Finding Home Pt. 17-18

"I want you to know that I now have three majors: Classics, French, and Andrew David DeGroat. I plan on getting a doctorate in my man. So, we will be going downstairs, and you will sing to me, and you will tell me about every damn trophy that's yours in that room."

"Has anyone ever told you how bossy you are?" he said grinning at her.

"A well-loved woman knows her mind. And, thanks to you, I'm not afraid to speak my mind from time to time."

He stepped to her and kissed her deeply. He felt her moan in his mouth.

"I'm so hot for you right now," she whispered.

"Good," he replied. "My plan is working."

As he reached for her ass, he immediately discovered she was not wearing anything under the sweater. He picked her up, and moved her to the wall. She looked at him with surprise in her eyes.

"Lift the sweater over your head," he growled.

She did as he asked, and he was rewarded with a view of her luscious body.

"Damn lady, you are fine as hell," he said appreciatively.

In one swift move, he removed his pants and stepped out of them. He stripped his shirt off, and moved to her. Grabbing her behind her legs, he raised her up, and she gripped his manhood. He lowered her onto his erection, and found himself firmly sheathed in her warmth.

Sara leaned back against the wall as Andy slowly began fucking her. She raised her arms back over her head, and he sucked her offered nipple. She leaned forward and whispered in his ear, "No way anyone but my man could take me this way. My big, strong, beautiful man can take his woman against the wall. Do it, baby. Take me."

Their evening-long foreplay meant that sooner than expected, their orgasms overtook them. Andy held her there until her legs stopped quivering, and then lovingly carried her into the bathroom. He carefully sat her down on the sink and kissed her before removing his length from her. He got a washcloth and gently washed her off, before doing the same for himself.

"Let me throw some pants on, and we can begin your Andy tutorial," he said grinning to her. "But one thing we need to get straight, Mrs. DeGroat," he paused. "We sing together from now on. You sing beautifully, and I love singing with you."

"Hmm. If that's what you want. But baby, there's no way I can handle Chris Stapleton like you do," she said smiling at him.

"OK, we'll go 50/50. Our kids need to know how much their mother kicks ass -- in like everything. No way you keep this from them -- or from me."

______________________________________________________

5 minutes later, they were in the trophy room in the basement. "Where do you want to start?" he asked. "We could go chronological, or just make our way around this part of the room, I guess."

"Which one are you most proud of?" she asked. "And baby, I know that's not how you think -- but I'm just curious to see which one you value the most."

Andy thought for a moment before looking at her with dead earnestness. "Well, if you were telling me the truth when you said that I won you, the ring on your finger is the award I'm most proud of. I know you're not an object to be won, but an extraordinary woman has agreed to be my wife. So, winning you is my greatest accomplishment."

She looked at him with a mixture of amazement and love, utterly unable to find words. Finally, she spoke.

"Thank you, baby. You are so incredibly sweet to me. Andy, you show me that every damn day. I hope you know I don't take that for granted."

He grinned at her, and then led her to the first of four varsity letters he received in hockey. "This one is second place. I set a goal for myself. Nobody thought a freshman could skate with the varsity, let alone letter. I lettered, and was voted an alternate captain. That was probably my favorite year of playing hockey -- personally. After that, the team came first. When you're a freshman, people are just freaking out that you can contribute. There was zero pressure on me that year except the pressure I put on myself -- well and John Moses," he grinned.

She considered him carefully, "So it's not the Navy Cross?"

He paused, then answered. "No. You win the Cross. You earn a varsity letter. You earn the respect of your teammates, and they vote you a captain. There's politics involved with these types of commendations. I know Uncle Hank means well, but there is a part of me that will always wonder if that commendation isn't just my great uncle flexing on my behalf."

"Andy, I'd really like to hear about that day. Jane explained to me at dinner that the commendation letter will be read at the banquet. It will go into detail about what you did. Selfishly, I really want to hear about that from you -- not from someone else reading it in a room full of people."

"Bellissima, I want to tell you," he paused. "I just can't associate that day with anything other than Romeo being killed. I guess that's the second thing I need to talk with Dr. Nebeker about."

She went to him and kissed him. "I love you."

He nodded.

"Baby let's sit down. I would love to hear about the first thing you need to talk with your," she paused, "What would you like me to call her?"

