All Comments on 'Four Times'

One of the worst endings to a decent story in this section.

Well done describing the vile mind of selfish women

not a very good ending at all all the buildup just to be let down

so i guess em went dumb and he married ashley d way to build suspense lol

It was well-written.

The story isn't bad at all.

But that's all there really is.

I never have this knack of liking any person talking to dead people.

I feel they need professional help on their mental issue.

Also stories that make author write like what the spirit of a dead person is thinking is unrealistic.

No living person knows what a spirit is thinking or doing. And I didn't like the movie "Sixth Sense".

Unless the spirit comes back to life everything is too unrealistic.

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I also have this funny feeling every time Ashley has a dialogue. I keep thinking like I am hearing Charlie Brown's teacher talking...nonsensical waah. wawaah. waaah.

SUPERB BETA MALE WIMP STORY.

Great story open to alternative endings.

This end is brutally sad, anyway.

cucks get one star

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sure he died, but he was planning on staying with the fucking whore and that makes him a cuck

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also how was it the whore learned of his death in less time that it took his cuck ghost to instantaneously travel to the whore's house moments after his death?

Fuck.. why don’t you say that you will be delusional today? Would have saved me reading this Cagivagurl type shit without any ending!! 30 mins of life I ain’t getting back. Fuck u cooking with shit!!

A very well written story Around an incredibly stupid plot that has no chance of making any sense to anybody with an IQ over 50.

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This may be the stupidest story of all time In the loving wife section

While it is a good story, its well written and is engaging, I am disappointed you finished without truly resolving the conflict you proposed in it.

Holy shit. That was a 5star heart tugging tear jerker.

Liked until the ending

You've had 10 years and couldn't FTDS!!!

Nice story, but I didn't like at all the ending... I was eishing and expecting a hard action against Ashley and of course Steve...

Confusing story with an unsatisfying end.

What a screwed up situation this is!

5

Those stories are getting worse and worse with each new 1.

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I thought the eyes of March was an incredibly stupid story that was laughably absurd. But this one is even more so. We have a husband who's dynamically opposed with every fiber is being about the stupid oath which he never really agreed to.

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Yet no matter how many times his wife goes over to we're too have sex with the other man hes still there at the house...... Why? Why?

Rubbish ending, really disappointing bull

That must be the worst ending I have ever encountered on this site, what a shame.

1 star

That was the fucking stupidest story I have read. I don't give a fuck how good of friends you are divorce would be automatic the first time she went to him.

Did not care for the ending so he dies and wife with cheating partner

What a dumb ending that totaly took a good story to the point of being a waste of a read...

Terrible ending. It was good even if ridiculous. His wife had just died and he had to screw her best friend 4 times? So that would make him ok? What about 2 or 3 months later? Would he not feel just as sad? Then the heaven thing? He should have told her at the start that what she was proposing was insane and if she went through with it she should move in with Steve because he would be gone. His death only opened the door for Steve to get what he wanted. Sure they would grieve for a while but they would get together. Didn't it all seem to happen too quickly after she died? Well written but the storyline was unbelievable.

Congratulations, now you are sad

I cannot tell if you were trying to justify the sex by making Ashley entirely delusional or if you believe that for her, it wasn't a betrayal at all because they had a pact. Regardless, there is no such thing as a devoted loving wife who RESPECTS her husband and willfully watches his soul destroyed by flaunting extramarital sex. This is why I come back to the fact that she must have been delusional in grief. But then, you didn't really paint either her or Steve that way. You went out of your way to present Ashley, in particular, as extremely sympathetic and a true loving wife while at the same time experiences an extreme sense of honor and duty to execute these pacts. Yet, outside of the sex pact, where is the evidence of this aspect of her personality? The pacts are central to the plot.

Yes, you mentioned how much Ashley and Emily dedicted time to their pacts but it stopped at one point. Further, you made no mention of other pacts that Ashley was duty bound to see through or those that involved the husbands. Laying this aspect of Ashley's personality at the feet of "justified sexual comfort" comes across as more calculating than honor bound duty.

If the pact was so important and she truly is devoted, why did she not discuss it alone with her husband rather than confront him together with Steve? Why the escalated time frame. If she is loving, concerned and empathetic why not put the breaks and try to work it through a bit more than immediately scheduling sex? Why did she not do exactly what her husband asked of her after that final weekend? He made his feelings quite plain. If she was that desperate to "fix" her marriage, why not do everything in desperation?

