Fifth Anniversary Honeymoon Cruise Ch. 01

"Are you sure? Think of all those financial experts, those powerful bankers lusting over your nubile body. Wow, the contacts you could make, the networking you could do!"

"It's tempting, but I'll settle for you lusting over me - but maybe next year! The conference will be in Tahoe."

It was a nice, pleasant exchange and quickly disappeared into the back of their minds, but, unfortunately, things began going downhill. Mark was anything but an oblivious computer nerd who wasn't aware of the real world and he saw changes that disturbed him. One set of changes probably was inevitable, but still was noticeable. At the beginning, Julie spoke in almost reverential tones when she referred to Mr. Johnstone. The name should have glowed in the air as she said it. Soon the reverence disappeared and he was just Mr. Johnstone. Then, sometime later he was referred to, hesitantly, as Henry - sounding as if she were addressing an idol by his first time. Finally, that hesitancy and reverence vanished and he was just Henry but then a hint of intimacy, and perhaps, of affection, was noticeable.

This, in itself, might have meant nothing, triggered no alarm bells, seeming to be nothing but a normal transition from a mentor-protégé relationship to a more typical professional association. Actually, Mark was quite for grateful for Johnstone taking the time to ease Julie's way into her new administrative position. They met at the end of every day and he gave very constructive advice. It made her get home twenty minutes to a half-hour later, but it was well worth it. However, as time passed, it seemed from Julie's comments that the after-hours meetings were becoming more social than professional. Still, those meeting were brief with no lunch dates or anything else that might have triggered alarms.

Of far more significance and troubling were substantial changes in Julie's personality and behavior. The simple truth was that she did not handle having power well. One of her nicest qualities was the empathy she had for other people. In college she was almost always more intelligent and capable than others in her classes, but her natural tendency was to downplay differences and help others. She showed that same quality when dealing with colleagues at work. Now, as an administrator she became disparaging and deprecating if workers didn't measure up to her standards. She gradually changed from that light-hearted and unpretentious person who joked about her new importance to someone who was impressed with herself.

Mark watched the changes taking place in their personal relationship. She would be conversing about her job with her normal cheerful expression on her face and suddenly it would morph into a sharp, intolerant grimace as she mentioned specific workers. Of course, administrators are supposed to supervise and be demanding of subordinates, but the old Julie would not have been so demeaning or act so superior.

Worse, this superior attitude and increasing self-importance began to show up at home. She began to be augmentative and expecting everything to suit her. Mark had enjoyed keeping the place in order and doing things like preparing dinner. He did so because he enjoyed doing it for her and she was always very appreciative. Slowly, she came to expect these things to be done as a duty, not a gesture of affection.

One night in mid-June he was still on the computer when she came in, found dinner not started and, without thinking, she blurted out, "You're still on that blasted computer and nothing started for dinner! I'm tired and hungry, damn it!" Too many nights had gone without sincere appreciation for his efforts or even a token thank you. He had had enough!

Standing rigidly before her, he didn't say a word. He stared intently into her eyes with a set, stone-like expression on his face, not moving a muscle. His eyes bored intimidatingly into hers, not even blinking. She stared back imperiously until, abruptly, the impact of what she had said hit her. She blushed, her haughty expression vanished and she dropped her head.

"Oh my god, Mark, I'm sorry! I don't know what made me act like that or say something like that! I...I'm so sorry!"

"Sorry isn't enough! You've turned into an egotistical bitch and I've had enough of it! Your 'mentor' isn't God, you are not a queen and I'm your husband, not your subject! You may be a big shot downtown, but around here you are just becoming a pain in the ass! People at work may have to accept your arrogant and condescending attitude, but I damn sure don't!"

Mark and Julie had had many arguments in the past but never had she received a personal attack like this one. She was devastated and burst into tears as she was forced to face up to her behavior. Her first reaction was to defend herself and against anyone else she might have attempted to do so, but looking at Mark and hearing the disgust in his voice, she was forced to recognize the truth - a little power had gone to her head and she had acted abominably. She burst into tears, a rarity for her, and abjectly apologized.

