Fiona

"'Nother time," Ewan promised and they nodded, looking tentatively at each other.

"So," Fiona called with an ominous grin. "Was she any good, donkey dick man?" She smiled as Greg tutted and Sam blushed.

"We didn't," Laura answered for him. "But we are going on a date." She waited for Fiona to start to talk and then interrupted her. "And none of it is your business."

"Yeah," Sam cried. "It's private."

"Quite right," Fiona nodded. "And I'll read it on the bog wall at the pub anyway!" She teased.

Fiona got dressed after a brief shower, and walked with Greg and Hayden back to their housing estate. "When are you back?" Hayden asked after Fiona had spoken of her trip back home over the school holidays.

"Just a week," Fiona replied, and he hummed.

"Sophia's asked me to take her back," he admitted. "And I know what you are going to say ..."

"... then it will save me the trouble of calling you a stupid twat if you consider it."

"It's his choice," Greg replied.

"I can think of dozens of better women for him."

"Yeah," Hayden admitted. "But she's different." He sighed and coughed. "And her parents want to set her up with a Prince from Bavaria." Greg spluttered.

"Yes, her family was something in line to the Bulgarian throne when the revolution came, so what? She's nasty Hayden. Promise me you will have nothing to do with her."

"But ..."

"Hayden! She messed you around before. Do you really want that again?" He hesitated and Fiona snorted in annoyance. "You need your head seeing to."

"She's really not that bad," Hayden blurted out and crossed his arms. "She's ... special. Just in her own way."

* * * * *

"Delays at Preston" followed by "engineering work at Lancaster" led to a far longer journey for Fiona than she had hoped for, but the beautiful girl found a young man travelling to see his family in the Lake District and she got to play cards instead of reading her book.

Her younger siblings barely acknowledged her presence when she arrived home, and had to navigate around the frantic hugging from her parents. "Before you start," she said, as she disentangled herself. "I know the school will be telling you anyway, but I have not applied to Oxbridge."

"Why?" Her father asked, frowning slightly. "You said you wanted to go to Oxford."

"Changed my mind," she murmured and cocked her head. "That's the end of it. Upset a few people but ..."

"You are clever enough."

"No," she muttered. "I'm too clever. Too clever to want to go there." She sighed. "But I knew you'd say that."

"Well it's your choice."

"And that. And yes, I know it's my choice and that's why I have decided not to apply to Oxford."

"I think you'd get in," her mother added.

"Oh, I knew I will. But there's a chance I might see some of those bitches from my school and that makes my skin crawl." She let the words hang in the air and sat down next to her brother, reading on the couch. "Have you got a girlfriend yet?"

"Fiona!" He moaned. "Leave me alone."

"Some boys are so hopeless," she snorted and saw her parents staring at her. "And don't look at me like that. I've missed the deadline now so there is nothing I can do about it. A proper university awaits. If I decide I want to go to University. Was thinking of applying to be a stripper in the ..." Fiona's teasing tailed off and she squeezed the leg of her brother. "I could set you up with one of my co-stars."

"Fiona, you promised us that you would apply to Oxbridge and ..." Her father barked, gesturing towards the young lady.

"Yeah, well they wanted me to but I don't want to."

"But you are so bright," he moaned and asked his son to leave the room. "And your school report does not make for good reading. 'Habitually froward and unredeemingly recalcitrant,'" he said as Fiona was left alone with her parents. "When are you going to start listening to other people, young lady?"

"When I stop being surrounded by utter cunts," Fiona snapped at her parents and closed her eyes in expectation of the lecture that was about to follow.

Chapter IV

"See you found your necklace," Fiona said as Jenny entered their shared bedroom. Her room-mate sheepishly averted her eyes and rubbed her brow.

"Yeah. I left it in my trouser pocket. I forgot I took it off in Angelina's room. Mum found it when she did the washing."

"Yeah ... well. I told you it wasn't me or Greg."

"I never said it was you," the dark brown-haired girl snapped. There was silence for a few moments and she licked her lips. "Sorry."

"So you bloody should be!"

Jenny hummed and she put her suitcase on the floor before looking at the naked girl in the bed. "I am sorry. I didn't know and ..." Jenny didn't finish the sentence and crossed her arms. "I don't s'pose you know where can I get a bottle of champagne in this village?"

Fiona's expression softened and she laughed. "The off-license or the pub. But I thought you didn't drink!"

"It's Angelina's eighteenth today," Jenny replied defensively. "I just would love to manage to get her a bottle or two."

