All Comments on 'For Want of a Snow Blower Pt. 04 - Epilogue'

Great wrap up to a great series!

Really would be a good beginning for Part 2 with the new girl.

Well now, looks like you just lead yourself into another story, wonderful finish on this one. One thing though, I feel Jackie is being very selfish with Garys' cock, she should share it more. Five Stars, can't wait for the next chapter.

Very good story, and well written. A couple of things, however, seemed false to me. Earlier in the story the narrator refers to a woman’s underwear as “unmentionables”. This is not a Victorian tale. Was that the word your mother used, and are you over 80?

The second thing is this utterance by the narrator: ‘’Wait a minute," I cut in. "This is crazy! You not only want us take in a girl we don't know, but you want us to make her our, what, slave? I can't believe this!"

This sounds like something inserted for some plot tension — to me, false and obnoxious, not something he would say given their relationship.

But again, a good story, well written. Thanks for sharing it.

Thank you for leaving a comment on my story, and I'm sorry for taking so long to reply.

To address your concerns, my intention in using the word "unmentionables" was irony. Both Jackie and Danny are very well-read, both would have encountered this term before, and in using it in a context of describing sex between himself, his wife, and their girlfriend his intention was to be ironic. If you missed that context then I probably didn't do a good enough job in writing the scene.

I'll stand my ground with Danny's incredulous line that you've quoted, though. Danny and Jackie have just come from a party in which an unknown young girl implied that she knew about their relationship with Delaney. They were shaken up and concerned that Delaney had been talking about what they considered very private information. Within a few minutes of their getting Delaney alone to explain, she's proposing that they take this unknown girl into their homes and their bed. To Danny this whole conversation is a non-starter, or at least something that would have to be discussed at length. He's shocked to hear Jackie pretty much agreeing to it at once. Makes perfect sense to me, but of course your mileage my vary.

Again, though, thank you for your kind words about my story, and thank you for taking the time to leave a comment. I really do appreciate it!

Well you left this one hanging.