Finding Mr. Wright Ch. 07

"Sexual Agency is about being able to define your sexuality by the decisions you yourself make, and not by the perceptions, expectations, or opinions of others."--Miya Yamanouchi

CHAPTER 07

The next morning, I awoke early to a phone call from my friend Brittany. She was concerned about my call the night before. After reassuring her that everything was fine, she accepted that, though I don't think she fully believed me. I'd have to tell her more another time, but so far, I just wanted to lay in bed and relax and go over the events of last night.

I still felt the same, so that was good. I wasn't as fully smitten by Aaron as I was before last night, especially with his revelation that he was engaged. I also didn't know what to think or how to feel about having to share him with his wife. On one hand, that sounded horrible. On the other, this was a new and unique experience. And let's face it, I thought, some unbridled, wild sex might do me some good. Especially since I've never had anything like that before. I laughed a little to myself at that.

I spent the rest of the day just relaxing, pondering over everything. By the afternoon, I was back to thinking about normal things again, trying to put everything out of my mind. I figured on giving it a few days and seeing if my thoughts or feelings changed at all.

Rather than just a few days, a week went by. Over that week, my thoughts turned often to Aaron and to the experiences I had at the Society meeting. Brooke actually called two days later and we made plans to meet this Saturday night to discuss the Society and for her to answer any questions I might have. I tried not to think about it too much, but I was really looking forward to talking to her. She could help me immensely in my attempts to understand what she was going through and why she did what she did, or what she got out of it.

I spent the next few days tending to my personal affairs. I was enjoying my time off, but realized I had to get back to work eventually, so that started creeping back into my thoughts. I also decided that I would stay in our home, purchasing Jonathan's interest from him, and he agreed. I had just put too much into my home to just give it up for an apartment. It also gave me a sense of being grounded, that something like my home was at least all mine, and it provided a strong sense of security for me.

Eventually, Saturday evening finally arrived and I prepared for Brooke. Rather than meet somewhere for dinner or drinks or even coffee, I volunteered my place. She said she would come by around 8:00 pm, and she ended up coming by a little early. I liked that. Most women her age were notorious for being late, so she was the exception. I wore a simple, relaxing outfit consisting of capris pants and a light blouse, not wanting to dress too formal or too casual.

When Brooke arrived, she was wearing tight, fitted dark blue jeans and long sleeve black sweater shirt, open in the front and hanging to her thighs, over a white tube top. What really dressed up the outfit was that she wasn't wearing casual shoes or even boots. She was wearing black, dressy two--and--a--half inch high-heels. Her attire was actually very nice and classy. I don't know what I was expecting, but it was actually very refreshing. She greeted me with a friendly hug, and I invited her in. I fixed us both some iced tea and we sat together on the couch, facing each together. She curled her legs up under her. We talked for a few minutes about traffic and the weather, typical small talk to break the ice. Not wanting to just dive right into the deep and sexual topics right away, I decided to keep it easy and let her open up to whatever she was comfortable with. "So tell me about yourself," I asked.

"Ok," she shrugged. "I grew up in Florida, in the panhandle, near Pensacola. My parents divorced just as I graduated high school, and I had grown sick of life on the beach, believe it or not. It made it easy for me to move here and go to college. I got a degree in marketing but actually work now in the human resources department of a local medical management company. It's not the most glamorous job, but I like it as I get to help a lot of people.

"As for relationships, I dated in college and was engaged to a guy for a few years after college before we married. He was one of those tough, bad boy types that really got me weak in the knees. That attitude is great when you are in school and running around with your college friends, but it didn't transition well after college. His drinking started to get out of control and his job suffered. He turned to harder and harder drugs and got arrested a few times. His family and I tried and tried to get him help but he spiraled out of control. The day he came home and beat me up, that was it. I packed up and left and never looked back. I've dated a few guys since but nothing serious."

