All Comments on 'Finding You Bk. 01: When Souls Collide'

Thanks for sharing your story with us :)

That was fantastic! Thank you for sharing such a wonderful talent with us and please don't make us wait too long for Book 2. I would give this ten stars if I could, so have the biggest and brightest five you can imagine -- and you have a terrific imagination!

Then cut this down to about 3 or 4 pages, drop the extraneous material and you might have something worthwhile. As it sits the story gets lost in the words.

So very happy your muse said more. The quality is top notch. A few suggestions:

Remove the original version of this since you have the new and improved one. Think about taking down the original story until you build back up to it. New readers you pick up may be confused or unhappy at having the spoiler up. Twelve pages is nothing to me, but many readers pass on something that long. Five to seven is a more popular length for most. I really enjoy having multiple povs. It tells a more complete,strong story. Finally, a mild caution to beware of purple prose. While I love detailed description, deep emotion and intricate characters, you don't want to sound like a kinky Lifetime movie. ;D

So nice of you to branch out beyond endless loops of tool talk and misplaced revenge. You have become quite the literary bon vivant with your sage advice regarding editing and story length. Alas, you have chosen to do so on another endless loop. Perhaps you, dear friend, might avail yourself of the services of an editor prior to opining publically. Once the claptrap is removed, you will be able to post insightful and to the point reviews.

But then again...I'm not sure the system accepts posting empty boxes.

very very nicely done

Slogged through 4 pages. Get an editor who can help you cut this down by at least half. It drags.

Repost alert

Really enjoyed reading this book. Your writing is such that I felt every twist of emotion that your characters felt! I understand the comment around the potential pitfall of purple prose, though I did not personally find myself "lost" in descriptions, thoughts, or the character's feelings and emotions to the detriment of my own enjoyment of the story. Ok - perhaps there may be some room for a little judicious editing, but surely to cut your "Book" down to four pages or so would simply turn it into a "story" ... You write with such strength and purpose. Thank you for sharing this book. I look forward to reading Book 2. I found Book 1 to be a compelling read and more than worth 5 stars.

Jules

I'm so tired of short little stories that don't go any where. It's a waste of time to even open them. How thrilling to find eleven more pages to enjoy. Not everyone wants a bare-bones 'wank' piece.

I didn't know there was an earlier version until I read the comments. I haven't read it. I found this version well written and couldn't put it down.

D/s and erotica are all very well but if like so many here all you can do is string a lot of scenes (mostly SM) together with ever increasingly gymnastic sex then it isn't worth the space.

You have written a story! It hangs together and if there isn't a lot of explicit sex and BDSM yet, it promises a lot in part 2. Keep writing!