It's not that I don't believe your intention for the story, I am pointing out the difficulty in pulling it off. A story like this isn't realistic. To make it realistic the writer must close every plot hole and departure point. The characters cannot simply state something and it be true if the statement is in conflict with events already occurred. Characters cannot make declarations about another characters intent without at some point justifying or disproving. For example, everything said about Steve is hearsay. Was he a calculating lawyer or grieving? Saying at the end he has hope offers no clue. Yes, sometimes questions can be open ended and left to interpretation but one must be extremely vague in detail. This story has too much detail for that. It's all so convoluted. Trying to figure it out is like being stuck in a time loop.

The woman literally saw her husband destroyed and did very little. Therefore she had to be delusional? But wait, that doesn't make sense because she was clearly a duty bound person. But why was it just the sex and why was it escalated? She does seem to love her husband and clearly has guilt so she must have been delusional. But why did she....

Stupid story with a even stupider ending 👎

Great Story.

Wish it had a happy end though

Very well written

Not convinced, sorry. Any wife/husband should respect the wishes of their wife/husband if either one tells them they are going to have sex someone other than their partner if the other partner does not agree for whatever reason the wishes of the partner should be respected. "No" should be accepted as "No" nothing else. The wife in the story did not take into account her husbands feelings or point of view. So she disrespected and humiliated her husband and carried on doing so. Of course the husband let her do it so he is to blame too.

Really? 1*

What strikes me as odd about the way this is written is that we are given no insight into the sex between Steve and Ashley. Did they enjoy it? It is strange that the topic never came up in discussion between husband and wife. Are we to believe that the devastated husband was so incurious he did not bother to ask?

1* Z simple shorter story would be Old Steve quits breathing before he ever fucks Ashley. Story would be a 4-5 in that case.

Boo.

Human stupidity!

I had tears in my eyes over the ending. I know other commenters didn't like it, but I have loved and lost and even after 50 years there is still pain at times.

You work your way through this complex story in a way that makes sense; it is, after all, your universe. Thank you for posting it.

What a CRAP ENDING!!!!!

You need to rewrite the ending!

Care for the way ended, but the story line sucked.

You had a great story going until the 5th page. I appreciated the development and the story line until the ending. I would love to see someone take this from page 4 and present a proper ending and confrontation. Like your writing but didn't like this ending at all.

I agree the ending ruined it. If he waited this long for her to have all 4 plus times with Steve why not let him server the divorce papers and tell her he knew of the 5th time bachelor party? Why not tell the kids that mom is a slut with Steve? Then let him just leave financially well off and who cares about Steve and her?

Well, it was a ending. I guess he didn't have the balls to fight, so he just got out of the way. Best beta ending yet. One star.

It was a good story initially but was ruined by a crap ending. Readers are naturally going to feel disappointed that the story was left hanging with an unsatisfying conclusion. Killing Dean off was like abandoning the story. Better to left the story conclude exactly as Dean predicted it would with Ashley and Steve falling in love after their sexual trysts together. Let them marry and then have their combine guilt eat them alive and cause their marriage to fail dramatically. Allow Dean to move on and find someone else to share the rest of his life together

"You can help her. We both can, once you get used to this realm. It's best in their sleep."

If this is true, then why didn't Emily visit Ashley and Steve multiple times in their sleep prior to the fuckfess and let them know that following through on the childish promise was going to destroy all their lives and everything they held dear to them?

Really good story. I even liked the ending, which I see has been panned by others. My problem with it was the glaring issue of the four fuckings. Much was made about how they came about and how Ashley felt they must be completed, but not one word about what great purpose they were intended to accomplish. Dean made passionate arguments about how much he was against it but never once asked why Ashley and Emily thought, when they wrote it, they would solve anything.

Man.... loved it until the end. Ugh, what a wasted effort.

So, basically, it became a cuck story. He was weak and pathetic. All talk and no action. When his slut-to-be wife first mentioned she was going to fuck the other guy four times and he made his objections, he should have been firm then: you fuck him, even just once and we are over: Divorce time. All that pussyfooting around without laying down the hard and fast consequence, was just spineless crap. You fuck him and it's divorce time. Then the onus is on her.

But at that first time there should have been no further discussion. He should have told both his and AP's daughter he would be divorcing Ashley because of her infidality with the arsehole. He didn't cause he was a weak cuck. No self respect at all.

What a garbage "Highway to Heaven" ending! Did you get bored of writing the story and want to end it? You should have warned everyone so we could skip your story.

