Floodgates Ch. 02

Thank you so much for kind feedback on the first chapter of this series, I always adore any comments. What I hope for in my writing is genuinely portraying sissy experiences which are close to my own in real life, and something that feels like it could actually happen to you or me. I love completely OTT erotic fiction but that's not what I'm going for here, so if extremely heightened sissy action is what you're looking for this may not be your thing.

If you like this chapter, I'd love suggestions on where you'd like to see this go next, although I obviously do have some ideas...

Emma

**************************************

"Good girl, Carla. We are going to have so much fun. Welcome to the sissyhood," exclaimed Lucy.

The sissy who I had only encountered a few hours ago, my original intention to fuck her and yet... instead here I was standing in front of her bedroom mirror wearing her purple lingerie. At that point my mind was so frazzled with a mixture of emotions that it was hard to say if I had regrets or not, but the way my dick was poking out of its lace confines showed that physically I certainly had no doubt. This foray into sissydom was turning me on. I was as rock hard as I had ever been with any woman before. I'm not sure if I've ever been as hard as I was in that moment, then or since.

"Still feel okay?" Lucy's soft voice inquired.

I'd forgotten she was standing behind me for a second. I turned to face her, blushing, but remembering how earlier she'd highlighted the absurdity of hiding anything from her out of shame, when here she was before me clearly embracing the complete emasculation and humiliation of being a sissy by willing encasing her penis in a pink plastic cage. If I was trialling this lifestyle for one night only, might as well be honest.

"I think so. It feels, somehow, right. I know that makes no sense."

"It makes perfect sense, Carla. Just took you about a decade longer than me to realise how right it was. You silly thing!"

Being here with Lucy, having this first experience with someone who completely knew what it was like, was incredibly comforting. If I'd ever plucked up the courage to try this by myself, the shame and embarrassment might have stopped me going through with it. But the smile and pride in Lucy's face, just seeing that this life she had chosen made her so happy, gave me the slightest glimmer of hope that I could become something similar and still be that happy, and my own doubts and fears could be dealt with in time.

"Can we try on more?" I squeaked.

"Of course we can Carla. I have dresses or skirts, there's tights and stockings... OOH! How about makeup?"

"Make-up sounds amazing," I replied, already subconsciously trying to put on a more high-pitched, more feminine voice than normal.

Lucy strode over the room to her vanity table, which was filled with all manner of lipsticks, powders and make up brushes and patted her stool for me to sit down on. I sauntered over and delicately sat down. Suddenly I was way more conscious of every moment and how I held my body in flow. Perhaps it was the delicate nature of the lingerie. Perhaps it was the half a bottle of wine I'd already had.

"Okay, okay, I've never really done this for someone else before so I'm not guaranteeing perfection," Lucy said while dabbing a brush into some beige powder. "Pay attention because I will be quizzing you at the end Carla."

I giggled and Lucy pouted at me with faux-sternness.

"I'm serious! Real girls from a young age have to learn so much of this make up nonsense just to get by and men have no idea! The cost, the time, the practice!"

"Nonsense?" I said, raising an eyebrow. "You certainly have enough of it."

"Well I'm girlier than most real girls," Lucy shot right back with a playful smirk. "Don't answer back. We're starting with foundation, now hold your head up and look at me. We're similar skin tones so you should be okay with what I've got."

Our conversation was flowing much more readily now than the stilted attempts to be her domineering master when I first got here. I did exactly as I was told, chin tilted up and eyes closed as Lucy set to work applying foundation to my face. If there was actually a quiz at the end, I'm not sure how well I would have done on the sequencing but at various points, Lucy painted on highlighter, blusher, concealer, bronzer to my pretty little face. We hadn't even started on the good stuff yet like lipstick and mascara.

"What you said just a minute ago, Lucy..."

"About the quiz? Don't worry, Carla I was only joking..."

"No, about realising that... all this... felt right a decade earlier. Has it really been that long for you?"

Lucy paused for a brief moment, make up brush in hand still, clearly recollecting.

