by trypewyre
Nice story, but lots of typos and missing punctuation. You would benefit from having someone else edit it.
she pours some worm lube on my ass and lubes up the strap on. Now normally I would suggest changing worm to warm but "Worm Lube" works for me.
Nuts! I found some other errors but my iPad is freaking out and erased them.
handcuffs get put on my hands behind my back. Suggest: handcuffs placed on my hands... or more forcibly; handcuffs set… Handcuffs occupying my hands.. fixed, planted, occupying, positioned, you get the idea. A more forceful word.
I don't notice it all taking place around my. Suggest: I did'nt notice it all taking place around me. Perhaps spell out what it all is.
She pulls: she pulled. I'm getting lost in the tense. Has he put himself back into the moment it happened?
my girlfriend crabs my cock: grabs
With the feeling of her lips on the base of my cock I blew my load right down her throat.
Why are you are blowing your load down her throat and then she is going down on your cock causing you to blow your load again? Seems like that sentence can be dropped or changed to an image of your load being delivered.
I enjoyed how she just walked away at the end. Good story.
Loved the story, but it would have been even better if she would have put the handcuffs on before letting you see the strap on and then you resisted. She could have then given you spankings until you submitted. Just a thought.
She shoves that thing in his throat, vomit on her, that would have put an end to it. Or bite down hard on it, your jaw muscles are much stronger than her hip muscles. Just push her off - did she outweight him by 50 pounds? Too many holes in this story to make it believable.
I suppose black jews are rare anyway, right?
Dude, it was awesome.
And if you think it was unrealistic, then your girlfriend suuuuucks.