All Comments on 'Found Pt. 08'

too bad it went straight down hill from there.

This chapter had too many inconsistencies. Where did phoebes kids come from? Beth turned up 6 months pregnant and Steve had only just started trying with phoebe. Then all of a sudden phoebe has 2 kids that can walk around and get picked up and sounds like they are older than Steve’s original kid.

There is also a part where they are going to a play but Sara doesn’t go so Steve stays home but then they are at the play and Sara isn’t mentioned as going but is there and needed help.

Steve said if Sara had sex with someone else the marriage would be over. She did and then lied about whether she did or not. Steve shouldn’t have just accepted this but nothing was mentioned.

Jenny, Beth, Phoebe and Sara are al toxic for Steve. It would have been better to get rid of them ASAP. But then the story would have been boring.

5 stars for chapter 1 and going down from there to 0 starts for this chapter

Of course you had to save Sara, she had saved him. Loved it.

Pt. 01 showed a lot of promise to a really good story, but it all went downhill after that. :(

Unlike Anonymous i can't say it went downhill from ch 1. Like any good story it had it's ups and downs. Did I like everything that happened.... Of course not. Did I enjoy the story and look forward to reading it....... Yes. If Anon thought the story went downhill why then did they continue to read it until the end?

My only criticism of the story is that while there are incest aspects of the story with his sister and mom, maybe the story would have been better off in the romance category.

Other than that i believe it to be a very good read and look forward to seeing more of your work.

Ok, this chapter got all confusing. Previous chapter, their one child to start and Beth pregnant. Now there are like four children and Beth still pregnant. Did the author skip a year. In my opinion the story was good until this part 8. Looks like the author just thrown stuff just to finish the story or just to kill it. Other than that a great story to read.

I'm curious as and generally perplexed as to what I perceive to be kind of a plot hole. Why do Beth and Jenny insist they need lots of cock while in college but since they know he won't like it come up with an anal solution, only to, when he "sets them free" enter into a monogamous relationship with the first guys they find? Add to that once they are all back with Steve, albeit with his "approval" go ahead and take Anthony and Don as their part time lovers and gladly? If I were Steve I'd look at that whole scenario as being suspect. Don't get me wrong BMS, I do like your storytelling and writing style and have been a fan for a while, this just perplexed me a bit. I feel like your stories are gravitating more and more towards the Loving Wives than the Incest genres. Maybe it's time to try your hand at few straight LW stories. Could be an exercise in stirring up new ideas and directions you want to explore and flex your creative muscles.

I think it was a great way to end it. everyone was happy and healthy and still in love. it was kind of like a win win even though jenny wasn't with steve. and i think it was great that you wrote it so sara recovered. great story all over m8 cant wait to see your next

I am a BIG fan of your work and I am definitely happy you kept Sara alive. I am not as happy with three triple penetrations or even one for that matter. I was surprised by reading about the women using Don and Anthony if they needed to at Steve's insistence as that was his big hang up, having Jenny move on was a good thing as well. I would have loved more of Steve and mom.

You did good having Sarah live it would of been a mistake to kill her. Jenny moving on was right as during and after the island she showed she didn't really care for his feelings, I feel Phoebe sort of learnt her lesson after she found everything out after the island and the intervention. Non of them got the tests he put them through.

My big problem and is what is kind of driving me to give one of your stories a 1 star is the sharing there is no way someone with that level of insecurities and hangups would every cope with them using other people, especially Sarah and as much as I like that Sarah was his wife if she did screw others then she deserves to get kick out on his ass. She was the one that allowed him to do the others but knowing how he reacted to them saying they wanted other men why would anyone who lives him put him through that, I mean there is no way he would cope with doing a triple penetration. I'm choosing to believe that Sarah didn't have sex with others after that blow job as he makes it clear that would kill his love for her if she ever did and I so want him to have at least one woman in his life that cares enough about his emotional well being to not do that. That's why I really do think that as much as this has been a good series this last part has been the worst you have ever wrote.

Next time leave the sharing out or at least set it up in a way that the MC is not emotionally damaged. But my preference is no other blokes as it kind of kills the feeling over a alpha male MC protecting his women.

I agree with some of the comments about the child situation but I also realize that time does pass and while sometimes your brain rushes ahead of your fingers and you don't explain with your fingers when your brain knows the rest of the story... all in all good read... I do look forward to further installments of this story. Maybe you could delve more into phoebe's submissive personality and explore that some more.