She said everything with a kind of matter-of-fact approach, but when she spoke about her ex, I could tell it was tough for her. "That's horrible, but it could have been much worse." I reached out and touched her hand instinctively in sympathy. "I've had a few friends that stuck with their spouses much longer, and they ended up in the hospital."

"That *is* horrible," she stated, but she snapped out of her own thoughts and continued. "That's all my boring life on the surface, though. It's what's behind the scenes that keeps me going through all the day to day stuff. I had a group of friends in college that were pretty wild. You've seen all those 'Girls Gone Wild' videos and things like that? I'm sure they were in more than a few of them. Anyway, I wasn't that bad, but I did some wild things at a few parties, things like with multiple men and women. I got away from all of that when I started dating my ex-husband.

"After I left him and we divorced, one of those friends who I had kept in contact with called me and invited me out. To make a long story short, she was already into the local BDSM scene and got me into it as well. It was wild and thrilling, and I got sucked in totally. I went with her to a few local parties and met a few dominant guys. I had relationships with several of them, but not really anything long term. Some were good, but a one was a guy that was just into hurting women. That scared me away for a while.

"I stopped dating guys that I met in BDSM clubs, getting sick of the low-class men and women that I met in that scene. I started looking online and it wasn't long before V contacted me. I met him and he invited me to attend a Society function at the estate. That was about four years ago."

I sat there listening to her story with a little bit of envy. I had led a boring life compared to hers. I wish I had been more adventurous in college. Maybe that would have led me to better decisions later, like with Jonathan. At least Jonathan wasn't physically abusive. I don't know how I would have handled that. As I was thinking about all of that and going over in my mind what she had said, she asked me, "So what about you?"

"Me?"

"Yeah, you. Tell me about you."

"Well, nothing as wild and interesting as yours. I grew up around here and I'm from a fairly conservative and religious family. I led a pretty sheltered life, going to all-girls schools through high school. I had one boyfriend in late high school, but we broke up before college. I dated in college but didn't have any steady boyfriends. I didn't join a sorority or go to any wild parties, certainly nothing like you or your friends. I was a book worm and a nerd I guess. A lot of people called me stuck up, but I was really just quiet and introverted.

"I came out of my shell a bit when I went to law school. Law school has a way of making you do that whether you want to or not. Very cutthroat. Anyway, that's where I met my husband. He was a year ahead of me in school, but 10 years older than me. He was very much a gentleman and I fell for him very hard.

"We married a few months after I passed the bar exam. We both worked for law firms and poured ourselves into our careers. You can imagine how that worked out. Not much time for anything else, we both became married to our desks rather than each other. We talked about family and children, but it always seemed that we wanted to wait 'one more year.' Before I knew it, that opportunity had passed me by.

"I don't remember exactly when it started, but for a while now, I've had trouble sleeping. A few months ago, I was up one night unable to sleep and I was looking for a movie and I ended up watching Fifty Shades of Grey. I had always heard of this kind of thing but never really experienced it before. It really made me think, so I started doing a lot of reading and researching about it online. That's how Aaron contacted me. Once I met him, I decided to confront my husband about our life and how we had grown so far apart. We both decided it was best to divorce. We just recently filed the paperwork."

"Wow, I hadn't realized you were so recently separated." She grabbed my hand tightly, making me realize I had never let her hand go from when I reached out to her earlier. "At least he wasn't abusive. What was he like sexually? Was that at least good?"

"Um, at first, it was all loving and great, even wonderful. As time went on, though, you know, the fire died down, we saw each other less and less, until towards the end we were barely roommates. We parted on good terms, which is pretty rare I think, but to answer you directly, well, the sex wasn't that great. It was fairly normal and, well, quick."

"So just normal vanilla sex? Nothing more?"

"No. We barely even had oral sex."

"No?? Oh my, that's ... I don't know what to say. I can see why you can't sleep!" She made a joke out of that, and that helped to lighten the tension, turning the serious, depressing conversation back to something fun again. Then, something occurred to her. "So what have you done with other guys or girls in the BDSM scene?"

