All Comments on 'Fools'

You made me feel the husband's emotions. Sometimes it seems like life has nothing good left to offer, but there's always tomorrow! Thanks for the story.

Sad, flawed, truthful, bravo, you made this overused theme your own. You did not create one-dimensional characters. They are complex. And that is what makes this Loving Wife story stand out from the rest.

Thank you, author.

but enjoyed the story very much. thank you.

This is the first time I've felt sorry for a cheating spouse. You created real characters with depth and a complexity rarely seen in Lit. and I appreciate your efforts. She had her own demons to face and in the end they consumed her and it was nice to see a husband not go crazy and kill everyone in sight. He suffered and drowned his pain in alcohol and had to claw his way out. She wasn't strong enough and her addiction destroyed her. And the letter scene at the end was very moving. Thanks again for the story.

This is a Perfect story.

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the contrast between your characters and Angiquesophie story is striking. Funny how you dont have the husband lash out and try to Kill the ex wife...

Great story. Thanks.

I came on here to read sexy stories and get excited and share said excitement with my wife, lol. I would never believe I would be sitting here with my wife both of us with tears in our eyes after reading a story on an erotic literature site. Amazing story, well done author.You have 2 new fans in my wife and I.

loved it had tears in my eyes at the end. story could have ended differently but yours was perfect!

Until a person has lost a TRUE love,(mine to Brain Cancer), you will never totally understand this type of love... Thank you

You have really grown as an author. This is a superbly beautiful story.

Erotic storytelling at its best. Thank you, jack_straw.

It brings up painful memories and if I knew what was in this story, I would not have read it. Jamie is not the only one with tears in her eyes nor is the father. However, the author did an excellent job.

Jack, you have written many excellent stories, but I think this is the best of them all. Wonderful character development. Excellent story line. Flawless writing. Great ending, with all the loose ends tied up. I stand in admiration of your story telling skill.

I found this story to be exceptional and truly by high definitions it is literature. Kudo's to Jack Straw

Excellent story. Writers who sooth my psyche and head get praising words, even if meaningless. Thsoe who disrupt my state of mind, or hurt my head and iq, they get cussed at. We need to stick to simple formula. <p>

Let's not try to act smart like Miss Teen West Carolina or our Great President bush of Crawford, Texas. It hurts the head to watch these two Americans. When my head hurts from just watching people speak no more than a few sentence, I guarantee you, they gonna get cussed at...

The story is excellent. It wanders a little in places and could have been written tighter but, compared to the tripe normally posted on this site, it is very nice to see something like this. For the idiot who commented on President Bush, President Bush has one college degree from Yale and another one from Harvard -- had excellent grades at both institutions too. Compare that to ... let's say Al Gore, who flunked out of Seminary College and had to withdraw from law school before he was dropped for poor grades. The individual who left the comment below evidently didn't get through 3rd grade English classes with enough retained knowledge so as to be able to construct proper sentences, use good grammar, or correctly punctuate his dumb little diatribe. How typical.

Very well written should be one of the top 10 in this section.

KEW

Your story had many very good points. One of the best was what made at least two of your critiques way off base. No he didnt last out at her, he in temporary insanity planned to murder his exwife, her lover, and himself. He actually had the gun to the head of his sleeping wife when his daughter which he had forgotten in his emotional state asked why he was going to shoot mommy. This single line prevented the wifes murder and his suicide. More important than revenge is getting the child away from the mothers influence. A cheating wife is never a good mother figure for a child. Not any more than a cheating husband is a good role model for his children. The line by the guy in bed with her commenting on her having pulled a gangbang gave you the knowledge of what she was and what she was going to become, nothing than what she was before a married her, a wanton slut, and now a slut who is paid for her services. (Wonder how many married stay at home women have figured thier living is paid for with their sex to their husbands so the job title for them is prostitute. They sell themselves for housing, food, clothing, medical care, and everything else they have or need.) I will take exception to one thing the author stated several times in the story, that she loved her husand. In her own way she loved her husband, her child, and her marriage. But giving yourself to others, breaking your marriage vows, giving your time, your energy, and your emotions to others prevents you from fully loving your husband, your child, or your marriage. She loved him in her own way, but that way was way below what should have been 100%. A cheater is a cheater, and being such requires that they demonstate disrespect, deception, lying, medical risk, physical risk, and lack of real love. It is hard enough for a married couple to stay 100% in relationship love with a child(ren), without bringing those outside the immediate family in the mix. A good story but laced with very interesting interludes.