I’m not sure you really let Sara live, her character disappeared for the most part. As for the rest of the story I enjoyed it. I was a bit confused about the children (last I knew Beth was expecting and phoebe and Sara were pregnant) bringing Jenny back was good, however, I think she should have to go through a submissive phase first. Maybe make her Sara’s slave

I got to be honest I think you should have left the story how you originally planned because despite Sara being alive you couldn't really feel as though she was there and then her being alive led to Jenny ending up with someone else which felt out of character for both her and Steve the feeling of the last parts before the wrap up made them seem like they were deeply in love then boom out of the blue married someone else I'd also like to note that an excellent story has characters that you are so invested in that their death hits you hard often enough to tear up and there is no shame in that

As a faithful reader, I was very disappointed with this story. I feel it was very disjointed. While not every story has a happy ending, you seemed to try make one with Sara’s survival. Then wasn’t even sure you made the right decision.

I’m wondering if you changed editors for this story?

I enjoyed tbis series very much until this last part. Infact after you brought back jenny i started only skimming story not really reading it. Then you had him sharing his wives with other men. This goes againt what they had come to realize and agreed to last chapter. This last chapter was a train wreck . Its almost like you had someone else write it or give you the plot. You killed Sara then you didn't. Ok that was different. After everything that was done to him previously he wanted only 1 woman to be fair. They said no he was going to get 3 because they couldn't live without him. Supposedly they learned where they went wrong and everything was good. But now at end your right back at beginning his women are fucking other guys and it tears him up but they keep doing it knowing how he feels. He says it ok but its not.

This could have been so much better but this ending was trash. 1 star for this chapter while others got 5.

i loved the way to whole story started. however, the cucking really ruined it for me. especially when Sarah fucked the others. when she knew how he reacted to it from previous relationships. sigh

You dable in between the wasted cumbubble Matt Morreau and xleglover another tard if the weak wimpi insecure wiling cuckold genre. Your style of writing make it imposible to conect on any level, your moments of super ultra white knightnes and wimpines cuckold swicharoo its mindbigling, you have no talent, i have no talent whatsoever in writing, english its not my firat language but if i wasnt sure that my gramar would give heart atacks to 99% of the population here i would have wrote one just to slap your face. Plus i would hate for the hottie blackrandl to get a heart atack because of me. Regards Adrian

The last one wasn't your greatest work. But I loved reading your stories will definitely read the rest and look out for more.

I'm sure that many reading this will find something to criticize. Isn't this true in real-life as well. Steve seemed very real to me. Although I'm willing to bet that there isn't a reader out there who was accused of raping a minor, served jail time, was abandoned by his parents, and estranged from his only sister.

I can relate to a character who is so intent on doing good for others that he loses his sense of self worth. (Excessive wealth can do this to almost anyone with a brain).

Thanks for writing - I hope to read more

The men are all the same. Any woman that wants to fuck other men is a whore. Quit with the multiple women stories, it's unbelievable. And Sara should have died.

It will be interesting to find out in the future how the kids turn out

do all the kids have steve's dom take charge streaks? do they end up having sex with women who aren't their mother? do the kids have their own harems? does steve have sex with his daughters or is that one taboo he wont cross ?

how does rest of the twenty do when they come and how much is play and how much is work ? does steve make sure the married ones that come without their husbands/wives has their blessing to have sex while the wife is their because as open as they was in school they will probabaly have sex with jenny, beth and phoebe

I'm a fan. I like to put myself in the shoes of the male lead, I understand Steve. I am confused with this story though. I missed births or miscarriages and then new pregnancies. I don't know where or when the twins came from or why Beth was pregnant for so long? Timeline was off or something. I like that this showed the difficulties of polyamory. And that they made it work. Now the sex... I have to be honest I think you OVER described it, it started ok but by the 6th section it felt more technical (like someone in an anatomy class giving a lecture) than it was erotic. Overall I liked this tale I 5 starred every section, personally I like that Sara lived. I wish the sister was more than the after thought and semi-antagonist that she appeared to be to me. And I didn't like Jenny comming back. Thanks for the tale and looking forward to more.

In the last chapter when Beth came home you announced that Phobe and Sara were pregnant now in this chapter Sara has not had a second kid and is no longer pregnant and Phobe has twins whilst Beth is still pregnant with her first, it makes no sense and takes you out of the story you are telling because its not explained.

This isn't the first time whilst in earlier chapters you say Sara helps you get out of trying to kill yourself because you and Beth broke up when It was Beth that helped you because Jenny slept with another guy when you visited her after the hospital which again was mentioned once and then rewritten so it didn't happen.

If your editor was in charge of noticing these things get rid of them because they have not done a good job

I loved this story, you explored the emotions behind the erotic decisions five stars,thank you!