"Well, nothing, really. My husband was my only long-term lover. Other than him, it was just three other guys ever. Twice with one guy I dated, and once with a guy who was my first." When I said that, I realized how little sexual experience I really had. I always thought I was okay with that but having to say it made me feel that I'd really missed out on a lot.

"So only three guys ..." she mused " ... anything with other women?"

"Oh no, I'm straight," I said, maybe a bit too quickly.

"I see," she said, "well, you don't know what you are missing." Before I could realize the ramifications of what she just said, she got back to her original point. "So you haven't done anything in the BDSM scene." It was a statement, not a question.

"No, other than what I did with Aaron at the restaurant." Though I probably shouldn't have said anything, I was desperate to grasp onto something so I didn't sound like a child in this new BDSM world.

She perked up. "Oh really? What was that? What did you do?"

"At the restaurant, when we first met, before we parted, he told me stand by his table in the restaurant, remove my underwear and give them to him, so I did."

She nodded in recognition. "Why did you do it?"

I had never thought of that. Why did I? Any rational person would have said no. Any proper woman would have been shocked and told him no or slapped him in the face. Why did I do it?

"I don't know," I said, questioning myself as I answered her. I spent a few moments thinking about it, searching for a better answer.

"I think I know why," she said. "You were starving. The Fifty Shades movie got you thinking, but you were already hungry for something more, even if you didn't know it yet. All your life, you've probably wanted more, but family and society have said it's wrong and that you should be something different, something less than what you desire or want to be. I could be wrong, but I think you are just coming now to explore your sexuality. If that's so, then listen to it and what your body and mind are telling you. Understand that it is part of you ... you ... and not what someone else expects it to be or expects you to be."

"Maybe so, I don't know. I've never thought of it like that, or in depth like that," I told her. I realized how good it was to be able to talk to someone about these things like this, so I told her, "This really helps. I've never been able to talk to anyone about these kinds of personal, intimate things, even the 'vanilla' sex life I had with Jonathan. I'm scared to bring it up to any of my friends. They wouldn't understand."

"Well now you have a friend that does!" she said and leaned forward to give me a hug. I hugged her back, realizing how new and wonderful this friendship could turn out to be.

Pulling back from the hug, she was sitting closer to me now, and she took my hands again. At this moment, I felt really close to this woman, in a way I hadn't felt about any friend in a long time, maybe ever. "I still can't get over that you haven't done anything outside of vanilla sex. Like, when you and your husband fool around, nothing, ever? Not even the playful slap on the ass or anything?"

"No. Nothing like that at all."

"I can only imagine what you must have thought seeing me whipped, then having V edge me like he did."

"Edge you?"

"You don't know what edging is? That's okay, let me explain, it happens a lot at the events," she said. "Edging is when you build up the sexual excitement for someone, a man or woman, it doesn't matter, then when they are just about to orgasm, you stop, let the feeling subside, then build it up again, then stop again. You keep doing it until they almost can't take it. It's both exciting and frustrating at the same time, but more exiting than anything. It really makes things last, and when the orgasm does come, it's just ... words can't describe it."

Though I'd never done anything like that, I understood how that could happen. I had been interrupted before by a phone call when fantasizing and masturbating, and during that interruption, you are still in that aroused state, waiting to get back to what you were doing and finish. When you finally do, it can be more powerful.

Thinking of Brooke though, and what she and V did, brought me back to her being whipped. I never fully got that image out of my head over the past week. My mind kept drifting back to it. I decided to bring it up.

"About that, too," I started. "I wanted to ask you about that. I saw another woman being flogged, and I really got into that. I watched, and I saw myself like I was there in her place ... having that done to me ... even as the guy was doing it to her at the same time ... and I liked that quite a bit. But what V did to you ... with the whip ... I mean ... how could you do that? How could you even tolerate that? There's no way something like that could feel good."

