Fetish

Dana took a long, deep breath, blew it out through pursed lips, and nodded.

"I think I sort of... I think I put a lot of eggs in one basket, you know? Thinking that a few pills were going to solve all my problems? ...and now I'm here and I still have problems, and I get—" Her voice choked off abruptly. She brushed her fingers gently across her cheeks, catching a tear, and made a mewling sound. "I'm really sorry."

"I know," Dana said, tersely. When Erin didn't say anything else, she shut the driver's side door and walked up to the house . Her daughter trudged along behind her, dragging her heels without looking up.

***

Dana sat curled up on the couch, eyes trained on the TV without really processing anything she was seeing. Two hours passed in a blink without any more significant motion than to lean to the side for her glass of water. She turned at a thump, looking in the direction of the far corner of the house. Erin had dropped something upstairs and then cursed, and that broke the spell that had settled over her. She turned off the TV and sat in the dark, with only the sound of music coming down from Erin's room to spoil the silence.

She blew out a long breath and let her head fall back into the couch. Intentionally or not, her daughter had shaken her confidence. Doubt crept into her spine, and Erin's words rang in her ears. Mostly she felt ashamed and unsettled, but there was another feeling too. A tiny little voice.

That voice called her bluff that she was in any way ashamed of being called a slut. That her abashed reaction was more in line with how she thought she should react to being called a slut and not what Dana actually felt.

You like sex, the voice said. So what?

It wasn't okay for that part of her to spill over into Erin's life and cause problems. She wanted to enjoy her life, but not at her daughter's expense.

She wasn't upset at you. You can only dream of what her problems are, and you know it.

Dana shook her head.

Slut.

She took a deep breath and leaned back, and as she did the tension drained from her shoulders.

Slut.

It was a perverse joy. She knew that. A kind of inverted thing, like pain that made her feel alive. The kind of thing she shouldn't enjoy at all, which of course just made it that much more appealing. It was the same reason she kept coming back around to the same warm summer night whenever she really wanted to get off.

Slut.

Dana shivered. She and her uncle had only ever had that one encounter. Neither of them had ever brought it up afterwards. They shared a few covert smiles from time to time, enough to convince her she hadn't dreamt the whole thing, but nothing more. The actual event, that one glorious blowjob, had been enough on its own to keep her flush with orgasms for many years. In her mind, though, the fantasy had expanded significantly on more than one occasion.

Her father had four brothers. Uncle Ethan was the oldest, and definitely the handsomest, but they all shared a breadth of shoulder and chest that made her squirm. If it wasn't Uncle Ethan by himself, out there in her backyard under the stars, then it was all four.

All of them had aged well, a product of good genes. Sometimes she thought about them as they were back then, and sometimes she thought about them as they are now. Most of the time she thought about herself as she'd been back then, young and carefree, but recently she'd come to enjoy the fantasy just as she was. Older, curvier, and better able to appreciate how wrong it was.

Of course, they always treated her the same no matter how she looked. That was the beautiful part about fantasy. They didn't need to catch up on news of her cousins, or her nieces or nephews. They didn't need to spend time on how long it had been since they'd all been able to get together in once place. Dana could simply get on all fours and service one of them while another got down on his knees behind her. She'd given them all very specific sizes and shapes, and she knew each one when it entered her without looking.

Slut.

They all said it, in their voices that sounded so similar. Never with derision or contempt, but because they'd witnessed what saying it did to her. Of course, the truth of the matter was that it was her fantasy and she had a weak spot for being called on her behavior. It hurt, and it hurt because it touched something real.

She was a slut, and she liked it.

They took turns with her, always cumming inside of her. Most of them finished in her mouth, as she preferred, but there was always at least one load pumped into her pussy. It was non-stop, barely giving her the time to catch her breath at any moment, and she loved it. Sometimes she could manage to give a handjob or two while she had two of the cocks inside of her. On a few occasions, when she was really turned on, she'd let one of them fuck her in the ass.

Some time later, when the haze lifted from her eyes, Dana licked her lips. There was no telling how many times she'd orgasmed, and her body felt beautifully tired. The highs rolled through her in waves, making her skin tingle, and such was her euphoria that it was a full five minutes before she realized there was no music playing upstairs.