"How about a bottle of cyanide?" Fiona asked with a gleam in her eye and put the white T-Shirt over her head, before reaching for her hairbrush. "I'd go halves with you on a bottle of cyanide."

"I know you don't like her, but ..."

"I despise her," Fiona corrected her in an acid tone. "I know she is your friend but she thinks I am not worthy of being here. She treats me like shit."

"You wind her up!" Fiona snorted and sat down in front of the mirror on the wall as she brushed her hair. "So what do I do at the off-license?"

The blonde girl burst into laughter. "Just go and buy it." She looked at her watch and then at her half-naked room-mate getting dressed. "I got to be at Greg's house at one. His mother wants to meet the girl, screwing her son, so if we leave now I can take you and show you."

"But ... how do I get it back in without being seen?"

Fiona passed a rucksack to her from the side of the bed. "Use that. It has a false bottom. Put a jumper and stuff in it, and hide it underneath. If they search you, which they won't, but if they did, they won't find it." Fiona cocked her head with a giggle. "One of my exes bought it for me so I could get stuff in here." Jenny glanced at the rucksack and sighed. "Oh, and if you are nervous, you will draw attention to yourself."

Fiona waited as Jenny quickly dressed herself and the two room-mates walked into the small village centre, a mile from their exclusive school. Fiona was stopped on several occasions as they meandered through the small settlement, and she happily exchanged small talk with a number of people, while Jenny fidgeted anxiously.

"Oh, hi Hayden," Fiona cried across the road outside the little off-license. She beckoned for Greg's friend to cross the street and looked at Jenny. "This is Jenny, friend of Sophia and my room-mate," she said, introducing her companion. "She's very shy and doesn't speak much." Jenny blushed and tried to object but Fiona interrupted her. "And this is Hayden, Sophia's ex, Greg's friend and a good laugh!"

"Hi," Hayden muttered with a thinly-disguised smile.

Jenny looked at Fiona, who brushed Hayen's open coat to one side and pulled his T-shirt up to his chest. "Feel his muscles," she teased. "He trains every day."

"Fiona!" Jenny moaned with a giggle. "You can't do that."

"Sure I can." She turned to the mildly embarrassed boy and pulled his white cotton garment down to his trousers. "What ya up to?"

"Sammy's off to Derby, gonna get a new pair of trainers."

"You like Tennis, don't you?" Fiona asked her room mate with a grin. "Perfect match for you. Dates on the Tennis Court and ..."

"I told you, I don't want a boyfriend," the snarling girl moaned. "Really I don't want one."

"You so need one though," she sniped as embarrassed man made his excuses and ran up the hill. "He's got a body to die for," Fiona muttered and was chastised by Jenny for having "sinful desires." The blonde girl scoffed and opened the red door to the off-license and pointed to the champagnes on a shelf behind the cashier.

"But they only have Lanson and Moet and Chandon," Jenny cried as she looked. "That's really cheap champagne."

Fiona smiled at the man behind the counter. "Sorry. I had to extract the silver spoon before she could put her knickers on this morning," she joked and the middle-aged man chortled.

"What?" Jenny asked aggressively.

"Nothing," Fiona replied. "Just a little joke."

"OK. What about a Tattinger or a ..."

"It's a village off-license not Champagne 'R' Us. Just pick one." Jenny grumbled and selected three bottles of the Moet and Chandon before being asked for identification. She looked at Fiona who shook her head and opened her purse to show her provisional driving license. "She's not used to leaving the Abbey!"

Jenny had to pass the four banknotes to Fiona to hand them to the cashier, before the bottles of champagne were placed into the rucksack Jenny was carrying.

"See you later," the blonde girl cried as her room-mate left her company.

"Yeah," Jenny muttered. "But I will probably be at Angelina's little party when you get back."

"Give her birthday punches from me. Hard. Very hard. And in the face."

* * * * *

"I hope you know what you are doing!" Greg whispered into Fiona's ear as she smiled at Greg's geeky neighbour.

"Sure I do," she murmured and rubbed her hands. "Her name is Jenny and she sleeps with me." She hesitated when Greg sniggered and glared at him. "Sleeps in the same room as me. And she needs help."

"She does not need help," Greg sighed and gently shook his head. "She's a bit shy and Fiona thinks she needs a boyfriend."

