All Comments on 'Female Best Friend - Revelations'

How is it that she can scream in her bedroom - while a boy is in there none-the-less - and her parents don't come running? Not plausible. And people don't typically scream during sex. There are plenty of other ways to describe the sounds people make during orgasm that would be more accurate.

You tell us from the outset that they're best friends, but in the very first paragraph he describes her as breedable. Ew. Ew. Ew. That does not give the impression at all that he cares for or respects her, let alone enough to be her best friend, and makes him sound like a creep.

So many short, choppy sentences are awkward and don't make for a smooth read.

It's really hard to suspend disbelief on this one. It reads like an inexperienced teenage boy's (bad) wet dream.

"A height of 5'3" (160 cms) and curves at the perfect places made her breedable." This is what a teenager thinks of his supposed best friend? He doesn't care about her. This story is pure fantasy. He's going to be alone for a long time.

Very unrealistic and poor dialogue. The other comments make a very valid point and your story edit shows a lack of willingness to grow as a writer. Blindly blocking out negativity because you think "Not everyone's mind is the same" is very immature. The whole point of establishing two characters as friends is that the writer gets the opportunity to explore the growth of a friendship through intimacy to something more sexual. There was no growth in this story, no character development. You have the potential to be a good writer but you can't just ignore criticism because you don't like it or because you think people are different.

Y'all really think me and other people have a lot of time. Nope. Many of us come here for a quickie. If that isn't the case, stop reading any moment you please. Really and seriously, I won't change my imagination to fit your criticism. I'm okay with a niche audience, quality over quantity. I'm not here to cater to just you. Much love to all who added it to their favorites. Thanks.