She bit her lip and winced, but stopped herself before she started getting into a self-deprecating spiral, and simply crept upstairs to bed. If Erin complains tomorrow, she thought, I'll apologize like before, but only for disturbing her. I'm not sorry for enjoying myself or indulging a little.

Sleep overtook her quickly once she was under her covers, and she dreamed magnificently.

***

Dana leaned back, resting gently against the head of the bed, and sighed happily. She ran her fingers through June's hair, gently encouraging her as she sucked on Dana's clit. The woman had her arms wrapped around Dana's legs, was on her knees with her ass in the air, and further down on the bed a beautiful specimen of young man railed June. He was pouring sweat as he did, but his grip on her gorgeous hips kept her from rocking too much. She could keep up suction on Dana's clit, and that was all Dana cared about.

The boy was more slender than most of the ones she and June had found. He was fit and in good shape, and he'd definitely had stamina, but their shared tastes usually led them to young men who were more on the 'built' side.

June, meanwhile, could barely focus on what she was doing. She'd managed eye contact with Dana for a bit, but suction was as much as she could handle. The suckling was more than enough on its own, and the sight of June's magnificent ass taking a pounding was everything she'd hoped 'seeing a woman getting fucked in front of her could be. June's hips and cheeks rippled gloriously with every thrust, and the woman herself was possessed. She'd never moaned so passionately for any of the others. Granted, this was only their fifth threesome, but Dana thought she'd seen enough in the first four to have the measure of her. It was nice to know there was more levels to the woman, and that mystery remained.

As she lay there, being eaten out by a lovely woman, Dana had a moment of epiphany; she loved the female form. Loved, with a capital L. The shapes that June curled into, and the expressions, were so beautiful. There was such a sensuality to her fuckbuddy, and everything she did, that Dana enjoyed. Moreover, while she appreciated the male form, she was often more interested in what it could do to her than anything else. Strong arms and shoulders were a weakness for her, but less so aesthetically than for their ability to bend her over and pin her in place, or flip her over with ease.

She thought about that for a long while as she stared down at June. She had not grown feelings for the other woman, but her appreciation of, and pleasure derived from, her friend's body had grown in leaps and bounds over the preceding months. If she was being honest with herself, she was seeing other women in a whole new light across the board.

One of June's arms disappeared beneath her, and within a minute she orgasmed for the second time. As she did, the pressure on Dana's clit reached eye-watering proportions, and Dana felt herself falling toward an orgasm of her own. Just as she did, June's missing arm reappeared, fingers slick, and she pushed the index and middle finger against Dana's anus.

Dana bucked, reaching out for the wood behind her for something to grip, and the orgasm rushed toward her all at once. Her thighs came together around June's head, squeezing with every ounce of effort she could muster. The skin on June's forehead went from light to dark red, though Dana could not have stopped herself from clenching if she wanted to.

June fell away when Dana finally relaxed her leg, and her head fell against the inside of Dana's thigh like a pillow. She stroked June's hair, raking her nails lightly across the scalp, and purred as the boy pounded her faster and faster. He said nothing, and though his gaze had been fixed on June's shoulder blades for twenty minutes or more, Dana was pretty sure that he wasn't really seeing anything. The two of them had already started their foreplay when Dana arrived, and the boy's responsiveness hadn't been great even then.

Not to say that he wasn't focused, but he did not seem to possess the ability to talk and fuck at the same time.

He came abruptly, with seemingly no warning sign; just a sudden and complete stop to everything followed quickly by a sensuous squirm from June. Dana crawled around her, moving slowly across the bed. She hadn't actually been able to tell which hole the cock had gone into, so when June slipped forward and his cock pulled out of her pussy wet and still semi-hard, Dana was delighted. He groaned and hissed through gritted teeth as she took his honey-slick cock into her mouth, but she didn't care how sensitive he was.

June tasted lovely, by her reckoning. It was an intense flavor, much like the woman herself.