Get a much better editor!!! This one did a crappy job. You can't keep story facts and names straight, along with other errors. (IE: He went fishing and hiking BEFORE Beth showed up on his doorstep.) I stopped reading in the fourth page of this chapter. It appeared to me that you just tried to get raunchier with each sex act.

Lost me. Very disappointed

Time lines are off but I can get over that what kills this for me is the way after all they went through and what Steve went through adding the men into the story completely ruined it for me. I think Sara should of died to make way for Jenny’s return and Jenny as well as the others should have remained faithfully to Steve knowing his self worth issues and his fragile mental state. I really wish you would go back and fix this issue it kills an otherwise 5 star story and makes it a 1 star.

Chapters 3-7 were fluff chapters 1,2 & 8 were awesome.

besides the continuity issues such as how did his sister have kids all of a sudden before Beth? Steve sharing ruined the whole thing. After all the issues, the heartache and break ups after the last time Steve left and the met him at the cabin the conversation they had this should have never happened. Even if steve told them they could the fear of losing him should have stopped them from doing it. Especially Sara and Beth. So after everything they not only risked losing him but driving him into suicidal depression. He's already shown he can say one thing but not be able to handle the reality of it. This chapter took it from being a great story to being just smut.

I don't think I've ever been so disappointed in an ending. Damn now I'm pissed I even read the story.

this was a great story, until steve shared his women with other men. Too bad. it was good until then.

Having Sara live was a good choice, if not the way. People beat the diagnosis, techniques and medicines change, etc. But adding the other guys feels wrong for this story. After what he went thru with Jenny originally and with his mentality, I dont see him pulling her back in. Instead giving her a position like his mom, and she ends up with one of the other guys would have been better.

Should have stopped around part 4. Seems obvious you either lost interest in writing the story or you just wanted to see how weird you could make it.

I love some stories to be completely factual. Then I love some stories to be absurd fantasies with lots of sex and that's what you gave us here. You can pick any story to death but I think this is one of the best on the site.

I say yes to keeping Sara alive. Loved the story couldn't stop ready it and glad I could without wiating

I love that you kept Sara alive. I also like the fact you brought jenny back. However I hate the fact she left him again. I also hate it was for Anthony. He knew the history between them and also some of the MC previous relationships history and I don't think he could have done that to him. Anthony obviously cares for MC and that why he went off on the girls and such so I just cant see him taking one of the girls. Also including the men in the last sex scene didn't sit right with me. He legit sits crying in the shower one minute and then brings in other guys for the sole purpose of them to have sex with the girls. I believe you were trying to show character growth but I don't buy it and it ruined the story. Then Jenny fucks off and marries Anthony. I loved the story but the last little bit killed it for me. Ill just pretend those parts didn't happen. It's your story and so you wrote it how you felt so kudos are still warranted.

I love Sara!!

A little too much "yes, no, maybe, I don't know" and if I had self-esteem issues I wouldn't share my wife/girlfriend.

Yes I love her but I "allow" her and then also watch / participate ?

Shoot me

So yes, all well and good, a great story, but the finale with the sharing ruins it for me.

Janie's explanation about meeting her husband Seth is strange. She met him after a trip to the island. Did he solve her financial problems? Did she start dating him? Did Steve see him in the dorm? But then after Christmas with "20," Janie says she loves Steve and will be faithful to him. Then right after she arrives, back to bed with Seth? After the divorce and going back to Steve, she says her husband only licked her pussy for the honeymoon. Before that it was mentioned that he has a small penis but is good at cunnilingus.

The chronology is not clear. When Beth comes back, Steve only had one child with Sarah. When Janie comes in, Beth has just given birth and Steve already has three big kids with Sarah and Phoebe.

When Steve finds out Sarah is sick, she is pregnant with her second child. What is wrong with him or the pregnancy is not mentioned further.

The author describes Janie and Beth's breasts and figure and mentions, "nothing will stop aging." This is 5 years after they met, when the girls were 18-19 years old. They are 23-25. Old already? Steve is very young. He's only 35. Only ten years older.

Steve has nothing to be offended by. By the time Phoebe, Janie, and Beth finished college, he was already married to Sarah. They couldn't marry him. And he couldn't pick one of them and couldn't offer an alternative.

He could have suggested that they go to college in New York or Miami. Or he himself could have moved temporarily to their city, rented or bought a house and lived with them while they studied.

