First Love - Its Pains and Joy

At its edge, she always stopped me. Reaching for my head, she gently moved my kisses up her belly and again to her breasts. I loved to feel her belly-tensing unrest as my lips moved closer, and my nose slid into the hair of her auburn triangle and smell of her sex. With each of my journeys down, Elizabeth hesitated longer and longer before her hand directed me north again. It remained a boundary that we did not cross, and I regret it still.

Elizabeth also, I found out, disliked her bottom, despite her long and shapely legs ending in curvaceous, sexily dimpled buttocks. I loved to touch her ass, but there was always a tiny signal of discomfort when I did. Later, when we were making more free and uninhibited love, I asked if I could take her from behind. She did not turn cold but said firmly "No".

About three months in our relationship, I was beginning to believe that the ice-maiden had been banished. We still started our night by a companionable being together in bed. Our growing familiarity with each other, however, did not prolong our stay. Instead, both of us got quicker and more heatedly aroused by our naked nearness. Our talking to each other - Elizabeth still being too shy for sex-talk - was replaced by a less and less inhibited foreplay with the bedside-light still on. Fully aroused, we turned on each other to fuck. Risking more, I turned on my back and pulled Elizabeth, panting and far from calm, on my top. I wanted a change from the missionary position that she so exclusively favoured. I wanted to watch her ride my cock and to run my hands over her in arousal arching body.

While she did not resist what I attempted, she did not assist either. I knew better than to force or rush her. So, I enjoyed her body stretched out on mine. We kissed, and her mouth was welcoming and loving. My hands feathered lightly up and down her back. Eventually, my hands dared to slide down to stroke, with the lightest of touch, over her shapely buttocks. Her body did not shrink away, and as her tongue sexily talked to mine, I felt encouraged to go further. I reached down to pull her thighs up till her crotch straddled my waiting cock. She willingly lifted for my cock to slide in. She, being on top, continued to kiss me while we, restricted in our movement as we were, gently and sensuously fucked.

But I wanted to see her ride. Gripping her shoulders, I almost forced her to sit up. She sat on me, stock-still, her shoulders slumped, her face filled with a sudden sadness. I could not bear to look at her, so I pulled her down into my arms. I said nothing; there was nothing to say. I just held her close, stroking her hair. After a while, we separated and covered up. Clinging to each other like children lost, we fell asleep.

I must have turned away from her. When I woke in the dark, her body was pressed tightly against my back, and I could feel the touch of her firm nipples on my skin. Her arm was across my middle, and my cock was in her hand and being made love to. Elizabeth had never done that before. I did not move, but she knew I was awake and bit into my shoulder, following it with a wet sucking kiss. It was meant to punish and mark me! Her grip on my hardening cock had firmed, and she was slowly, tantalisingly slowly, masturbating me. If I did not stop her, she would get me undone. So, I turned out of her dangerous grip. I slid lower on the bed, and although we were in the dark, I crawled under the light covers. I wanted to lock myself in with Elizabeth's body-heat and smell. My mouth searched out her breasts, to punish her with sucking, teasing, tantalising bites on her so sensitive nipples. Her hands pressed on my head and pushed me, from one pointy erection to the other and back again. I drew my tongue down over her belly, stopping just at the edge of her bush. My hand pressed on her cramped together thighs. They opened, her hips jerked up, and her pubes pressed hard against my face. I was tempted. Just as the tips of my fingers found the plumb lips of her pussy, she roughly grabbed my hair and pulled me up. It was not in refusal! Her thrusting-in tongue and the searching grind of her pussy told differently!

And then we fucked, and we fucked with all restraints abandoned. In the darkness, I rose up and pulled Elizabeth's straining and twisting loin against my rampant rod. In my imagination, I could see her. I loved what I saw, and I wanted to hear her cry-out as I rammed again and again into her heat. It brought me close, much too soon. I pulled out to recover. Her cry of "No!" I answered by kissing her gently. I began to stroke, with the lightest of touch over her shivering body. Whispering, I told her how beautiful she was, how much I loved her, and how happy she made me by now wanting me as much as I wanted her.