Your growth and choice of subject matter have vaulted you to be among the very best here or any other site.<P>

You have progressed from writer to author to Story Teller in a short time to my recollection of your past works.<P>

You arouse plausibly, your characters garner respect if they should, and others get the consequence if called for.<P>

You are appreciated and looked forward to - soon I hope.<P>

With Very High Regard

Unreadable.

Jack, you have written many excellent stories, but this one was so very impressive. I really appreciate stories that have sad but happy endings. You have again given us a superbly, romantic story infused with more than a little heartache. Some wonderfully developed characters with a fine plot and writing that can't be faulted – yes so very impressive! Pete.

Let's see the wife cheats, the husband leaves, He wins and she loses as he remarries a Nobel Prize winner, Mother Theresa or someone of that caliber and she ends up hooking for a living with tragic consequenses. This sort of crap happens in everyone of these stories. I look for something different but never find it.

Rather than just bash the story as the anonymous evangelicals do cheating wife stories that don't carry such dire consequences for the woman I'll try and leave some input. Have you thought about exploring how a man could go from such a worthless human as a wife to such an incredible wife? I mean you have admit that a man that would have been attracted to such a cheating slut might have a problem getting such a winner as a second wife. Instead of just turning on a light switch and having him remarried try and explore how the man meets his second wife a little more deeply. This would help make the story at least somewhat believable and thus more interesting.

Additionally could you please, pretty please not have the cheating wife become a hooker and/or die at the end? I must admit I have only read a couple of your stories but this genre of story uses the worthless cheating wife charactor so much that if you haven't used it yourself before at this point you would only look like a very unimaginative writer copying others ideas and bad ones at that. Also here's a little hint, making the woman a villian and killing her off or leaving her destitute only makes you look very insecure and misogynistic.

hiding (him . . .her. . . it) self in the vast cloak of "anonymous", clearly was not looking for a story to entertain and amuse (him. . . her. . . it)self, but rather for some kind of redemption from a personal hell!

This "jack_straw's" approach to a LW story is NEW, REFRESHING and , to my way of thinking, quite UNIQUE! Congratulations to JS. I enjoyed this story immensely: It flowed well, had a variety of interesting characters, some of whom we couldn't exactly figure out; it had recognizable emotion on the part of the father and mystery surrounding the "demons in my soul" experienced by the "whore/mother". Some of these "anonymous" readers wouldn't recognize a good story plot even if it hit them face on. Most of them are too used to being hit square on the balls and react to that expectation before they've had a chance to appreciate a good imagination and a well thought out and well written story! JS has been one of my favorite authors for quite some time. This story has only served to solidify his place on my favorites list!

I think this is not the forum for political commentary; if I were Jack I'd delete the political comments. Back to the story - plausible and well written (like most of Jack's). Good thing Jason didn't pull the trigger!

I thoroughly enjoyed ‘Fools’, and have put it amongst my favorites of yours which include ‘Jealousy’ and ‘She Did Me a Favor’. Thanks for sharing it with us.

Bravo- I congratulate you. This has to be one of the best stories I've read on this site. It's interesting, entertaining and even has a touch of the erotic. I only have one complaint. The story is so well done I couldn't fine anyone to root against. I even ended up feeling sorry for the adulerous wife Jeannie. wonderful story.

60 year old George

Nothing personal against genghis khan or easylivin', but I deleted their comments. As gatorhermit said, this isn't the forum to debate the relative merits or demerits of George W, Bush. Not to mention that they were completely irrelevant to the story. If that's censorship, then I'm guilty.

you just can't change human nature and self destruction is inevitable. Great story, and very well written.

A good story of life and loss, highs and lows with emotion. Just good entertainment. Thank you<P>PT

I could only feel sorry for Jeanette for all her life.. A sad way to live and a sad way to die.. Fortunately, for him, he found what he needed, Kathy, after a terrible interim.. Very well written!

