All Comments on 'FocusTunes Ch. 06'

I love it- but he needs to get Miranda again! That part's driving me crazy.

well... that was three steps forward and two steps back. The story was going great. It felt as if Ben purposefully sabotaged himself... and then looked in shock when it fell apart. There seemed to BE NO reasonable reason why he would commanded Emily to tell his true crush that he had fucked her best friend. Thats dumb even for a teenager. Your story fell apart at that point because the outline fell to pieces. I had really liked this story before this.

You might need to check, this chapter isn't categorised under the rest of the story. Looks like you have a 5 part series and then this chapter separately at the moment.

I like that he's now in a mess of things, it will be fun to see how it gets straightened out with the three women! Thank you!

Don't tell me he is going to be a pussy again. He just has to take Miranda and be done with it.

It was good to see him royally screw up like that. He was getting so lucky with getting figured out by Heidi and making Emily listen in the middle of the school, it just wasn't believable anymore. Now he has the reason to go make Miranda his! Please post the next story soon, so sexy!

Very good, thanks you for sharing this story series. Please do continue

Very good writing and I liked that the length of it allowed plenty of time to get to know the characters.

What's next? No idea, but I'm sure it'll be a fun ride.

Miranda doesn't really have much of a point - she wants him, but she went out on her own for a brief fling to see if she could break away. His own fling (from her eyes) with Emily hurt her feelings apparently, but she is not used to facing someone with potential sexual power equal to hers. Miranda's feelings are going to come around (hopefully) as she recognizes that she's not the only sheriff in town. That's all separate from the enjoyable power game he has over her.

I appreciate the fact that your protagonist repeatedly eats shit for his arrogance. It keeps the story grounded for me.

Great story, you really see how the power has corrupted him. He complains about how Oliver cheats on Miranda, yet he is lying straight to her face about fucking her best friend while thinking about holding her down and forcing the FocusTunes on the girl he supposedly loves. Looking back on it, if he had been able to control his power trip, ego, and hormones for more then a day and not taken Emily he probably would of been able to have Miranda. As it is now, I hope he doesn't get her.

All your characters feel real, the scenes with Emily are hot as hell and I am looking forward to how their new relationship develops.

I'm really enjoying your story so far, the way you write Ben's point of view makes him feel like more of a person instead of a vehicle for the readers pov from sex scene to sex scene.

With the foreshadowing a couple of chapters ago that things may not be perfect with Miranda again, I'm worried this story won't have a happy ending and I am eagerly awaiting more chapters to see what happens

Enjoying this story, looking forward to the next one. Though I am beginning to wonder when he's going to wonder why everyone he uses that track on seems to be trying to go somewhere.

Should have ended at the "Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck." that way it wouldn't have ended on such a downer. But I love the series!

Really liking how the story is progressing. Also the fact that you keep the story grounded by not making Miranda give in and just let the sex happen. Keep it up and hope to see the next chapter!

Oh my fucking gods!!!!

Love it!!!! Looking forward for more.. <3

Please add the next chapter!!!

More!!

Read your story for the second time through. It really is that good! Please write more.

How "bombshell smokin' hot" a woman is described to be in any story on this site doesn't really matter. But what they say? How they act? What they do? That is what makes a character compelling. I want it known that Miranda is the hottest woman on this site, and that because of her emotional conflict, her witty dialog, her ambivalence over her self-respect and sexual desires, and so much more.

This was some damn good writing. I, of course, hope more of this story is to come, but if you don't feel it, don't feel pressured or guilty about that. But _DO_ feel pressured to continue writing in some capacity. You have a talent, and if fucking Twilight can get published, then we need more decent writers writing.

I hope this finds you well. And count me among your pleased fans.

Just read through a second time. Damn, this is hot. Can't wait to see what happens next.

Is this going to continue? It was a great series!