All Comments on 'Five Trailers, Lot D'

This is hard to read, disjointed, and written terribly.

Linda fucked up her own life. She wasn't going to let that happen to her daughter.

These stories are too real. Could've been a terrible situation for Sydnee. Thankfully her mother had good awareness.

Love this Five Trailers series. Too bad Angela is going to be a worse version of Linda.

I hope Sydnee makes it out.

story was ok but didn't understand the ending if it was one

Well worth a five star rating to me.

Know so many people just like your characters, so the stories are always a joy.

Don't understand complaint that you are hard to read. Guess some just can't concentrate.

Well that was incredibly depressing!

It was hard to feel sorry for Ralph, when he must gave known Linda's reputation at school. A girl doesn't get gang banged by 9 guys in one night without rumours spreading like wildfire, especially as that wasn't the first time she'd behaved like a slut.

As her father said, "Once a stupid brainless whore..."

I gave you a solid 4* Your style is relentlessly sobering & the massage very clear.

keep up the good work. :)

This one is. Pretty bleak, even as a counterpoint. Cats get run over in the street but I don't like thinking about it.

The only sympathetic character here has been dead for 10+ years.

His youngest daughter perhaps as well but somehow this story was ‘about her’ and yet it turned out it was more about events from her past she doesn’t even remember. Just a weird structure.

I keep waiting for Etienne to show up with a sack a crawfish tho...

Dark, but brilliant. She's human, and very obviously a flawed one like most of us. Gritty story, thank you for sharing.

Rnebular

This submission just reminded me of those foolish, crazy, irresponsible and reckless days when one is still young, thinking you are invincible and adult. Only one, perhaps seemingly minor at the time, action can cause a lifetime of sorrow and regret.

I don't believe in fate so much, but it seems some people never manage to get out of the ditch they landed in either through the selfish or thoughtless actions of others or even their own. Why I don't know. Perhaps the sins of the fathers.....?

Much more can be said, but in the end this one brought a tear to my eye. Raw, but high to the right on this one..

FWW

JB must have been in a very dark place when he pushed this story out. Not a single likable character in the lot. I wonder if the cops will bust the meth boys.

Into literature. Great work.

This can stand on its own but we would like to know a few things. Did Buster get convicted? Does Angela and the Meth gang get caught. The whole group could be traced from this incident. Could Angela get a little redemption by helping the cops this time? If you don't do a part 2, that's fine but please consider it. Thanks anyway for expanding your Cajun universe.

is a product solely of your imagination, but I fear that it--and many of your other tales--may be somewhat cathartic. If so, I also hope that your soul has been somewhat healed.

And gritty, but at least she put a hard stop on the meth. I wonder if we will be hearing more about sgt. Pile and sydnee 😉

Very dark, but alas very human.

I'm unsure if you needed the arc with the daughter, except to show what generational poverty looks like in many of the country's rural areas, including the current meth epidemic. it didn't really add over much to Linda's tale of weakness and consequences, except to show Linda was still suffering from those past events so many years later with her depression and drinking and loss of her two older children.

Well written. Thanks for the story.

A look at the underbelly of human nature. Certainly nothing sexy or erotic. And given the depressing tone of the entire story, it just wasn't entertaining. Like falling into a Black Hole. You claim to post your stories here for our enjoyment. I think you HAD to know there was no enjoyment possible in this story. Not worth the time spent to read. Thanks for the effort but please don't do this again.

1 star

Too dark for my taste.

And there was no real retribution.

because it was a good story. did nothing to make my mood content, better, but only worse off. and i have enough bad real life shit to puzzle through and grow over.

consider throwing a bone for us to gnaw on. maybe a bigger man making that sociopath his bitch? idk.

"the"; "of"; "to"; "and" - you're writing in shorthand instead of full sentences.

nope. Authentic Cajun. Diversity rules!

Life is tough, especially in a DeGarde trailer park.

Gee, two DeGarde stories (and a JimBob) in the same day.

Coincidence? Doubt it!