"Mark, darling, I am so very sorry! I had no idea that I was acting that way! I guess that everything just went to my head - being complimented by my boss, calling him Henry, having people addressing me respectfully as Mrs. Schafer rather than just Julie. I just got too full of myself and it carried on here at home. I'm ashamed and embarrassed and I'm glad that you punctured my balloon. I've got to show a little more humility at work too, for I don't like remembering how imperious I've been there. Anyway, please forgive me, I really am sorry!"

"All right, if my wife, no longer a queen, can lower herself to the mundane act of ordering some pizza, I'll see about making a salad and we can put this behind us - but I have a pin to do some more puncturing if it's needed!"

Julie had been genuinely shocked by being forced to realize just how unacceptably she had been acting and she made a real effort to leave her office persona at the office and act as a wife and partner at home. Even at work she pulled back and let her true personality come through and it seemed that there was a good future there as well as in her personal life. Real damage had been diverted and life returned to normal.

The next crisis came a few weeks later when Julie nervously looked up at Mark and hesitantly said, "Honey, I want to stay on the pill for a while longer." Seeing his shocked and questioning look, she hurried onward. "We had planned for us to start a family on our fifth year honeymoon cruise or shortly afterwards but I think that we should postpone it for six months or a year. I still want to get pregnant, of course, but not now! I just started my new job and my career is taking off and I just don't want to be pregnant and forced to take maternity leave until I'm fully established! Are you ok with that?"

Mark was not ok with that, but he really had no option. "I guess I'll have to go along with that but I don't like it. We are 27 now and we thought that that age was a good time to start having children. We planned to be fixed financially and professionally by then and we met our goal. One more year probably won't really change much, but we don't want to get into a situation where merging career and family becomes a battle. It's always a problem for career women as to when the career is on hold while motherhood interferes. When has to be a joint decision, but ultimately, it's your body. All right, stay on the pill this year and I hope that this is the only postponement!"

This was a disappointment, particularly since they had both had been looking forward to a baby coming soon. Mark accepted Julie's reasoning but he was all too aware that her promotion wasn't as advantageous as they had thought. Still, she was happy and he could overlook these occasional problems.

Then, in early July, everything fell apart. She was working at her desk when Johnstone stopped in and said, with a smile, "Come on Julie, we have a meeting with the senior vice president of our division of the company, Mr. James Devon!"

"What on earth is that about, Henry? I've never met the man. What's up?"

"Nothing bad. Actually, it's a big step for you."

He wouldn't say anything else, but his comment eased her tension as she followed him into the elevator and rode up to the lofty top executive floor. Ushered into his office she was awed by the corner office windows looking out over the city. At the same time she was intimidated by the powerful figure of the vice president as he stepped out from behind his desk to greet her. Actually, he wasn't physically intimidating - he was actually was thin and about her height - but he represented wealth and power.

However, he quickly put her at ease, saying, "Mrs. Schafer - may I call you Julie? - I'm glad to meet you. Henry here has been very impressed with your progress and your potential to rise in our organization. The board was meeting last week and each of our vice presidents was asked to put forth the name of one member of their staff who would best to represent our bank at that cruise conference next month. What we wanted was a young, vital and personable delegate to show our commitment to future growth. Of the people put forward, you clearly stood out for the progress you have made and, speaking frankly, finding that you were female was a bonus. We need more women in our top tier and I expect you to be there soon!

"Anyway, I am very pleased to say that the board was unanimous in choosing you as a delegate and I am certain that you will do us proud. Even better, instead of sending you to some fancy resort, you will have a seven day cruise to enjoy on the Explorer of the Seas!"

