All Comments on 'Four Times'

Good grief. 3K words in and author’s still working on the set up.

Finally! About 4.5K words into it we are getting to the point!

So funny how some people try to dictate to others how their story should go. haha Especially from people that contribute nothing here.

It was a good story. Its just a story people.

I dont normally like the ending style here, but ... I felt it showed the true feelings of the people and their motivation was in question. Thank you

The explanation of the pledge was pretty weak to me. He didn't fight or argue about that when it occurred? He didn't look at his wife (or was she a GF then?) and lay it out as a no way in hell deal? From that point on I would not trust her with Steve for a second let alone wait for the death of one of the 4.

This is like the "Hall Pass" stories where 10 or 20 or 30 years later the wife pulls it out and says she is spending a night or weekend with the new guy from work because she has that dusty old hall pass note saved up.

Okay, a really good story line went right into the hopper. Too bad.

Five stars. Extremely well done. Horrifying.

The rational, life-long best friend in Steve's shoes would have too much pride and fealty to Dean to ever act upon some old, girly drama "oath". But then Steve is an effing lawyer. You chose the perfect amoral foil! Dean's rationale at the top of page 2 was the perfect response! Dean needs to burn the oath and once divorce papers are filed, its existence becomes a perfect straw man used by the cheaters. I liked your approach, better! Ditto the ring!

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Lines like this separate your writing from most others: [Ashley was the double-edged sword at the center of my fear and my misery. It made me consider things I should never have had to consider. That's what I did, there, in the darkness.] So much meaning in so few words, put together so well! Moreover, you put emotion into your scenes and conversations. Too many stories here have these scenes built around monologues and hyperbolic diatribes. You write dialogue using both tags and action beats to their best advantage, which are the spice and condiments of good writing.

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I loved the ending! So, non-LW! The ultimate BTB that while not quite, "...a life well lived," came close. One thing, though. The perfect last line should've been, "Nawwww, Emily. F*uck 'em! Let 'em suffer with the guilt of their actions! Let's hit the angel food buffet and the catch up on old times!"

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5++++/5!

Well done.

Awesome story, sad story. 5 stars from me.

This being a "Loving Wives" tale, I wish that there had been greater repercussions for Steve. Compared to what Ashley was dealing with, Steve got away with his venality.

Wow touching and sad. 5*

This is going to get a lot of comments as it is very provocative (well done you). As the author, it is of course your right to end it how you choose to, and fair enough that's acknowledged, BUT having provoked the thought in the reader of 'how do we handle this?' you then dodge the bullet completely by killing off the 'victim' without answering that question (not so well done you). And what about the children? In the end, the nice guy loses, as always, and the bastard steals the wife, Yawn! (Did you make the bastard a lawyer for a reason btw?).

I was engaged with this story all through and the ending just left me flat. I didn't vote, and that is my right as the reader (I'm not a 'one bomber'). I think you should have dealt with it rather than descend into the 'stop believing now' realms of the supernatural. Thanks for the read, but you blew it at the end for me. That's just my opinion, and I am entitled to it, but as I said, it's YOUR story.

You have convinced me enough to read more of your stuff, and I hope what I've written you'll take as constructive. I just hope we don't get a million 'February Sucks like' alternatives on this one too!

Death should not be incorporated into stories, especially suicide. Just a cheap way out. There were some good points but the suicide ruined it for me.

It was almost a great story. Why death?

The ending was as it should be. No other way. If Dean came back, it would be the end of his marriage and the two of them would have gravitated to each other. One thread in this story was common to most cheating loving wife stories is that the prospective cheater will the most illogical and stupid point to justify their despicable actions. Nothing in the argument Ashley presented to Dean that she had to fulfill her “pledge' to Emily was true. The only aspect of the story I hated was Dean dying. Ashley should have been saddled with the sorrow of the loss of her marriage. Finally, in what I suppose was heaven, why was deans' dad proud of him? Was it because if Dean had lived, he would have been crushed by Ashley's actions. If there's really a God, then Steve would die a horrible death leaving Ashley alone and despondent beyond a cure. The writing of this story was very good. Regardless, of how the reader felt about the pledge, the writing elicited feeling for each character. All any reader should appreciate was in this story. Thanks.