And then we fucked again, now immersed in a long, lustful search for the ultimate pleasure. When Elizabeth finally climaxed, she shivering stretched-out with a loudly moaned, almost triumphant "Yes!". For me, no holding back was possible. We collapsed into each other's arms. After I recovered, I suddenly remembered that I had not put on a condom. It was the first time I had failed to do so. Elizabeth just smiled when I apologised and told me not to worry. Since a miscarriage in the early years of marriage, she had never gotten pregnant.

When Elizabeth, late into the night, reluctantly got up to get dressed, she paused. She was gloriously naked as she looked down on half-awake me. She held up her panties. With a smirk and glint in her eyes, she asked: -

"Do I need these? We are going to park again, aren't we? "

She folded the panties and put them in her handbag. Giving me a telling wink, Elizabeth slowly rolled up her nylons. In drawing up her girdle to wriggle it over her hips, her thighs spread. As she fixed with steady hands, the girdle straps to her stockings, I could watch her knuckles brush teasingly over her pussy's lips. It was an incredibly sexy, tantalising provocation. My supposed ice-maiden had truly thawed!

During our drive to Box Hill, we talked little, but Elizabeth's hand was on my thigh, almost touching my rampant erection. With the car parked and engine and lights turned off I turned to her. I was curious and eager to find out how she would keep what she had so wantonly promised. She put a hand on my chest, not pushing, just holding me away.

"Do you mind if I make it my night tonight?", she asked. Her voice was slightly hoarse as she pulled me into a long, lingering kiss. She only stopped to draw me closer to allow her lips to wander over my cheek and throat, before sliding slowly up to my ear. A probing flicker of her tongue made me shiver as she whispered: -

"Touch me, please! You know how much I love you touching my pussy!"

Elizabeth took hold of my wrist, guiding my hand under her skirt, onto her bared crotch until my fingers had found her already or still lust-swollen lips. Her in excitement labouring breath filled my ear, as my fingers caressed them open. As they found their way, she moaned a hungrily urging "Yes! ... Yes!" in my ear. When she switched to kissing, her tongue thrust into and explored the depth of my mouth. My fingers in her pussy matched her tongue in a wild sort of dance. Neither was sparing and gentle,

We had fucked beautiful and long already that night, but both of us still wanted more. Elizabeth almost threw herself over my thigh to unbuckle my belt, unzip my fly to free my straining cock. Her feverish hurry let me know how eager she was, how much she wanted us to fuck right now. But, at this moment, a car approached and its lights invaded the car. Elizabeth hid, pressing her face onto my thighs without releasing her grip on my cock. Looking down, I saw how close she brought it to her lips. I almost cried out.

When darkness cloaked us again, Elizabeth let go. Rising, she moved away from me on the bench, all the way to the car's door. Both of her hands reached for me, urging me to follow. Once I was close to her, she swung her leg over my thighs. Then her groin began to circle, searching for my cock. I grabbed her buttocks to lower her gently onto my length, but Elizabeth would have none of this.

With her head thrown back and a half-swallowed cry, she thrust herself down to ram in all of my cock's rampant size. Then, gyrating out of her hips, Elizabeth started to ride me like the cowgirls I had read about. She fucked me hard, and her kisses told me, better than words, of her newfound passion for fucking. The sudden arching back of her body and her hard grinding of cunt against cock were like shrieks of unbridled lust.

Suddenly she threw her arms around me and buried her head against my shoulder. With a drawn-out moan, her whole body convulsed and shook as her ass lifted and strained away from my undischarged erection. New to such an orgasm, she wanted to escape. With a voice still sexily hoarse from the wild ride, she whispered: -

"Fred, I hope you are pleased with me. I never have ... done it like this before."

Elizabeth was in turmoil. She was still pretending it was all for me and not admitting how much she liked to fuck. Yet, on this night, she had become insatiable. My cock was still deep inside her, gripped and released, lasciviously sucked, not being surrendered. Her lips were on my ear, her panting, hot breath suggested the words she still refused to say. I decided to challenge her, force her over the blocking hurdle.

