All Comments on 'Floored'

but just too many problems--Endlessly long paragraphs--Poor introduction of characters---Unrealistic situation---Worn out plot---Bathroom sex?

The middle part of the body is a waist not a waste.

I didn't know that the story teller was male until it began to get hard.

Under all of my complaints lies a pretty good story- It just needs work

I enjoyed your story very much. I felt there was enough foreshadowing to make it credible. Don't worry about the grammar; lets see how crafty you are in getting these two out of this jam! Thanks, John

How do you explain this one ?

Please post the followup soon.

Despite the " critics " comments on your grammer , you did a damn good job of telling what I believe to be a true story . I had almost the same experience with my cousin many, many years ago and I understand completely . So far so good , do try to stay with reality rather than fantasy and you'll do well .

Don't stop there.......

No this story is not perfection in prose, but it sure had the desired effect on me. Don't worry about minor grammatical errors, the heart of the story was alive and beating. I voted with my right hand and it feels the story is a 100. Awaiting the follow up story with baited breath.

Awesome story.. cant wait till the follow up!

Pay no attention to such absurd remarks. This is one of the best stories I have read on here in a very long time... Please submit the followup to it :)

Very very erotic... and completely believeable....

Who cares about grammer and spelling. People who point out flaws like that have WAY too much time on their hands. Can't wait til the follow-up. HURRY!!

Fantastic read!!

When do we get the next chapter???

Many of us had been in similar situations in our youth, yes!

It is quite realistic and, therefore, erotic. Just two heads thinking all these minutes (the big head and the little head!), and the world ceased to exist. But that's only believable because the author has already established the bigger picture for the setting.

As one of the first commentators said, the only minor suggestion is: PARAGRAPHING.

Use shorter paragraphing techniques, for reading ease purposes, if not for anything else. Paragraphs with 10, 20, or 30 lines are very, very tedious to read.

Other than that, again, it's a great little love story between cousins.

(But, please, don't ruin the specialness of it by introducing group sex; there are too many stories like that already and they are, believe or not, more forgetable than incredible sex between two absolutely self-absorbed characters like these two. For example: No one, NO ONE, remember the name of 99.9 percent of those "infamous" Roman orgies; but most of the world know and remember Romeo and Juliet! ;o)

Thank you for the nice, short story, author. Made me recall some similar thoughts like that in junior high school which didn't pan out like your erotic here!

Hey, don't stop now! I just found your story, and got wet reading it! What happens with Josie? There is more to this story, I'm sure, can hardly wait to see it!

I especially remember that rapidly pulling out of my own cousin, not wanting to impregnant her, and just as this author, a lot of my sperm wound up right in her pubic hair. Probably didn't make much difference pulling out, as I slipped my dick right back inside her and it was coated with my come that was around her opening and in her pubic hair. We were lucky she didn't get pregnant that night or the many other times we had sex, and though, she has never said anything I think I might actually be the father of her second child, as we continued our illicit incestuous affair even after her marriage and still get it on once in awhile today.

this is a great story, if any of you come across a similar story, leave a comment here

When cousins share sleeping quarters at family event, urges take over and the inevitable happens. Sexy, good pace and believable progression. Thanks for sharing this hot and quality story.

needs a total rewrite follow the suggestions of the other readers and also learn the difference between nipple and areolas you switched them around. a good editor would have caught that so would you if you had proof read and didn't drop out of elementry school before you took sex ed.

why would they take sleeping bags to college? his should have been at his parents house her parents could have forgot to bring hers but there is no reason for them to take them to college ruined the story.

I know it is a small thing but your selection of Waste to describe the area above the hips is wrong, It should be WAIST not WASTE which is trash or rubbish.

that cock to ass contact is so hot i love cock rubbing up against some thicc ass especially when spooning