"Well, she's my therapist, I guess," he confessed.

"Let's sit down and would you please tell me what the first thing is?" she asked sweetly.

"Absolutely my love."

They sat on the floor in front of the leather love seat. Sara scooted her back to Andy's chest, and he held her there.

"Better?" he asked.

"Much. To tell you the truth, I think I could go a stretch without us making love, but there's no way I could give this up. I love being close to you. You holding me at night is my absolute favorite."

He kissed her head. "OK, so I've realized I have this need to announce my presence with authority in pretty much any new situation. Hell, I basically steamrolled you and Eden when I moved in. Our engagement weekend was a pretty major flex on my part. I'd like to know why I do that -- and then not do that anymore."

Sara giggled. "I'm sorry baby; but I love the way you steamrolled me. I know you'd get no complaints from Eden, either."

Andy chuckled.

"You should talk to your sisters about this. They warned me about that -- I mean that you do that," she said cautiously.

"Really?"

She nodded her head. "Ellen even has a theory about why you do it."

"Well, I'd love to hear it -- if you're not betraying your future sister-in-law's trust -- that is."

"You've had three times in your life -- formative times -- where people you loved or cared about were suddenly taken from you," she began. "Your parents when you were a boy, Anna Chang when you were a teenager, and Romeo as a young man. You get into a new situation and immediately go on the offensive. Ellen thinks it's a defense mechanism. If you provide the chaos, then it's a way to guard yourself from other things happening."

She felt him tense up, and then heard him mutter, "Fuck me."

Sara giggled. "I just did, and it was wonderful. If you need another go, you know I'm your Huckleberry." She turned to him and saw the forlorn look on his face.

"Baby, I'm sorry if I said too much," she said lovingly.

"No . . . I just never thought about it that way. It makes sense," he paused. "So how in the hell do I not do that anymore?"

"Hmm. Well, Jessica and Grandma Helen tell me you're already doing two things you need to do."

He looked at her confusedly.

She kissed his nose. "You're finally allowing yourself to mourn; and you've pursued me without any sense of holding back to protect yourself. I don't know if there's more; but I assured them you've held nothing back in your wooing of me. By the way, it's why Jess didn't get upset when you put my name in the third verse of 'Isn't She Lovely.' She knew that was a huge step for you."

"Baby, that's one of the ways you've shown me how much you love me. You don't just desire me -- though I know you do," she giggled. "You value me. You're working on your shit so that we can have a life together. I can't begin to tell you what that means to me. Andy, I feel so safe and loved by you -- I wish you could see that too."

"Thank you," he whispered. "I hope you see how wonderful you really are, Sara. I'll wade through whatever mountain of shit I must to be the husband you deserve."

"I know you will. That's one of the bazillion reasons I love you," she smiled.

"Have you ever tried to find Anna Chang?" she asked.

He looked at her with a shocked expression. "No."

"You might want to," she said earnestly. "I know how surprised you were when you realized you needed closure with Heather. Maybe you need the same thing with Anna?"

"Damn. You are one amazingly smart woman," he chuckled.

"I'm your amazingly smart woman," she giggled.

She settled back into his chest. She breathed deeply, and relished the warmth and love and security she felt against his body. They sat this way for a while, just content to be together.

"You ready to sing?" he asked.

"I am if you are. What do you have in mind?"

"Christopher found this cover. For obvious reasons, Ellen and I singing it would be a no-go. I'm sure he and Ellen sing it together, however," he grinned.

They sat up on the couch, Andy grabbed his guitar, and pulled up the song on his iPad.

Sara smiled when she saw the title, and then giggled when his words hit home with her. He played the cover for her, and she nodded as she listened with him.

"Ready?" he asked. She nodded.

Andy began playing, and then started,

We got the afternoon

You got this room for two

One thing I've left to do

Discover me

Discovering you

Sara entered on the second verse,

One mile to every inch of

Your skin like porcelain

One pair of candy lips and

Your bubblegum tongue

Andy joined her as they sang the chorus together,

And if you want love

We'll make it

Swim in a deep sea

Of blankets

Take all your big plans

And break 'em

This is bound to be a while

Your body is a wonderland

Your body is a wonderland (I'll use my hands)

Your body is a wonderland

Sara soulfully sang the second verse, smiling as she sang.