"And I think you need a girlfriend," she added and crossed her arms. "Well I know you do." She turned to talk to Greg and smirked. "Is that why he was looking at me in the garden?" The seventeen year-old blushed, to Fiona's delight and the blonde girl addressed the boy shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "I'll set you up with a date," she offered. "Sure, she's a little bit of a bitch at times, but you are both without partners so I'm sure you can work it out." Liam shifted uneasily and looked at Greg for guidance, but Fiona continued before her boyfriend could intervene. "If you meet me down at the Hare and Hounds on Sunday," she asked. "At, say 6pm. OK?"

"Well I'm not sure."

"That's a yes. And if you are late, I'll swing for you. And I'll tell your mother you were watching me sunbathing naked in Greg's garden."

"But I haven't," he cried and Fiona cackled.

"I know that, but what will she believe!" She stuck her tongue out at Greg's nervous neighbour and rubbed her hands in delight.

"Come on, I told Mum we'd only be ten minutes," Greg moaned as he tugged at his girlfriend's coat. "We'll be late." Greg knew better than to show Fiona his displeasure of her match-making actions, however ill advised he considered it and just guided the firebrand towards his parent's house.

Greg was dispatched to "tidy" his bedroom when he arrived home and his mother gestured for Fiona to come with her into the lounge. "You must be the Fiona we hear so much about but never get to meet! Greg barely stops talking about you."

"Really?" Fiona asked surprised, as she entered the small lounge.

"Oh you should hear him when his mates are round. I think you've made quite an impression on him." She glanced up at the stairs and gestured at Fiona to sit on the sofa. "I need to ask something," she said and hesitated. "His last girlfriend strung him along something awful and when they split up, he didn't take it too well." She bit her lip and waited for Fiona to respond.

"I'm not stringing him along," Fiona promised and scowled at the well-meaning mother. "We are good friends, we have a laugh. I like him. But we aren't in love. And we won't ever be."

"I'm not saying you are ... but ... well he doesn't take rejection all that well."

Fiona studied the concerned face of Emma Hollands and bit her lip. "I mean, he knows that and he doesn't love me. But we have a laugh and I am not telling him I want to spend the rest of my life with him because at the moment I don't. And I think he will get tired of me. And I will get tired of him."

"Look after him," she begged and Fiona crossed her arms. "He's not great with girls." Fiona's face flickered, and Emma hesitated for a moment. "I don't want to be mean, but I know what girls at your school can be like and ..."

"I am not like the rest of the girls from that school," Fiona spat. "I hate them too."

"Hate?" She asked inquisitively and Fiona nodded.

"Yeah ... hate. They are nasty, twisted, evil little ... well I hate them and I know what they can be like. And I promise I will be fair with him. We aren't going to be setting a date ... probably ever ... but he knows that."

His mother hummed. "Just don't break his heart." Fiona pursed her lips and just giggled.

"Yeah, I won't," she said uneasily and cleared her throat; there was something strangely weird about chatting with her boyfriend's mother about their relationship. "We aren't a long-term thing. I know he'll make some girl very happy and have a family with her but I know that person isn't me," she replied slowly as she focused on the pattern in the carpet. "But we'll stay friends. I'm sure of that. We're just friends who have sex!"

His mother gave an uneasy smile. On reflection, perhaps it was an admission too far.

Chapter V

"I fancy going out," Fiona announced to her room-mate as she got up from her desk. Jenny hesitated as Fiona held out the designer coat and looked at her with wide eyes. "What?"

"With me?"

"Yeah," Fiona snorted and rolled her eyes. "It's not even term-time, that starts tomorrow. Come on, let's get out."

"We aren't allowed out."

"Well we sort of are," Fiona responded sanctimoniously. "Of sorts. Come on, please! Just a breath of fresh air." She watched Jenny who hesitated before relenting and snatched the woollen coat aggressively from the outstretched hand.

"If I get in trouble, I'll be so angry," Jenny snapped and followed her room-mate out of the room. Fiona was adamant that there was no rule to stop them leaving the grounds, and sauntered out of the front door of school, and down the driveway nonchalantly. "Where are we going?"

"Out," Fiona cried and smiled at her. "It's my new resolution, to get to know you better. We share a room but I barely know anything about you." Jenny gave a weak smile as they arrived in the village and hesitated as Fiona pushed open the door to the Hare and Hounds.

"Fiona," Jenny hissed. "I can't go in there."

"Sure we can," Fiona replied with her trademark giggle, and grabbed Jenny's hand, pulling the reticent young lady into the busy pub. Jenny objected loudly and a few heads turned to watch as the grappling girls spilled into the warm inn.