"Near enough. 16 was when I first stumbled upon the term 'sissy' online and began to find out all the subtle differences in this world and really work out who I was. Then as soon as I turned 18 and moved out of my parents for college, I was buying girly stuff online. Then graduated to getting it in person, then wearing it to meet up with guys and the rest is history. But I knew probably since I was a toddler that I was gender non-conforming, shall we say? I was ALWAYS trying to play with the girls. Always trying to find a way so that I could fit in with them somehow. I even remember there were times where we'd play games and it was girls versus boys, and if the boys lost then the girls would put lipstick on them as a punishment. Well of course I did everything I could to sabotage our efforts and be on the losing team."

"So you wanted to be a girl?" I asked, as Lucy tilted my head to one side to start with the blusher on my left cheek.

"Who knows? It wasn't so much about wanting to be a girl as not wanting to be a boy probably and wanting to explore the alternative. Most of it was at a subconscious level. I didn't know when I could barely wipe my own ass that maybe masculinity wasn't for me. But I guess I could sense it."

"And you still want to be a girl?"

"You mean am I trans? "

"Yeah, or I guess I mean, do you want to be? I never really know the right terminology," I spluttered.

"As far as I'm concerned if you think you're trans then you are. But would I say I am? No, probably not. What day of the week is it Carla?"

"Friday," I answered, bemused at the random question.

"Yeah well ask me again on Monday and I might have a different answer for you, honey. I'm very much what is known as gender confused."

We both laughed. Lucy began rifling through a drawer in the cabinet for something else and as she bent down, I could see my face in small mirror built into the table that she'd been standing in front of. By now, seeing myself "en femme" wasn't too shocking but I couldn't believe how smooth my face looked. When she was done picking out a mascara, Lucy went on with her story.

"Don't get me wrong, there's been points when I definitely thought I was trans. Wanted to transition, get on hormones, grow myself some tits, the whole lot."

"So what's stopping you?"

"A couple of things. I think for a lot of trans people, sadly they hate who they are in the gender they were born in. Loathe their bodies. And for me I've never felt that. Never had that dysphoria as they call it. I love certain aspects of being a guy. And when I have sex with men, I like the fact that it's 'gay sex'. Nothing about it feels very hetero."

"No I imagine it probably doesn't," I chuckled.

"And yeah sex... a lot of it, the dressing, the sissy submissive attitude, this thing," she said and gestured to the pink chastity cage between her legs, "is all linked to sex. In my head, it's all a kink. Being a sissy is a complete fetish, a fetish I adore, but it's not a gender identity. Do I have a confused gender identity anyway? Absolutely. Do I always want to dress up like this for the rest of my life? Of course I do. But for me, I think it's important to separate the two."

I tried to reflect on everything she was articulating to me but it was all somewhat new and confusing. Gender politics was alien to me.

"Deep down I know a lot of the sissy kink is problematic and to be honest, probably quite misogynistic. I absolutely know that being a woman isn't inherently the same as wanting to be on your knees, bound up and servicing cock 24/7. Maybe some fucked up part of my psyche can only let myself want those things if I associate it with feminity... sorry I am completely going off on a tangent! This isn't what you need right now."

"No no, I'm interested. It's good to know this stuff if I'm going to...", I started, but then left that sentence hanging and unfinished. We didn't need to discuss my future in lingerie beyond what we'd agreed to do for this night and this night alone.

"Well like I was saying in theory I know it's offensive to equate being a woman to the things I see as defining life as a sissy. Being weak. Pathetic. Dainty and vulnerable and needing to be punished."

As she said those words, more blood ran to my dick and my heart rate shifted up. The way Lucy was getting closer lost in her thoughts as she said them made me think maybe the same thing was happening to her.

"All those things, those lovely things, are linked to dressing and acting feminine in my head, but obviously the majority of women aren't anything like that. So just because I want to be all that, does that make me want to be a trans woman? No, no it doesn't."

"Right. I think I'm following you. It sounds like you feel bad about it, but you've obviously given it a lot of thought.

"Thanks, I've tried." Lucy nodded. "Ultimately, we can't control what turns us on. All we can do is be a bit thoughtful about why and how it impacts others."

"So, basically, you want to be a guy that's quite feminine?"

"Again, sort of but not quite. I'm not a real man. I'm not a real woman. What I am, what I love being, is something pathetic and lowly between the two. Not good enough for either. Only good enough to serve. For me, that's what the difference between being a sissy and a crossdresser is."

"Yeah, you said about the subtle differences earlier?"

