Football, Tennis, and Mom

Have you ever come back from a job interview feeling unclean? Have you ever been interviewed by some retard who told you that because you have a college diploma, you're overqualified? Or too good looking? Or, god forbid, too sexy? That was Tina's problem.

Tina had a Masters in Philosophy. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. Guaranteed unemployment, right? Studying the great philosophers, most of whom were pissing in the wind, was a testimony to Tina's brain power. She was as smart as a whip. But not very smart when it came to picking a husband.

Her interview lasted an hour, during which time the guy kept staring at her breasts. He asked her if she could take dictation and type? Hello??????????? She was applying for an developer's job in a software company.

She was a respectable housewife, married to Ralph for almost twenty years. She had a 19 year-old son, Ralph junior, whom she called Junior. He was a sophomore in college, majoring in something or other. All she knew was, he spent most of his time on porn sites, beating off to mature videos. She found his wastebasket full of Kleenex. She had opened his laptop one day and found the sites bookmarked. Lots of 'mom and son' stuff, especially the Japanese videos. Someday she might ask him why he had so much free time. She never discussed her sex urgings with Junior because she thought it was inappropriate.

***

She wanted to get relief in the worst way. She figured going back to work would keep her mind off her pussy. Well, it wouldn't be long now. As soon as she finished the dishes she'd go into the living room where her husband Ralph was watching television, climb on his lap, and whisper a few lurid suggestions in his ear. That ought to get her what she wanted and needed, and fast! Tina grinned wickedly to herself as she finished washing the dishes, wiping her hands on her apron.

"Ummmmm," Tina sighed, getting excited just thinking about it. She could almost feel the heat of Ralph's big hairy body as he climbed on top of her. She could imagine his cock swelling against her belly. She could feel the intense excitement in her wet pussy, except for one thing: Ralph didn't engage in foreplay. Which was okay, because at the moment she was as hot as a firecracker.

To hell with the household chores. Moaning, dizzy with lust, she glided out of the kitchen. She couldn't understand why she should be so intensely horny, but most likely it was the crappy job interview. It was like being horny after a funeral.

Ralph was lounging in his favorite chair -- a recliner -- watching a Patriots game, a beer in his fist. He was wearing jeans and t-shirt and slippers, the perfect picture of the working man relaxing after a long hard day. Ralph was a welder and he really did work very hard -- by union standards. He had barely graduated from high school; he was almost expelled for being a bully. He was tormenting a transsexual class mate, but luckily the principal was gay. He understood the thug mentality of students like Ralph, especially this early in life. He gave Ralph a final warning -- get with the program or leave. Ralph left and had his diploma mailed to him.

He didn't go to the prom because he didn't know how to dance. Not that kids actually danced at the prom. They rocked back and forth, rubbing their peckers up against their prom dates. Needless to say, Ralph didn't have a girl friend. He just entertained himself by jacking off.

We fast forward to the present day. Ralph was a union man, which meant he didn't have to worry about being laid off. He had job stability, as it were, and was a good provider. And Tina had a feeling he'd really go for the little surprise she had in store for him.

"Hi, honey," she purred, slipping onto the arm of his chair.

"Uh-huh," Ralph muttered.

He was deeply engrossed in the game, and Tina knew better than to block his view of the screen. She nudged her hip against his shoulder. She'd wait until half time before going full bore to get his attention. There were few things Ralph liked better than fucking and football was one of them.

"They ought to kick that guy's ass," he mumbled as the wide receiver fumbled the ball. The score was tied at this point. Tina knew he wasn't talking to her or to anybody in particular. It was part of the ritual for him to complain. She looked down at the guy she'd been married to for twenty years. He was still strong as a horse, big, and powerful with 17-inch arms. His barrel-chested physique had really turned her on when she was younger and it still did.

Tina was in grad school when she met Ralph. Everyone said she might have had a career as a model or a dancer, or at least make good money as a pole dancer. But she had an IQ of 160 and wasn't about to suck dick for a living. All her closest friends expected her to be a career woman. Instead she married a high school misfit, Ralph West.

