All Comments on 'Found Money'

i stopped reading when the B/S political fairy stories started

this story is disgusting vile psychotic and shows a deeply mentally disturbed writer. The husband killed his wife because he was a wimpy loser.

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The husband is a pathetic loser.... hes stupid and hes clueless. It was so obvious from page 4 that his wife was fucking the other man and he refused to recognize the reality of the situation.. His reaction was frustrating irrational pathetic and laughable.

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The husband does nothing after he sees his wife with a group of men being manhandled and fondled by the boss. The story says that they didn't talk about the event and they didn't talk to each other for over a week. That is not handling the situation. That's not getting answers. That's being a pathetic wimpy loser and the fact that he let that situation go on and never confronted his wife ....tells the wife to have even less respect for him than before.... If that is possible.

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What is the husband's solution? Trick a drug dealer and the killing his wife?....

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I'm sure there are going to be a bunch of stupid slow headed fuck tards who are going to say well the wife was cheating and humiliating the husband. But It was the husband's wimpiness and his inability or refusal to openly confront his wife it's about what she was doing.... Is that led to her death.

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The drug dealer may have shot the wife but it was the husband who is responsible

The story doesnt ring true

this cuck was a wimp and a sad sack and an absolute moron at every decision in his life, why would he turn it around simply because Harrison told him what he already knew about his wife

And nothing of value was lost.

Good story but killing her was too much. I would have preferred her to be left disfigured while her lover died. Because of how quickly she had moved him in it was obvious there had been an ongoing affair so she lost her house in the divorce and she had to move back to her parents where she lived miserably for the rest of her life

Other than the fact that the protagonist was blind and dumb, it worked out in the end.

It's rather cliché

Decide what POV to write in and stick to it.

Could have cut 4 or 5 pages from that.

No likeable characters even Mike should have pulled him for setting up Mels murder...

lol ppl that sit in dead marriages till the toxic environment overflows and someone ends up dead. one was a whore and the other a murder and no one got what they actually deserve

I am impressed, it was quite well written.

Though such a tragic and sad ending.

I really am not sure I root for MC here, as I think he knew

what danger was his plan on whoever was/were in his house as Damon attempts to recover his money.

Though I have a bit of understanding why he did it with him under so much stress,

And even though Melanie did cheat on him,

Still that money the MC is spending is blood money no matter what.

I'd say nice work Gumbo25.

No real emotion here to draw you in or keep you engaged. I am not really into snuff, leaves a really bad taste in my mouth and now I dislike all the characters.

way too long with too many irrelevant details

Ali’I Drive is ok - but the money vacation on the Big Island is the Kohala Cost.

As I read this story, I got irrationally angry at the MC stubborn refusal to acknowledge what was going on with his gold-digger wife. I understood that this was intentional on the part of the author in order to drive the plot where they wanted it to go, so I kept plugging along and the payoff was surprisingly tidy. I could easily see this story outline eventually developed as a movie, perhaps opening up a whole new nerd-noir genre. Kudos to the clean wrap up Gumbo25.

On another note, maybe someone could tip of old Harry Virgin that the husband in this story isn't an actual person, he was written as flawed on purpose and of course he was responsible for his wife's murder.

Hey Gumbo…we’re u born under the sun sign ‘PISSES’?…can u please …please …please use all your considerable writing talents to maybe make this MC more wimpier then u ahve shown him? May be add some ten more pages of more shit where he looks more clueless…more lame and maybe drinks some cream pie and thanks Melanie for the wonderful milkshake?maybe after that I will finally not feel guilty for mentally cursing you to hughhavens for wasting my time?

Why was he such a fucking wimp!p?! Jesus. He can't tell a gold digging whore when she's standing right in front of his face? The fact that she's been unhappy with him and as soon as she saw the money she's now happy should be been his first fucking clue she was a gold digger. I also didn't understand this retarded ass prenup he signed. A prenup is to protect his home, business-- any asset's he had prior to the marriage. What was that bullshit he signed? It damn sure wasn't a prenup. I've never heard of a prenup where on party can take another parties home. The guy sounded like a brain dead moron. This story was ridiculously BORING BORING BORING! jesus 7 pages of a wimp still not realizing he's been played. 7 pages of blah blah blah

I liked it except this: The personality of the character flip flopped way too much. He's a wimpy moron when you need him to be then a conniving genius when you want him to be.