The boy softened quickly in her mouth, but she did not relent until she'd run her tongue over every square inch of flesh at least twice. He collapsed on his back, but Dana simply followed and lashed her tongue across the base of his shaft and his balls. The longer she went, the more clear it was that boy number five was a one-and-done, but he'd certainly been worth the trip. After a minute, June moved to lay next to her, and the two of them licked and cleaned and kissed for a few glorious minutes.

"Goodbye, Cesàr," June purred, as the boy hastily clothed himself. He looked back over his shoulder, gave her an unreadable look, and scampered from the room still shoeless and shirtless.

June looked at Dana and held her index finger over her lips, signaling silence, and moved across the room without bothering to cover herself. She made two trips from the bed to a beautiful wooden chest and back, first bringing two glasses she filled and then a pair of cigars. Dana quirked her head, but June wasn't even bothering to ask. She simply settled back onto the bed near the head and patted the space next to her, and when Dana slid to lay beside her June passed her a glass of brandy and a cigar.

The front door shut, sound echoing through the empty house, and June's smile broadened impossibly.

"Cheers," she said, raising her glass. Dana nodded and met her glass for glass. Both women were still naked, but they'd quickly established a comfort level with their nudity that made everything else much easier.

"So," Dana said, dragging out the vowel and giving the sound a rising tension. "Who was that?"

June gave her a devilish half-smile as she reached for the cigar cutter. "Cesàr has been coming over to this house for... God. Almost twenty years? It's been quite some time since the last time he was here, but he was practically living here at one point."

"A friend of Josh?"

June nodded and grinned impishly. "He used to hit on me constantly, whenever Josh was out of the room or not paying attention. It was so cute." She placed the cigar between her lips and waved a struck match over the exposed end. "He and Josh... mmm... used to spend all their time hiding in his room with their dicks in each other's mouths. Hours and hours of it."

"How do you know that?'

"Because, dear." June gave her a level look. "I know my Josh. Plus, his moans were always muffled, like he had something in his mouth, so either they were both in bondage simultaneously, or they were..." She slid the cigar in and out of her lips suggestively, and then cackled. "Oh, I can't wait to tell him."

Dana's jaw fell open right when June was going to light her cigar, and the other women tsk'ed at her. "You're going to tell him?"

"Of course," she said. "Why wouldn't I?" She continued, without waiting for Dana to answer, and lay back against the head of the bed with her brandy in one hand and her cigar in the other. "Sure, he might call me wicked or dreadful, but he'll be smiling when he does it. Knowing Josh, he'll make some excuse to run into Cesàr completely by accident, and then while they're catching up he'll find excuses to keep using the word motherfucker as much as possible to see if he can rattle the poor boy. That, or something equally devious."

Dana nearly choked on a sip of brandy.

"I almost pity Cesàr. Almost."

"He was one of your son's exes," Dana said softly, staring far into the distance and shaking her head. "That's..."

June watched her out of the corner of her eye with an arched eyebrow. "You don't approve?"

"What?" Dana said. "No. I mean, No, that's not what I mean. I just... I thought I needed to keep a firm line there."

"However similar Josh and Erin's high school experiences might have been, they are different people. I'm able to bring Josh's exes to bed because Josh is who he is, not because that's normal by any means." She took a long puff of her cigar and blew it out slowly. "If you think that sort of thing would hurt Erin's feelings, don't do it."

Dana nodded enthusiastically.

"I don't mind admitting that this was quite a get in my book. I know that tonight wasn't the most collaborative effort, but it meant a lot that you came. It really helped break the tension, and I think it helped him not get the wrong idea about what was happening." She looked over at Dana and nodded approvingly. "You've smoked a cigar before, I see."

"Cigarettes were my poison," Dana said, holding the cigar sideways and staring at it, "but this isn't my first. I was a pack-a-day girl until I got pregnant, and then I gave them up."

"Good for you," June said. "It's hard to quit. That's quite a sacrifice."

"It was never a choice. My husband continued to smoke for several more years, but I quit cold turkey." She took a sip of the brandy and chased it with another puff from the cigar. "I could get used to this, however."

June nodded approvingly.

"I think I would like Josh."

