All Comments on 'Fever Pitch'

she will be his whore whenever he wants her and her husband knows this or will!!

It feels incomplete. Not unfinished. Not that it needs an epilogue or a second chapter. There is just something missing in the story as written.

Well written and really dragged you into his mind set. I wonder what will happen?

I agree with another person's comments, in that it feels incomplete. A second part with the husband exposing his wife's infidelity would be good. Nevertheless I've given this five stars.

Better written and more subtle than most. He has already made up his mind. Just getting some free sex until the evidence emerges. Or not.

Their stories don't match up. And yet his behavior hasn't changed at all. He is still the same loving husband albeit with a more frequent and hard libido than before.

So this isn't any kind of revenge piece. This is a 'man am I aroused by a sand monkey boning my wife' story.

He was so gleeful at the uncertainty heretofore that one wonders why he had to seek certainty. He clearly wasn't outraged.

So I put this down to a 'we Brits aren't going to let a little thing like my wife boning other people to ruin a perfectly good business deal' kind of detached emotional aloofness.

I find the man more distasteful than I find the wife.

The only thing he will not brook is having a blatantly bastard baby. THAT is a line too far. Not her boning a Saudi twice for money.

Several comments have said the story feels "incomplete". Note that they don't say "unfinished". Readers are left to wonder what happens next to your characters. God forbid they have unanswered questions! "Leave them wanting more" is a better choice than actually giving it to them when a continuation manages to diminish the original.

I felt this to be a complete story in and of itself, so I would suggest you resist any temptation of doing a sequel unless there it contains a compelling story in its own right.

This certainly was well written & a good read. Just feel that there's more left to say & another chapter is required to bring it to a finish .... or perhaps she'll be "negotiating" all his deals from now on, so this could run & run.

Another option would be perhaps to have chapter two repeat the events of that night and the following day, but from Laura's point of view. From the description of how she prepared for the night, she had a fair idea of the events to "cum"

Voted 5 stars

He should have come clean in that moment...He had all the evidence he needed..why wait for the child? If the child isn't his, then it will be a lot more difficult to discuss and accept all the cheating...He must know that accepting the cheating will make him a pimp...I think some people will need a 2nd part to know what he will do: be a man or a pimp...She's a cheating whore for sure...she cheated and lied and never confess her sin to her husband...What is he?

His mind will not be at ease for the rest of his life... his child or not... if he does not ask questions he will be forever in the dark

if she has their clients child what a set of lawsuits, ditch the bitch she served her purpose whoring for money, now get a wife that loves you. To many women think with their cunt and cashregister.

that what I LIKED about this story, is that it was all in his mind.

No, I really don't get into the fantasy that he became obsessed with. My own self, would feel ANGER.....NOT arousal.

That said, I could suspend my disbief, and accept the cultural differences that somehow MIGHT allow this guy to be getting off on the mere uncertainity of it all. In a way, that part was quite well written, and passably believable, if you are that kind of guy.

However, what I MOST wanted, was the wife to be clever, and loving. What I MOST wanted, was despite the ambiguities, that she was innocent of any real wrongdoing. I guess I wanted the whole Walter Mitty thing that yes, this WAS all in his mind. For as easy as it would be to believe that she had done what he feared, and us actually understanding why he was in denial to resist finding out the truth, the swift conclusion would ultimately prove her innocence, AND business acumen, and she does EVERYTHING she can to prove her love and devotion for the next forseeable future. Then, all of his self-inflicted mind games remain...just that: self-inflicted.

But you had to show that she DID do it, and if that wasn't bad enough, she'll likely endup having a bastard child as a result. When that happens, he has no choice. She is no longer worthy of any reconcilliation. And worse still, HE is wrong for not getting to the bottom of this mystery any sooner. He can not manage to any moral outrage, while obviously mirered in some erotically charged fantasy that HE himself allowed to continue, somehow because it became or seemed to be a factor towards an "improved"(?) sex life??!?