Author -Thank you for your efforts! Alvaron53 - seems to be that you IQ is showing again. Tsk, tsk! Show us your "real skill" and post one of your many "perfect stories" on this site. Of course, your branding as a "professional commentator" is without reproach, but we are sure you could enlighten all the authors on this site with your divine creative work. Or will you continue to disappoint the rest of us and continue your usual line of bullshit? Come on now, step up to the challenge!

Not much to add to the raving reviews which spoke to the merits of your story. I'd say that my experience was that the story became stronger and stronger towards the end -especially from the point of the meeting with the ex fifteen years later and on. You had great ending a part which fails so many good "Beginners" and "Middlers". <P>

My one quibble is I could not see the merit of the Fabula you chose to narrate the plot n your decision to start with the end shift back to the beginning move back to the middle and so on. A simpler Fabula which would have followed the time frame of the plot would have added suspense to your compelling narrative, other wise it was a superb story.

First class

I was really dissapointed with her why she never said anything to her husband about him working so long and traveling so far away i started to cry when he said she was killed in a motel or hotel by a man i sure hope they have a better love life together with Kathy .

Just re-read this one; & I had to comment. This is, in my humble opinion, the best writing you've done. The characterization, the bitter-sweet ending, all contribute to a great story. Thanks.

poignant story

Jeanette reminds me of an ex-stripper I used to date. Love was never our problem.

This was indeed a good story! My only complaint is that so many writers make the husband out to be such a decent, hardworking, and sacrificing person. He is then cheated on by his supposedly loving wife and mother of his child. She is revealed as a gangbang loving nymphomaniac whenever he is gone too much, whilst slaving away for the family. She is portrayed as wanting sex with several other men and becomes a sex-slave because she is not getting it at home as much as she wants. Then she is portrayed as really a loving wife that just couldn't help herself in becoming the hopeless, lying slut! I understand about needing the wife to become a cheat in these character plots. But, I have never met a woman in my life (65 Years of it) that was ever like that! I was a cop for 40 years and never met a hooker that was that much into sex either! I spent all my teens looking for such a person as most young men do. I looked all over San Diego and then the Orient as a Marine, and I never found that kind of woman. I always had to pay to get even a business-like sex act in both places. I just don't believe there are that many horny, over-sexed wives as you guys describe out there! Oh, I know that wives do cheat. My first wife had a few lovers over the 15 years we were married. I think you would have a more convincing story with the lonely wives just having a fling or an affair while the husband is away, just like a lot of men do! You know, the men that don't get enough at home supposedly? I don't read many stories about husbands who have nympho-like sex with multiple women behind the wife's back. Am I making any sense at all here? A lot of us readers would appreciate the stories we read (Even if they are fiction) to be somewhat realistic. Hell, reading the comments is almost as good as reading the story! A lot of the commenters appear to believe these stories represent real life and they do to an extent. Maybe "it is" a story telling tactic to make these loving wives sound like real lowlife scum or harlots to please the "torch the bitch types." You know, the "Self-righteous and Conservative" men that only think themselves worthy of an opinion? I'm sorry, this was just a thought, it's just that I see this continual trend. Do we really need to paint these women as complete Jezebels? Maybe these stories would appeal to women readers as well if more real to life? Maybe I just need an explanation as to Why? I am not a writer myself so I could just be ignorant!!!!! Thank you for reading this...

How Come your protagonists always come across like wimps even when they do the right thing?

A. Rooney

Shooting the bitch at that moment would have been over the top. Revenge is best served cold. Cold hate will easily overcome any love. I wish I could like Jack's stories better, but the wimpy nature of MOST of his protagonists rules that out.

My older sister was unfortunately much like Jeanette was in your story. She made some bad choices and hung out with the wrong people in high school, was able to put it behind her (for the most part), married a man she loved and had a son by him, then later messed it up and fell back into alcoholism and serious drugs; About 12 years after her divorce she OD'd and passed on to a better existence in the afterlife.

Your story was very touching and the characters were realistic and believable. Another nice job by you.

I am sorry for your pain. I hope her son is ok. For you I shed tears.

If he had just kill her that night and found and kill the other guy as well. Cheating sluts like that are only good when dead and no longer able to cheat.

Sorry but the attempt to make Jeannette sympathetic failed. She's just another worthless lying slut who could only make the world better by being dead and gone from it.

That is all I could stand so I stopped reading the garbage and rated the story 1*.

