All Comments on 'First Love: Revisited'

Stories should be written in either 1st person ( I / me ) or 3rd person ( He, she, they, them, it ). 2nd person ( you ) either means the writer doesn't know or care that their writing is amateurish and frustratingly difficult for the reader to "get into." 1 star.

Thanks anonymous for your feedback. You're right, the story is amateurish, because I am an amateur and it's the first thing I've ever written. Lucky for me I've chosen to take your criticism constructively. Additionally, it was written that way as it was going to be a letter, but I chickened out of sending it and posted it here instead, thinking one day when I was feeling braver, maybe I'd send them the link.

Thank you for your comment.

I had an entirely illicit affair, culminating in a hotel stay where we may have had a total of 50 or 60 orgasms.

Ever after, when I drove past that hotel, I had a warm feeling.

Guy should have eaten more pussy, though.