No, you DON'T need a chapter 2. Because you already ruined this story before ending chapter one. There is no way you can make her NOT a cheater pregnant with another man's baby, so why even bother? Even if it IS his baby, she is STILL a cheater, and she has no remorse or regret for it. But even a chapter 2 explaining her remorse or regret can not recapture the (at first) skillful mind games, and struggles fueling his internal monlogue, that had been the original strength of this chapter one.

good luck!

Cash the check, get as much of your money hidden and than dump her lying cheating whore ass. She is a fucking sneak and he needs to call her on all of it , the dry razor , the time she came home, the double feature movier that she saw 6 hours of alone and she saw it already. How humiliating for him and than have face him again for payment with her probably carrying his kid , what a disgrace. Don't sugar coat it make her pay for her deceit because 99 out of 100 would not put up with that no matter how much they loved their spouse

What, you don't know how to end your own story?

Did she or didn't she, no evidence. To many seem to think she gave herself up. No proof yet. We need part 2 . The author is the only one to set this story straight.

That's the end of this story. The wife knew what happened, the prince knew, we the readers know. Just the husband is unsure. A continuation would describe the eventual confrontation but is it needed?

Intriguing story so far.

have a dna test done as soon as its born. if its not his then divorce her and make who ever the daddy is pay for the bastard. As far as I would be concerned I would possibly fuck her agin but it would be as ex sex. because i damn sure would not marry a bitch that would fuck others

A good story except I don't find a married woman getting pregnant by another man, erotic. If he dumps her, in all fairness, he will have to split the profit from the deal with her, since she appears to be the one who closed the deal one way or another.

that saw through this story. A cuckold in the making, getting turned on knowing his wife is being boned by another man. What evidence did he need? It was all there, but still he hesitates confronting his wife. Ah, the knowledge of her fucking around, is making his sex life so much better. Stop right there and think about that statement. Now he wants to wait. For what? Should he confront her or not. Of course he won't, the sex is to good, just visualizing his wife with another. Isn't that what willing cuckolds do? End of discussion. (ML)

4 months down the line there will be a DNA test followed by a little revenge. Yes?

No surprises as others have inferred, but still an enjoyable read.

If he hadn't been sick who knows how the evening would have gone. she would probably have worn the same outfit - the one hubby bought her for them to enjoy her sexuality.

No, she dressed naked and with the right outfit to get the buyer to do whatever he wanted and to just get the contract...maybe, she didn't go to all that trouble, get wined, dined, entertained and most likely aroused to just sign some papers and come back.

No, you kept leaving room for us to think he was worried about his wife being beautiful and sexy leading up to whatever BUT - her dressing up, un announced return, the buyer wanted only her the next day, she claims two movies (whatever 4-6 hours) and she is now shaved free at her crotch.

What concerns me is that one of two things will happen...

1) you won't write Chapter 2 and/or

2) he'll keep her with some stupid and idiotic excuse like - she got the contract or she stepped up when he needed help or some other lame excuse...

Hell, ship her off to Saudi with a one way ticket!!!!!!!!

He did nothing. He will continue to do nothing.

When the "client" wrote the check he should have given it to the wife and written for services rendered in the corner.

I am not interested in having this storyline continue.

You could write more. But there doesn't seem to be a reason for you to. You pretty much said that hubby was a cuckold and was willing to go along with it. For only being married for five years, having to come up with something to relight the fires of passion. Well... maybe there is something to write about. Some one needs to put a spine in the husbands back. Or not.

The client is no dummy. Wife leaves husband alone while he is in the midst of a sudden fever that makes him almost comatose? Wife comes to dinner alone, dressed for sex? Like this client really needs to bone the wife to close the deal. He can afford all the best pussy in the world. She was an easy lay so he took it. Knocked her up too? So what. Both husband and wife are whores, and care more about money than their marriage, or each other. End of story. A very boring story.

Set up the tension nicely. Now we need to see how this all plays out. Also, an insight into the wife's thinking would be great, how she could give herself so easily to him when they didnt need the $$$ that bad.

Looking forward to continued develpment of the story.