Well written

You did very well in bringing out the emotions of your main character. Instead of just telling and narrating, a trap which too many writers often fall into, you took the time to carefully sketch the physical indicators of those emotions -- the shakes while he steadily held the gun, the way he fucked his wife after seeing Jeanette, all the minute details -- and those helped the story ring true, more than anything. Thank you for sharing this with us, and please disregard the comments of idiots like DWMoronfuck. It obviously needs to go back for classes in remedial English, and it's too much to ask, I think, for it to actually have any skills in reading and comprehension.

Great story! Loved the characters and the plot development. Extremely well written and an absolute pleasure to read. Thanks for this wonderful tale.

let alone speak to her. The daughter had the right idea and what's with his mother, anyways? Continuing to speak to her? In what universe?

I really get tired of the anonymous comments in the LW section that are so negative about any reconciliation or forgiveness.

There is a sameness about the comments that suggests there may be about a half dozen anonymous people who feel obligated to comment so bitterly.

I never understand how the husband has any part of the blame? He was motivated and trying to do the best for his family, and some how that's wrong. Next time he needs to stay home and let the whore work, like she ended up doing anyway. 3 stars

husband did nothing except give a cheating slut a chance at a good life but she did not ant it.

Very nice storyline. Excellently done as usual. Thanks.

Love is amongst humans and humans have frailities. JackStraw did a beautiful job giving a display of what can go wrong. People in marriage need effort perseverance and communication to keep eachother engaged in their thoughts. Jeanette was wrong but they both shared some responsibility for their problems. Jeanette was the one that defiled herself and the marriage. There are no set of right answers but only more questions in this story. Pretty thought provoking but somewhat real.

Shocking!

The line about wanting to believe her.. Resonates with any male who has ever fallen for a woman.. He knew was trouble.

A pure coincidence maybe, but I've just read "Reading Faces" by DG Hear minutes ago. In that story there's a husband who found his wife cheating on him and then shot the whole family before he tried to kill himself. Now here we read about your protagonist thinking about the same, with the exception of his child.

Maybe it's only because of that coincidence or whatever, but your story really moved me. Thanks for sharing it with us!

Great tale. I'm glad the husband ended up with a great life after being betrayed by the cheating cunt. It seems no one believes in vows any longer. Why get married? I don't fucking know.

Damn

Frighteningly realistic. Emotionally dead on. The practical side of me is curious about the paternity of Jamie if her mother started fucking around 8-9 months after the marriage and clearly before Jamie was conceived...

Fucking good story!!!!!!!!! Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice? Not this time.

This is Longhorn_07's gem story......

My taste story. I like the recover from the betrayal with new beter woman as very TRUE ROMANTIC feeling and story genre! It may be a fetish for me, but such story as this can feed my recover fetish well!

I remember the feelings well, and this tale shows that those feelings are pretty much universal. Heartbreak, blinding anger, sadness, bitterness, and finally after several years, forgiveness. No reconciliation, but forgiveness and moving on. Would I take my ex back? Nope. My wife is the only woman I need. :)

5 Solid Stars.

His ex-wife Jeanette was such a sad person that I actually wept a little for her. Yes, BTB, but her life was so tragic after he divorced her, only to be murdered in a motel room by a john, it just bothered me. If it were my wife, I'd do the same thing, yet I just felt so sorry for 'Jeanie' at the end, not getting to see her daughter graduate from HS or University, nor to see the most important day of a womans life, for both the bride and the mother of the bride.

Five stars from this old crybaby.....

whats bad Is Its sometimes Us, TK U MLJ LV NV

There are so many things about this that disturb me. The one thing I'd like to comment on is that Jason would give the letter to Jamie on the day of her wedding is completely absurd.

A story from that time when the 50% of the LW stories deal with the sexual majority husbands...........

A good story...but sad too...the cheater punished herself by becoming a whore, until she found peace of mind when she was killed...She looked for it until she found it...In a way she was the one that BTB, or that burned herself...

A very sad story which rings quite true. What a very stupid woman to throw away her husband & daughter for some real sleaze bags who didn't give a shit about her; she needed to go to counselling before the temptation got so bad.

