For Want of a Snow Blower Pt. 02

That was when I suddenly realized what was so strange about her lover, what I hadn't been able to place just a few moments before. His hand was on Jackie's face as they kissed and made out. His fingers were long and delicate and his nails shone as if they had a clear polish on them. So were the toenails. Those legs, so long and muscular, were shaved. As Jackie rolled over on top I could see breasts; not only hers, but also her lover's. As Jackie began licking her way down her lover's body, I could see her face. Delaney's face, eyes screwed up in pleasure as Jackie's talented mouth worked its magic on her dark, erect nipples, her washboard abs, and then her red-furred pussy. My wife was fucking the girl I had cheated on her with, and she was doing a hell of a job. Delaney, red hair damp and tousled, spread her legs as far apart as she possibly could as Jackie descended between them. She used her fingers to spread Delaney's lips wide and then she began eagerly working on her clit and inner lips.

Delaney gasped and opened her eyes wide in pleasure, and that's when she spotted me. She, at least, wasn't expecting me because she stifled a yelp and quickly clapped her hands over her breasts and tried to close her legs. As ridiculous as it seems, the girl I had fucked on that very bed just four weeks before, the girl whose pussy I had just been watching my wife lick, was trying to hide her tits from me. Jackie paused and looked up, then turned around and looked at me.

"Honey," she said, "this isn't a public show. The couch is all made up for you downstairs. We'll talk in the morning." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I was being dismissed! She expected me to go sleep downstairs while she continued fucking Delaney up here in our bed! What the fuck was this? Didn't I get a say in anything? I took a half step forward, and Delaney started to scramble up. Jackie pinned her down, though, and just kept looking at me. She was half-smiling, and she quirked her eyebrow up as if to ask what it was I thought I was going to do. And that was actually a pretty good question. What the hell was I going to do? I certainly wasn't going to hit anybody. I'd never hit a woman before in my life, and I sure as hell wasn't going to start now. Besides, I was pretty sure that Delaney could knock me on my ass if she wanted. I could yell, like Jackie had done when she walked in on Delaney and me, but that time Delaney had scrambled around and gotten dressed and left. I had a sneaking suspicion that she would be sticking around this time, and even as sick as I felt I didn't see what good shouting at them would do. It was clearly them against me, and I took a step back, paused to take a last look at them, then turned and left. I got down the hallway and halfway down the stairs when I heard the bedroom door close.

The next hour was surrealistic, as I went downstairs and stared at the couch for a moment, then wandered around in the kitchen for a while. Every once in a while it would hit me - here I was, doing some mundane thing like foraging for food or making myself a sandwich or cleaning my plates, while my wife was upstairs in bed having sex with a teenage girl. I thought about leaving, just getting out, but then I'd get angry all over again. This was my house just as much as it was hers. I wasn't going to be chased out into the January night and spend money I didn't have on a hotel room! I'd gotten friendly with some of my fellow teachers, but certainly not enough to call them up in the middle of the night and ask if I could come over and stay with them. No, I belonged here, dammit, and I was going to stay here!

It was worse when I finally went in and lay down to get some sleep. Even though they had closed the bedroom door, the living room was directly under our bedroom. The hot air vents went directly between the two rooms. I could clearly hear them. Delaney tried to keep quiet for a while, I guess, but by the time I was done in the kitchen she was in full-throated cumming mode. Jackie was driving her crazy. "Suck my CLIT," she'd yell one moment, and then, "Do me, do me, do me, do MEEEEE," or, "Yes, yes, deeper, deeper, yes, YESSSSS." It was almost worse when she would quiet down, because then I knew she was taking her turn licking or fingering my wife. The weird thing was, I was as hard as a rock. I had been since I walked in on them. Despite how angry and self-pitying I felt, I needed to cum badly. But I was damned if I was going to lie down here and jerk off like some kid while the adults had fun upstairs. Fuck them! I rolled over on the couch and tried to ignore the squeals and whimpering coming from the room above my head.