Something 'bout the way your hair falls in your face

I love the shape you take when crawling towards the pillowcase

You tell me where to go and

Though I might leave to find it

All too soon, this song was over as well. Sara found herself smiling uncontrollably as a thought occurred to her. She giggled.

"Baby, you sing with me like we make love."

"What?" he chuckled.

"You're lovingly pulling something out of me. I could never sing so well by myself, but you lead me to this special place, and in the end, we've done this beautiful thing. The really amazing thing is that I find myself wanting to give myself to you when we do these things. Andy, I have no fear of going wherever you want us to go," she said smiling.

He smiled back at her. "Well, right now, I want to go to bed with my love. I'm tired, and I really want to go to Mass with you in the morning."

__________________________________________________________

Five minutes later, Sara snuggled into Andy's arms, and they fell asleep knowing that something of great worth had passed between them, and they had laid hold of it. Normally, passionate sex would cap off their evening. Not tonight.

Neither of them had an inkling at how much grace and effort it would take on their part to keep hold of that thing. Sadly, they would soon find out.

Sunday

About 2 AM, Andy woke up. It was not a startling thing -- he knew no one was trying to kill him -- but his thoughts were stormy and conflicted nonetheless. Sara was snuggled up against him, and he was powerfully aware of feeling her body next to him. He smiled as he considered the paradox that was sleeping with a beautiful, athletic woman. She was both wonderfully soft and yet quite firm. He moved his right hand slightly, and was rewarded with the feel of her breast under his old Groton t-shirt. He inhaled deeply, drinking in her smell. He gently moved his hand, and rolled onto his back. He gave himself to his thoughts, and was startled when Sara rolled over, put her head on his chest, and laid her arm across him.

"Are you OK, baby?" she asked softly.

He kissed her head. "I am. I'm sorry if I woke you."

She lifted her head to look at him. "People trying to kill you?"

Andy saw the love and concern on her face in the moonlight.

"No," he smiled at her reassuringly. "You just gave me a lot to think about tonight, I'm afraid."

"Mmm. Would you like me distract you?" she grinned.

"The most beautiful woman I've ever seen is in my bed, wearing one of my old t-shirts, with an engagement ring on her finger. You distract me all the time, Bellissima."

She giggled. "You are so sweet to me, baby." She paused. "What's got you up, then?"

"I'm struggling with the notion that my grandmother and sisters have me pegged so well, I guess."

"Andy, I'm not the only ridiculously bright woman who loves you and studies you. I may be majoring in Andy DeGroat, but Miss Helen and your sisters have their Ph.D.'s in this subject."

"Hmm." He paused, and then continued. "Sara, I'm worried about reaching out to Anna Chang. 'High School Andy' really liked her, and I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought about her from time to time. I want the closure, but part of me is worried this might be a bad idea."

"Do you still have feelings for her?"

"I don't know, and I don't want to find out. I know I did. I know I love you, and I won't do anything to compromise that. I saw too many guys reconnect to old flames, and then it turned into something that it shouldn't have. I love our life, Bellissima. No way I jeopardize that."

"So maybe we do this together?"

"That seems really unfair to you," he said thoughtfully.

Sara sat up, and leaned down to kiss him. "Did you go on missions by yourself?"

He smiled, "No. Romeo was always there. We were a team -- a damn good team -- I might add."

She smiled back at him. "Well, please consider me your Romeo, then."

He laughed. "Sara, I never wanted to make love to Romeo. I loved him, to be sure -- but this is way different. Besides, being my Romeo is a rather hazardous occupation."

"And I'm going to be your wife; your partner, Andy. We handle our shit together. Or, were you just bullshitting me when you asked me to marry you?"

He saw the fire in her brown eyes.

"No. You're right. I'm sorry."

"Yes, I am -- and you're forgiven. Andy, you've helped me so much. I have this amazing life. You've given me that. But baby, we have to move forward together. My birth father has nothing to do with you -- really -- but you love me and you're helping me move towards dealing with that. Please let me do the same."

"I will. Thank you," he said softly.