Cookingwithgas is a good writer. I can’t help feeling a little letdown with the ending. It seemed like after a terrific buildup towards a final confrontation/resolution the reader is left unsatisfied. However, if you really read the story that was all included throughout. Really clever plot and story construction. Well done!

You've crafted an interesting story and you developed a supporting plot. But I was surprised on the last page! I thought your ending was a bit rushed, having him die in an accident seemed a shortcut way of ending the built-up drama in a quick, tidy way that avoided the difficulties of the forthcoming meeting with his wife and maybe his (former) friend too. Nevertheless, a thought-provoking story line with food for reflection. Thanks for the effort to put this together.

Very weak premise.

Very different premise, but it all ends if Steve says "No" like any standup guy would. 4

First person narrative doesn’t work when the narrator is dead. The cop-out ending took what was up to that point a very good story and made it just kinda bad.

So much potential for a decent story, but alas you managed to scrape defeat from the jaws of victory. I'm kind of glad you killed of the idiot, but wish you would have killed off the slut and the asshole as well. I get what you were trying to show, which is that stupid people belong together and people with integrity should just die to save themselves from the wounds that come from trusting assholes and sluts. It may be realistic in our current world, but I don't read fiction for the reality of it...

Wow, didn't see that ending coming. Steve was an asshole, and Ashley was delusional. Good writing and a good story right up until he flew off the cliff and that seems to be where this story went. You lost 1 star for the non-ending so there we have it.

@JH4Fun - While a lack of quality in the writing can, and should, drop a story's score, being well written should be expected and thus never increase the score. Further, no story should ever be scored strictly on the technical merits of the writing. Unless you're sitting in a classroom learning how to write, the point of the story is the story itself, not the writing of it. Let me give you an example that maybe you can understand. No matter how well somebody prepares a feces pie, it's still just a load of shit...

If my significant other wanted me to poke my finger with a pin, put a bloody fingerprint on a page, and then sign it! You better believe I'm going to want to know what the heck I'm signing! And I wouldn't have signed an agreement as contentious as that! There absolutely had to be some kind of mental problems with two women being so dead set on drafting the kind and number of agreements that they did.

As far as Dean's realization that something had to have happened between Steve and Ashley the night of his bachelor party. The writer never gives Dean's character the opportunity to discuss the issue and get any closure with Ashley and/or Steve. At least Dean could have argued that the bachelor party drive home COUNTS as Steve and Ashley's first of the four encounters. I am of the opinion that the second encounter would involve a baseball bat.

I also feel that the writer 'chickened out' with the way this story ends. Shoot, if Dean had gone over a cliff and had a near death experience, waking from a coma two weeks later. That would have been more preferable. He could have had a vision of everything Emily showed him, then she could have told hum to go back as they still needed him. BUT NO. Steve and Ashley, who seemed to conspire together to keep Dean in the dark, only revealing what they thought was 'best' for him! They get to live on, resplendently continuing their love affair. Dean really had a crappy life, crappy wife, crappy friends, and a crappy end to his existence. I don't feel right about rating this too high. It was actually kinda depressing.

A follow up. At risk of repeating 'February Sucks', I would like to see some alternative endings to this. It just feels unfinished. I still say Dean didn't get his voice heard by Ashley and Steve never got truly revealed as the back stabbing lawyer he was. Steve read Dean like a book and took advantage of his nature over the years. Ashley needs to see Steve for exactly what he is.

...back a third time for things that don't set well. Ashley. What's wrong with this chick? She never seems to click to the level of betrayal she extended toward her husband Dean. How many times did she engage in discussions with Emily or Steve or Emily and Steve...FIRST...without speaking to Dean? Dean was always the last to know. The perfect example of this is that Steve knew about the four hook-ups, sex swap before Dean! He and Ashley had already discussed it and were planning out the sessions! Ashley should have spoken to Dean first.

Steve needs to pay. Ashley is consumed by guilt (as she should be), but he got off Scot free

While the writing itself is quite good, the plot holes weaken the story badly. Intelligent adults, a lawyer and an engineer, sign a blood oath without reading it.? Putting that aside, it was a enjoyable read until he allowed theses to continue, while supposedly completely against it. The ending was probably the worst cop out ever written into an LW story and there have been some doozies.