Tina's mother cried, and her father wouldn't speak to her for almost a year. Everybody said she'd thrown her life away with Ralph, that he'd never amount to anything. But now they had a home in the suburbs, two cars, and every labor-saving gadget imaginable. That's because he was a union man, a welder. He never worried about being fired, or terminated as they say. But Tina didn't marry Ralph for his money, because in the beginning he didn't have much. She'd married him because he had a big dick and he knew how to use it. He drove her wild. Even at the age of twenty two she couldn't get enough of him.

It was a new experience for Tina. She'd never lusted after a man before. She was always in control of a situation. She was still a virgin when she met Ralph. But only for two weeks. That was exactly how long it took Ralph to sweet talk her, and then fuck her. She didn't resist one bit. On the contrary, the moment she saw Ralph, she knew she was going to lose her cherry to him.

It had happened one Saturday night at the drive-in. She doesn't remember what movie they were supposed to be seeing. The car windows were so fogged up, they could have been at the beach. After the movie , Ralph found an isolated spot to park, and in less than five minutes they were at each other like animals. Some people would say they had good chemistry.

It was a night of "firsts" for Tina. It was the first time a guy had taken off her bra and seen her full breasts; it was the first time a man had removed her panties or seen her pretty pussy; it was the first time she'd seen or even touched a cock. But most of all, it was the first time she'd been fucked.

Tina remembered the whole evening so vividly, she could practically climax just thinking about it. She recalled that Ralph had her totally naked in less than ten minutes, and she hardly knew how it happened. He removed all his clothes, too, and helped her into the back seat of the car. Tina knew she was about to lose her virginity, and she was a little scared, a little apprehensive.

For such a big guy, a guy who could easily crush her with one blow, he was very gentle. He never tried to force her. He found that funny little lump of flesh between her legs, and he knew what to do with it. He rubbed her little joy button gently but steadily, and before she knew it, she was squealing and creaming all over his fingers. He had her very hot, panting, and wet in minutes.

She'd been dying to find out about sex, but Ralph was the first guy she ever really wanted to do it with. She waited, breathless, while he took her soft hand and laid it gently on his erect cock, letting her feel what it was like. What does a girl think about when she holds a guy's cock for the first time?

She felt a fleshy shaft, covered with a slippery foreskin, and it felt velvety, and had a nice feel to it. It wasn't totally rigid, but had enough flexibility so she could bend it around, twist it a bit. It sprang from a thick bush at the base of his belly, and it had a mushroom head. He called it his knob. When she tentatively caressed the knob, it drooled bubbles of clear viscous liquid onto her fingers. This made her want to smear it around a bit, and when she smeared it, more liquid could ooze out. She learned it was pre-cum. While she was impressed with her new find, she thought she heard Ralph's voice: "Baby, I want you so bad..." She thought 'baby' sounded nice, considering she already had an pulsing itch in her rectum, and she was wet as hell.

Tina hadn't said anything, no protesting, no fake bullshit about what kind of a girl did he think she was. She had her legs open, waiting. Ralph didn't know the meaning of foreplay; he thought it was a golf expression. Since Tina was already totally sizzling, he could skip the niceties like licking her neck, sucking on her nipples, or nibbling on her ear. What he was looking at was a panting blond with her hairy gash exposed, and her thighs glistening. He didn't waste any time.

"Easy," he whispered, "easy . . . it's gonna hurt a little. Always does the first time. But it'll get better, honey, I promise ..." She trusted him completely. It did hurt initially but not too bad. She had stuffed a cucumber up herself a few times. It hurt like hell when he gave a brutal shove and tore through her hymen. She clenched her teeth trying not to scream. "Now it's gonna get better," he whispered.

Again she trusted him. She clung to him, kept her legs open, and let him do it to her slowly, deeply, steadily until at last she began to understand what everybody was so excited about. She finally understood why fucking was so highly rated. By God, it felt good. In fact it felt terrific. She'd never had so much fun in her whole life.

After that first time, when Ralph took her virginity, she had her first orgasm and Tina became insatiable. She simply could not fuck as much as she wanted to, or long enough. That was always the problem, because Ralph would get off too soon. Just when she was warming up, he'd dump his load. Then she'd have to use her fingers to bring herself off. They got married three months later, so they could screw in a bed, not in the back seat of his car.