Just a small query, he went to his father's place to get a gun, he picked a 9mm pistol, ejected the magazine, found it loaded with bullets, replaced the mag & away he went. Now his Dad was a cop, so, my problem is this, any normal gun person with a personal gun safe, keeps it locked & stores his ammunition in a different place to the weapons & should NEVER leave a weapon loaded for safety reasons. I know the USA is a gun crazy nation but that's just plain dumb & in most other countries is probably illegal. I thought that was unrealistic but very likely possible being the States. 4 ****

But it was total fantasy. It makes not one iota of difference in the Court room whether or not Jeanette was cheating. He could have gone to jail for taking their child away that night. But had she called the Police and they had found the gun that was NOT registered to him, he likely would have done some jail time. Regardless, Jeanette's lawyer could have used the gun (although he didn't need it) as leverage. She got primary custody, child support and alimony until their daughter graduated High School. Then they sold the house and she got 50% of the profits. Oh - just to add insult to injury - she got 50% of his retirement. That is the reality of the situation and your story was SO far out there that it just wasn't fun to read.

The first inkling I had of trouble was when I called the house and Jeanette sounded out of breath. There was a sultry slur to her voice like she was a little drunk and had been on the receiving end of pleasure.

That by itself wouldn't have aroused my suspicions so much, except that I could hear the sounds of a baseball game going on in the background. Now, Jeanette didn't much like sports anyway, and she loathed baseball, calling it boring.

So what was a baseball game doing playing on the TV, if I wasn't there, and quite loudly at that?

FOR SOME REASON I'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO FATHOM. I made a snap decision not to tell her I was on my way home.

WHAT! - YOU JUST STATED THE FUCKING REASON ABOVE. COME ON AUTHOR GET A GRIP!!!

never hate her just what she has done?, so if i was your brother, i could skull fuck you child and you would just hate the act not the bastard who did it?

It is the sinner that burns not the sin, i want to run into someone like this just to see them destroyed.....great story till that line of thinking....booze not the drinker.....meth not the druggie.....guns not the terrorist.....which is to blame the hand that holds the whip or the head that tells the hand to whip......pussy.

Enquiring minds want to know!

If the author didn't tell us what state this happened in (and some states DO still have laws that allow cheating to be a factor in custody--"morals" they call it), then this story is set in the state of ScrewDaBitch, possibly even in the city of FuckHerSkankyAss, where the laws are WHATEVER THE AUTHOR SAYS THEY ARE!!! Come down off of your self produced pedestal, and join the "REAL" world of F-I-C-T-I-O-N. Get a grip people--these stories are not in "True Detective" magazine, nor are they purported as true tales. Take that load and chew on it. These stories are to be enjoyed (hopefully), not to be taken as gospel. Jeez!

Still five stars.

I guess this is testimony to open your eyes , especially when friends and family warn you.

Sad that her maternal instincts were so low as to screw around with her daughter present , kinda makes you think that was why she was the way she was. Just like men who beat their wives , their sons are statistically more prone to the same behavior , I'm sure that daughters who see such blatant whoring by their mothers in the early formative years are just as likely to act the same. It's truly a vicious cycle.

Saw on SOL where this author posted yesterday , incest so I didn't read it , but I really wish he would post some new LW tales .

5 *'s ( easily)

Not sure what everyone is smoking but this fell flat in the first page for this reader. One strains to understand the arc of the story. It was simply tepid all around.

Where in any of these Lit stories, but particularly in the cheating wife variety, does one find a husband who was driven most of the way to mayhem and murder and self-destruction and yet ten years later he spies the woman who destroyed his dreams in such a blackhearted manner and what does he do?

Does he slink out with white knuckles to curse his maker? No. Does he truculently deliver to her a rejoinder for the ages? No such luck for the reader. Does he elaborate any cloak and dagger plot? No - not exactly a disappointment there. No, instead he saunters over and acts protective of her and gets to manhandle some ball meat.

What is the reader supposed to learn from this?

Except for the confidence of grabbing other men's crotches the protagonist seems to be constituted like most other men whose lives were decimated by a woman and her infidelities. Originally, he sees red. But for reasons unknown he is all fine with it now. He sidles up and they tawk tawk tawk like two ol' gambling buddies.

That's not novel or interesting in any way. It's like sailing rail-under and reefed into thirty knot winds when somebody just cuts the line and she bobs up rocking and listing. Wow, that's real exciting!

Not.

After that, bailing was a forgone conclusion. But then after reading a lot of comments I decided to go back and finish the story. Again, nothing over 98.6° F. Just clichés.