Julie's mind was completely in turmoil! At one time she was being showered with praise by a top official of the bank, flattered by his obvious expectation of future promotions, yet, at the same time, major difficulties loomed because of the obvious conflict with her personal plans. Still, overawed by the surroundings, the senior vice president himself and a very rosy future, she put her qualms aside and profusely thanked him for the opportunity and his support.

She was still in a daze as they went back to Henry's office when reality hit. "My god, Henry, what am I going to do? I told you about my anniversary cruise that conflicts with this! I already have vacation time scheduled! Why did you put my name in? What am I going to do?"

"They sent the request for names down and I had no one else that would even be possible. You're clearly the best in my division. We hadn't even talked about your own cruise when I nominated you and, in any case, I never thought that they would choose you. Regardless of what the vice president said, I wouldn't have expected them to choose a woman, particularly one as young and pretty as you!"

"Ok, I guess I can't blame you, but what can I do? Should I send a letter declining the honor or do it in person?"

"I'm afraid it isn't that easy. You've been selected for an assignment by the full board and confirmed personally by the senior vice president. If you turn this down, you have no future here. It's a prestige assignment and rejecting it will embarrass Mr. Devon and that's suicide."

"I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know how I can present this to Mark - we planned this cruise before we were married and it's been a goal since then. Well, I guess I'll just have to go home, face Mark and describe an honor that I don't want and can't refuse and see if I come out alive." She quickly reached over and kissed Henry on the cheek and received a firm hug from him as she left. That certainly was not the way Johnstone left his other employees, but it had become an innocent, for Julie, custom after the "mentoring" sessions.

Julie had absolutely no recollection of her trip home - seen no landmarks, no traffic and no crowds. Her mind was consumed with forbidding thoughts of a crucial confrontation that she knew was awaiting her when she faced Mark. It was a perfect example of a no win situation for her. On the one hand was a long planned and desired cruise that they had pledged to each other almost five years ago, a pledge reconfirmed by their recent actions and words. It was more than a simple cruise; it was a commitment they made to each other as they married. Mark was sure to see it that way.

On the other hand, she had a career that had just begun to flourish. Top officials up to the senior vice president had praised her and made clear that the door was open for her to move toward her long-time dream of success in the male dominated banking and finance field. She had taken to heart Henry's warning that rejecting this assignment would almost certainly end that goal, at least at her present position. In a way, she felt like a traitor to Mark and their marriage when she admitted to herself that she wanted her career at almost any cost. The confrontation was not going to be fun!

It was just as bad as she had feared. She waited until they had eaten and settled down to relax afterwards. She then proceeded to ruin a peaceful evening by saying, "Mark, honey, I, no we, have a major problem." That got his immediate attention and the bad vibes started. She gave a detailed account of her meeting with the senior vice president of their division, stressing his complimentary comments about her and her future with the bank. Then, with no other option she threw the bombshell about her assignment on the cruise conference.

Before she could continue, Mark jumped in with, "Wait a minute! That damn cruise is at the same times as ours - at least it overlaps it! Look, it gets back on August 24, the same day we are scheduled to leave. Did you tell your senior vice president that you already have plans for that time? Somebody else can handle their cruise because you already have scheduled vacation time for a very important occasion! We damn sure are not giving up our fifth anniversary honeymoon cruise for some phony conference which is nothing more than a tax deduction gimmick!"

"It's not that simple, dear. I was flustered and overwhelmed by everything and I just wasn't thinking clearly and I was intimidated by the vice president, his office and, well, everything. When we got back to Henry's office and calmed down, I planned to write a letter explaining the situation and withdrawing from the assignment. Before I could even start, Henry gave me some very bad news. If I rejected what the vice president and board offered, my chance of promotion and a career were finished! I'm stuck!"

"Do you mean that you are actually considering dumping our honeymoon cruise - which we have planned on for almost five years, have paid over $12,000 for, and during which we originally thought we might start a family - because it would upset the big boss and his buddies? Is your agreeing to go on that cruise so important to them that they would petulantly ignore your obvious ability and end your career? This is beyond belief!"