"Exactly. Trans women are women. Normal women with all sorts of sexual preferences. Vanilla, kinky, you name it. Then crossdressers, ladyboys, transvestites, they're are all men. Men who love wearing women's clothes but at the end of the day they're still men. Some of them might even top you if you ask nicely. Then there's me. Us. Sissies who exclusively sit at the bottom of the food chain, only to serve. Destined to be in chastity. Craving utter humiliation. Addicted to cum."

"Fuck..." was all I could dribble out. I was hanging on her every word. "So how do I know if I'm just a crossdresser or a sissy?"

She gave me a knowing smirk. Clearly she didn't think there was much doubt in the short window she'd had with me as 'Carla'.

"I think you know, baby. But I have an idea. You said you hadn't watched any sissy hypno earlier?"

"Yes, that was a lie," I admitted.

"I thought so, naughty Carla! Although you weren't very convincing. Well, have you ever dabbled in the stronger stuff? Proper audio hypnosis." I shook my head. "Ooh, well let's do some of that then. I've never done it with another person, could be fun. It tries to go deep into your subconscious and hit those sissy buttons buried in you, but put it this way, I don't think it would have any effect on you if it wasn't something you craved anyway. Now, wrapping up here, we have the finishing touch. I think red would hold this nice together nicely."

She selected a red lipstick and slowly unscrewed it. I pursed my lips for her and in a few seconds I was all done, makeover complete. Lucy stepped to one side, allowing me sight of the mirror again and beamed at her handiwork.

"What do you think? Ooh, hang on, one more finishing touch!"

Lucy ran over to the wardrobe while I just gawped at myself. She really had done an incredible job. That decade headstart on me had clearly come in handy. The whole shape of my face had changed. I looked glossier, my cheeks more pointed in a sharp sense, yet everything was paradoxically also softer. My eyes sung. The lids were coloured a very faint shade of red, complimenting my lipstick just as Lucy had intended. She'd chosen well, the sheer fact of just having lipstick on them made my lips fuller and more luscious. Lucy danced back over with a blonde wig in her hand.

"THIS is the finishing touch, Carla," she squealed, absolutely giddy with excitement.

"Thank you. Is yours...?" I intimated towards her long brown hair.

"No, I used to rely on wigs but this is all me now. Takes forever to grow it out and then half your life to maintain but it's all worth it."

Once the wig was on, transforming me into a true bimbo blonde, I could properly admire the final transformation. I walked over to Lucy's full length mirror and stood in front of it for what felt like an hour. Just me, standing there in my wig, the gorgeous face that seemed to belong to a stranger and my pristine lingerie.

"Carla, say no if it's a step too far, but would you like me to take some pictures?"

When I turned to face her and nodded, I found myself batting my eyelashes in thanks. Just having the mascara on them made me think about how I could use them so differently. I fetched my phone, purposefully ignoring any texts I had from Carl's friends and family, just focusing on being Carla right now. I opened the camera and handed it to Lucy.

"Why don't you get on the bed, baby?"

I needed no further invitation and sat down, arms behind me, chest out and blew kisses to Lucy who began to take snaps. Before long, I was pulling my sultriest poses and expressions. I probably looked like a pathetic idiot, but I really felt like I was working the camera in that moment. Or maybe pathetic was just what I should have been going for. When we were done, she handed my phone back to me. The time in the corner of the screen alarmed me.

"Shit, I didn't realise it was that late. I've missed the last bus so will definitely have to be a taxi again."

"Oh, I'm sorry. You're welcome to stay here. Or have you got work in the morning?"

I wasn't sure how I felt about staying the night. Surely everything would be different once the sun had risen?

"Nope, I've got the weekend off. Just a boring 9-5 office job for me."

"Lucky you! What abouts is it?"

"Oh, I do project management stuff for a construction firm, it's hard to explain." It felt very surreal talking about my day job dressed like the sissy slut I looked like right now.

"Sounds fancy!"

"It's really not! Like I say, it's quite boring. What do you do?" I inquired out of curiousy.

"Well..." Lucy pondered. "I work in a bar, have done for years, but mainly these days I do... this." Confused, I waited for her to clarify.

"Have you heard of OnlyFans?"