2nd one today where a wayward wife was killed. And Lit says no snuff stories are allowed? NO ONE has the right to kill another unless it's in self defense. I gave the other one 2 stars, this deserves no more.

One of the most original stories I have read here in a long time. Held my interest to learn what was going to happen to the wife. Yes, it was a bit too long, "beautiful people" was overused, and only few pages were needed to show that "JD" was weak and so enamored with Mel, she could do anything.

Lots of offended comments here, including the cuck lovers or people who know nothing about living in Seattle.

It a very dark, yet, realistic story. How many of you, if you found 230K of money would turn it in? Would not you be a bit tempted to take some/all of it vs. give it to the Police?

"JD" is weak, have you ever known a guy to was over the moon about his gf/wife, when you worried she felt he was Mr. Right Now vs. Mr. Right? Ever have that conversation with a friend? Not easy. Not realistic you say, in what world have you lived?

The guy gets a beautiful wife, he won't let her go, she thinks she can trade up. He does not want to see that, thinks they can salvage stuff, then the injury and she uses it as an excuse to divorce him. He finally figures out why it failed, maybe next time he won't make that mistake.

Ultimately, his response is to set her up for mayhem, she made her bed, she got to sleep in it. Alas the difference between love and hate.

Overall, the story delivers, despite it's flaws, a kind of morality tale, where for once, she does not get the house but buys the farm, so to speak.

Gave it a full 5 for the originality and that it held my interest. Thanks and keep writing.

Guys like JD must the biggest morons on earth. It was so hard to read about a character of that sort. Any decision he took was one out of weakness. People like that typically don't run successful businesses. Rest of the plot was ok. That Mel got killed: good riddance, actually. I was thinking why not directly let Damon do the dirt job and reap the benefits? No, instead he was crying for another round of humiliation.... 3*

Gumbo, flawed characters are fine but you must either make the plot so interesting that readers are engaged despite loathing your cast or develop your characters in such a way that they elicit sympathy despite their shortcomings. This story has neither.

Not for me, but it might be improved if the husband realised what was going on sooner and actually left the happy couple to do their own thing. Hubby could apply for divorce on grounds of mental cruelty and sue the wife's boss. Then he could live out his dream on a beach somewhere.

very entertaining Thanks for sharing

Definitely should have killed off Harrison and had Damon rough up Melanie, messing up her new nose in the process. The money becomes kind of a he said, she said issue, Damon ran with approximately $20,000 (230k minus a $20,000 nosejob, minus JD's 190k) in the red backpack. The police silenced him before he could be questioned and they have no idea as to the original amount of cash in the bag. JD bought the Audi but put it on his company account as a "peace offering" to his estranged wife. Melanie is now light one lover/boss and maybe can move up in the company since they are now "short handed" as it were. Now JD can finish her off by divorcing her and maybe suing her company for Harrison's sexual relationship with Melanie was directly subordinate to Harrison.

To Anon - I live in Seattle. The author wasn't political, he was factual.

I enjoyed it. Yes, the main character was a wimp but he was real. There are many like him and I dare say we've all been him at one time or another in our lives when we wanted something badly and were willing to look the other way at the consequences.

Funny that most of the comments are negative but scores are 4+. Nice work.

My only frustration was that you changed tenses frequently from past to present and back again.....and again ......and again. A couple of other grammatical errors but overall not too bad. Maybe look into getting an editor for your next one.

I liked it. Nobody really died did they?

Excellent story very well written a solid five star effort! Thanks for sharing it.

Wowzers! BTB in mile high letters! Gumbo25's batting average keeps going through the roof. Sure, the outlines of his stories are similar, but each time out he makes it interesting. Thought they'd both get it, but if one of them had to bite the farm, better it be Melanie so that JD gets all his stuff back. Wonder what Jayna looks like? Suspect she's another beauty, and the lesson JD learned was to not get married again. Like what the MC in "Spontaneous Combustion" learned. But back to this story, it's left unclear at the end. Anyway, it's another 5 for Gumbo25.

And another one bites the dust. Why any writer would instantly alienate half the readers on here by including his politics is a mystery. Just dumb. Nobody comes here to read about your politics.

Well. I don't know. I got through the first page. Then, I couldn't be bothered. Perhaps it's a good story. Who knows? A paragraph. More than a sentence long. Might make it more readable...