5*

What a slice of life vignette. Well done. I look forward to your stories all the time. Good dialogue, scenarios that can be derived from life, people we can relate to. Keep up the great work. SF VET

And very well done, of course! Gritty story, gritty style, gritty outcome -- so what's not to like? ;-)

But after that journey through the slough of despond, I think I need to go worship the porcelain god my own self....

Thanks for your contributions here. Like Forrest Gump's momma said, "you never know what you're gonna get!"

Great plot and compelling emotions, but the behaviors and consequences are inaccurate for a tale of redneck Southern culture. More likely:

Aaron would not be hating his mother Linda because Ralph was dead, he would be hating Linda because her actions compelled Ralph to kill Buster with a shotgun, and Ralph is now in prison. No small short southerner is going to take on a huge experienced street fighter with a beer mug, unless it was full of gasoline, and there are no witnesses. He would still kill Buster, but he would let him burn for a while first. Aaron would also be hating his mother because, lacking Ralph's income, Linda would now be a prostitute, and would be planning to put Sydnee out doing the same. Linda is a guiltless whore and couldn't care less what her parents, what Ralph's parents, or what anyone else thinks about her whoring. It pays the bills, and reaffirms her twisted sense of still being desirable. Linda's choice of anesthetic would not be Vodka, but Meth. Linda is estranged from her daughter Morgan because Morgan married a black man, and Linda is a racist.

The only redeeming thing Linda might do to help her family is get herself killed by a drunken UPS driver. Just hope it happens before Sydnee gets pregnant or hooked on Linda's meth.

Stick with a culture you know and understand.

Wow, that was depressing. No hope or happiness in the whole story. It was tough getting through, to be honest. I love your stories but this one was too sad for me.

Jim Bob I don't care where your from, you write some true to life red neck stories. Some cracker Anon wrote, you shouldn't write Southern red neck stories. Well how about Northern Red Neck stories! Meth is an epidemic up here in Ohio, that's about as North as you can get. Every writer that tells Meth stories are telling real life, tragic, sad stories. I thank you for this one.

one would hope she had some backup in this situation, TK U MLJ LV NV

But, a little shot of realism. My pop caught me and Mikey smoking a Doobie when we were 13. He talked with Mikey's folks and Mikey moved away. 50 years now and still have never since seen Mikey. Don't do drugs either.

Stories like this are the reason you are one of my favorite LIT authors, thanks for sharing.

You make me feel that I know your characters and their moments intimately. Fine work

I absolutely love this weird ass universe you've created. Keep 'em coming.

I hope you write stories about people on lots E-Z, as well. Thanks for posting. Your stories always make my day.

great story 5*

["But I can see, once a stupid brainless whore, always a stupid brainless whore," Al said and left the room.] That pretty much says it about a lot of folks, sad to say. Signed: BTW

Rough as a trailer park on the other side of town. No one writes with the grit of JB44. It ain't pretty, but it is fun.

Did I miss what happened to Buster?

What happened to the end of the story?

Sentencing would have been nice. Fate of Angela too. Started good but left many questions.

Reading again. The other comments are right. I hope Buster enjoyed Angola for a long time. Linda was punished every day her entire life.

I really need to be in the right mood to read some of your stuff. Dark, sometimes I like dark.

I know there are some readers who wish for a very detailed ending to the story, but I really like the ending. It lines up with Edgar Allen Poe's "Tell Tale Heart". I think the "thud" the wife hears is the best punishment she could have received. Sometimes you don't need an explicit ending.

What happened to Buster?

Dark 5*

Thanks for sharing your work!

Great life story.

I would of liked to know how long Buster's prison sentence was and who took him for his bitch in prison! As usual, your stories are brilliant, qwerky characters and entertaining! 5*

Dobbin55

Don't care for any of these critters but tho dumb-ass Buster is a big, bad man in the bar, he's a little man on the street. Our boy's big mouth will buy him a 22short in the back of his head and a swim in Lake Pontchartrain - motor mouths are bad for business and cause trouble for everybody .......

Very good, but very dark story. Five.

A sad tale. She brought it on herslef and others.