You absolutely have to tell this story from Laura's point of view. Too many holes in the story without that. Why would she dress up like she did if she wasn't going to fuck him, and then how could she do that totally out of the blue, without some prior motivation..

I agree with the others. Please write a sequel, maybe from her point of view. The three things that don't add up that would make a good continuation:

1. Confront her about the dry razor.

2. Confront her about the farce about playing roulette, when he only said dinner.

3. They had been trying for A YEAR to have a baby. Probably hubby was shooting blanks. He needs to get tested. Then, all of a sudden, she is knocked up!

Yes it would make for a very suspenseful and a dramatic sequel.

5 *'s

.....everything changed that night and since. Too many suspicious elements to ignore, too much unsaid. And it appears, she lies too easily.

Wait for the baby, then Get a DNA test. When it shows a mismatch, disappear.

Until then, squirrel as much away as you can.....to make a new start somewhere very, very far away. Leave no trail. A woman that will do that is no wife, no companion, no lover and no friend......just a £150,000 hooker that says, "I love you", but doesn't act much like it.......

What the fuck. The last anon said it all. He should actually get a name. Squirrel away the money, get a DNA test. Then react.

Well done. The anxiety is evident. A sequal to tie it up neatly would be nice. Thanks for the story.

does not become the client, TK U MLJ LV NV

The ambiguity is the beauty in this story. It causes us to think and not be lazy readers and be spoon fed. Reading is different from tele and film. It allows for words to replace images and requires work from the reader. The story was very erotic. Great wordsmithing. *****

Great story. It held my attention and flowed very well. I would like to see a continuation of this story.

I'd love to see her pov of the story

Yes absolutely - have to have the story from her point of view. Why would she get dressed up the way she did unless there was some existing relationship or at least some sort of inuendo that would cause her to do that.

You already know she fucked him all night and then all night the next day. What do you mean by suggestions?

As a tease you did remarkably well. There is plenty of tantalizing suggestion and innuendo throughout the story to keep the reader intrigued and guessing, but for me you over played it. As a story it needs to end here as any repeat of this theme would be like a trip to the dentist, you know it's going to hurt so just pull the damn tooth already. You can't continue the same thematic build up without some form of a climax (No pun intended).

Frankly I missed the sex. The speculation was all well and fine but it just left you. The pregnancy price was great but the missing element was the sex. Without the sex this is a tragedy piece and that's where it should stay... When the baby is born you can either visually confirm what you already know or have a paternity test and scientifically confirm what you know, but as a story, the arc has been written. The missing piece is only the pressures that allowed the wife to compromise her ethics and values. So either the Money was the driver which has been eluded too (but not a critical one) or she was emotionally compromised somehow (horny out of her mind, induced through alcohol or drugs, or the dollar signs with promises of more).

Bottom line nice storyline, would've like the sex.

Wonderful, intriguing story that played tricks with the narrator´s (husband´s) mind. Also, it was a great tease for the reader. This was a very unique story that was classy, understated and emotionally charged. The rich, young, attractive Saudi, with too much money on his hands, was the perfect man for the seduction for the architect´s wife.

On some level, consciously or unconsciously, she already knew ahead of time how she was going to “close” the deal. If not, she would not have dressed like that to go to a client dinner without her husband. The husband´s feverish state, while watching her dress, trying to recall the time the clock upon her return, his reading her phone text message and the supposed “double feature” movie were all deliciously erotic and just plausible enough to maintain suspense.

The Saudi shaving the wife was a gut punch, which I have felt when my wife has been shaved by one or another of her lovers. It is visual evidence of the female losing her innocence or at least losing her marriage vows. This is a very sexy for another male to mark his invasion of the husband´s territory.

Part of the genius of this piece is that it does leave the reader with a sense of incompletion. We will savor that sense of tantalizing frustration until the next chapter. I wish you the best of luck in maintaining the same level of suspense in the sequel.

So glad this very good story was not spoiled by moronic accounts of revenge!

I would love to see a part two to this story.

Great story

The one in the story is now living in a harem in Saudi Arabia and the guy narrating is richer than hell and single once again, because her cheating ass got sold.