Great story. Steady flow each sentence leading to another equally as interesting. Would have been nice to keep Melanie alive, yet deliver revenge to both her and Harrison.

Only thing missing is the sexual harassment lawsuit against Harrison Locke and the advertising firm.

I haven't read your other stories yet, but I think that this guy took far too long to get a clue. Guess you can't please everyone. Hope you had a good time at Huggo's. I was there last month, and it was sad with the way their shutdown due to COVID made it a shadow of its' former self. Hope they do the smart thing soon.

Even After getting treated as worthless dog, embarrassed in-front her friends, thrown into a jail he is still going to save.

& only after getting thoroughly humiliated & beaten by his wife’s lover, he let it go.

This clearly is today’s liberals’ behavior & thinking which is disgusting to the core, seriously such wimpy & overly kinded men deserve to suffer a lot.

Well written, long and drawn out to the point of losing interest.

Wife was the typical template used her, perhaps writing a wife that isnt in literally every story here.

Husband was the typical slow, dumb type thats the norm and no, he wasnt real, unless being excessively wimpy is what every real husband is. Yes, almost all will cry etc etc etc but he was more an over the top wuss.

Had to skim because i drool in my sleep and my laptop is allergic to it.

Wow, indeed! Thank you.

One minor correction: I'm here in Seattle as well and I can say that drugs are overlooked as much as thefts and assaults. Just look around city: you can't walk two blocks downtown without seeing a drug deal and someone using. The Baker decision makes it impossible to prosecute drug possession in the state of Washington. I do admit, dealing is still punishable. Weird. But you're story was awesome.

In the divorce who would have got the womens panties

It was an interesting story that ended well, with the slut wife and her asshole boss getting some well-deserved consequences. The only problem was the protagonist was such a naive wimp that it was difficult to sympathise with him, especially when his marital woes were self-inflicted. I lost count of the number of red flags I spotted with Melanie long before they even got engaged.

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"Looking back I wasn't exactly sure when things began to change."

Unfortunately I think the portrayal of Melanie's character hurt your story... because she didn't change. She was a vain, self-centred, uncaring, materialistic bitch long before she started the affair with Locke. It was painfully obvious that she never loved her husband from the start and just settled for him because she was a golddigging whore and saw $$$ signs. You set out to make her as fundamentally unlikeable as possible, but JD was such a dumbass he married her anyway (and screwed himself with the one-sided pre-nup).

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These types of story tend to be more impactful when the wife starts off as a good person that genuinely loves her husband, before she gets seduced by a womaniser with money, power, and status. The wife's subsequent descent into becoming a raging bitch then seems all the more tragic, building sympathy for the protagonist.

Decent story but God JD being such a wimpy pussy really took away from the story.

Very nice ending for a BTB story. The drug dealer was asurprise though

Really well done and I enjoyed it even if I knew where it was going. Only problem I had, and it occurs with some regularity in the genre, is presenting the “hero” as a clueless cuck when he had the drive to start and run his own business. Someone like him in real life wouldn’t be the idiot you gave us. That said, still 5*

"I wanted the pretty, popular woman. All those home coming queens and cheerleaders from high school that I longed for but was far to nerdy to ever get. That's what I wanted. I was too blinded by that desire to realize how superficial Melanie was." Glad to see this character gaining depth. Great story, mostly believable, and the rest is just good fiction.

Great job on this one. Like some others have posted, the dichotomy between JD and his wife was a little vast. Might have read more true if JD appeared to keep up a little closer but would never be enough. Kudos the the reference to Ali'i Drive. Still one of my favorite stories here *ever*. Already looking forward to you next post. Cheers!

The main character was pretty pathetic…..getting dumped and cheated of kinda fits the mold for betas. No pre-nip? Come on….no family attorney advises that. Writing was interesting, but I often felt like the time descriptors got out of sync. Felt off.

7 pages of agonizing, boring torture. This should have ended up in your laptop's recycle bin. Not worth the time wasted reading.

Look. The MC did not kill his wife. The drug dealer did.

And he tried repeatedly to tell her and warn her she was in danger. Even tho it might have landed him in jail for violating the RO. Was even willing to tell the dude fucking his wife until the asshole started to insult him.

So the way I look at it. He tried at his one personal risk. They wouldn't even give him 5 minutes...so I guess justice was served.

Sure he put the bag back under the house...and made it look like they were spending the money on a new car.

