Findom: Is It Right for Me?

Part of my "Findom Camgirls" series. Tags: findom

Originally published May 2015. Updated Feb 2024.

Okay, ladies, you've got your cam set up, and you're ready to start your career as an online financial domme.

But is findom the right fetish for you?

This handy, easy-to-use guide will help you get your business up and running in no time, and you can watch the tributes roll in!

What is findom, anyway?

Findom is taking money from people who get their jollies from giving you money. Sounds too good to be true? Well thousands of satisfied dommes can't be wrong!

Findom is a fucked-up version of a simple male-female dynamic: Men use money/power to get women, women use men to get money/power. But certain men want to take it way beyond that: They want to become a sort of zero-friction conduit for this money/power exchange, so that it flows through them directly into the hands of the woman. What does the slave get from all this? The delightful feeling of freedom from responsibility, of having to make decisions.

If a man chooses to buy a woman a gift, he still has will, he is still a responsible agent. But the findom slave wishes to absolve himself of all responsibility: So he needs to be forced to buy the woman a gift. So he needs to be dominated to such a degree that he becomes a machine, a human ATM, a robot, brainwashed and completely remotely controlled.

Think you're up to that, ladies? Can you take over a man's bank account, his will, his whole life entirely? Well, once you read this, I believe you'll find it a breeze. Because the beautiful thing about findom is, the only type of men you're going to work on are those who approach You in the first place, who are predisposed to become slaves. And these guys are going to collude with you all the way in your assault on their life, because they want you to succeed even more than you do! In fact most of them will positively beg you to ruin them!

But isn't it morally reprehensible?

Yes it is.

Financial domination is considered an extreme form of femdom fetish. All I know is that, pretty obviously, it's an addiction that can seriously fuck up your life. It's not really 'extreme', it's just very addictive, and can quickly ruin you financially, just like gambling can. And like gambling, it can probably drive some poor bastards to suicide.

If I told you how much money I spent on financial dommes last month, you'd probably think I was lying. It's a HUGE percentage of my income, well over half. And my gross income last month would have been pretty good if it weren't for that goddamn GT (Goddess Tax).

So, yes, in my opinion, it is morally reprehensible. In fact it's downright evil. And in spite of my affection for evil, in this case, I mean plain evil. Yep, evil, like Ebola, not 'illicit evil' like cocaine, or 'naughty evil' like a big box of Belgian chocolates.

But hey, ladies, I know how it is these days: you really need the money, little Malka needs a new school uniform, and you have this great deal on high-speed Internet right now. Whatever helps You sleep. So, Evil, Shmevil: It's findom all the way until them bills are paid. And probably for a while after. And what have guys ever done for you except fuck you over all your life? Yeah: It's payback time. Literally.

Ok, so the Big Guy upstairs may not like it, but He'll forgive You. And if he doesn't, what does he know, he's a guy. Maybe you should switch to Hinduism and start worshipping the Goddess Kali. Now there's a Domme for you!

Know Your Slave.

This is where a lot of online findoms go wrong. They hear about this great scam called 'findom' and think they can just wing it. But they don't really get anywhere because they don't know the psychology of a slave. This is where I can help.

What kind of guy gets addicted to financial domination? A guy like me, that's who. I'm not that common a male type, but believe me there's enough of us to fuel a thriving business.

Okay, so I just searched for 'findom' in Lit stories and read a couple, both, it seems, by pro dommes (or maybe wishful thinkers). The typical illiterate comments on one of those stories vary from the bemused 'wtf' variety to the comically mistyped 'you must be sic' [sic]. Also, the usual cry of 'where's the sex?'

Well, call me sic, but those damn stories (not particularly good ones, I might add), worked for me: I mean they got me really hard. And I hate myself for it.

Yes, I'm a perfect example of a findom slave. So study me well, ladies.

There was a time when I didn't know about findom. But I've always been into female domination of some sort. And I do mean always: I've had femdom fantasies since I can remember (my earliest one, when I was literally a little child, were triggered by the tall, naked store-mannequins in a local dress shop).

