All Comments on 'Finding Out Ch. 01'

Good beginning but the narrator changes are a bit abrupt. It needs some sort of demarcation so we know who is speaking.

It was a bit confusing until I realized you were coming from two point of views. A way to make that more clear would be helpful, but I like the story.

I agree with the other two, this is a good start but very confusing. The best way I've seen when using various points of view is to start the section with the name of the character "talking". This would greatly improve your story I believe. Keep it up.

The view changing was a little confusing. You can separate it with astericks or something like that just so that we know what's going on. Otherwise, good start. Can't wait for more.

I agree with Hayla. I would put the name of who is speaking or at minimum a line in between of *'s or something. I look forward to your developing these characters further. I think it would be good to do something like have him go to a game and describe Julian playing ball. Have his brother talk to Matt about his reasoning for putting them together. Develop these characters as you go forward, which will make the relationship seem more real.

This is a very exciting beginning! I hope you plan on continuing the series.

Please, please write more! Please!!!!!

Glad other chapters are posted to see how their relationship progresses (: