by MistressMerry
A very good start. Please write more of this story.
For once someone has written a realistic story. Our heroine doesn't jump into someone's bed for revenge. Obviously, she's in great pain. She's a mess. She's crying, people notice. She drives away from the "scene of the crime." Slowly, she starts to think, trying to get her life on track. She finds a sympathetic ear who helps her. I like this story. It's building up quite nicely. I'm looking forward to the rest.
You have a great start. Please continue. I think her actions are realistic.
good start ... realistic and gritty. Most of the time these stories are about how the wife wants revenge decides to fuck the entire washington red skins football ... Just the african american players mind you... then comes home and finds out there it was the husband twin brother she saw in the bed ...
<br></br>
so your story is nicely done
Pretty good start to the story. A couple of suggestions: lighten up the prose, jazz up the writing a little. The storytelling is bland, too focused on following a tight storyline. Life isn't that driven, it's looser, less directed, less narrative in its construction. Make your story seem to the reader like they're experiencing a slice of life. They'll like you better for it.
<P>
Second, paint the scenes with words. Your pen is your brush, and your sentences are the colors. Your canvas is the written page, fill it with interesting imagery and dialogue that moves the characters through each scene, letting us experience for ourselves what they see, what they hear and what they feel. It's not easy to do. I know what it is but I can't do it when I write either. :)
<P>
Thanks for your effort. I look forward to Chapter Two.
You have described a person, woman, in anguish. My only question is why is the first section so short. I realize you stopped at the cliff hanger but the space is there for more writing. There is no reason to drag out a story over several chapters without real cause. To much prose, as in Ardmore, isnt good, clear, concise, and to the point is more readable, unstandable, and welcomed.
I really liked this this story and would like to finish reading it,please. It's an interesting story so far.
there is a good start here. You've lots of different directions to go with this story. Let's see more!
This is a really good start. I would like to see where this story goes. Thanks for posting.
You have a good foundation for a story here. The erotic ones were good but so is this one. This woman seems to be weathering one of life's tragedies with grace and confidence. It may be better to keep this one as non sexual. I would like to see if she starts a new life in a new city. Good for her.....Jeff
You should really think about continuing this story. You have written a good basis here. It is one that you could definitely expand upon. You could easily keep the x rated stuff out of this one. This is one story that may not need it. I loved your stories of Don and Amy.
A good start. Does she get half his retirement in the divorce? How's her new job? Any romantic interests? How bad was the beat down? Is her new life good?