She moved towards his face. "Baby, it's OK for you to need me. It doesn't mean you're less of a man, or that you're weak. We all need people. I need you so bad it scares me. It would help me immensely if I knew you needed me too."

He looked at her, stunned. "Sara, I do need you."

"Well, don't forget it then," she giggled.

"I won't. I just struggle with how unfair this feels -- to you, I mean."

"Andrew David -- stop this bullshit! Seriously. I don't really understand how deep the shit with my dad goes, but like I told you earlier; I'll go wherever you want to go. I feel safe with you. You love me and want the best for me. Why can't you see that I want the same for you?"

"Because I keep thinking you're going to wise up and realize you can do so much better than me," he said angrily. "God, Sara; you're incredible! You're smart and funny and kind and just fucking awesome. I'm a fucked-up veteran who could barely get out of bed six weeks ago."

She put her hands on his face and kissed him. "No. No, you are not," she said with a kindness that could not hide the firmness in her voice. "That might be who you were -- but not anymore. You're my thoughtful, kind, beautiful man. A strong woman like me does not invite fucked-up veterans into her bed. Andy, your family is stupid wealthy -- but you've never once treated me like a charity case. Don't you dare think that my love for you is some sort of charity case. You're not that stupid, my love," she said with tears in her eyes.

He wiped the tears from her face while he considered his next words. "I'm sorry, Sara. I do need you, and I suck at showing that sometimes. I love you, and you're right."

"Baby, we will get through all this shit -- together. Then, there will be more shit, and we'll deal with that the same way -- together. We need each other. I love what you told me once: you could live without me, but you don't want to. Andy, I feel the same way. You believe in me, and you've reintroduced me to myself. Please -- baby -- please let me do the same thing."

"I will," he said softly.

"Damn right you will," she said. "Andy, we're so good together. Our singing together is just one of a million examples of that."

He kissed her. "Marry me," he said forcefully.

"Absolutely," she giggled. "A thousand times, yes. But this Lone Ranger shit has to end. You feel me Dreamy?"

"Yes, ma'am," he grinned.

"Dammit," she mumbled. "You're so damn beautiful. When you smile at me, it makes me all gooey," she admitted.

"That's a bad thing?"

"No. But Andy, you're not the only one who gets distracted. You are a damn fine man."

"Nope. I'm your damn fine man," he smiled. They kissed passionately.

"Dance with me?" he asked.

"Baby, you've got me really hot here. Are you sure that's all you want to do?"

"Think of it as foreplay."

She giggled. "Andy, our whole life feels like foreplay."

"Good. I'm not the only one who feels that way."

"You have a song in mind?"

"I do. As always, you inspired it."

She got up, and Andy followed her. He grabbed his phone, and found the song he was looking for. As the music began, she put her arms around his neck and nuzzled against him. Etta James' A Sunday Kind of Love played softly.

"Damn baby. This feels so right. I love the way you hold me."

"Well, you're pretty holdable," he grinned.

"That was cheesy -- even for you," she giggled. He kissed her softly.

"Mmm. Andy, I know needing someone again scares you," she said gently.

He looked into her eyes, and nodded.

"I can't imagine how much it does. I mean, at every stage of your life, you've lost someone you love. But baby, I'm not going anywhere. You're stuck with me," she said lovingly.

"Well, it's a good thing I'm madly in love with you. I love being stuck with you." He paused, "But you're right, it does scare me. Plus, I guess I really don't like the thought of being so damn needy."

"You're not. You're ridiculously low maintenance; but you are human. We all need the people we love," she said.

The music had stopped, but they continued to hold one another.

And it don't matter to me/wherever we are is where I wanna be. He sang softly.

"Damn right. That's all I think I need, Andy. I just need my man," she said.

"Miss Jones-Easley, would be so kind as to make love with me?" he asked.

She giggled. "Funny, I was just about to ask you the same thing -- well, actually -- I was going to tell you that you needed to make love to me."

Sara broke their embrace and took his hand to lead him to the bed. She kissed him, and slid his sleep shorts off him. Looking him in the face, she removed her t-shirt, and slipped her panties off.

"Damn," he muttered. "You are stunningly beautiful."

She kissed him. "On top. I need you on top of me," she whispered. "I need you to long stroke me until you fill me. Take your time, please. Your woman needs a good, long fucking."