"You're his type too," June said with a smirk. "Don't get me wrong, he is as gay as the summer breeze, but I think he'd make a rare exception for you if you approached him. Just promise me that, if you do ever take him to bed, you'll tell me when and where so I can barge afterwards and feign outrage." Then she took a puff and smiled as she exhaled. "God, that would be glorious."

Dana laughed, sighed, and then took a long breath. "You know, I envy the relationship you two have."

"Have you been keeping up with Erin? Telling her what we do, and politely inquiring about her life?"

"Yeah," she said slowly, "Somewhat, but she's still having a really hard time. I don't want to seem like I'm trying to brag about how many men I've bedded."

"Ah, self-confidence. He is a fickle master."

"Exactly."

"Don't worry," June said. "Dana, you are gifted with an abundance of insight. It's only a matter of time until the two of you find your way to a healthier, more open discourse."

"Thank you," she replied, feeling a warmth pass through her.

June nodded, and the two of them clinked their nearly empty glasses together.

"I'm a mess," June said. "Josh always said that Cesàr came like a biblical flood, but I didn't really believe him until now. Do you mind if I shower first?"

"Not at all," Dana said. She nodded and leaned back, grateful for the moment of solitude. The steady hiss of the steam, and June's pitch-perfect humming were the perfect backdrop to do a little thinking.

***

It took a few minutes for Dana to find Erin, upon arriving home later that evening, because Erin was curled up on her bed, eyes bloodshot, and had either refused or been unable to answer the multiple calls for her. Dana sat down on the edge of the bed and laid her hand onto Erin's knee.

"I told her," Erin muttered. "I told Lacey."

Dana moved up the bed and sat down beside Erin, hugging her daughter fiercely. Erin leaned into her shoulder and cried. At a few points, it seemed like Erin started to tell her more, but the words were always overtaken by the sobbing and Dana just held her. They stayed like that for a long time.

Eventually, after the worst of it died down, Dana got up slowly, walked to her room, and returned a minute later with some cotton balls, remover, and violet nail polish. Erin gave her a confused look, but Dana remained steadfast as she pulled back on the blanket, sat cross-legged on the bed, and put a pillow in her lap.

"Feet," she said, firmly but gently.

Erin slouched into her pile of pillows and reluctantly raised her feet up. The remains of a two-month old layer of polish clung defiantly to the tips of her daughter's toes, so Dana immediately went to work with a cotton ball soaked in pink non-acetone.

"Stubborn," she said under her breath, as she rubbed delicately.

"Sorry."

Dana looked up and shook her head. "I wouldn't have you any other way. But I meant the polish."

Erin folded her arms tightly around her chest for a moment, and then reached for one of her stuffed bears to hug.

"You know," Dana said, this time without looking up from her work, "there's a tough balance... when it comes to the things we want. You hear all the time about how... how you've gotta go out... and go after the things you want. Be proactive. Seize the day. That kind of thing. But then... at the same time... there's that romantic notion that the thing you want most will find you. The idea of that thing wanting you in return is so... " She exhaled and shook her head. "It's powerful."

Erin nodded silently.

"What made you say something to Lacey?" After a moment, Dana added, "I mean, I know it's been on your mind, but what changed?"

"She stripped down in front of me again," Erin croaked. "I tried to say that it was hard for me when she did that because... I wanted to see that. Because I liked her."

"And what did she say?"

Erin's chin dropped to her chest. "She said she liked me too, but..."

"I see."

Her daughter nodded, seemingly grateful to not need to explain more.

"There," Dana said, dropping her third cotton ball into the pile. "Hmmm. Do you have any clippers?"

Erin rolled to her side, reached into her nightstand, and handed them over. Dana picked up her daughter's left foot and set to work rounding off edges and tapering curves.

"...and a little there," she murmured to herself. "I'm really proud of you."

"For making a fool of myself?"

"That's not what you did," she said, putting down the clippers and reaching for the polish. "You took a risk. A big one. You made yourself vulnerable."

"Yeah," she laughed morbidly. "Paid the price for it too."

"It takes a surprising amount of strength to do what you did and you know what? In a few days, a week, this will be over, and you'll see it wasn't the end of the world to take a chance. You put yourself out there, and it worked out okay even if it didn't go the way you maybe wanted it to."