by jazztime
... or possibly a synopsis for a much larger and well-rounded piece. You really should take the elements of this story and weave them into something with a little more for your readers to 'go at'. There is nothing wrong with it, but even in our modern, instant-gratification world, this felt uncomfortably skimpy.
Please re-write it and bring it back to us; I'm sure my 4 will then become a 5 with no trouble whatever.
Thank you for sharing your work and your talent with us.
really i thought it was good ^_^ and to the dick munch who said that about the story i wanna grab ginger and stick it where it hurt >:| lol witch is not me cuz imma sub, DOESNT MEAN I CANT BITCH THO i though the story was good for a learn in story writing it still made me wet sooo keep getting keep wrighting and write about stuff u actually do, one you can detail it better, secound makes it more likly hood of me reading it :D
i like the general story but you needed to add more supporting details-
tell me about the crop,tell me about her facial expressions and sounds as she climaxes.
also you didnt mention the vibe until you were taking it out of her pussy.