Great story, crap ending. I was considering a 5 but pulled back to 3, and only just 3.

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Boy, you must have hated Dean to treat him like you did in this story. There wasn't a decent character in this story. Pieces of shit every one of them. If Dean would have just had the balls to tell them to get fucked he would still be alive, wouldn't he. Won't score it now, would be at best a 2.

I have it one start because I hated that he died. It was a poor choice for an ending, especially with the angel nonsense (or facsimile of an angel).

Needs a proper ending with the cheating wife

The pits. If you set something up, then completely cop out, you've cheated all of us. D

Holy shit was that a dumb, by the numbers, hall pass type of idiocy.

Next time apply a little effort at least. I had to skim it after a bit because...well, dumb.

Different, and a good story that was well written. I just feel it ended too soon. What happened to Ashley? She had to review all those broken promises and probably realize that Steve took advantage of her and his actions destroyed her marriage and helped cause Dean's death. If Ashley doesn't go nuts, she'll probably hate Steve with a passion - i.e. if he knocks on her door, she'll open it with a loaded gun (shotgun) pointed straight at him and tell him to lose her number and never speak to her again. Ashley will have serious guilt for the rest of her life, and probably is a suicide risk. If she survives, she'll be a broken person.

Eventually the kids will find out. Wonder how dear old Steve will handle his daughter Haley and maybe Destiny telling him that he is a bastard, and they will never speak to him again. Should be interesting when Haley gets married (maybe she elopes) and tells him she doesn't want his money and he can go rot in Hell.

Steve is due for major Karma payback. Life happens and he lost his wife to cancer. Having friends help you is one thing, coveting a friends wife is way over the line. Hope he lives a long life, but is very lonely, in lots of pain physically and mentally, and is hated by friends and family and hates himself.

I can see why this story was so low rated. Only two from me for the ditzy women and the scum bag lawyer.

What a fucked up story!!! It it was good!

Well written piece of s***. Hated it.

The end wrecked a good story, although the pledge business was a mighty thin reed to hang all that verbiage on

Loved the first 4 pages. Beautifully written.

I'm not as satisfied by the end. Our narrator's death feels like missing a step in the dark. It deprives us of something I wanted – some righteous confrontation with Ashley, I guess? But on the other hand his death makes her suffer her guilt forever with no possibility of atonement or forgiveness. That's fucking brutal, and should be harsh enough to satisfy any BTB cravings. I don't know. I'll need to think about it more.

Your writing is great, and I'm a fan.

Really enjoyed your story , and while , yes , I would like more of it than an end in the after life, it at least ends the story with an acceptable resolution. Of course , it gives everyone room to decide the final result of this pledge on everyone. Two of them gone. An interesting story , with curious deliberations between three friends.

Heaven with new or unrequited love returned could be in Heaven. But it also works in Hell! I guess the difference is revenge.

Really good story. It had to end the way it ended for me I think. But like "Just Once" and "Feb Sucks" this one is a natural for sequel endings. Well done!

So is this a story about a wife leaving a husband temporarily while he loses his mind and divorces his wife then takes an odd left turn into the great beyond or was this a story about a woman (Emma) who planted some absurd blood oath in two weak-minded individuals (Ashley and Steve) so she could spend eternity with her first and true love Dean? Was she getting messages from Deans parents all along and misread them by marrying Steve who, now outside of time and space and emotion knew she'd die of cancer and wanted their son back with them? I really feel like there could be a follow-up to this, I like most of these stories from Gas, I don't "love" some of the unnecessary things dropped into them all the time but at the end of the day I'm looking to read free smut on a free site so the fact that this stuff gets posted and linked at all is a win for me.

What the fuck did I just spent an hour reading?! The cuck finds peace in dying?!

After reading many of the comments it seems some of the readers got a bit lost in their comprehension of what they were reading. According to the story Ashley was deeply in love with him, agonized over it through summer. They were in their early 20s! Supposedly in their late 20s early 30s they drew up the blood oath to which Steve actually began to contest with the two wives, but Dean intervened. This tells me Steve being the lawyer originally didn’t agree with it But let it go at Dean’s nudging “happy wife, happy home“. In hindsight Dean realizes his blunder “fuck. Me.” It came back to bite him in the ass in their mid to late 40’s. I bring up the ages because we mature. Most of us anyway!!!

