All Comments on 'Fem Dom with My Wife's Best Friend'

Looking forward to seeing where this goes

I love femdom stories but I have a very hard time reading something like yours that has perhaps the worst grammar one can imagine! Literotica has people who will write your stories if you ask them! 'intern'?? You obviously mean 'in turn', right? That's only one example. I don't have time to show the rest.

Agreed

I really love stories where the husband is blackmailed behind the wife's back and is made to submit but just five paragraphs in, I had to quit. It was too difficult to read.

Thank you for writing and posting here, I appreciate every attempt but please get some editing help and try again.

good start

bet the wife is in on it if they have been friends for that long

The story hits my kinks so well I don't give a fuck about the grammar. That was so hot and I hope you have many more parts!

Thanks for your feedback.

It seems you like the story frame, but not the grammar.

I will work on this.

good effort; I like the basis of your story.

As others have said, an editor will help tremendously. Failing that, read the story out loud, slowly. When reading in their head, authors tend to read quickly what they think they wrote instead of what they actually wrote, if that makes sense.

I like where the story is heading, and its concept. If nothing else, please use quotation marks. :)

Are you that stupid or do you think we're so stupid? Getting out of marriage because of a porn movie? How stupid is that? Have you ever heard of love? If that's why she leaves, let her go because then she's too stupid for a marriage!

Someone has already pointed out intern but not new instead of knew.

It is so difficult to read where there are no speech marks. I'm surprised admin allowed this story through.

Love the humiliate and blackmail angle, and the lick my pussy wanker, delicious, hope you have to lick both pussies.

Lovely. You need to add a variety of humiliating situations in a follow up. make him wank and lick it up, leash him and have him bark like a dog, dress him up like a pretty girl and go to a bar etc.