At some point I fell asleep, and they must have eventually exhausted themselves because all was quiet the next morning when I woke up. It was Sunday, and the heat was just kicking on to warm up the house. I looked out the front window and saw that it was beginning to snow. Even nature was mocking me. It was a snow storm that started this whole thing.

I went out to the kitchen and only paused a moment before filling and turning on the coffee grinder. What did I care if I woke them up? Once the smell of brewing coffee began to circulate through the house it started to feel almost like a normal day. I made myself some eggs and toast and headed back into the living room to watch some of the morning news shows. I didn't want to go upstairs to shower or change clothes or, well, for anything, actually, so I decided to catch up on what was going on in the world.

About a half hour later I had finished my breakfast and was sitting in front of the TV with my second mug of coffee when I heard somebody stir upstairs, and then the floor creaked and footsteps made their way across the hall. Soon the toilet flushed, and the footsteps made their way back to the bedroom for a minute or two before going back out into the hall and heading toward the stairs. A moment later the stairs started creaking as somebody made her way hesitantly down. My stomach dropped for what felt like the fiftieth time since getting home last night, and I turned off the television. This was the moment of truth, one way or another.

As soon as she got downstairs Jackie poked her head around the corner. Despite the fact that the house was warm now she was wrapped up in her white fuzzy bathrobe. Her glossy brown hair was pulled back into a half-assed ponytail and there were very slight dark circles under her eyes. "Is there any left?" she asked, nodding at my Arizona Wildcats coffee mug.

"Uhhh, sure," I said, gesturing toward the kitchen. It occurred to me that I had made a full pot, just like normal, even though this was the least normal morning of my life. She padded out to the kitchen - barefoot, despite the fact that I knew the hardwoods were still cold - and soon reappeared with her Adrienne Rich mug and sat down on the love seat opposite me with her legs folded under her. I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything for a while. For her part the teasing seductress of the previous night seemed to be gone, and she was just Jackie again, looking at me from across the room. For a moment it was so normal that my heart skipped a beat. Then I broke the silence. "So, what the fuck was that all about?"

A quick look of pain came over her face. Maybe she had been having the same daydream about this being a normal morning for us? At any rate, she pretty much kept her eyes on me and calmly said, "It was about you walking in on me fucking a teenage girl in our bed." Ouch, but I was ready for that one.

"Yeah, but you see, that won't cut it," I said, as calmly as I could, even though my heart was pounding and it felt like I couldn't get enough air. "You planned that. You wanted me to walk in on you just so that you could hurt me. I never meant to hurt you. Never. And I've tried to explain and apologize for the past month, but you just froze me out. You acted so hurt that I thought everything was over. And I guess it really is, hunh? But instead of just leaving or going to see a lawyer or - God forbid! - talking things out, you decided to get in a Parthian shot? See how much you could hurt me before we break up? Geez, I never figured you for the vindictive type, Jackie." I kept looking at her as I talked. I was proud of myself. I'd kept my voice fairly calm through the whole thing, though it did come off kind of like a prepared speech.

She hadn't looked away while I was speaking, though she did bring her coffee mug up to her lips. She didn't drink, but just held it there, looking at me from over the rim. I guess it was her shield or something. When I was done, she took a long sip and sat it carefully down on the coffee table. Then she looked back up at me.

"You're right, sort of," she said. "That was at least partially vindictive of me..."

"Partially," I interrupted, incredulously.

She held her hands up. "Look, just let me explain. Do me the favor I didn't do you. We've been doing a lot of hurting, but we haven't been doing a lot of listening. That needs to stop, right now, if we're going to save...us."

That caught my attention. I couldn't quite believe what I had heard. Did she mean that she didn't want to break up? I started to ask her just what she meant, but she held her hands up again and interrupted.

"Look, I have to start from the beginning. Just let me get this out," she said, and she reached for her mug and composed herself. "The day of the big storm was pretty scary for me. I'd never seen so much snow in my life. Well, I guess neither of us had. When Nancy picked me up and we drove up to campus, we were sliding all over - even with her four-wheel drive. There were cars in ditches and accidents all along our route. I kept checking my phone to see if classes had been canceled, but they weren't. When we got there most of the parking lots and walkways hadn't been plowed. Most of the Grounds guys hadn't been able to make it in yet, and the few who had were totally overwhelmed. I almost fell on my ass twice just making it to class, and then only about a quarter of the kids showed up. It was like that all day. The snow kept falling, and plenty of students were out playing in the snow, but not many actually came to class."