I think one of the small mysteries plays a big part, which was where had the scrapbook actually been located for so many years. Dean said he never seen it around the house. So does this maybe mean Steve shared the scrapbook with Ashley after he was possibly reminiscing through it and came upon line 14. (or maybe Em brought to his attention in a dream or Ash an Em discussed it during her final days). Another point to Steve’s character, he lied to Dean in the very convincing heartfelt phone call after the night of the bachelorette party where he slept with Ashley. Their kiss on the dance floor! Steve is definitely a self centered manipulative gaslighting narcissist scumbag.

It’s a tough call to speculate on Ashley’s heart in the end. Yes she was extremely selfish even childish in her mid 40’s to carry out something from her late 20’s. Grief effects each of us differently. (I’m very familiar) Though all the pieces were on the table taped back together, I have to ask of the timeline. Though she was racked with guilt regarding her loss (his death or his leaving her) was she aware of his death, responding to her grief when Dean, in his heavenly state, (time doesn’t work diet “as YOU know it” in this realm. I as he still alive; out of body experience) was looking over the cliff or was she not yet finished that day with Deans requests. Now that Deans dead will Steve insist she honor the blood oath and sleep with him 4x. Or through her grief and remorse will she finally come to her senses and understand Steve’s objections? Based on her guilt I believe she just might come to hate Steve.

I actually don’t want to believe Steve is dead. Maybe a sequel.

Though there could have been more details, I thought a lot of the explanations were well written. My favorite is what I call the “Mars vs Venus” explanation where Steve compares Ashley & Ems interests & importance of the blood oaths etc to his and Steves interest with fly fishing, cars and engines. Well written.

Crazy story but good!!!

Two stars for the deceitful betrayal of the wife and lawyer so called friend who conspired to betray a loyal husband. The ending was complete bullshit!

I really liked the story until the last page.

And a short while later they saw Ashley materialize in their realm. She looked confused. She told them Steve tried to kiss her while consoling her and she ran to lock herself in the bathroom. She saw the bottles of pills in the cabinet and swallowed them all. Her guilt at what she had destroyed overwhelmed her. After explaining this, she slowly started to disappear and was begging to be allowed to stay but.....

You can't have it both ways. If the cuck had gone along with their fucking around they'd continue to fuck him over. Now that he's dead they will continue to fuck him over. And the cuck is going to feel sorry for her, for them? Funny. You ended it with him thinking he was in heaven. Watching his wife and his supposed best friend continue to fuck him over will be Hell. Will Emily own her part in the breakup of their relationship? If Emily can influence people in their sleep, then why didn't she influence her asshole husband and whore best friend to abandon this asinine promise before the marriage was destroyed? But in a way he deserves it. Steve should have been beaten within an inch of his life, and Ashley served with divorce papers after the first fuck-a-thon. Whatever. The plot was as lame as the premise. But thanks for the effort.

I read a lot of the comments and agree. It had potential the you threw it away.

Just crap. I think it could have went somewhere but then it just went to crap.

We'll written. You created a universe with only 4 people in it, then one dies. That's the only way this works. Imagine anyone else finding out about this insanity. Family? Coworkers? Neighbors? Did they really have no other friends? Anyone would have at least told them they'd lost the plot.

What a shit fucking ending....the premise and the setup were nice, though the MC was WAAAYYY too passive. But that ending is godawful. So the MC dies, he doesn't deserve to die, he has done nothing wrong, but he gets "punished". While the cheaters and conspirators get to fall in love all over again and live happily ever after? Just wow...lolololol. just for the ending the rating plummets like her wedding vows.

I finished this last night - and I just had to come back this morning and re-read the ending.

This was awesome! A new story line - at least for me - and I enjoyed it so much I stayed up very late to finish it. :)

This is WAY better than the score indicates. Sure, it stretches believability a bit. However, the number of comments alone prove how engaging and emotional the storyline is. Bravo!

