like the sixties singer Tom Jones, leered at Deirdre, who was clearly into the game.

Their drinks came and, after a sip, they all headed to the dance floor, where they hopped around to a fast beat, writhing their bodies and ogling each other. Deirdre's tits shook as she gyrated with her arms high above her head. The dance, in more ways than one, had begun. Hailey always liked dancing, and she shook her booty with gusto, too. Now and then she turned her back on Blondie and backed her ass into his crotch and, no doubt, the hardon he'd developed.

After three dances, they returned to their tables to sit one out and slake their thirst.

The next number was a slow one, which cleared their table again. Deirdre practically smeared herself onto her beau with his Tom Jones curls. Hailey, looking over at her guide, followed suit, allowing Blondie to dance close and slide his hands down into her ass.

During the next number, another slow one, Blondie leaned down and began kissing Hailey. Initially, she hesitated, but then I could see her surrendering and kissing him back with increasing passion. She ground her crotch into his with the familiar movement we all know.

I walked across the room to the process server and pointed Hailey out to her. "Next time they're back at the table," I said. Halfway back, I turned around. On a whim, I said, "Do you wanna dance?"

She looked at me for several seconds, looked toward Hailey allowing herself to be mauled, and said, "You doing this to make her jealous?"

Nodding, I replied, "Gordon said you're smart."

She grinned. "Now, or after I serve her?"

"Let's do it after. That way we don't have to worry about stopping when the music ends."

She fist-bumped me, and walked straight to my wife and her blond horndog. "Are you Hailey Halstead?"

"Yes, why?"

"You've been served."

After handing the envelope to a stunned Hailey, she walked into my arms and we slowly swayed away. We were hardly ten paces into the dance when the girl, whose name I never got, attacked me with a sizzling kiss and her groin grinding into my instant hardon. Eyes closed, she looked the very picture of sexual surrender. I closed my eyes, too, in order to enjoy this sudden surprise with no distraction. When the dance ended, I opened my eyes for the first time. Taking my newfound partner to our table, I looked across to see Hailey bawling her eyes out, Deirdre staring daggers at me... and their two guys gone. Good and giddy feelings attacked me from all sides.