All Comments on 'For the Love of Lana Ch. 09'

by Pars001

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2 Comments

Jackspeed2u over 6 years ago

This has turned so stupid.

This has turned into a stupid story. Characters are acting out of their normal behaviour.

Why would Johnathon choke his baby sister Trina? Where did that come from? Totally from nowhere.

I give up, I should have given up ages ago. It’s just so hard to read now. Sentences and whole paragraphs just make no sense.

Stauker almost 7 years ago

Editing

Great job, great story line. Do you have an editor? If not, I am willing to help with that. Your writing style has greatly improved, just a bit of work is needed on your continuity. Keep up the good work!

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Pars001@Pars001

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Am a clerk here in Florida. I started writing almost three years ago again. I am dabbling in almost all genres. I hope I can bring a little enjoyment to those that have never read me. Also am an old Dom out of the life style for years. Am open to private chat with almost anyon...

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