Great read until the wholly unresolved ending. Did you just give up and decided taking a dump was more important than a finish? Maybe in 10 more years you can have an ending worthy of this story.

It was a good story and the writing was good. The story could not have succeeded if Steve was anything different, but I still have a hard time accepting that a friend of 20 years, who had to have some brains, would have accepted the oath. Steve had to know the result and that ultimately Ashley would never be his. Four fucks just aren't worth it. That one plot hole bothers me, but, again, the story could not have otherwise been written.

you had a great story until the ending why have him die over a slut wife he needed to live divorce the whore and get revenge on his so called best friend and have a great relationship with his daughter and Steve's daughter

Lots of repeated conversations and was great until the ending.

Ending turned this story into a 1

I want to first point out that the story was VERY well written. Great narrative and revealing of Dean's emotions were perfect, drawing me in. The bad part was a series of plot gaps and altered state reasoning that was the premise for the entire story arc. You reveal Dean had no recollection of the blood oath requiring sharing of spouses four times. Steve's a lawyer and he's an engineer - they would have read the words regardless of whether they thought it was "real". You did try to work around that gap, but in my opinion, you failed. Let's not even go into how nonsensical the whole four times in four months made no sense at any level. You foreshadowed the bachelor party, but when he caught that "fifth" time, he never confronted her about that as part of the argument to not go that weekend? Bottomline: Deans actions in several spots made no sense. You did an outstanding job describing them and the "why", but in the end it was just an emotional mess that many readers just won't be able to relate to. Writing style was 5* but plot was 2-3*. 3* overall...

I have read and like all your stories. But the ending of this one....he dies? Really. I got 1/2 way through last page and said....hope he doesn't.....well never mind. This one is begging for alternate endings.......

Keep up the writing.

Ridiculous premise. The ending sucked Balls. Yet another story where the husband never confronts the paramour. And allows the wife unfeterred access to her cheating partner.

Was enjoying it for the first 4 fours pages. But the last page completely ruined the story for me. 3 stars.

Didn’t think anybody could top the last season of Game of Thrones for shittiest endings.

Cookingwithgas…..hold my man card and my mango flavoured craft beer.

Wow! This one's sure to get a LOT of comments. Shouldn't be any issues with the writing - it's well crafted, good dialog, etc. An interesting take on the "I'm not doing this to hurt you honey and will do anything I can to help you get over the hurt AFTER I'm done ripping your heart out" trope. Many readers will take issue with the ending. Basically, the asshole Steve gets everything he wants, and the MC doesn't care anymore because he's dead because there are no negative emotions in heaven.

I really enjoyed this story until I didn’t. The ending is so lame.

Dumb ending ruined a good GeorgeAnderson type of story. Truly pitiful ending.

~Spiny

The ending was just crap.

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2 **

The ending was so poor that I could only give 1*. The entire premise about the "oath" is beyond preposterous.

I think this was a very good piece of writing and I thoroughly enjoyed the exploration the inter-action of mental health with a physical debilities. The unreality came with Ash and Steve losing sight of this in their friend. But for goodness sake you anonymous critics- IT'S A STORY! A writer can employ his/her own devices without being pilloried. The ending was abrupt. I would have welcomed and intermission of dialogue between Ash and Steve at the point were it was obvious Dean was losing control of the car. Rich possibilities which might affirm or refute at least Ash's declared motives. Then, perhaps, they experience the knock on the door from the police and we experience their reaction and their truth. Back to Dean and Emily at that point.

A good story and I look forward to more of your work. Thank you. G

I liked it up to the point where the protagonist died. It's a great LW plot based on a common fear all men have in a committed relationship. I was looking forward to how he would deal with the situation. This really needs an alternate ending, perhaps with him waking up in the ER or alongside the read having imagined death. Otherwise, well done.

Usually not a fan of the supernatural element in this category, but it did allow for a unique ending. You tagged it as irreconcilable, but in a way, that’s actually wrong. All in all, not bad.

You are indeed a talented writer. Despite the plot being over the top and the wife being unrealistically stupid, you did a masterful job of pulling the emotions out and I was enjoying the story very much..... but then you pulled that idiotic ending ..... jeesh, ruined the whole she-bang.

If your goal is to provide a shock ending, spend some time studying irony writers ... heck, even watch some Hitchcock....

Advice: keep it real (within the bounds of fiction of course) and keep it relatable. This went from a 5 to a 2, sad to say.