But that did not automatically mean she was gonna die.

But it did have a sense of justice to the story didn't it. She was pretty fucking mercenary about it all. Kinda like karma coming around to pay her back for her ways, huh?

And it's just a story. It wasn't real. I wonder if most of you reading actually get that point. Nobody reqlly got a nose job. Or really signed a bad prenuptial. Or got killed here. It was fiction.

I'm not a fan of cheating wives getting murdered but this was an interesting story.

This is pure unadulterated dog crap. This is the first time I was rooting for the trash bag wife. The husband wasn't worth drawing breath.

There are spots where you skipped from past to present tense. This detracted from an otherwise fine story.

Not good, just kill the ex, set up others, you are correct, every thing in story FLAWED.

LOVE slap*hapy*papy. #9

Too demeaning and predictable to appreciate his escape from being raped by the bitch. I had to skip and skim all the pointless detail and crap about how inferior the husband felt, how he enabled his bitch girl friend to become his bitch wife and treat him like the stupid whiny bitch he was. Of Course the wife was going to fuck him over, Why Not; he was begging for it. Oh Melanie lets talk, Oh Melanie can we fuck some, Oh Melanie can I kiss your ass? This guy was pathetic. He totally lucked out getting rid of the whore wife. I can't wait for Jayna to fuck him over for the waiter. Thanks for the effort.

Well this took an interesting but very dark turn that didn’t exactly fit the characters persona . Granted , anyone ,(especially a faithful , loving , devoted , husband), could have a psychotic break and become a cold calculating murderous mastermind after being subjected to that much emotional turmoil and stress in such a short time , and understandably react in unorthodox ways . Yet his totally submissive relationship with his wife , even when times were wonderfully happy , was destructive and detrimental to each of them , it still didn’t jibe with his total transformation from wimp to wacko in the span it took to drive back to mikes place . From pussy whipped punk hubby to methodical master manipulator with no fear of consequences and no moral compass just didn’t quite fit the bill ! But that’s just my stupid opinion , and if it wasn’t for that one bothersome pet peeve of mine I really liked the story ! I even liked it so much I have taken the time and inclination to comment , so ... Good Work 👍

God the husband was a clueless idiot. No one can be that spineless and dumb. It spoils the whole story.

Men like him deserve women like her LMAOOO. Good I hope I’m never as pathetic as a married man. Good story tho. Honestly.

Hopefully Locke never fully recovers. Karma for stealing another man's wife. And for being a total D-Bag his whole life. The ladies won't be impressed by his colostomy bag. By the way I agree, Kona is a cool town. Been there a couple of times. Couldn't afford to live there though.

NTR bullshit. Annoyingly wimpish MC

I'm sorry. This story just left me cold. The MC doesn't have to be a former Seal billionaire CEO, but that's a far cry from this MC. Lets face it: she was right, he was whiny and clingy! Finally, we didn't get any reward for plowing through this l-o-n-g story. The LW gets a quick death and lover boy -- lives?!? The most our manly MC can manage is to tell the guy to get his stuff?!? WTF!? That showed him. There were no sympathetic characters.

It really takes a fucked up MC husband for me to cheer for a cheating wife but by God you've done it.

Well, hell, I liked it. An original way to Btb

3. Somewhat enjoyable but somewhat not. Just terrible people all around, the wife who seemed monstrous, the guy who had no balls and allowed his wife to walk all over him, and the boss guy who I'm shocked wasn't killed too. I don't mind a story with a wimpy MC, some people are wimps and thats okay, but this guy just took the cake.

Even a wimp can be pushed to far. No sympathy what so ever for the self serving cunt and her boy toy. Happened in Seattle? WOW! No wonder she felt entitled to do this shit.

I don’t think there is anyone with hair on their balls left on the left coast.

Even the MC is a punk that got lucky.

Karma is a bitch.

As long as these spineless losers stay in their sewer of a liberal city who really gives a fuck what happens to them.

Freaking long and predictable except for the last part ("the plan") that is utterly ridiculous. "Mel" and "Harrison" did not notice Audi nor the money in the cabinet? Everything goes so easy? In fact the plan involved random actions of a drug dealer which turn out just right so that nobody knows why he acted the way he did.

You do not see how preposterous that is?

Moreover the totally wimpish "JD"'s behavior in the first 6 pages makes this hogwash of a story really frustrating to read with very little suspense. This seems to be a persistent trait of many LW writers.