Now, twenty years later, things had changed. Ralph still had the powerful body that turned her on so much, but beer and lack of exercise gave him a paunch. His hair was receding, leaving him bald in front. He used to be a union Democrat, and now he was a right-wing Republican. At least he wasn't an Evangelical because he thought religion was bullshit. A lot of things had changed by the time Ralph reached forty -- but Tina still loved him anyway.

The only thing that really bothered her, the only change she didn't like, was that Ralph didn't seem so interested in fucking any more. Statistically this was not unusual, but a wife doesn't want stats, she wants to fuck. But Tina, as we know, was no dummy. Maybe he was bored. Maybe he was fucking someone else. He was only forty.

Sitting on the edge of his recliner, she thought about how to turn him on. It sure wasn't like the old days. She had to come up with more attractions, not the usual re-runs. She went to the gym, and did a lot of squats. That gave her a bigger butt, and she knew Ralph loved her ass. She stopped shaving her pussy, and she knew Ralph loved the natural look. Her pubic hair ran up to her navel, and back to her ass. When she got hot, her labia thickened and opened, allowing pussy juice to trickle out. Her groin looked totally obscene with her open pink slit and all that hair.

Today she was not wearing panties. No thong, nothing. From her cunt to her anal pucker, along her perineum, it was a visual feast.

Tina leaned down and blew in his ear. No response. She stuck her long wet tongue in his ear and wiggled it around teasingly. He blinked and grunted but didn't take his eyes off the game.

While she waited for the game to end, Tina hitched up her skirt -- not that it needed to be any shorter. It was already so short that her ass cheeks were exposed whenever she bent over. And Ralph was a leg man, so she gave him an eyeful as she pretended to dust the coffee table. She unbuttoned the top three buttons of her blouse to show her plump cleavage. Ralph was a tit man.

During the next commercial she leaned down to kiss him, intending to thrust her soft tongue deep into his mouth in a way that would really get his attention. Instead, just as she started to lean down, Ralph's big fist came up, holding an empty beer can.

"Gimme another beer, okay, honey?" he said, his eyes still glued to the TV.

"Okay," Tina said, disappointed.

She wiggled her ass on the way to the kitchen, but Ralph paid no attention at all. She had to be more subtle. The Patriots' kicker missed a field goal, and Ralph got pissed. When Tina put the cold beer in his hand, he only grunted his thanks and didn't even look at her. With a deep sigh she sat down again on the arm of the recliner pressed her hip against his shoulder.

"Ralph," she said softly, "I'm so horny I could scream."

"Umm-hmm," he said absently.

He obviously hadn't heard a word she said. She might as well give up until that goddamn game was over. She went upstairs to her bedroom and changed her clothes. Not a housedress, but she didn't want to look cheap. The fastest way to turn off a 4o year-old guy was to go prancing into the living room wearing a negligee. He's seen it all before.

When Tina slithered back into the living room, he was still intently watching the game. The game was tied and was going into overtime. Fuck. She'd just have to be patient a little while longer. She slipped onto the arm of the heavy recliner and leaned against her husband, but he didn't look up. He wasn't even aware that she'd changed her clothes.

Tina could not get her mind off her pussy. It had been so long since she'd been fucked, she felt she could come instantly if Ralph would just stick it in her. She was powerfully tempted to play with herself, something she'd never done in her whole life (Well, hardly ever, maybe a few times.)

She caught herself rubbing her greasy slit back and forth on the arm of the chair.

She was being too obvious, she thought. Only perverted people do that. Of course she knew that wasn't true. It was just a story that parents told their kids because kids made a mess of their sheets. She had two brothers and neither one had warts on his palms.

It felt exciting to touch herself there. She started to rub, slowly and hesitantly at first, then faster and then she was really putting her heart into it. Rubbing her thick bush indirectly stimulated her clit, and it was getting her very, very excited. Should she stop? She was horny enough already. What if Ralph didn't want to fuck? Then she'd have to call on Harry. (She called her vibrator Harry.)

So she sat and squirmed and felt her hungry cunt spritzing juice onto the rug, but the noise from the crowd drowned out her breathing. And all the while her husband watched the goddamn TV. Tina thought it was a miracle that he couldn't FEEL the low frequency waves being generated by her love niche. She thought of praying but she knew Jesus had His own problem, the least of which was her pussy.