Excellent, original, and thought provoking.

His "condition" was a waste of text.

Those "blood promises" were a confusing mix of childish tomfoolery and codifying wishful promises. Not a good writing technique.

All in all I really liked the story. I think you should have edited out what I cover her, but you really show a ton of original thought. The only other thing is length, this dragged at times.

For me, the ending was a bail-out and ruined what had been a great story.

Wow! Interesting ending. As for the naysayers, the ending is no more bizarre than the premise of the promise. It is after all fiction and for entertainment. I was entertained and in the case of this plot line, frustrated for Dean. But the ending gave him some peace and that is fine. Good read. Keep it going.

What a terrible ending A good story but no thought to the ending. Almost feel sick.

I've read your stories. This one is disappointing. It's like you got tired of writing and said fuck it I'll take the easy way on the ending.

I’ve read so many stories on Literotica, and I was really enjoying the the different plot and storyline of this one UNTIL the ending. Yes, it’s just a story and you’re the author, but I believe the characters deserved a better ending. It was kind of like driving down the road and then suddenly off the edge of a cliff. Emily, Ashley, Dean, and Steve deserved a longer road and a couple more pages. Thanks for writing! 3*……..but it could have been 5 very easily with a different ending.

This is a powerful story, even if not so realistic (I'm referring to the pledge, although the plot detail of the men not reading it carefully is an attempt to make it more realistic). But for me the ending is just a kind of copout.

The great Harddaysknight has often said that writing the beginning and middle of a Loving Wives story is the easy part--it's coming up with a satisfying ending that is the challenge (and the test of a good storyteller). I'm afraid that this ending illustrates the difficulty.

Thanks, ohio

Love it loved the ending thank you

yeah, he's a fucking cuck, so better off dead, anyway.

Amazing story, very well thought out and well written, as usual. Have to give it a 5, altho I don't like the ending (not many will). Was looking for the usual treatment given to delusional wives, but maybe that's my fault- reading too many LW stories. Why couldn't he have shown Ashley the divorce papers BEFORE that weekend; last chance to get thru to her? And the part about 'walking into the light, where everything's beautiful- pseudo heaven' is kind of funny. So many refuse to believe anything about God, because they're too intellectual to believe fairy tales; and yet they can believe anything else, as long as it lines up with their thinking.

While I did not like the story personally, I have to acknowledge the great writing and interwoven beauty of the story. My reasons for not liking the story are just personal.

You wrote a story that completely draws a picture of life with 4 friends that goes for years. The ability to create the images of friendship, love and happiness was beautiful.

The writing was done in a manner that produced a story that I don’t think anyone can deny is one of the best written stories on this site. Your ability to create the visual projections in someone’s mind boggles mine. All throughout the story I was able to see the 4 people with their children enjoying each other’s companionship with their interrelated lives.

The ending was written beautifully interweaving the past into the present along with the afterlife. Giving the 2 eternal friends the ability to help those left behind.

There are ground rules I set for myself for me to rate a story as an outstanding read ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐. I must enjoy the read and believe the writer did a great job in expressing their tale in an easy manner to consume. The stories that reached inside me and move my feelings and emotional state in a way that touches my core.

Your story earned the ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ I gave it.

Keep Writing

JH4Fun

Did not like the ending at all. He was just fucked over and the story used the afterlife to make things seem so peaceful. Cheezy way out with the ending.

This oath was a great idea. So, your wife catches you cheating, all you say is you were just starting the 4 fucks early.

After reading the comments (25 at the time), I had to add this. While I did not like the story, I never thought it would get this many haters based on the ratio of haters to good comments. I put my comments in the good side.

I can’t stop LMAO at how wrong I was in my feelings about the story compared to all the comments.

Me not liking a story does not mean I don’t appreciate the writer’s ability to tell their tale.

I must be totally warped in what I consider a good, excellent, or outstanding story and just don’t get stories or readers based on reviews/comments.😂😂😂

Yes I gave the story ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Good writing, but can't help feeling that it deserved a better plot.

I liked it until th supernatural ending. I would have liked to see what would have happened in real time.

anon.1

The story was too long. He should have drawn up the divorce papers and served her as soon as he knew they were serious about going through with the oath.

The terrible ending takes the well written story down from 5⭐ to just 4⭐.