Ah, the penny dropped. Who hadn't heard of OnlyFans? Certainly in the last year, you'd have to be a completely celibate monk or have been living under a rock to miss the nothing less than a revolution in the porn industry where focus has shifted onto individuals, taking control and ownership of how they chose to sell their bodies, cutting out the grubby middle men of adult entertainment. I nodded and for the first time in the night it was Lucy's turn to blush.

"Well to my great surprise, I'm doing pretty well out of that. So much so that I don't need to work at the bar much anymore. I'm only there still as I have so many friends there and I'd be there all the time anyway. It's the gay bar up on Gaddas Street, do you know it... no, of course you don't. But anyway if you want to stay, there's room in the bed. Shall we get in and listen to this hypno?"

I nodded enthusiastically. If it was anything as good as the sissy hypno porn videos I was into it, we were both in for a treat.

"Ooh, I'm not sure which one to pick? There are so many classics."

"You have favourites?" Lucy just looked at me and rolled her eyes in response.

"When you need to be humiliated as much as I do, you come to rely on these. Okay, how does 'Panties at the Pool' sound? Or Daddy's Delight? No, wait Bimbo Brain is probably one you'd love!"

"Sounds great."

While she was talking Lucy had sought out a pair of wireless ear buds from a handbag by her door, and was now offering me the left one. As I put it in, she found the right audio file on her phone. Systems at the ready, we both laid down on the bed. What a sight we must have been from above, two pale skinny boys lying framed against black sheets. One in purple lace knickers and bra, the other naked but for some fishnets and of course the cage. The last time we had both been in this bed together, Lucy had been begging me to fuck her. Now look at us. Thankfully this time, all the tension had gone. There was no pressure to be anything, to play the role of the brutish man that maybe I'd always kidded myself was for me. I was fully relaxed and comfortable in her company, whereas before I could barely control my body shaking with nerves.

Lucy rolled over so that she was lying on her side, facing inwards and I did the same. I stared into her beautiful, feminine eyes and part of me felt regret that I hadn't been able to go through with it earlier. I hadn't even kissed her, not properly, lips to lips. Maybe I never would now. But as she had said, tonight we were sissy sisters and that was something poetic in its own right. Different but beautiful.

"Are you ready, baby?"

"Yeah," I panted in reply.

The room was currently only lit by the lamp on Lucy's bedside table and she fished a hand back there to turn the switch off. Before she did, without even thinking about it, my hand trailed down to my pulsing cock, ready to stimulate myself to the erotic hypnosis we were about to dive into together. But I felt Lucy's soft touch on my wrist, intercepting me.

"Nuh-huh, baby. Trust me, you'll get more out of it if you don't."

"Okay," I said reluctantly. I was so turned on that my shaft was begging to be gripped tightly but I trusted her. She released my wrist and draped her hand inches away from mine.

She looked deep into my eyes with understanding. Our faces were so close that that urge to reach an inch forward and kiss her was still there, but was that the done thing between two sissies? We were hardly lovers anymore.

"I know how much you must want to. But I'm not going to either, I'm all locked up. You'll be more heightened if you just listen to the words and do what you're told. The hypno will tell you if you can play with yourself or not. We just do exactly what we're commanded. Now shut your eyes, Carla and relax..."

I took one look at her lovely face, took a deep breath and closed them. Lucy must have switched off the light after that because the dimness behind my eyelids went completely dark too. We just lay there, two sissies lying side by side, face to face in the pitch black, waiting to be humiliated. Lucy hit play on her phone and settled in.

Gentle piano music began to play in my left eardrum. A soft tippy tappy repetitive tune, the same three notes on her phone. Under that though, an even more low resonance bass line throbbed. The beats were spaced few and far between, maybe a minute apart.

"Just relax...." a sultry voice whispered directly into my ear. I could have sworn I heard Lucy emit a moan at that.

"Relax... and FOCUS... on my voice."

The same three notes. The same three notes, climbing up... then down... up... down.

"Welcome sissy. Welcome to Bimbo Brain."

Where Lucy's hand had intercepted my wrist before, she found my open palm again and snaked her fingers through mine. Despite everything it felt so intimate, even romantic.

Those same three notes. But this time an octave higher.

The bass notes lurking in the background ever so slightly increasing in frequency. Or was it my imagination?