Fly Away

On Sunday, we did go to church. Everyone was so happy to see us. We were welcomed with open arms. It was like we had never been gone. We met Elder Young; he was Elder Simpson's replacement. He had an appropriate name since he was a very young-looking man. He was quite different in many respects from his predecessor. It was good to be in our church home again. I repeated the payer that I'd said on Friday while standing at the altar of the church where Tim and I were married. I had never prayed harder in my life.

As we were leaving, I saw Luke! He was talking to Elder Young. Tim was busy talking to some friends, so I excused myself and walked toward Luke. Elder Young saw me coming and said, "Holly, this is my big brother, Luther."

I reached out to shake hands as if we had never met, but Luke held my hand in both of his as he said, "Bro, this is the woman I told you about." Elder Young said, "I understand completely. I ask God to surround both of you with his forgiveness, love, and blessings. He's not done with you two yet."

Luke squeezed my hand as he said, "I sure hope not."

Someone else began talking to Elder Young, so I spoke to Luke. "Looks like there's lots that I don't know about you. Did you tell him how we met?

"Every detail, Holly. He reminded me that God works in mysterious ways. Can you think of a crazier or more mysterious way to meet the person that you will marry?" he asked.

"No, I can't. Are my ears deceiving me? Did I just get my second proposal of the day?"

"When it's appropriate, I'll do it right. In the meantime, just reserve a place in your heart for me."

"Already done, Luke. Already done."

With that, I walked back to Tim with a tear on my cheek. In my heart, I knew that I was walking from one good man to another. Deep down, I realized that I didn't deserve either one.

I'm so thankful for those last two months that Tim and I were able to spend with each other in our family home. I'm glad that the kids were able to visit often. We were all together for Independence Day. The view of the fireworks from our deck was spectacular. It was so good to be a family again.

I knew that the end was near. In my mind, I pictured it as the whole family gathering at Tim's bedside in our lovely home as he slipped peacefully into the hands of his God. When it came, it wasn't like that.

That night, Tim's pain had been worse than ever. I gave him the maximum dose allowable of the pain medicine, but it didn't help. All at once, he couldn't breathe. It was taking all of his energy just to draw a breath. He was struggling so hard that his chest raised off of the bed with every breath as he struggled to get oxygen.

Just the two of us were there. The family wasn't aware of this sudden development. I couldn't see him suffer like that anymore.

I went out on the porch and called our family doctor. When he heard what was happening, he sent an ambulance to take us to the hospital. He told me they would make Tim's last hours comfortable. I called Jeremy and told him where we were. He called the others.

When they let me into Tim's room, they were giving him some medicine via an IV. He was still having difficulty breathing, but the medicine seemed to be calming him. I let myself wonder if they'd found a miracle drug to make him better. I read the name on the IV bag. It was morphine. Not a miracle cure, but a source of some much-needed relief.

In a few minutes, he was sleeping peacefully. A few hours later, the whole family had gathered at his bedside. Elder Young was there too. We were all there with him wondering with each breath if it would be his last. It was nearly like I'd visualized, but just not at home. Somehow, he lasted through the night. It was like he didn't want to leave us. One of the nurses encouraged us to speak to him and let him know that it was alright for him to let go. I refused to do that. It wasn't alright. I wanted him with me as long as possible.

The first rays of sunlight were shining through the window. I held his hand in mine and vowed that I would never let go, and I didn't. I held it for the rest of his life, which was about fifteen minutes.

The alarm went off. We all looked at the heart-scope. It had flatlined.

I stayed with Tim until they came for his body. As they carried him out, I swear that I saw something leave his body and fly out the window. I ran to the window and watched it fly away. It looped toward our old house and then rose straight upward! I watched it rise and I waved goodbye saying, "Fly away, my love. Fly away to a better place where you will be fully appreciated. Fly away!

Through my tears, I saw Luke entering the room. He walked up to me and hugged me. He wiped my tears away and stayed right beside me as I continued to stand by the window. If I had a good pair of binoculars or a small telescope, I'd be able to see the house where our little family had been so happy. But I knew it would never again be a happy place for us.

It wasn't the house that provided our happiness. It was the family that had lived and loved within those walls. It was the laughter that echoed in the halls. It was the memories that everyone recalls. It was the joy that flowed from every window. It was the peace that permeated every nook and cranny. Most of all, it was the man that made it all happen. Now, it's just a house.

I was jolted out of my reverie when my iPhone chimed. I knew that sound, it signaled a new pop-up window. That's the last thing in the world that I wanted to see. Please, no more curses. My hand trembled as I reached for the phone. I looked at the message. It was just three words. It simply said:

[IT IS OVER]

[I guess everything's been done]

[If there's nothing here for you]

[If you want to chase the sun]

[Then that's what you ought to do]

[And fly, fly away]

[Fly away in the morning]

[Fly, fly away]

[Just don't give me any warning']

The End