Fly Away

He said that even if we could get a judgment against them, which was far from certain, getting the money was an entirely different thing. It's a "blood from turnip" situation, he observed. So, no matter how I look at it, I'm screwed.

A few days after I got the bad news about my house, as I was surfing the web with my iPhone, a pop-up window appeared. It said: [A former believer has rejected God. The punishment will be three curses. The first curse is underway. Two more curses will follow unless there is immediate repentance.]

Really? A Curse?

I concluded that the curse declaration had to have been sent by one of three people. It could've been sent by Tim, Jeremy, or Elder Simpson. No matter who was responsible, it was a dastardly thing to do. It certainly was not a "Christian" act. How did they get it to appear in a pop-up window on my iPhone screen? That's a mystery in itself.

It was two days later when I began to believe in curses. Somehow, the city got word about the condition of my house. An inspector came out and my house ended up being condemned. That meant that I had to vacate the house immediately. Then, I had thirty days to start getting it repaired or have it torn down and removed from the lot. The only other option was to sell it to someone else with full disclosure of the rot and mold. What are the chances of that resulting in a sale?

I also found out that insurance companies are happy to collect their premiums but unhappy to make payments. They would have covered replacing the roof, but rot and mold were not covered by my policy. My loss would be huge!

I knew that paying $20,000 to repair the house was not an option. Having it torn down and hauled away was priced to me at $8,000. Figuring that I might get $12,000 for the lot, my loss would still be $76,000.

I talked it over with Steffen and he, rather reluctantly, invited me to move in with him. It presented some complications when it was his turn to have the kids at his place. Also, it allowed me to see some sides of him that I'd never seen before.

We'd been lovers, and as such, we were together a lot. But we both had our own little domains to retreat to, which meant that we each had our privacy too. We had the best of both worlds.

When I moved in with him, we were always together except when one or both of us was at work. There's a hell of a difference. Things that didn't bother me when I witnessed them occasionally, bothered me much more when I saw them repeatedly.

It was a bunch of little things. His facial expression when I said something that he disagreed with. How quickly he got mad when something went wrong. How opinionated he was about people, especially my friends. Of course, there was the universal problem of leaving the toilet seat up.

There was nothing big, just a lot of small but annoying actions and views. I was especially disappointed in the way he treated his children. He wasn't very tolerant and was very quick to punish. It wasn't my place to interfere, so I didn't say anything. His parenting skills weren't even close to what I'd seen from Tim.

After a month had passed, I was on my way to work one day when I saw Tim's truck parked at the hole-in-the-wall café where he liked to get breakfast. I decided that it was about time to confront him about the curse-message fiasco.

When I entered the cafe, he was sitting at the counter. I sat down next to him and said, "Let's get a booth."

He looked at me with a strange expression on his face. He signaled the waitress, picked up his coffee, and walked to an open booth.

I sat across from him and ordered coffee and a Danish. When the waitress left, I looked him in the eye and said, "OK, Tim. What's all this curse-message shit about?"

His look convinced me that he had no idea what I was talking about. I'd lived with him for enough years to know how to read him. "What are you talking about, Holly? This is strange even for you. What do you mean by curse-message shit? Guess you need to enlighten me."

I said, "Before we get to that, look at this," as I showed him the condemnation report from the city. He looked startled. "I heard from the kids that you had a problem with your house, but I never heard about it being condemned. Can't you get your money back from the seller?" he asked.

"I tried that. I consulted a lawyer. He said I might get a judgment against them, but it was a long-shot since we would have to prove that they knew about the problem when they sold. Even if we got a judgment, there's very little chance of getting any money. They divorced, are broke, and have left the area. The lawyer said things went pretty bad for them financially after the divorce."

"I can relate to that. Been there, done that," stated Tim.

I ignored his comment and showed him the curse message saying, "If you're not behind this message, then I think it has to be Jeremy or Elder Simpson."