1 star.

I loved the clever plot twist. The characters however needed to have been developed differently in order for the reader to care about any of them. Overall, great story.

Great Story. Thanks for sharing.

Too Long

Gets his wife killed but the guy is still a useless, pathetic loser ……..

Loved it, great story. Thanks for posting. 5 stars.

Good, well thought out story.

Now this is how you write a fucking story. Excellent work

Another good one from one of my favorite newer authors. Absolutely loved the shark-week inspired story you posted earlier. One question I had on this one, why not just take all of the money? The bad guy was going to find out some was taken, so why not take it all?

Keep the stories coming, you’re developing a fan base!

Good story, bitch had her fate coming. And yeah MC was a bit of a wimp, he was a self proclaimed nerd. But he got the job done in the end. This was an FTDS grade tome.

Well written. Here is something to help make it better:

"Any mood change I had experience was left unsaid between Isaac and I." ME

"There is a photo of Melanie and I at the charity event ..." ME

Having Damon kill Mel, and Locke, is a cop out. You have 6 1/2 pages of set up, then boom the wife and lover are dead, in two paragraphs. Come on be a better writer than this, use your imagination, and come up with something better.

Thanks KS

Please get a proofreader or editor. To help get rid of so many flipflops between past tense narrative and present tense it's happening right now.

Just a cop out ending, would have been nice if the man had a backbone.

For me, the problem was that MC wasn't at all likeable. It was obvious from the beginning what was coming down, but I really didn't care. I did like the ending, but even in that MC was too passive.

Too bad that Harrison didn't buy the farm too.

JD is an absolute DA... he deserved all the misery he got and more... he'll just do it over again.. that's just what DA's do.

Story played out well, enjoyed it. To bad Harrison did not get shot a few inches lower. Keep up the good work.

After Mel takes some of the money, and hangs with Harrison, it is time to split it (less the $20k) and park his half somewhere else. Maybe even do the Washington for Franklin swap to preserve the bulk, leaving enough Benjamins for the next $40k to be legitimate so Mel doesn't notice soon.

Actually, sometimes it's more like a premature ejaculation. A release but unsatisfying- usually for both of the couple.

This story is refreshing compared to the other's I have read on Literotica.

Yep it got a 5 rating from me.

Harrison could of got deal with and paid a larger price. He was only mislead by a good looking woman and his own lusting.

I'm only sorry that prick Harrison wasn't killed too.

I really like all your stories I've read so far but are all the Husbands pussies in your stories? Any hardcore Military Husbands? Still I give you 5 BIG FAT FLUFFY STARS!

Much loved. Congratulation. 5⭐

We follow the adventures and stupidities of an MC described in the manner of a nice blunderer, a somewhat asocial dreamer.

The smile settles during the story, and then we wonder what will be his next misstep.

Nothing to like about your main character. An idiot from beginning to the end.

Just another load of shit about a complete moron who’s wife was obviously fucking her boss and he’s too fucking stupid to see it. At least 5 pages too long and a load of crap

too bad that piece of shit harrison lived

Three words for the protagonist: Run Forest Run

Another revenge plot, but not up to some of this author’s other excellent work. The protagonist was just too dense to sympathize with, and though the wife was shallow and self-absorbed, she died in terror not knowing why. That’s too tragic for me.

What a disgusting set of characters!! Mike seemed to be the only decent guy there. Awful plot and awful characters! 1*.

Another writer presenting a total,wuss as the main male c. Seems every writer here is just the same.

By the wicked shall the wicked be punished!

Nope! This guy is beyond a wimp. He never stands up for himself and then lets a drug dealer take care of his problems. He is pathetic from start to finish. Mel's character is also detestable and she never suffers or is confronted with her evil. At least you could have had Abernathy have some fun with her before the cops showed up and have wimpy hubby watch and laugh at her while she begs for his help.

The MC is just to witless and delussional blind to his marital situation.

Hurts his "wife" then wants to warn her?

Comes home drunk and acts like a brain dead 15. YO? Violates a restraining order? Then, somehow, comes with this operationally complex get even plan.

I've liked all your work here but this story, NOT YOU, was absurd.

Anonymous 5 months ago Pretty much sums it up. Other than mine everyone sucks.

Pretty well paced for the length

Your stories are really good. Thank you.