Finally the game ended, leaving Ralph in a sour mood. He stood, stretched, yawned, belched, and turned off the television. He started for the bedroom, only casually glancing at his wife. If he noticed she was naked from the waist down, it didn't register or he wasn't impressed. He yawned again as Tina trotted after him, turning out the lights. In the bedroom he sat down heavily on the edge of the bed and took off his slippers.

"Shitty game, huh?" he said. "The Pats lost ..."

"Hmmm ... " Tina said to monitor the level of his awareness, "Do you like this nightie, honey?" She was almost naked.

Ralph blinked in her direction. "Yeah, real nice," he said casually.

Tina could hardly believe it. She was practically sticking her cunt in his face, her belly overgrown with a shaggy forest, just the way he liked it. He was yawning at it. She stood just two feet or so in front of him, but he only blinked at her again and pulled off his t-shirt. He was clearly not the least bit interested.

"Ralph," Tina said hoarsely, "look at me."

"Huh?" he said.

He looked at her, and she slowly removed her bra, allowing her heavy breasts to spill out. He'd always liked it when she undressed in front of him, to tease him, and she'd watch his affair get stiff.

Now she'd give him a really good show. She took her time about it, using her hands to cup her breasts, and running her fingers down into her wet vulva. She stood naked before her husband, her pussy fur practically in his face.

"What do you think?" she purred.

Ralph smiled in a friendly way. "You keep yourself in really good shape, honey," he said. "I'm proud of you."

Then he looked away and took off his pants. In his jockey shorts, she could see that he didn't have an erection. Desperate, she dropped to her knees in front of him and seized the waistband of his shorts.

"Let me do that for you, sweetheart," she cooed.

Ralph looked puzzled but said nothing. While he sat on the edge of the bed, Tina slowly inched down his shorts. When his balls were exposed she saw his dick was limp. No sign of arousal.

"Raise your ass, darling," she said.

Ralph obeyed, and she slipped his shorts off. He sat there looking bewildered, his limp pecker indifferent between his legs. There was only one other trick she knew to get hard. There was only one other thing she could think of to turn him on.

"Tina, what --?" Ralph started to say, then stopped.

He didn't have to ask what she was doing. It was obvious. She had slipped her warm hand under his limp cock, and she began to suck on it. She licked his cock, and it was wet and gleaming from her saliva. She suddenly stuffed it into her mouth, and sucked on the full length of it. She brought her lips back up, tickling his knob, and tugging on his foreskin. She sucked him slowly because he liked it slow. She used both hands on him, rolling it, using her saliva to massage it. She made very loud slurping noises.

"Honey, not tonight ..." Ralph said.

Tina was astonished; it was the one trick she'd reserved, the one thing she felt sure would turn him on. She rarely blew him, but she knew he loved it. At least he used to. Now he wasn't interested at all. He was crawling under the covers, yawning.

"Ralph," she said, "what's wrong? We need to talk. If you've got someone else ... "

"Oh, no, no, honey, it's not that." Ralph spoke to her for the first time that evening. "I love you, Tina, nobody else. It's just that I'm getting old, babe. I'm forty, after all. I can't perform like I used to. You gotta resign yourself to it, Tina --I just can't make love as much as I used to."

Tina knew that wasn't true. She'd read enough to know that older men than Ralph fucked. Picasso fucked in his eighties. Something else was bothering Ralph -- but if he didn't want to talk about it, then to hell with him. She wasn't going to beg him any more. She wasn't going to make an ass of herself trying to get laid. She'd find some other way to satisfy her needs, maybe find out what Junior was up to.

Tina got into bed and turned out the light. In less than five minutes , Ralph was snoring. If her husband wouldn't take care of her in bed, then, by God, she'd take care of herself. Masturbation was better than watching mindless TV.

Tina was religious and she intuitively knew the apostles were beating their meat. Those were young guys. They were human. She slipped her hand between her legs, running her hand through her soft hairy grotto. She didn't feel alone, thinking about the apostles.

She pressed her fingertip more firmly against the slick little nub of flesh and rubbed faster and faster. First she managed to bring herself off just by using her fingers. She thrust a stiff finger deep into the burning wet tunnel of her cunt -- and then a second finger and finally a third, till she had achieved the same thickness as Ralph's cock. She thrust the three fingers stiffly and briskly in and out of her flooded box, and in moments she was experiencing a mind bending climax.