Tell you what. I will get some rest and try this one again sometime.

On the last page, your verb tense changed from past tense to present-continuous tense. Very annoying; please edit.

where do the chances go when unused, TK U MLJ LV NV

The whore with a heart of gold! If Jason had another Bud light he might never leave her again...LOL jeeze can you possibly write something more stupid than that? She's hooking for a living and he's just about to give up his present wife and twins and his daughter to go back living with the whore? Just couldn't get past that bit of twisted thinking! The characters had nothing to like about them...so I gave it a 2.

Very well written and more true to life kind of story. *****

He didn't even consider the idea of joining in with his wife and her lover. He had a chance for a threesome and let it slip away. Good luck ever talking his new wife into one, it doesn't seem like she'd be the type to go for it.

Stupid.

The best revenge is a life well lived. Looks like he got the good wife, family, and success, while Jeanie just stayed a whore.

A dead whore is still a whore. Good riddance and what a great way for the evil ex to die.

Bit why would you risk rui ing your daughter's wedding for a whore. Stupid. Throw the letter out.

Well done, ignore the mentally disturbed anons.

Is a dead whore ex wife. Why the sympathy for her? She'd have offered up the daughter to one of her fuck buddies, if they asked for it. Some people are just worthless.

is inability of writer to realize what his own character is. Since all the characters in these stories are rednecks there is a little surprise that redneck behavior would follow so I don't understand why would a writer that writes redneck stories hope to moralize about his characters. There is an awesome author here "winterfrog" who never moralizes about his characters even though most of them are not rednecks. Jack_Straw is not bad in this regard but still there is this ridiculous flavor of pontification in the story that is uncalled for.

If one marries somebody who is a redneck found in a bar please stop moralizing when that redneck betrays you. Since this was your choice stick to it because you are likely not better than the person you are moralizing about.

He writes redneck stories without moralization part and he is great, not needing idiotic sex cliche parts. Way better than Jack_Straw.

If you like redneck stuff without moralization and without sex then read Papatoad's stories.

Should have ended it at the bar reunion scene.

Dark2Donut2, does it hurt to attempt rational thought?

Yeah, too bad you loved getting gang banged by fat disgusting slobs more

An okay read. Epilogue is a waste, lends nothing to the story.

We are all judged by our actions, its called personality. Yes we all make mistakes, and we pay for them. The actions that define us and the morals we hold dear, are what gives us character, thus a personality. Yes we have blind spots for people that are close to us, because we can't always be judging others, that is vanity. Its a messy life we live, but there are guild lines. There are 10 commandments in a old book, that says we shouldn't have blindspots. I wonder if infidelity is one of them?

And I'm forced to admit that you did it better. Some people may not like this, but I found it powerfully real. That said, he gave her the letter on her wedding day? Are you kidding me? You do it the week before. The girl would be a wreck on her big day. That's not right.

Really really need professional psychiatric help. What pure unadulterated drivel they write about exceptionally good stories. I guess it goes back to the axiom: Those who can do, those who can't..... BITCH! Keep writing, Jack, you're a good author.

Jeanette was a stone mess, but without her he wouldn't have Jamie. Great story.

Jeanette's behaviour was appalling and she ended up destroying herself, but rather than enjoying the BtB, it just made me sad.

She was obviously a really troubled woman and for just a few brief years, she was on the road to a brighter future. Then she ruined her life, lost her husband, daughter, friends and family, ended up becoming a whore and was brutally murdered. It was a tragic end to a woman hell-bent on self-destruction.

I read so many stories that has guy carrying torch for ex-wife but few cases personally know about hate took over and

Yes, you are angry, humiliated, horrified, ashamed, embarrassed and every other horrible feeling that comes with betrayal. Still, love doesn't always go away. You may have hate temporarily for the person and the actions but real love doesn't just disappear. It didn't in my case.

What a great story. There must be a very special bond between him and Jamie. Saving him the way she did that night and then growing up with the baggage Jeanette burdened them with has to create something strong. Good for both of them that he met Kathy. He ended up very lucky and much better off.

It's difficult for this technical mind to find appropriate words and arrange them correctly in describing your magical story. I read a lot of stories on this site but rarely does one touch my mind the way this one did. Thank You 5*****