All Comments on 'For All of Us'

Write another chapter....love the story so far! Although, something about Susan kind of rubs me the wrong way.....maybe it's because she admitted that she was jealous of Melissa, or that she showed up at his apartment & tried to fuck him the day after their threesome, or that she told him to keep a secret from Melissa, or maybe it's her wanting him to get her pregnant also....I don't know, I just don't trust her all the way. What a great change of pace that not only did he not fuck her, he couldn't even get hard for her. That was a great bit of writing there. I was hoping Susan would meet a good man & leave the threesome, giving the two of them time to just be a couple. Hope to read more soon!!

Please tell us more. these three are amazing together!! thank you!!

I hope you keep going. 4*

Thanks everyone very much for the encouraging comments.

Anonymous: Very insightful comments. Thanks. I think you're right that Susan isn't completely trustworthy, but only because she's a little wild and impulsive. I suspect that her being so beautiful isn't the only reason she couldn't find a good guy for herself.

Good writing, loving, fucking. Agreed Susan shouldn't have concealed stuff from Melissa. So far they're both trustworthy. I want you to really get into it with both big-bellied!

Good work on this, your writing is excellent. The only suggestion I would make to make it better is to give a little more insight into Susan's past and current conflicted feelings with the way the relationship is working out, and how that gets resolved. Otherwise, Otherwise keep up the amazing story.

You essentially skipped two years of their relationship development... perhaps because it would be difficult to explain while keeping the erotic elements of their lifestyle? I feel a little cheated. To jump from a developing polyamorous relationship to impregnating both at once is too big of a leap. Melissa is coming across as a suppressed doormat. You do her character an injustice by not explaining her love for Susan. It doesn't have to be a bisexual relationship, but right now it doesn't make sense.

Syleus: I'm frustrated that there aren't more stories yet.

You are a good writer, build credible characters and satisfying story lines.

Thanks!

@rayirony, glad to hear you enjoy the writing. I'm sprucing up the long version of this story which adds more to Susan's background and a few other things. But I've been working on different stories (coming soon) instead of more chapters for this story line. If people really would like more about Susan, Melissa and their man, let me know.

I would like the spruced/spiced version of this story (with Melissa emerging stronger - I sort of agreed with the doormat comment) as well as more new stories from you. You write wonderful stuff.

@BBeinhart, thanks so much for your comment. Very encouraging to know you enjoy my writing! I'm almost done with a retrofit of this story, but it's a challenge to make it fit with the other two. That'll teach me to rush stories and try to gloss over key parts ;-)

I don't agree with the doormat comment either. Melissa IS the strongest one and most secure. Your story needs to continue and is worth continuing.

Well, the revised version is published, replacing the original. More detail, a bit more tension and a slight change to the ending. I'm not convinced it's a success, but hopefully it fills in some of the holes in the original.

I loved the way you built this story gradually building the love needed amongst the three such that it seemed completely appropriate that they build one large family together.

Loved the ‘no doormat’ version! :-)

Nicely done.

that i found myself paging back to your bio to assure myself that the story wasn't written by a woman,

So rayirony, you're saying I write like a woman? ;-) But thanks... even though most of my stories are blatant male fantasies (especially Warmer by the Lake), I try to put some emotion and thoughtfulness into the characters.Without that, it's all just sweaty hydraulics and grunting.

Less is more sometimes. You have set the scenes. The remainder will occur in different versions in the minds of the readers who became engaged in the story.

Deep into the story, I thought he would end up with Susan, with her greater beauty, gorgeous body and more fuckable pussy. And that would have been a mistake because Melissa seems a much better person. It was a good story.

Thanks, Anonymous. There's always a call for sequels on Literotica, but you're right... this story is complete. No need for more.

While the guy appreciated Susan's beauty, he never once wanted to leave Melissa for her. And turned out he never had to... lucky bastard :-)

I really enjoyed the trilogy about Melisa funny and erotic at the same time and not too far fetched. Obviously the end.

Thanks, Anonymous! These were the first stories I ever wrote. Lots of rough edges. I'm really glad you could enjoy it anyway.

....easy to give 5* to! It achieved the most important thing that any story, book, novel aspires to, and that is entertain. Three adorable characters bumbling their way through life and love. Enchanting.

Thank you, Anonymous. I try to write stories that are entertaining *and* hot. "Bumbling their way through life and love" is a great description. As are we all :-)

I just able to sigh. Damn i have no word to describe it. As someone from non English society came to English bcoz only to seek their great sexual literature, this one was the special among others to me. Your story language is easy so i can understand and your characters has great shapes each other to make an tasty story. I wish i would able to be like them too, like Melissa that had to pass her mind cage to get anything and Susan that have great people to lay down. Or at least be childish as them, do much thing that much of adults cannot do. Got better quality life.

I really honoured and graceful to read it freely, dear writer honestly. I doesn't have words to describe it, pardon me for my limited English. Thank you very much.