"Holly, how do you think it would help me to do anything to hurt you? I need things to go well with you and your lover-boy so he'll marry you and I can start keeping some of my salary. I swear to you, I know nothing about that message. As for Elder Simpson, he died two months ago. How did you not see that in the paper? His car was hit by a train. It was all over the news."

"I guess that might have been when Steffen and I were overseas. I didn't keep up with the hometown news."

"The kids told me about your trip. That must be nice. Wish I could afford a trip."

I ignored that comment. "Guess I need to talk to Jeremy. It must be him doing this," I muttered.

"Holly, he doesn't like what you did to me and our family, but he'd never do anything like that. The boy still loves you. He just can't handle the fallout that you caused."

"So, where did this message come from, Tim? Do you expect me to believe an angel sent it?"

"No. I think you should be looking at your lover boy's wife and extended family. They're the ones that got hurt the most by your actions. I got knocked down, but they got knocked out!"

"His wife seemed to take it pretty well, Tim. She doesn't seem like a vengeful type of person," I replied.

"If she took losing her husband and family with no thought of vengeance, then she's a saint," answered Tim.

"Look, Holly, I know the fire chief pretty well. We play cards together once a week. I think I might be able to work a deal for you with him. You could offer your house to them for a practice operation. They'd burn it and clean up the lot at no cost to you. Then you could put the lot up for sale. I'm not saying you'd get your money back, but you could minimize your losses. You'd get a tax break too since it would be handled like a donation to charity. If you want, I'll ask him to give you a call."

I did some quick figuring in my head. A loss of $68,000 would be better than losing $76,000. Also, with the tax break, I might end up losing less than $68,000. I thanked Tim and told him to set it up with the fire department. I left the restaurant thinking about Tim. He had every reason to hate me, but I'm convinced that he had nothing to do with the curse message and I think his idea about donating the house to the fire department might be my best option. I doubt that anyone would buy a condemned house. I could get caught having to pay to have it torn down and hauled away. Donating it to the fire department would avoid that.

Two days later, I received a call from the fire chief. He wanted to examine my house to see if it would be a good candidate for a burning exercise. He asked about the mold, and I told him the whole story.

I met him at the house and he examined the affected area and then said that he wanted to have a structural engineer examine the damaged area to see if it would be safe for his men to do the burning exercise.

The engineer arrived about an hour later and completed his examination. He told me that he would give his report to the fire chief.

The next day, I got a call from Tim. He told me that he had some good news for me. "The structural engineer's report found that the mold in the house was not toxic. He had it checked by two different labs and both confirmed that the mold was not toxic. The original report was in error. The dry rot could be repaired and the non-toxic mold could be easily removed. A local company could make the house safe and inhabitable for around $5,000. They can have the project completed in a week."

Needless to say, I was overjoyed. Boy, am I glad that I decided to stop and talk to Tim that day! And I'm so thankful that he took an interest in my problem. Steffen hadn't been any help at all! It was thanks to Tim that we discovered there was no toxic mold and that the rotten wood could be replaced at a small cost. Who was behind all of that false information that resulted in my house being condemned? Could I sue someone?

Rethinking:

Two weeks later, I was back in my own little house. I was very happy to be in charge of my life again. The truth of the matter is that I didn't enjoy living with Steffen all that much. I believe he felt the same way. I'm quite sure that he was relieved to see me leave. That also marked a considerable decrease in the amount of time that I spent with Steffen. Our dating slowed down to a crawl.

When I threatened to sue the company that had made the false report about the mold, they settled by paying for the repairs. The whole thing would end up costing me nothing and I would have a new roof and a sound house. It was at that point that I stepped back and did some soul searching.

It was not lost on me that when disaster struck, Steffen did hardly anything to help me. It was Tim that came to my rescue. After everything that I'd done to him, he was there for me. He could have rejoiced in my karma and left me hanging, but he's not that kind of man.

When our trouble all started, if he had indulged some of my craziness and let me wander around a bit; maybe get his-and-her motorcycles, I might have been content. I think "content" is a keyword for us in many respects.