I've carried my femdom fetish with me all my life, and it's been a secret from my friends, family, wives and girl-friends. Only the people here on smuterotica, one domme I visited a decade back, and of course the models on the camsites I frequent, know this aspect of me. I'm now fifty-seven and it looks like this addiction ain't going away. I just have to make sure, like all addicts, that I keep it under control.

It's taken many forms over the years, some of them benign: They are all related:

I have an ongoing stockings and high-heels leg-fetish, which of course I share with a lot of "normal" guys.

I also have bondage fantasies, where I dream of being kept in kennels, cellars and other cramped and lowly places by an uncaring woman. My owner can be any age, build or ethnicity, it doesn't matter, as long as she's a fucking weirdo psycho, and sassy, and never sets me free.

Hypnosis is another big fetish of mine. Hypnodommes are often findommes too. It's all related.

And of course there's my latest, most dangerous fetish: Findom itself.

Conspicuous by their absence are fetishes to do with pain or humiliation: I don't want my cock and balls tortured, thanks. Or my back flayed or my ass fucked by a dildo. Nor do I want women to laugh at my tiny cock - mainly because it's not tiny. It's pretty big, and looks pretty damn nifty when I have a boner. Camgirls have tried 'small penis humiliation' on me, but they're more likely to gasp 'OMG' than laugh at my inadequacy when they see my dick.

If you read above at the kind of femdom I go for, and the kind of femdom that doesn't do much for me, you'll see that the ones that get me hard are all related to relinquishing power, and the ones that do little for me are all to do with torture, suffering and guilt.

No, I don't want to be punished. I want to be - weak and powerless. I want to give up all my will, all my power, yes, and all my money too, to a sexy woman. Oh yes, she has to be sexy. I may be sick, but I'm just as shallow as the next man.

I have an innate desire to serve. To be a 'good husband'. To be a loyal pet. To be a lowly subject to a lofty queen. Sorry, forgot to capitalize the 'q'. To a Queen, dammit.

So, using me as an example, you can build a typical slave profile:

Your slave is seeking to put You on a pedestal, and is willing to pay big bucks to keep You teetering up there in Your dangerously high Louboutin's.

He is ideally single but divorced, and wants to relive his erstwhile role as a husband and financial provider, which gave his life meaning and endowed him with self-esteem.

He is born in the Year of The Dog, and keeps cats, who, as any cat-lover knows, are findoms par excellence, cool, selfish and greedy, often working in cahoots with vets to strip you of your wealth.

In real life he may be powerful and financially successful, but he yearns to give his wealth away, hopefully to some ungrateful Ukrainian hooker who makes him feel weak and puts him in his place, which should ideally be no more than 6 inches above the cold, stone floor, from where he look up to get a great view of Her long stockinged legs towering above him.

His natural money-sense prevents him from turning his fantasy into reality; but keeping his lifelong secret is a heavy burden to him, so he dreams of being blackmailed and thereby having his deceitful life exposed to the world, but without being responsible - he wants to be outed, against his will. Because above all, a slave wants You to be responsible for him. Yes, after all, findom slaves are almost always men, and almost all men are cowards and wish they could just shirk their responsibilities and let Mommy take over their life, like the Old Days.

How do I hook a slave?

Now that you understand their psychology, hooking a slave is simple! Just remember what they're looking for: Absolute Perfection.

Most of the hooking will actually be done by the slaves themselves, by allowing themselves to submit to their distorted vision of You as a Goddess rather than a woman, so it's all about suggestiveness rather than being too blatant. They desperately want to believe You're some kind of Supreme Being, they haven't seen You gnawing Your fingernails at the bus stop when You're late for Your dentist's appointment.

Here are some basic dos and don'ts:

Do: Put Your cam on the floor, point it upwards slightly, so that You can dangle Your stilettos in their face while they stare at Your sheer tights.

Do: Adopt a Mona Lisa smile. This is similar to the smile You get when You've just had an orgasm, or if You don't get orgasms, when you've bought the last 80% marked-down Gucci dress in the sale, just before that bitch with the botox managed to nab it.