She took another drink from her mug and held it between her hands, as if just the memory of that day was chilling her to the bone. "When the storm stalled and it just kept snowing, the University finally bowed to the inevitable and canceled classes and sent everybody home. By then the county had issued a no unnecessary travel order. The ride home was almost as bad as the ride in, and I was never as happy as when I saw the house as Nancy drove up our street. Oh, and by the way, I was pretty amazed at the job you had done on the driveway! I could actually walk all the way up without getting lost in the drifts," she said, smiling at me over her mug, eyes glinting mischievously. The room seemed to get a little warmer then, and I realized it had been a long time since I'd seen that look. It didn't last, though. A moment later she frowned, and continued.

"When I got in the house that day and the warm air hit me, I was the happiest girl in the world," she said, gazing down at the floor. Then she shifted on the love seat and looked me right in the eyes. "Being trapped in the house with you during a huge snowstorm seemed so romantic. I was so preoccupied that I had my boots off before I even heard you two, and neither of you were exactly being quiet.

"At first I couldn't believe what I was hearing. I hoped you were just watching porn and jerking off or something. I didn't even bother to take my coat and hat and gloves off, I just snuck up the stairs. And there you were, lying in our bed with Delaney riding you like some prized bull or something. I...I just couldn't believe it. I actually watched you both cum. I just stood there and watched, wondering what the hell was so wrong with me that you'd rather fuck somebody else than your own wife."

"Jackie," I interrupted, "it wasn't like that. You know that..."

"Wasn't it?" she interrupted, setting her mug down on the coaster nearest her on the coffee table. "We hadn't had sex for weeks. You know I missed it, too, right? I mean, we've gone over this. I was working like hell, all the time, and I needed you to...take charge, to show me just how much I meant to you, how much you needed me." She held up her hand as she saw me open my mouth to interrupt. "And I know that's not fair, to lay it all on you like that. I know you can't read minds. But I was wrapped up in my career, and I just thought that you were all wrapped up in yours, too. We both had new jobs that we were trying to make work. We were both trying to impress our colleagues and administrators. I guess I just felt like we were both in the same place, even though you weren't bringing quite as much work home. But when I walked into the house that day and found you fucking her, I realized I was wrong. You weren't too preoccupied to take charge and fuck me, you just preferred somebody else."

"Jackie!" I interrupted again, leaning forward, almost spilling my coffee, "you know that isn't true! I didn't go hunting for somebody else! It just...it was bizarre. It just happened..."

At that point she got up, came around the coffee table, and sat down next to me. She took my mug out of my hand and set it down on a coaster, and then she took my hands in hers. "Yes, I know...I know you didn't go hunting for somebody else. I know you didn't seduce Delaney up there. But the fact remains that you found it easier to fall into bed with her, even if it wasn't something you were looking for, than you did just to come to me and talk about it. Danny, you needed to tell me how you felt. If we're going to make it, we need to talk to each other."

I let that sink in for a moment. Everything was getting so jumbled, and it was hard to think. Hard to think with her holding my hands like this. It had been so long since we even touched. God, how could we have gotten this far off course? If we were ever going to get back to where we had been, we did need to talk to each other. More than that, we needed to be honest with each other. So, I took a deep breath and started.

"Okay, you're right. We need to talk. Ever since that day, I've felt so guilty. I cheated on you, and I hurt you, and I feel like I've ruined our marriage." I realized at that point that I was looking down at the coffee table, avoiding her eyes, so I shifted and forced myself to look at her directly. She smiled a bit when I did that, and my heart skipped a small beat, but I knew we were a long way from being out of the woods.