"Oh Elizabeth, you really have no idea, do you? If you've never done anything like that, there's no way you could know, could you?" She trailed off, saying it more to herself than to me, shaking her head at me, in disbelief. She stopped for a second, looking at me, squeezing my hands. Her voice became lower, more sultry, "You know, we could try it if you wanted to."

"What do you mean?"

"Being whipped. Spanked. You need to have at least something like that happen to you to understand it, some reference point to see if you like it and if you want more. You know, if you wanted me to ... if you asked me to ... I would spank you ... right here ... right now."

When she said that, a wave of nervous anxiety flushed over me. It was that same feeling I felt when I watched the woman being flogged. I felt wild and erotic ... to think that someone, that Brooke, would spank me. Not someone else that I was watching, not some time in the future, but actually me, being spanked, right here, right now. I didn't know if I was ready for that, so I tried to deflect it.

"I didn't think subs like you liked to be the ones to do the spanking."

"In general, they probably don't, or at least, they prefer to be the ones being spanked. But I'm not solely a sub, I'm a switch. I prefer the role of sub, but I can be a a dominant from time to time, if the situation is right." Her tone changed. It wasn't a friendly comforting tone anymore. It was one with more of an air of authority, of command. Even her posture changed to reflect her new attitude. She was direct and assertive with her question. "So what will it be Elizabeth? Do you want me to spank you?"

Another wave of nervousness coursed through me, coupled with growing arousal. I hadn't expected this. I wasn't ready for this. We were just supposed to talk. But just like when Aaron ordered me to give him my panties, I was frozen. My initial reaction was to run, to flee, to say no and have Brooke leave and never come back. I was a grown woman, and I wasn't about to be disciplined like a child, and by another woman at that! A woman much younger than me, no less! And yet, just like in the restaurant with Aaron, my subconscious body took over my conscious thought, and I felt myself nodding, my mouth opening and speaking in a low whisper a single word ... "Yes."

Brooke let go of my hands and stood. "Your bedroom is over here?" she pointed towards the back. "Take me to your closet. I assume you don't have any BDSM implements. I need to see what kind of belts you have."

Belts? Did she say belts? Wait, I don't know about belts. She said spanked, not whipped. I just thought she was going to do it with her hand. My voice wouldn't work, so I didn't say anything to her. I thought about what to say, if I was even going to say anything at all, as I followed her back to my room and my closet.

She stopped inside and looked around, from my jeans, to my tops, to my skirts and dresses, to my shoes and other accessories. She looked over everything, taking in more than just looking for belts. As she did, she was nodding. Her eyes came to rest upon my rack of hanging belts. "Ah, there they are." She reached out and moved them around selecting a few. "These will do," she said, more to herself than to me. "Come with me back into your living room." It was another command, not a request. I followed her back to the living room to where we were on the couch. "Sit," she ordered, and I did.

She looked around the room, looking for something, then finding the entertainment center, she walked over to it. She turned it on, dialing in some music. I was so focused on her, on the surreal events that were happening, I didn't even notice what station she dialed. She turned it up, not so loud that it was deafening, but loud enough to cover up the noise of whatever was going to happen.

I watched her as she did this, but I looked at her differently. I no longer saw a friend, a female friend, or even the sub who I saw whipped and brought to orgasm the other night. Instead, I saw a sexy, beautiful, dominant woman, one who had control over me simply by the words she used, her attitude, and the tone of her voice. I was surprised how quickly I responded to her, responded in such a submissive, dependent way, and how my body was already responding to its own arousal. I continued to watch her, not moving, as she went around the room and closed the blinds and the drapes. The room darkened.

She returned and stood before me. "Stand up." I stood, still looking at her. She looked at me, up and down, eyeing me like a hunter looks at its prey, walking halfway around me as she did.

"Take off your pants."

"What??" I blurted out, really shocked. This was too much. I wasn't ready at *all* for this. Getting a playful spanking was one thing, but this was going way too far. This was something I'd maybe consent to do with Aaron, but wasn't something I had even remotely thought about doing with anyone else. I was about to call this off right now, but Brooke had no intention of letting me off the hook.