Do: Sit still, or if You're getting cramp, rise in slo-mo and then glide languidly around the room like a recently fed cat.

Do: Mention money the whole time, how greedy You are, how addicted they will become, how silly they look staring at Your beauty, even if You can't see them. Exude confidence. A lot of findom addicts are also addicts of other vices, so drop hints about heroin, gambling, booze, and Pokémon card collecting until he responds to one of these triggers.

Do: Slide a credit card seductively up and down Your tights. If You don't have a credit card, a library card will do, but don't let him get too close a view of it, as it could possibly make You look a bit pathetic.

Do: Use a mic, but always talk gently, and calmly. Remember, slaves don't want screeching, they want Hypnosis and sensual seduction. Remain serene and dignified. To that end:

Don't: Fart. That's a different fetish altogether, and will just confuse the poor sap.

Don't: Use dildos or whips, cockrings or other instruments of torture. Although that might work for some slaves, it makes you seem less like a specialist. Remember findom is a niche market for slaves who are all about the Mind. If you try to cater for too many different subtypes of slave you'll end up looking amateurish. If you do use toys, stick to those that simply reinforce his powerlessness. Cuffs and masks (for him) are fine.

Don't: Tell them about Your Real Life. Not one thing. You're a Goddess to them, and the last thing they'll want to do is to picture You at Christmas dinner with Your aunt, or going on holiday to Turkey with Your sister.

Don't: Thank them when they tribute You. Ever. That's a cardinal error, and has lost a lot of rookies a lot of potential meal-tickets. It works like this: The more a slave spends, the lower their self-esteem, and they need to pay more and more to You, in a desperate attempt to raise it, to impress You, to get You to say 'Thank You'. But You must always make them feel as though they haven't paid enough, even if You're thinking "fucking hell, I can't wait to spend this on an iPhone 6+ for my kid!"

Ok, I have some slaves, how do I monetize them effectively?

Retention is a problem for many findoms. No matter how much You tell them they're hooked for life and will have to sign their house over to You, in reality they'll disappear if You let it get too extreme. You should let them top up their money regularly and don't bleed them too fast.

Keep telling them it's Your birthday, at least four times a year. If they're really slaves, they won't dare contradict You.

Use a camgirl site that allows you to raise the rate per minute astronomically high. The mere fact that they're paying $20 a minute for the session gets the slave so hard you don't even need to appear on cam at all.

Finally, the best for last: Use TeamViewer! This remote control software is great for slaves with a blackmail fantasy. It can, in effect, be used for consensual identity theft. You also can get creative with it: Besides getting them to drop money into Your Paypal or Amazon account, You can team up with another findom and make the slave pay for a session with her simultaneously with yours.

Hell, let's face it, with TeamViewer the sky's the limit!

Well, that's about it for now, happy findomming ladies!

I wrote this to try and cure myself of a very dangerous addiction to a particular online financial domme who has parted this fool with his money for too long. Since writing this, I've been free of her, and others like her. So far. One day at a time, they say. Every time I feel the craving, I come back and re-read this, part confessional, part catharsis. And when I read it I remember all your petty tricks. Well I'm not going to be one of your petty tricks any more, Lady L. (See, I managed not to capitalize the 'y' in 'your'.)

Update, February 2024:

I received a lot of email responses to the original howto, from guys, grateful to see that they weren't the only ones suffering this embarrassing addiction. I also received a few emails from women too, who were findom-curious.

I've found that the best cure for findom addiction is being short of money, a state I'm happily now in, partly of course, due to spending so much in the past. Nowadays, paying the heating bills is my new fetish. I hope to be free of that addiction too, one day.

I still find findom a huge turn-on, and have relapsed a few times in the nine years since I wrote this. But the amount I spend is about a twentieth of my previous outgoings.

My wife discovered my fetish, after seeing a video that I'd downloaded. She now feels much better about spending my salary on her very expensive beauty treatments.