"Fiona," she hissed but the blonde girl pushed Jenny to sit down at a spare table and then ordered a glass of white wine and a pint of local ale with a packet of dry roasted peanuts. "What are we doing here?"

"Relax," Fiona cried and scratched her nose, before passing the wine to her room-mate. She opened the peanuts down the centre of the bag so Jenny could help herself, who tried one then coughed.

"They're awful," Jenny snapped but Fiona was looking around the pub for Liam and nodded towards him when he caught her eye. She smiled at the single boy and gestured for the date to come over, which he nervously did.

"This is Jenny," she told him, patting the chair next to her. "And she is single too."

"Fiona!" Jenny cried angrily, watching Fiona take a gulp of her pint of ale and shaking her head. "I am not single."

"You are single," Fiona snapped. "She is single but she is worried about looking. It's the problem with virg ... inexperienced people. They are scared of the unknown. But Liam is scared of the unknown too. You can be scared of the unknown together. Now I'm going to take my nuts and wander off to ..."

Jenny took a deep breath and her chest swelled. "I am not going on a date."

"Sure," Fiona said with a smirk. "You walk back to the Abbey on your own, but it's getting dark." Jenny glanced out of the window and looked back at Fiona. "Have a drink, and a chat, and then we'll go."

"I want to ..." Jenny scowled, but Fiona ignored her, nodded towards Liam and idled across the pub to a table where Hayden was sat.

"Greg said I might see you here," Hayden admitted as Fiona sat down at the table. "Said you might've played matchmaker." Fiona smirked and slapped Hayden's hand as he tried to grab a handful of her peanuts with a scowl.

"Ask," she demanded, before smiling and leaning back on the seat. She glanced over at Jenny, frostily engaged in minimalistic conversation with her "date" before chatting warmly to Hayden.

Fiona lied; she bought two more pints of beer for herself before rejoining a more relaxed Jenny, who almost leapt at the chance at leaving the smoky pub. Jenny moaned vociferously as they meandered down the narrow lanes towards their school: Fiona had been deceptive and manipulative in getting her to the nasty place and her efforts were not appreciated. "He's such a loser," Jenny moaned. "He's got no ambition. No future."

"He's very clever," Fiona replied, a little tersely. "He's ..."

"He's not going to Oxbridge," Jenny interrupted.

"I'm not going to Oxbridge," Fiona replied. "I can't think of anything worse." Jenny didn't respond and the pair strode up their school drive in silence and noisily entered the school foyer.

"Jenny! Fiona!" A voice exclaimed and they looked to see the crossed arms and scowl of the Principal beckoning them into her study. "Here now!"

"Shit," Fiona muttered.

"This is your fault," Jenny cried loudly.

"Here!" The two girls walked around the desk of the receptionist and into the office of the "disappointed" Principal. Fiona knew that they should not have been out of the school post-5pm on the Sunday night, despite them being over the age of eighteen, and both the girls were lectured by the middle-aged woman.

Jenny tried in vain to blame their evening excursion on Fiona, but the blonde girl just apologised, shook her head and accepted her punishment: they were both grounded for one week.

"I hate you," Jenny spat as they left the office.

"Yeah, I'm sorry for trying to help," Fiona responded with a snarl, and walked away from the angry girl.

* * * * *

"It's been five days," Fiona barked at her room-mate. "I've said I'm sorry!" Jenny snorted and ignored her room-mate, striding out of the small bedroom she shared. "Screw you then."

Fiona threw herself onto her bed and glanced at her bedside table; she had her sex toy and a pornographic magazine in the drawer and she thought about using them for a moment. She hummed and closed her eyes; she wanted to, but she knew that if Jenny came back, there would be trouble.

Why did they have to billet her with a prude? At best, Jenny was an acquaintance, and although there were far worse girls to share a room with, Jenny was proving to be fairly unsympathetic to her needs and beliefs. She wanted someone else.

It was hardly unusual for a boarding school schoolgirl to be in trouble once and awhile, and being grounded for a week was hardly the worst punishment. Fiona had sent a brief letter by post on the Monday to Greg explaining her predicament and had planned to see if she could smuggle his name on the visitors' list that was normally reserved for families. If she was lucky, they could take a trip to the gardener's shed on the outskirts of her school grounds.

Jenny barely did anything anyway, and her being grounded meant that she couldn't go and play at the local tennis club she often did in the evening; she had a date out of it with someone who appeared to be thoughtful and kind. What more did the bloody girl want?