All Comments on 'First Time'

i like the general story but you needed to add more supporting details-

tell me about the crop,tell me about her facial expressions and sounds as she climaxes.

also you didnt mention the vibe until you were taking it out of her pussy.

really i thought it was good ^_^ and to the dick munch who said that about the story i wanna grab ginger and stick it where it hurt >:| lol witch is not me cuz imma sub, DOESNT MEAN I CANT BITCH THO i though the story was good for a learn in story writing it still made me wet sooo keep getting keep wrighting and write about stuff u actually do, one you can detail it better, secound makes it more likly hood of me reading it :D

... or possibly a synopsis for a much larger and well-rounded piece. You really should take the elements of this story and weave them into something with a little more for your readers to 'go at'. There is nothing wrong with it, but even in our modern, instant-gratification world, this felt uncomfortably skimpy.

Please re-write it and bring it back to us; I'm sure my 4 will then become a 5 with no trouble whatever.

Thank you for sharing your work and your talent with us.

Please please right more