And after all that, he fucking puts his wives, his children's mothers under his security guards? He's out of his fucking mind. And why would those guards agree with that? Why wouldn't they? Why not use the rich jerk and his wives. They certainly don't offer him their women. Phoebe and Beth are cheating on Steve with his employees and everything is fine as long as he doesn't know about it and doesn't talk about it. Then : now it's just you? It's not clear if Janie took advantage of the "gift" or not. But having an orgy with his women and his employees?

It's not fantasy, it's crazy nonsense.

Either the author suffers from amnesia, or the chapters were written by different people. And then put together.

U are an incredible writer!!!! Ive read a few of ur pieces. Yes u had to keep sara alive n i knew with jenny coming back 1 would leave n it was only logical she would be with anthony. Once jenny n steve reunited n were so different it was obvious she would be the one to be with anthony. Only 2 critiques i have is

1. I wish this story could go on

2. Broken or not steve is to unsure of himself n makes the same mistake to many times. (He runs from his problems) the reason this is confusing is bc someone trading to make their fortune needs to have conviction. Someone willing to make these trades would have to be very self confident ive never met a trader who wasnt cocky as can be lol

Shitty. When he was pathetic to share his women

Loved the characters in this. Steve is so fucked up. But that is part of what helps make this story so good. The way we all might behave it was us that was in that position. Them who criticise and have not written their own should walk in another person shoes first. This is all a fantasy. Yes some part will not be favoured by some. so what. I liked it all BigMadStorke. Thanks for a really good read. It has been much appreciated.

I know most people will disagree, but I´m pretty sure that the right way to end this story is with Steve´s death. It should have been a couple of chapters ago. While being with Phoebs a Beth. Maybe they are both pregnant, he doesn't even know it. Heck, they don´t even know it yet.

Give him a nice heroic death. Saving people from a fire, blizzard, wreckage, whatever. It´s not random. He wants to die. He just can't cope with all the feelings and heartache.

Even with your ending, you can tell he´s not happy, and never will be. He´s got 3 wives and a gazillion children and is crying in the shower because Jenny went to fuck Anthony. BTW, he loved Jenny the most and is the only one that could have made him truly happy, had she been true to him.

Okay, you asked for my opinion, here it is...

I am VERY SATISFIED/HAPPY with the way the whole story turned out...Steve is still fucked up, but he has "matured" enough to have Anthony and Don (his employees!!) join in an "airtight" fucking of two of his wives, AND a newly returned girlfriend (Jenny)...THIS IS A MAJOR MOVE FORWARD...SHOWS HE IS REALLY A PERV, LIKE SO MANY OF THE READERS HERE!! Good On Him!!

Sara...your choice to keep her in the story, and alive, was a "most excellent" decision...she is the glue that holds this household together...and you may as well have killed Steve off at the same time...he would want to go on without Sara (Sara being the biggest surprise as far as the wives, from my perspective...a borderline applicant who Steve saw something in her that would be productive...I concur with his love of her!!)

As another reader commented, I also would like to see a sequel, of some type!! This is too good to let go!!

Thank You for the story...as you said, you had an emotional attachment to the writing of the entire series...Sara's entire being/remaining was certainly demanding on you, making the decision of whether she stays/goes!!

I will echo a few points.. this needed an editor that actually reads what is on the page aloud to others..first off this chapter sucked big time..

You go from just having Daniel in the house and Beth delivering soon and the other two pregnant.. to having a bunch of kids.. timeline screw up and didn't make sense at all..

The Sara cancer part was just dumb

The "wives" aren't making any sense either.. knowing his past and his issues they go and sleep with not just don and Anthony but others.. even Sara.. then you have him bring in Don and Anthony to air tight the 3 that were up to fucking.. come on they wanted him to sleep with them all.. he repeatedly said he should be true to his wife Sara and let them go.. Sara and the girls pushed him to stay with him BUT then they go and have sex with others.. you killed this entire series with this chapter. 1* I'd give -5* if I could.. while harems aren't realistic you literately turn him into a cuckold cause sara fucked others guys and lied about it to his face.. that's not swinging or sharing that's cuckold and cheating.