If Steve was half the friend that he was thought or claimed to be he would say "forget the whole thing, it is causing Dean too much pain". If Ashley Cared in the least for her husband she would say the same thing. However they didn't, so there is only one conclusion. Ashley and Steve want a "Hall Pass" to fuck. They have probably already been fucking all the way along just want Dean to "get over it" or give them a "hall pass". If I was Dean I'd just shoot them both while they were fucking and "get it over with"! What a bunch of Assholes! They want to "Piss" on Dean and tell him it is raining on him. I can't really Identify with Dean, but I can feel for him. His best Friend is knifing him in the back. He would steal Ashley in a hot second. Neither give a shit about the pain they are inflicting on Dean. My instinct would be to give them pain right back. Because if they gave a shit about Dean they would call this thing off. Obviously they don't so why give them ANY benefit of the doubt. 5 stars. Another Kobayashi Maru, no win scenario.

Great writing, good story, but sorry, the ending wasn't for me.

What a Fantastic Story. Great Writing! When a writer can come up with a real "no-win" scenario like this the Story will be remembered as earth shaking as it is. This Story is right up there with George Anderson's "February Sucks" and "The Bridge" Super Powerful and Heartbreaking. Dean was afraid to be alone, had never cheated on Ashley yet she felt empowered by Steve to "push" fucking him and turning him into a Cockhold totally against his will. This wasn't making up for Steve's loss. This was using the loss of Em as a weapon to get a "free pass" for Sex without Guilt. That is all this was about. Ashley wanted to "fuck" Steve without guilt, and Dean wasn't putting up with it. Ashley can now spend the rest of her life Hating herself for hurting Dean so badly that he ended up dying. Whether on purpose or not, it was truly Ashley's doing. She will hate herself and be very destructive to herself. Just like the beautiful woman down the street from where I live, whose husband committed suicide because she cheated. Ashley will now and the rest of her life get to pay the price for her "cheating" with Steve. Ashley could only pay "lip service" to Dean, but couldn't really demonstrate true love for Dean. thus Ashley truly will had her "Karma" come back and slap her in the face. 5 stars for Great writing

Stupid ending and the M.C? Was weak beyond comment. He should have threatened divorce immediately.

I liked it till the end. Felt like a cop out...or you were saying he never should of swapped in the first place. Either way Steve and Ashley both got what they wanted. He got her and she fulfilled her childish pledge that most people stop doing in the 5th grade. Em wasn't rational she was using the pledge to ease the suffering of loosing a friend. Em must of understood the damage this would of done. All of these characters are twisted and selfish the only one that wasn't suffered and died.

How do you tell your kids your dad died because he left when I had to honor by blood oath to fuck my dead best friends husband four times? Well written but sad on to many fronts to count.

The Title should be changed to "Four Times with Steve the Snake and the cuckold death of Dean" Steve tried Ashley first in college then he decided that Em was better and he got them to switch. Steve then fucked Ashley during the bachelor celebration and decided that he wanted Ashley after Em death. Steve was a scumbag lawyer and that whole scene at the end from on high was total bullshit. This story started pretty good but the whole story went off the cliff for a generous 2 rating (you probable eliminate the ones so I gave you two).

I hate dead people endings but this was a very good story all along. Him telling the daughters he was having problems with his wife? Why not just tell them? They'd always want to know especially as they'd come to believe he committed suicide.

What a fantastic story. There are so many LW stories out there that finding a new angle must be so difficult, this is the closest I have found for a long time. I had to read some parts again to make certain I understood it but it was worth doing. Thank you. (Isn't it strange how the majority of the negative comments are always anonymous!)

Apparently I can’t read nearly as well as I thought I could, since I seem, to have gotten something very different than most who commented.

I see this story as starting with two very liberal/progressive women and a couple of guys who go with the flow—just so long as the flow leads them to pussy.

Steve, the fledging lawyer—you know the type, the ‘I’ll lie cheat or steal for my client’ guy, is the male bad guy lead who screws his buddy’s bride just before he plays the part of Best Man at the wedding.

Next we have Ashley, a dumb bitch who, like the progressive she is, knows much better than you what’s best for you. Of course there’s her sidekick, Emily, who from the beginning tires of fucking Dean and foists him off on friend Ashley then the four of them skip merrily through life as the four musketeers—until the big ‘C’ takes Emily away.