I had been content with my life right up until the day that I wasn't. I was content with my husband, my family, my house, and even my church. My sex life wasn't anything like what I have with Steffen, but I was content with it. In fact, the contentment I felt during the cuddling-afterglow with Tim was as powerful in its way as the excitement that I felt with Steffen. Having said that, I know that I wouldn't be sexually content with Tim anymore. Not after experiencing Steffen in bed.

There's one thing about escalation; it's difficult to go back. Escalation feeds on itself. Once I'd experienced the new positions for sex and the almost painfully erotic sensations that Steffen provided, I was looking forward, not backward. How long would it be before I would need DP and threesomes for satisfaction? Escalation calls for more escalation, not less. I began to wonder if I could change that. Could I go against the grain and start downshifting?

Number Two:

My reverie ended when I received another pop-up message. This one simply said: [ The second curse is coming. Be ready.]

Nothing bad happened until the following Thursday when I got a frantic call from Anna saying that Maxell, my grandson, had been involved in an accident on his four-wheeler. He was in the hospital. He'd suffered severe head and back injuries. The doctors warned that there was a chance he would be paralyzed.

Steffen was out of town attending a car show. Without a thought, I picked up my phone and called Tim. He'd been informed too and was leaving work to pack a bag and head to Anna's house.

"Tim, do you want to ride down with me?" I asked. "I can come by the house and pick you up. I've already packed. I can be at the house in a few minutes. Just look for my Mustang."

"Holly, let's take my SUV. That Mustang holds some bad memories for me. Besides, there's lots more storage for luggage and all in the SUV."

"Ok, Tim, I get that. You know where I am. I'll be ready when you get here."

I called Steffen and left a message telling him what had happened. I informed him that I was heading to Anna's to be with her family and help out. I didn't, however, tell him that I was riding down with Tim.

When Tim arrived, I put my stuff in his SUV. While doing that, I told him that I'd received a second curse message which was probably why this "accident" had happened to Maxell.

"Holly, are you saying you got another of those messages and it predicted what happened to Maxell?" he cried. "Let me see it, Holly. What does it say?"

I brought up the message and handed him my phone. He took my phone and handed me the keys to his SUV.

"You want me to drive?", I questioned.

"You drive while I read," he exclaimed.

It was not lost on me that he'd asked me to drive his precious SUV.

After he read the message, he said, "It's not very specific. This could just be a strange coincidence."

"It could be," I answered; "but won't you admit that it would be one hell of a coincidence?"

"Yeah, I see that; but I can't bring myself to believe that they're messages from God either. This is strange stuff, Holly. Very strange stuff."

When we arrived, we went straight to the hospital. The news was not good. Maxell couldn't move his legs. He was paralyzed below the waist. If the paralysis persisted, they could try an operation. They called in a specialist from another city for a consultation.

When the specialist arrived and examined Maxell, he said that there was a 50/50 chance that Maxell would recover in the next week or two. If the paralysis persisted, the chances of the operation working were a little less than 50/50. He'd have to wait for the swelling to subside and treat the severe inflammation before he could operate. He advised us to schedule the operation now so we would be on the list if it was needed. We could always cancel if the paralysis subsided.

The family was in complete agreement that we needed to give Maxell every chance possible to get well, so we scheduled the operation. We all agreed to chip in on any non-covered expenses.

On the day that Tim and I left for home, things were still not improving. It looked like Maxell would be needing the operation.

Tim and I didn't have many chances to talk until we were in the SUV heading home. We decided that we'd go halfway and stop for lunch. He told me to pick which half I wanted to drive. I said that I wanted to drive first in case he changed his mind. He assured me that he was not going to change his mind. He handed me the keys once again.

"Tim, I feel like I'm to blame for what happened to Maxell. As much as I hate to consider that there might be some 'twilight-zone' stuff going on with those curse-messages, I can't get over thinking that they're meant to punish me."

"Holly, think about it. If this was done to punish you, why am I being punished too? I'm hurting about Maxell as much as you are. So, if it is punishment, it's directed at both of us."

"I was the one that nearly lost a house because of that first curse, Tim. You're just collateral damage in this second curse.