Honesty. "Our marriage is the best thing that's ever happened to me. Nothing even comes close. I felt so guilty and so self-pitying that I never really stopped to think about that, but it's true, and I want you to know it." She looked down and blinked several times - tears? - and held my hands tightly. "But what I said before is true. About what you did. If we're talking and being honest, I still just can't wrap my head around what you did to me last night. I was weak and maybe even stupid, but bringing Delaney into our bed and setting it up so that I'd walk in on you...that was just cruel and vindictive. I never really thought that you had that in you." I pulled my hands back at that point, crossed my arms across my chest, and sat back against the arm of the couch. "This may seem crazy, because I know you're the one who has a good reason not to trust me, but I'm really not sure if I can trust you anymore, either. So, where do we go from here?"

She looked at me, squinting a bit, her brow all wrinkled up in that cute way she had when she didn't understand something and it pissed her off. I knew I was starting to grin a bit, even though I wasn't even remotely happy. I had a bad habit of grinning, just a little, when I knew something that the people around me didn't know. I tried not to do it around Jackie, because that just made her even angrier, but I found that this time I didn't care. Not at all. I folded my arms across my chest and explained in a slow, calm voice.

"Whether I did what I did out of weakness, or stupidity, or lack of communication, or whatever it was, it was still a mistake. I never meant to hurt you. But you, you planned last night. You meant to hurt me, as much as you possibly could. I mean, Jackie, you had never had sex before we met! You were a virgin! I'm the only guy you've ever been with, but I slip up just once and you end up fucking another woman just to get back at me! Hell, if you're willing to go to those lengths to humiliate me, what won't you do?"

I sat back and waited for the explosion. She should have been super-pissed. She always came off as the reasonable one, but she had an incredible temper that she only let come out to play once in a while. I was pretty sure this would be one of those times, and I was actually looking forward to it. I was sick of her being in control of us, the situation, everything. I had been badly shaken up by all of this, and I wanted her to be just a little shaken up, too. But I was disappointed.

She took a deep breath, and scrubbed at her face with her hands. Then she sat back against her arm of the couch, and when she dropped her hands into her lap she was grinning, too. "Well, you're right about a couple of things. You are the only guy I've ever been with, and technically I guess that did make me a virgin. But, baby, that doesn't mean that I never had sex before we met. In fact, I had a lot of sex in high school." She actually giggled, seeing the look at my face. She tried to stifle it, but it burst out of the corners of her mouth anyway. "And in middle school," she added, and doubled up laughing as my jaw literally hung open.

"But...," was all I could stammer, which sent her into another belly laugh that almost caused her to slip off the couch onto the floor.

"So, you're trying to tell me you're gay?" I continued when she had recovered a bit. "You've been a lesbian, all this time?"

"No," she said, serious again, scooting toward me on the couch so that she could take my hands. "I thought I was gay. Baby, I never had feelings for a guy growing up. Never. Only girls. I kissed a few girls in middle school, you know, on dares, during sleepovers, that sort of thing. But in eighth grade I finally found a girl who felt the same way I did. She was my first. We were inseparable; we did everything together. Her family moved away at the end of eighth grade and I was crushed. I thought I'd never find anybody else again. Of course, when I got to high school I found that I wasn't the only girl in the world who liked other girls. I had half a dozen girlfriends. Some were just flings, but some were pretty serious. The point is, I had a lot of experience when I hit campus, and I was sure that college would be just the same.

"But then you came along." She was calmer now, quieter, and she was smiling at me. "At first I was annoyed when you kept trying to get my attention in that freshman lit seminar. I thought you were just another stupid guy," she paused, giving my hands a squeeze, before tenderly continuing. "Boy, was I wrong.

"It was...impressive, the way you started doing all the readings and trying to join all the discussions, just so you could talk to me - impressive, and cute." I looked aside, embarrassed, remembering how awkward I had been. "Listen," she said, with a little tug on my hands, bringing me back to the conversation, "that's pretty much every girl's dream. That a guy cares so much for her that he does the hard work to impress her and get to know her a bit, without acting like she owes him for it at the same time. You did that hard work, baby, and it made me see you in a different light. Smart. Mature. Very un-selfish." She lowered her voice and added in a conspiratorial tone, "Even sexy."