Clearly the wife did everything it takes, and had a good time. The husband has his amplified fantasies, and he's caught her out in a lie, so no more wondering. I do appreciate stories where the husband doesn't kick the wife out like all the BTB crowd demands. Who cares what they want.

Keep her and love her.

You have clearly enjoyed the angst of not knowing, but the evidence is there. She wanted him by dressing for him the second day. She has made your sex life better and is carrying a child that you both desired.

You clearly are more than happy with the images your mind is portraying, otherwise you would have interrogated her earlier. You both have reached a silent understanding of what took place.

Looking forward to his son being born and his return to London. Will she close the deal on further contracts? Will you be ill again?

I think you do not need suggestions. Surprise us. And of course, ignore the nattering gobs who whine and complain about the wife's behavior, after drooling as they read it, having selected a story with the obvious tags indicating that was exactly what she was going to do. . .

My hunch is that 'cheating' will become habit for her, and she will do it closer and closer to home (more clients first, then colleagues, then friends) and he will know, and she will know that he knows, but they will never say it out loud.

Will be interesting to see the next time the Arab prince (and friends) are in town, and contact her for a entertaining evening. Obviously she is a top performing whore! She obviously enjoyed her multi hour sexcapade with the prince and proved she has fantastic stamana (sic) and dearly loves strange! This marriage won't last!!

You never finished part 2...5 months later would have been enough time, right

4-stars

The author should finish it, or someone with less talent might do it poorly.

A very interesting psychological torment piece. The protagonist is a cuckold in that he was willing to pimp his wife for money, if that's what it took.

If I was writing an end I would confront the wife with the lie. He could extract the truth by telling her that the buyer told him about them having sex. He could probably get at the truth that way. Then I'd give her the hundred tousand pounds, and kiss her goodbye.

Az olvasások során ettől az írótól csak kizárólag Wimp ,felszarvazott férjekről és slutti,kurva feleségekről tud írni!?Ez azt jelenti ,hogy szereti magát és gondolatait is ez irányba terelni!Hát ez szánalmas Rá nézve,undorító...!

Meh. Went nowhere. No confrontation, no catharsis, despite his dark and increasingly tedious rumination he says nothing. An uninteresting character, a plot consisting of merely likely suspicions with no real interaction between the players.

pretty nice story..

Another POS story!

one of your best.

Sequel?

Should have confronted her when he knew. Waiting while knowing the truth is really an acceptance that he is just a wimp cuck with a slut wife. Had potential but ended with a dud.

Bit late at this point, but I'd have done the chilli challenge as soon as I'd suspected anything.

Divorce now, with a clause DNA proof for child support.

A follow up would be good.

Either she is divorced or the Saudi wants her and child

CMC just like the writer of these little cook stories doesn't have any testicles that actually produce a measurable amount of testosterone thereby acting and carrying on like a little sissy bed a boy the entire time. I really find it hard to think what that kind of existence would be, since I don't let s*** like this happen to me, but to each their own.

Twisted tale not the least bit titillating.

Well written tale, but it’s not technically erotic is it?

Perfect!

Loved it, well written, but incomplete without a sequel.

Very good, the plot line is plausible, there must be many men reading stories on literotica who suspect a cheating wife, but have no proof, do you confront her and risk divorce or do you wait until it's beyond doubt

you are a cuckold and realise your marriage is truly over and then divorce. The suspicion eats you up, it taints every thing you do, your imagination runs riot, but no real proof. I haven't worked out how to proceed yet, but I have spoken to a lawyer......

As usual, clever, well written and thought provoking. I found myself getting angry with her.

Too clever to be able to write like that.

I would like an end though

Of course, if this client is the father, he will eventually demand his child return with him to his homeland. Then what?!

I love how it's written in such a way that we're made to think she's probably cheating, then yeah definitely cheating, but still allows for a plausible explanation that she has been faithful (although admittedly it would be hard to come up with a good reason as to why they have conflicting stories now). If this were a real scenario it's more than likely she cheated, although whether or not it was for selfish reason and not something like "I did it for us honey" well who really knows?