I grabbed Elizabeth's hair and pulled her in for a kiss. Her lips opened on touch, and her tongue joined mine in a lecherous wrestle that hid nothing anymore. With her hair in my grip, I pulled her out of our kiss. Holding Elizabeth's excitement-flushed face close to mine, I said: -

"Don't keep silent. Tell me! ... You want to fuck! ... Fuck hard and long! ... Fuck me and be fucked by me! ... Always. ... Like tonight: Again, and again. Don't you?"

Gripped by anxiety and breathless, I ran out of words.

Elizabeth, for long, long seconds, lay absolutely still. I began to fear that I had been too crude, gone too far, too quickly. I let go of her hair. Suddenly her arms locked around my body, and with an explosively gasped, "Yes! ... Yes! '... Fred, fuck me!" her pussy began a wanton grind. And I slipped my hands under her skirt and girdle and gripped her straining ass.

Without ever releasing my hard grip, with fingers digging in and spreading her buttocks we fucked. Elizabeth still was astride, wanting to fuck me hard into a shared coming. Now, however, she was no longer in control. My grip on her ass could hold her back and urge her on. I made my cock tease her lips and clit, before sliding in deep, again and again, tantalising her hot eager cunt.

The hitherto forbidden words whispered, gasped, moaned and shouted poured out of our mouths while we fucked like this, for a long, long time. Both of us climaxed in shaking spasms that did not want to stop. Elizabeth tried to suppress her welling-up moans but then, throwing back her head, she cried out in shrill joy that turned into body-shaking laughter. Then she just sunk into my arms.

We rested with cock and cunt linked together for quite a while, almost falling asleep. It was past four in the morning, and it had been a night filled with unexpected surprises. Elizabeth finally, reluctantly pulled away and straightened out her skirt and blouse. With a giggle, she dipped her finger into my soaked groin and the wet on the bench, before admonishing me "to clean up this mess". Kissing me farewell on my ear, she whispered: -

"Sleep well and naughty dreams. God, I'll have them after tonight!"

When I pulled away, my headlights caught her walking down the footpath. Looking briefly over her shoulder, she walked on. Her ass swayed in a cheeky farewell.

We were to see each other next Saturday. I think it must have been for me the longest week ever. What Elizabeth had chosen to reveal to me that incredible night, I could not get out of my mind. I was elated and jubilant and also, with the vanity of a young male full of pride.

Some doubts still bothered me. Did it mean that our sex-life had now changed? Had it, to put it crudely, normalised so that it needed no longer the forbearance with which we had nurtured and maintained our desire for each other before? For me, the most significant discovery in loving Elizabeth was, how much I needed, as a man, to be desired and wanted.

Most importantly, I had learned that desire could not and should not be forced. I wanted that slow, in unison shared welling-up of wanting and lust. I did not want it to change.

One Saturday night, it was a warm November evening, Elizabeth came early. We sat for a while outside in the garden, having a coffee. In my room, as often before, I left her to undress and get into bed. I came back with champagne and glasses. I told her, with my still clumsy English, that I loved her and, that we are celebrating our ... ... what? Union? Words failed me.

Elizabeth burst out laughing and ordered me to get undressed. When I poured the champagne for us and slid in next to her, she pushed the cover slowly aside. She blushed as we toasted each other. The lights were on, it was warm, and Elizabeth clearly wanted to be naked, seen and desired. And God, I wanted her! The champagne, therefore, was by us not sipped. Inbetween wildly salacious kissing and groping, not only by me, we drank it in greedy gulps!

Turning on my side in our wrestling, I had lifted Elizabeth's leg, bending her knee almost to her chest. It opened her crotch to the probing tip of my cock. While it slid slowly into her slippery, oh so ready pussy, I watched Elizabeth's lust-filled face. In this for me, new side-on position, we could fuck more lovingly, more teasingly, more lasciviously than in the missionary one that she had so exclusively allowed. Raised on my elbow, I could now not only see her face and body, but could freely touch her breasts, and guide a finger to find her sweet clit. And, both of us, could look down to watch cock as it tongue-like kissed and caressed her pussy's lips open before sinking in with a deep, passionate thrust.