Yes we know it's not reality, but you did ask for our opinion. So here goes...As the story goes, ya it was fun and fucked up, but I went with the flow. Killing Sara off? Big mistake, so I'm glad you kept her around, the whole Cancer thing was kind of stupid. Bringing Jenny back? Why, that part of his life should have just ended, she made her choice, it was wrong, Steve should have just said sorry, we will be friends but that's it. He still had problems sharing his women, you had him crying in the shower FFS. Then you finish it off with TP's for all the girls at the end. That never should have happened. He had no mental stability to even stand that. Then you say all his wives have been sharing Anthony and Don for a long time? Really? He's a Cuck now? I think even with what Anthony said to all the women about their lives changing cause he was in it, he never would have accepted Steve's idea of fucking his wives. He knows what Steve is like sharing his women, I would have said, "Boss, I love you, I would take a bullet for you, but I would never ever sleep with your woman" And the women should have accepted the fact that they were his and his alone, they knew what he was like, they had to deal with that or leave forever. The last chapter made me hate the whole thing. You got five stars for all the other's, one star for the ending. Editing, timeline, names fucked up, could have been better, but who cares, it's a free story, we can deal. My mind is smart enough to work it out on my own. Unless there was a completed re-write of this chapter, I would never read a continuation of it, so let's bury it and let it die. I love your work, keep up the great stories, and thank you for all you share

This story keeps getting worse Maddog. You sure like patting yourself on the back in the comments. I guess you are officially your own biggest fan. It’s kinda embarrassing watching you blow smoke up your own ass.

This is one of the best stories I have ever read. Constant tears and hopes being juggled, up and down emotions, and Sara living was the best ending.

Interesting story. Ending was okay. I prefer happy endings. Jenny was not my favorite character.

Cant be too much of a critic. Sex, laughter, hate, tears damn what a story- thank you …great read

How is this a happy ending when the main character ends up in the same pain that almost killed him only worse, betrayed by everyone?

I enjoyed the level of emotion in the story, but in the end, think that the amount of emotional blackmail turned me off (even more than the pegging and spanking scene). None of the characters ended up being truly likable, as they were all truly evil to someone else during the story. And to have Steve give up on the one thing that he had planted his flag on throughout the story at the end, was just too much for me.

I'm sorry to see Steve give the women the opportunity to hurt him and the women chose to take it,good women never stray

Yes, Death to cancer sucks, and Daniel needs his attached, bio mom!

Honestly the when he started to share it ruined the whole story for me. I was barely able to finish it. If you truly love someone such as the 4 of them, you wouldn't share outside said group.

This by far has been my favorite story on here. The fact that you added the twist with Sara is a taste of reality within the story. I will definitely continue to check back for more of your writing.

I am VERY glad that Sara lived, I would've hated for her to die!

I did NOT like him sharing his women with Anthony and Don. Also, who was the father of Jenny's baby? Was it her new husband or Steve?

So, killing your darlings is never fun. And killing of Sara this late in the game didn't feel right.

As for the story itself, I liked some parts, not everything.

Didn't like the fact that the main character doesn't really grew as a character at the end. You describe him as someone with trust issues towards women, yet you really wrote him more like someone with very low self esteem and a self sabotaging personality. He'd be a better rounded character if he learned to stand up for himself more during the story.

I do like the way you write your sex scenes. They're fun and descriptive without falling too often into the "ooooooh, ahhhhh big penis tiny pussy" tropes. Didn't like the male ass play. Finger in ass on prostate? Sure. Stuffing balls and dildo's in there for pegging? Not my cup of tea. Same with the extremer end of the BDSM stuff. Just not for me personally. Other people probably enjoyed that a bit more. Funnily enough I did enjoy the spanking. Though the teasing part, not the hurting for the sake of hurting part. Pain is no turn-on for me.

Your writing was kind of over the place, probably too many scenes, characters and situations. Though, having read some of your other stories that you wrote both later and earlier, you can see your own personal growth as a writer. Looking forward to sampling more stories you published on Literotica.

On your last question YES.

5 stars

Alot of psychological and dark themes that drew a vivid picture. Great story and space settings. Some twists and turns were unexpected. Sara living was good as it would cause detriment to the Daniel and Steve's psyche would have been shattered.

Keeping Sara alive was cool didn't like how Jenny ends up

interesting enough to read more or less to the end ... no redeeming literary value ... Steve is a horrible chacter with all his "do good" pretensions and ego ... however, more character development and a clearer plot could have made this a story to remember

You were right to keep Sara alive.

Think it was right to keep Sara alive, not convinced about Jenny and then going off with Antony. Thank goodness you didn't bring Julia back. In the end I think the amount of sex detracted from an interesting storyline of a seriously flawed man and a series of somewhat lesser flawed women.

Has to be one if the stupidest outcomes ever. I mean tgmhe help has been fucking all the wifes and it didn't some up until a page or 2 from the end

Hells yeah you were. And thankyou for that. Excellent craftsmanship. Much live

Since Jenny ended up with Anthony, Sars should have been kept alive. Otherwise it could be done either way.

Was there a part 7.5 where Don and Anthony became involved with the "wives"?