Julie was on the edge of tears. "Mark, I don't know if they would react that way but Henry, who has supported me all along, is positive that they would. I'm not that important to them and I hate to risk my future on their good will. All we would be doing is postponing our honeymoon and, maybe, baby making cruise for a little while longer. Everything else would be the same."

The discussion - argument - went on from there as each dug into their position. Logic was on Julie's side, in a way. It would just be putting off their pleasure just as they had postponed their honeymoon five years ago. She felt guilty about not declining the assignment when it was made, but it was too late now. When Mark asked about who would be accompanying her on that cruise, she had to admit that she never had asked and just didn't know. She promised to find out and get some details about that and the role she would be playing.

Mark recognized the importance of her career path, of course, but found it impossible to believe that any rational businessman wouldn't understand and accept that a valuable employee - and they did seem to see her that way - could have a prior commitment more important than in attending a cruise conference on such short notice. The only reason to believe otherwise was Henry's warning. Shouldn't she, at least, check that advice with other experienced officers? It just didn't sound right.

The issue of rationality was not, however, Mark's main objection. To him it was a matter of principle. He believed that the fifth anniversary honeymoon had become an integral part of their marriage and their relationship and that it should have priority over whatever minor role she would play at the conference. He saw their plans were being carelessly brushed aside for nothing and he deeply begrudged Julie's agreeing to it. In addition, despite things having largely returned to normal, there was still a residual resentment about their recent confrontation over her arrogant attitude and the comments she had made. In addition, the decision to postpone starting a family was still fresh in his mind. That "final straw that broke the camel's back" - well, this was it!

Unfortunately, this was not a situation where compromise was possible. Either she went on the conference cruise or she didn't. Each saw and, to a degree, was sympathetic with, the other's point of view, but he was intransigent on one side, she equally stubborn on the other. Both, privately, felt a bit of guilt because of the other's pain, but, again, there was no compromise position. It was a very quiet night once the raging and screaming was over, but the tension in the house made an explosion seem inevitable.

When Julie arrived at work the next day, her face was drawn and she appeared to be on the verge of tears. She entered Henry's office and, as the door closed behind her, he enveloped her in his arm, giving her a tight hug as those tears finally burst forth. That was the first time that they had hugged during the work day and he followed up with calming and supporting words. His soothing voice reassured her and, when tears subsided and she looked up at him with gratitude, he kissed her.

This was not the kiss they had begun to exchange when they said goodbye. This was close to the kiss that lovers would share and, after a brief hesitation, she returned it. The anger, pain and fear of the future which had crowded her mind since last night receded in that romantic embrace. When they broke away, she was able to describe the confrontation of last night with, of course, Henry offering his sympathy and encouragement. He stressed Mark's over reaction and his lack of understanding of Julie's needs, implicitly comparing that reaction with his own unquestioned support for her career.

By the time Julie had fixed her eyes and makeup and indulged in another pleasantly guilty hug and kiss, her spirits - and her affection for Henry - had been raised. Mark's negative views seemed much less important to her. That was reinforced that evening as she prepared to go home. The embrace and kiss was a repeat of the morning as soon as she entered the room, not only when she said goodbye. She participated fully without stint. As she drove home her mind was cluttered by mixed emotions, making it hard to concentrate.

First and foremost was the fact that Mark had been the only man she had really kissed since her senior year in high school. Oh, she had exchanged pro forma hello and goodbye kisses with friends and relatives and had even given those friendly and innocent kisses to Henry in gratitude for his help and support. Today's kisses were not innocent, not kisses a married woman gives to another man! Julie felt a warm feeling of pleasure and excitement course through her as she remembered Henry's arms around her and her lips on his, but diminishing that pleasure was a surge of guilt - she had cheated on Mark even if they were only kisses.