Elizabeth was quickly won over. We had become in our sexual tastes a match. We delighted in the playful sensuality of our new way to fuck. It became for the remaining meetings that were left to us the only way. It thrilled me, especially that the sensual intensity of our fucking finally broke her earlier silence. The second time we fucked like this, my cock just teased her too long and gentle: Squirming under my fingers that played with her nipples, she grabbed my hair and moaned: -

"Don't make me wait forever. Fuck me! ... Fuck me hard! ... Show me how much you want me!"

I responded with a burst of deep thrusts into her pulsating cunt. As she began to come, her whole body shivering, Elizabeth stretched out. She wanted me to see how she embraced her pleasure. Facing me, with her arms thrown back and her groin arching and grinding against my spurting cock, she cried out: - "Yes! ... Fuck me! ... God, yes!" And we fucked, almost demented like, through wave after crashing wave of coming together. We were possessed by our sex; with all shame abandoned, we could not get enough of each other.

Elizabeth had shed all her initial passivity but still left it mainly to me to initiate the new into our arousing plays. I had learned to read her responses; learned not to persist with what she did not want or was not yet ready for. Regarding the latter, as with her shyness to ride, she often surprised me. But I never again tried to take her from behind. She made no move to encourage me, and this was enough reason not to persist.

There was one, more uncertain matter that Elizabeth left unresolved. In our love-making, she now willingly offered her body. But, whenever I kissed my way down over her tensing, belly, her hands grabbed for my hair. They did not try to stop me when I breathed, in passing over, my lust into her bush and drew in her sexy smell. Neither did they pull me back when, eventually, my kisses and tongue moved slowly up her thighs, closer and closer to the other lips I wanted to kiss.

Every time I did so, Elizabeth hesitated longer before she gently pulled me up for a different kiss. But then she just stopped doing so. I was apparently free to do what I longed for. What stopped me was that I did not want to take what I wanted to be given. I wanted her hand, the one that had stopped me so often from going further, to push my lips and tongue on her now, as I knew, so eager to be kissed pussy. But it did not happen.

In early December, Elizabeth ended our illicit affair. Her father was becoming difficult: He kept questioning her closely about her absences and her late returns home. She thought he had searched her things to find her girlfriend's address and phone number. Her so often used alibi was under threat. She lacked the money to leave her parents and set up on her own. Solicitor costs for the then lengthy divorce proceedings kept her short of funds.

I did not think of it then, but a further reason for Elizabeth's to end our affair could have been that it had become for her more than just an opportunistic fling. By accident, we had found in each other an ideal sexual partner.

I became that by not demanding what Elizabeth, due to her past, did not want to give. And Elizabeth discovered her sexuality. With me, she neither wanted nor needed to withhold or hide her fire and longings. For both of us, it was a new beginning, a step-by-step journey of exciting sex and liberating discovery.

Elizabeth, as an older woman, would have wished to find this in a long-term partner. But I was a twenty-one-year young New Australian with no discernible prospects. For her, I was not the right match. This had, of course, tempted the ice-maiden at the start into this, she believed, risk-free sexual diversion. It became more than that. For her, it was safer to end it.

Not understanding what made her do so, spared me from anger. At our last meeting, I was desperately sad. In my room, we did not make love; fully dressed, we lay on the bed for a while. We found nothing more to say.

Early in the evening, I drove Elizabeth home. Stopping between our two streetlights, I kept the engine running. She sat there next to me, her head lowered, her hands in her lap, for what seemed a long time. Then she lent-over to kiss me hurriedly on my cheek. I had turned my face away from her. With a strangled "Good-by Fred" she reached for the door and quickly got out.

When I pulled away from the kerb the car's headlights caught Elizabeth in their beam hurrying down the footpath. She did not look up to see me go.