All Comments on 'Flowers in the Park Ch. 07'

Well done! The story is moving along again! 5 stars. When will little Wes make a reappearance? Hopefully he'll be back before he is needed as the ringbearer.

You're telling a cute story, but it's a little too Disneyfied, meet-cute and it's missing the one element that lifts a story from a cute tale into the realms of literature. it needs conflict! Five pounds of M&Ms isn't an important enough gain or loss to hang a story on and you've telegraphed the conclusion that thgey're going to end up between the sheets - no suspense there. So maybe Little Wes's mom's new husband wants to adopt little Wes? Or he's taking a job on the West Coast and moving Mom and Jr. far away. Give your readers something to worry about, something to involve them in your character's emotions. As Shakespeare put it, "The course of true love never did run smooth."

Great chapter!

5