Last but not least is the dumbest SOB ever to run afoul of a couple of con-artists and he starts proving it when he lets Emily talk him into taking Ashley off Steve’s hands, Thus they start a beautiful 4 way friendship. (Or should we say a 3 way love affair with one gullible fool thrown in the mix?)

Sometime during the next 20 years we find a pact was made and signed in blood—while I’m not sure if Dean remembers anything about it or not, it finally comes back to bite him in the ass.

This brings us to the ending/non-ending so many find objectionable, and but I think the problem lies in them and not “cookingwithgas”. In fact he/she (Don’t you wish these writers would at least indicate their gender and general location?) has done a creditable job of writing a ‘life after death’ scene that jibes very well with reported instances.

So-----c/w/g does give us an ending—just not the ending many of us would prefer—for instance I would have rather seen Dean come back, report what happened and mess with Steve and Ashley’s mind when he points out what he saw when he was “dead”.

Constructive criticism? You could probably tighten up the dialogue where Ashley and Dean argue. I still give you a 5 and thank you for a free read. cd

I read all of the negative comments and I can't understand why you are still getting such a high score? This story needs a different ending. ** only because you might cut *star.

Wow!

No, suicide wasn’t the answer, divorce was. What did suicide achieve?

Drove her into that cunt Steve’s arms.

What a fucked up ending

Scores 1/5 and deservedly so.

There were parts of this story that were excellent and others that I am on the fence on. I first found the "dead person's point of view" to be corny, but recognized that it was done in such a way to explain what was really going on in the minds of the Steve and Ashley. I wouldn't be surprised if that was a part the author mentioned having trouble sorting out.

You have two couple who have lost a member and a wife wanting to console the widowed spouse at the risk of losing her own marriage. How do you reconcile an act that some find impossible to reconcile? If you find the mourning-fuck to be too much, then you have to go into the detail about the fallout. If you don't want to follow the cookie cutter BTB or RAAC (while living, anyway) options, then you have to let the tragedy play out.

I didn't particularly care for the ghost ending, but it wasn't badly done. Many authors would have abandoned the first person narrative to convey the tragic ending in a different manner, but this author was intellectually honest enough to stick to their format and work it out.

What a totally Fucked up story!!!

No redeeming qualities...

Such a divine cuck story.

Enjoyed the story. You are the writer, can write stories as desired. I as the reader would have liked a different ending, but nothing wrong with this spin on how the end. Interesting to see that they just talked, and did not finish it.

You have a very well written awful story.

4.5 pages of bollocks and half a page of pathetic fucking rubbish

The ending was absolute horse shit. You had a decent story going, but it started going downhill once you didn't have him actually make it absolutely clear that divorce was going to happen the moment she slept with the asshole. Then you went and completely ruined it with the afterlife ending.

But then, I've come to expect these fucked up unhealthy endings from most of the writers in the LW section, it's like the most diseased personalities find themselves there.

I guess I'm not like most others here. I absolutely enjoy stories that are different. Any well-written story can come to life and I think yours does. Thanks for the effort and publishing it.

Really enjoyed most of the story but you couldn't stick the landing. The ending was cowardly and dumb.

Quite good, but I have to agree with chess1972's comment: the ending just didn't do it, for me at least.

That was unexpected. I was waiting for him to exit with dignity, and leave the other two in shambles. Now it’s just gonna look like suicide, and Ashley and Steve will be justified in coming together. Ouch.

You told a very good story that you completely destroyed with your end. Apparently you haven't found a more cowardly way to end the story. So he exits as the cuckold you sketched him as. The ex boyfriend is the big winner. And the slut who was supposed to be his wife will soon have forgotten him. Otherwise she would never have been able to complete the deception against his will. Sorry, but I'll give you 2* for your writing, actually the story with this ending would have deserved 0*!

What an absolute crap ending. Omg I so so wish I hadn’t read it. Can’t find any mor words to describe my disappointment.

I agree with so many of the other readers. You wrote a quality opening to your story. Even the trading of girlfriends was well done if not very plausible. But then the ending leaves such a hole in the story that it taints your entire effort. So he dies and Steve gets what he wanted in the first place. Steve wins and Dean end up just another cuckold.