Thanks, Mesra! I'm delighted to hear that you found the story "tasty" :-) It is wonderful to know this story is easy to understand for non-English speakers. I hope my other stories live up to that high standard.

Good story! Thanks

Continued inventive premise.

But too much of it is backstory.

There's plenty of sex, but lacking in detail that's needed.

Four stars.

Susan can go and fuck herself 2 stars🤢

...is simply one of the best on Literotica.

And the dialog is OUTSTANDING . Particularly, this last of the 3 parts. I found myself marveling several times that someone could compose dialog that good. Occasionally humorous also -- I chuckled.

I love well-written cuckquean stories {of which there are too few on Literotica. And too, too many cuckold stories -- do not care for them}. Wish I could read more cuckquean stories as good as this one.

I unhesisatingly gave it 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

Paul in Oklahoma.

Fantastic story!! My wife got the effects of reading these three story's several times while fantasizing she was fertile, what a turn on!!

Thanks very much, Anonymous(1) and Anonymous(2)! It's gratifying to hear this story has had that kind of effect :-)

And Anonymous(2), thanks for your kind words about the dialogue, especially since these were the first three stories I ever wrote so just scribbled down dialogue without much thought to realism or style. I had to look up what "cuckquean" means. Not sure it exactly applies to Melissa sharing her man with Susan.

Fantastic story!

Love it!

Like most "Alpha" males threesome dreams usually involved the two women doing each other while doing me. Being shared by two friends in turn, but not them doing each other has been my personal experiences. Perhaps that is why they were so hot for me. They represented reality for me and allowed me to more completely feel the possible reality of them. I think I enjoyed the memories they stimulated as much as the romantic stories, I guess that is what great story telling is all about, and you are a great story teller...

Thanks very much, JimDiamond. I intentionally avoided the expected trope of the women getting it on with each other. It didn't fit the characters and, as you say, it better represents reality. Beside, as male fantasies go, isn't it better if the women have only the guy to satisfy their needs? :-)

When I first read this a few years ago, I only read the first part, and thought it was great, spontaneous, and unfolded naturally. The honesty between Melissa and the male character was refreshing. But in the second part, Susan brings dishonesty into the relationship, and it goes down hill from there and into the third part. There were comments about realism at first, but what sane loving couple would let her slut around and then welcome her unquestioningly back to their bed, without even a conversation about getting tested. And her dishonesty continued through the end, when she goes off birth control without a word to the others. They should not have let her get away with all that. Limits and conditions should have been placed on her continuing participation in the relationship. She remained true to her character, selfish, entitled, and insecure. Melissa and dickhead just did not deal with her appropriately. She will continue to cause them all trouble down the line. That's too bad, as the potential was there for a great relationship.

Thanks for the interesting observations, Anonymous. You're absolutely right: Susan has done selfish things and is without question insecure. Yet her and Melissa had been friends since High School. I have old friends from school who turned out to be dicks. We're still friends, flawed as they are. Bet they think I'm a dick in several ways too :-)

As this is a short story, there's necessarily lots of detail left for readers to imagine. I think we just have to accept that despite each person's flaws, Melissa, Susan and their man somehow managed to craft a stable, loving relationship. I'd say Susan isn't a third wheel the other two put up with... she's integral to their relationship... flaws and all. Part of love is accepting people for who they are, not to mention forgiveness, which can seem unreasonable to outsiders.

It's telling that neither Melissa nor the guy's first reaction to Susan secretly let him knock her up wasn't anger. It was acceptance, concern and practical matters. Both understood and accepted Susan's reasons (maybe even should have expected it, knowing her). And he revealed he always wanted to have a baby with her too... just not at the same time. His first concern was for Susan and the logistics: helping two women through their pregnancies at the same time, then (hopefully) the three of them having two infants to handle. I think that would put their loving poly relationship to the test much more than any of Susan's action.

If I turned this into a real live novel, maybe I'd cover that and add all the depth not possible in a short male fantasy :-)

Great!!! Thanks.

I love a good polyamory story and this was. Great work.

When I saw the second part was in Group, I thought, oh, no, it was going to quickly turn into the typical reckless escalation kind of story after being a fairly sweet and tender first chapter. But the transition from innocent Melissa to threesome Melissa was handled well enough, and was limited, and the finale wasn't that at all. Good stuff.

Thanks so much, intim8! I've been guilty of reckless escalations into group sex (e.g. The Waif and The Wall Ch.02) but my goal in this story was to portray a one-night threesome plausibly developing into a long-term poly relationship with love and caring, with a little drama and sex along the way.

Yikes.

Babies are expensive.

And the story already established he can't afford the mortgage with only one income. Is this set in a mythical USA with paid maternity leave?

Anonymous: the exact location isn't stated, so it could be in Europe or even Canada, which has paid maternity (and free health care).