All Comments on 'Forbidden Pt. 01'

Great start! Please go on! Thank you!

Not bad a good start

Not bad for a start, let's see what the rest of the chapters are like.

Very promising start. Not the most original of story lines, but generally very well written.

Story drew me right in.

My 2 cents

Greetings to the new author! I like the start of your story. I like how you are bringing out the characters and establishing them. Not all authors do that. I like the dynamic between them. I look forward to reading more of what comes out of your mind. Don't let the english word masters get you down if you make a mistake every now and then. It is very easy for some people to kick people instead of making constructive criticism. You write for your pleasure and drag the rest of us along. Thanks for your time and your imagination.

Good story! Can't wait to read the rest.

Keep writing. Good proofreading. I think they both have the same idea and will be making love together soon.

Take your time. Draw out the tension and inner thoughts of both. This could be a very enjoyable ride.

Great start!

Please keep the story going. Great start.

The story was well written and flowed smoothly only thing is it was a little short, but I loved it

Very good story. Waiting to see where you go. Thanks.

Awesome. Please continue. If you hadn’t said so, I wouldn’t have known that it was your first.

Tc

I like these kinds of stories as the details of your are building a nice sensual frame and how they are meeting again after so long. That his baby sister is not a baby anymore. She has desires like his and she seems to want her brother as he is trying to fight of his longing for her too. Hopefully, they will bond again but this time act on their feelings and develop a very hot and intense relationship. The relationship being sensual, raw sex but also very deep rooted love and wanting to protect each other and share their lives. Yes, please more as this story has so much potential. Thank you.

It’s very well written, and an easy to read style. I will say it’s a little cliche and wish you took more risk with the characters. Again, it’s a really well written first chapter, and I look forward to the next one.

very good start

Please please continue..loving the story and will eagerly await the next episode. Also lively writing so please submit more.

Love the Brother protects Sister from asshole father.

Expresses love for each other and they become one.

a great start, sweetheart, i loved it, and your spelling and grammar are exquisite. though it may be cliché, it most definitely holds the promise of a fantastic story. can’t wait to see more!

love, ally.

please keep going!

Oooohhhh, you've got a good one going here. True, it's not a "different" story line, but you are telling it really well. Sexual tension is through the roof, and the genuine love is palpable. I'm a sucker for a great sibling romance. Can't wait for more installments!

Good start. Hope we see more soon.

Excellent! Keep going, you're on to something. 5 stars!

Off to a good start

You did a fantastic job of this story. Keep up the great writing

My god I love this. I wish I was in Steve shoes. Love to see what the sister looks like. I came 3 time I cannot think straight n cannot login in.

The writing is very good. The plot isn't unique, far from it but the way you have worked the tension between them is excellent. No need to be nervous. You've got a winner going here.

Keep this story going

It's hard to believe that you're an amateur writer. This is exceptionally good. But why, if you have it all submitted, didn't you just put your parts together and send it in as a complete story????

Excellent! I can't wait to read more.

I was hooked as soon as you mentioned Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance.

Well done. Look forward to more of your creative endeavors.

Please post other parts and other stories. I love the way you write.

Get someone to edit after you proof read it

Continue!!!

I dont give too many 5 stars on here.. You earned one..

I apologize for breaking this story up. I had no idea how submissions worked when I signed up and posted. I didn’t realize it wouldn’t be published immediately. The other 3 parts of this story are currently pending. I know better for next time. My bad 😥 thanks for the encouragement it means a lot 🥲

Well written, well paced. You can feel the angst through your words. I'm looking forward to the following parts.

Beautifully written - possibly the best I have read on this site. Please, please keep writing!

Good start. I'm interested enough to read the next part when it's posted. :)

Keep at it, you're doing OK.

This story shows a lot of potential. Well written and absorbing. Keep it up!

I like the build up in pt1 and the potential for where this story could go. Enjoyed reading it!

You are doing great keep it up

time for pt 2

Nice build, nice tension

5/5

So far, so good.

A few small grammatical errors, but overall very good. 👍 Nice build up. Heather and Colt's father sounds exactly like my own obsessed and abusive dad. I can easily relate.

Hot. WEhen are they going to fuck

NOT LONG ENOUGH should be more content.