Dang. You were doing so well. It felt like you just got tired of writing and stopped.

so evidently both sluts liked lawyer boy best and made some pact b/w themselves that emely won 1st dibs then ashley got him 2nd? why did either girl date/fuck mental boy much less get stuck w/ marrying him? lawyer boy prolly in on the original agreement back in college. rk

good writing but i guess a strong mc was to hard to figure an ending for.

Not that it matters but--until the plot turn with him on his vacation--I actually had some hope that Dean would keep his cojones and perhaps with long-term counseling (if in fact Ashley actually hadn't fucked Steve on their weekend out of an epiphany of insight) Dean and Ashley might reconstruct a new relationship as "sadder but wiser" people who loved each other.

The story was well written, but just like most if not all the other commenters I didn't find the ending to have any value at all. Please re-write and don't leave this a story with the equivalent of a "deux ex machina" suddenly swooping down from the heavens to "solve all the problems" with god-like (but ultimately irrelevant) finality.

Please--this story deserves better. More please.

So old Dean just up and dies. Couldn't come up with a better ending. Also ol Dean should have walked when Ashley first brought up this idiocy

That story ranged from really good to excellent, until you wussed out at the end. Dying erases the climax.

Thankfully I checked the comments first. The subject line had me worried this was another cuck shit pile. Won't rate it since I didn't read it. At least have the courage to add a cuck tag from now on.

I'd decided to make this story a favourite until you just up and killed Dean.

It's bullshit.

A person who died out of grievance over a cheating wife is as bad as any cuckold who lives to take her back

You might as well have ended the story where he eats Ashley's pussy while Steve fucks his asshole..............uuugh🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕 you wimps make me sick

What a pile of crap! It us apparent this was written by a woman. I evaluate stories, on if they were in each person’s best interest. Lets delve into that....

#1. Steve and Dean were actually not life long friends. They became friends, because the two woman they were fucking were.

#2. As soon as the two of them “ switched” girlfriends, that would have been the end of their “ friendship”. No man will ever tolerate another in his presence, who he considers competition.

#3. The blood oaths, were stupid. I doubt any girl thru puberty would have been involved with that, or would have agreed to allow themselves to fuck the others spouse.

#4. Once everything is out in the open, hubby files for divorce. This bullshit about” maybe she is suffering a mental breakdown, and we can go to counseling”, would never happen.

#5. Every woman wants to think, that her guy would die for her. That regardless of what she puts him through, he will still be by her side. The truth of the matter is- The things you love about him, you destroy when you take an action like this. For his own sanity, he has to leave.

#6. Good riddance, bitch.

The last page just fucking killed this story.

It was a well written story, but Dean was wrong and fragile I would like a re-write with Dean acting like an adult

Good ol' Aunty Klimacks, -she ALWAYS lets you down, not with a thudding jar, but rather a jarring THUD as the soggy sparklers splutter, fizzle and fade!

What a shitty story. Not quality wise but resolution wise. The assholes won, the protagonist died. Wish I could give thie -10 stars

Short, concise and to the point, BuzzCzar said it best!

Great story. It is your story. You should believe that you own this and that others might have their thoughts, but it is yours.

Dean should have put his foot down from the start. Tell Steve to Fuck Off and never see him again and tell Ashley to forget this nonsense or he’d file for D. Simple and little drama. Instead, you made Dean a WIMP cuckhold. 3/5

I guess I'm in the minority, but I think it's a good ending as is. What's the alternative? Go back and do what? Nothing can be undone. It's a hopeless situation any way it's played. This way the poor guy is just out of it and Ashley can live with the guilt knowing that she pretty much killed him, both emotionally and ultimately, physically.

The store requires a suspension of disbelief beyond this reader's understanding. While the writing was excellent the ending created a pall hanging over the entire tale. The author would have better served to let Dean die in the car crash and then write about how Ashley and Steve deal with guilt, angst, recriminations, remorse and assorted other emotions caused by the husbands death.

Page 1,

Fuck Ashley then dump all of them.

Page 2,

You're both dead to me. You had her first. Keep her.