"Tim, I spent many years by your side and I've never heard a fire-and-brimstone sermon from you. But I've heard plenty of them from other preachers. I remember these words being quoted by Elder Simpson himself: [Vengeance is Mine, and retribution, in due time their foot will slip; For the day of their calamity is near, And the impending things are hastening upon them.]

"Tim, I think the impending things are hastening upon me."

"Holly, that quote is from the old testament. I think God treated us differently in the old testament than Jesus did in the new testament. It's kind of like parenting. When your child is young and just learning, there are things they can't understand no matter how hard you try to explain them. Sometimes you must teach them through corporal punishment. When they're older, you can reason with them. Corporal punishment is no longer required.

"Jesus taught us and reasoned with us through love. He moved away from corporal punishment. Do you remember the prostitute that was brought to him and he asked the person that was without sin to cast the first stone? He also forgave her."

"I do remember that story, Tim. Do you know what I think about every time I hear it? I always wonder why Jesus failed to ask them where the man was. It takes two to tango, Tim. As usual, only the woman was dragged out to be killed."

"You have a point there, Holly. I hadn't thought about that. In your case, I don't think for a moment that the so-called curse-messages are from God or that you're responsible for what happened to Maxell. What you did mainly hurt me. I've forgiven you. If I forgive you, how can God not forgive you too? You have to stop blaming yourself. I hope that you can forgive me too."

I can't believe this man. I've hurt him as much as one person can hurt another, and he talks about forgiving me. What kind of man is this? Why did I turn away from him?

When Tim dropped me off at my house, I kissed him lightly on the cheek and thanked him for everything.

Reconsidering:

My son still doesn't talk to me. My daughters tolerate me. They were nice to me when Tim and I were there to see Maxell. They were nice to me, but they were loving toward Tim. There's a big difference and I could feel it. Everyone could see it.

Tim did his best to include me in everything. I believe that Tim really did forgive me. His actions proved it.

Ever since Tim said that it was probably Steffen's ex sending those messages, I've wondered about Celia. Was she behind it? Did she have the computer skills to do something like that? Or was it Steffen himself? Were they both involved?

I just don't know. My mind is numb. All I know for sure is that I've made a horrible mistake. I wanted an exciting life, and I'd gotten it on steroids. I devastated a good man that had proven himself for many years for the excitement of a younger man that had provided all of the things that I thought I was looking for.

Steffen was very good in bed. Sex with him was never boring. And yes, we went on exciting trips together and attended exclusive events. Never mind that we financed most of that with my alimony from my mundane ex-husband. Never mind that Steffen never proposed to me or bought me a ring. He was not about to kill the goose whose "golden eggs" made everything possible.

Even so, things were cooling off between us. I began to suspect that he'd found someone else. What did I expect? He cheated on his wife with me. I'm not even married to him. What would keep him from going outside of our relationship? What would keep him from cheating on me? I knew the answer to that question; absolutely nothing.

Fantasy

Weeks went by. I hardly ever saw Steffen. I hadn't seen Tim since we got back from visiting Maxell. Talk about a mundane life!

I'll admit to being horny. I had a collection of dildoes, but they weren't giving me much satisfaction. That's why I was pleasantly surprised to see Steffen coming up my sidewalk right after I got home from work. I offered to fix us a meal. He said, "Don't worry about supper. You'll have plenty to eat. I've got a nice surprise for you. He picked me up and headed for the bedroom. I won't lie, I was ready for whatever he had in mind.

We were on my bed. He was heating me up with his fingers and tongue. He made no move to do anything more than foreplay. I was like a firecracker! My fuse was burning, but he wouldn't let me go off. This was not like Steffen. He'd never moved this slowly before. I was way past ready. I was about to get one of my dildoes when the doorbell rang.

Steffen jumped up and ran to the door naked. I heard him talking to someone in the living room. Why did he let someone in the house?

That question was answered when the bedroom door opened and he walked in with two other naked men. I looked up and said, "What the hell, Steffen?"