Of course this was well written. The premise is just goofy beyond belief. No fucking way she leaves the first time to see Steve and comes home still married. Sure I can understand her feeling some silly debt to her friend, but that definitely DOES NOT trump her vows to her husband! Dean just needed to make it completely clear as to her choices. Keep the quasi pledge they signed, or keep her marriage. Period, end of discussion. Not other options, it’s A or B, that simple.

The situation was weird, but the ending was (for me) way past weird. I’ve enjoyed your other stories, but this one left me cold. Sorry.

Good story, even though his wife got bitten by the stupid snake. Didn't see that ending coming at all.

I read this whole story. It's truly a slap in the face of love, friendship, grief, and death. Until the end I thought this was a derogatory sudden slut insanity story that will end with everyone miserable. Having read the ending its so much worse. It looks at love and friendship and spits on them. In fact it's so much sadder because no one here loves the main character. If Emily can influence people in their sleep and also knows everyone's true feelings she must have been pushing them to fuck at the expense of the mc knowing he'd never allow it. She wanted the man she really loved happy and fuck this other guys feelings. He should be so furious he haunts them forever but luckily you can't feel angry in hell. A loving person wouldn't hurt someone else like this ever even if they knew they could get away with it. My favorites have many Loving Wives stories because three adults can have fun without breaking hearts. But this? This supposes to the audience that they can love you so much and still do this to you. I feel pity if this is the authors true belief.

Anyone out there thinking this is what love is, doing what you want or 'promised' over doing what is right, please know that this isn't representative of love. If you are on the receiving side of such torment know that you deserve better and it is out there if you have the courage to go look.

Also please put this in novellas or non-erotic. Nothing sexual happened "on screen"

In fact this is straight up horny repellant.

Not all endings are happy, get over yourselves. This story captured my attention hard, it was well written and heartfelt. That being said hearts can be ugly, and so was this story. 5 stars.

Really great writing, and I really hated liking it so much. (felt bad for the survivors even though they were the cause of their own greif) but at least the protagonist found peace.

I cannot believe this ending. Horrible. So sad. The man dies and now his wife and ex-best friend have a clear path forward. Yes, the wife seemed to actually love him but the best friend will likely use her vulnerability to win her. Completely unjust ending. Yes life is not always fair but why can't a fictional story be?

There is no problem with the last half of the story. No problem with the time sequences. (After he's dead, time does not apply as Emily explained to him.)

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His reaction to Steve is fine -- Steve is dead to him, and to her after the weekend. He expects them to stay in contact (even eventually marry) after the ultimatum/divorce. He expects she will not come back to him.

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He has put up with Ashley's craziness by humoring her, which explains his toleration before/up to the final weekend. When she leaves, it's over, except that he'll still "humor" her with one last visit before he's gone.

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There's still a 1% chance she'll do a 180, so he allows for it by stopping back in on his way to wherever life after Ashley will take him. That's Love beyond where most men would go.

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Now the twist: his plans are halted by his death.

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Ashley was crazy before, during, and after. Tapeing together the page, but not writing the list of broken promises shows her continued delusion even after the last weekend while he's coming back from the fishing trip.

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I do say that the last half, read carefully, is about a great as it can be. Thank you CWG!

Awful ending. So, Asshole Steve will get Ashley and Dean and Emily will be forgotten. Steve does not deserve this ending. Ashley deserves to be miserable. Maybe that will repel Steve after a while, and he will move on and marry someone else who is a horrible cheater.

CWG is, without question, one of the better recent contributors to these fora. And this effort is another example of his technical writing skills. But the plot! One of LW’s all time ridiculous premises…which was capped off by one of LW’s all time unsatisfying endings 😱

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The premise was some sort of 4-way hall pass agreements…or something. Confusing in both its meaning AND in who did or did not really think it was serious. Obviously the MC Dean did not…although the explanation for why he originally went with it was obscure. But Dean did make it crystal clear when Ashley and Steve wanted to invoke this hyper idiotic 4-time Hall Pass that he, Dean, objected in about as strenuous a manner possible.

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But Ashley was in lala land, and good ole Steve was insistent…because he wanted to tap Ashley again…and again…and again. Steve, in fact, was a huge asshole for insisting on going thru with this…and for obvious reasons. It didn’t matter what Dean said…Ashley was nuts…and Steve was horny.

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So as insane as this plot was up to this point….the author takes a hard left into the Twilight Zone with that ending. He kills off Dean..and even then never gives readers any sense of “Justice” being done. The Emily spirit seems to be OK with the behavior….and ole Dean just goes with the flow. Just awful.

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Toughest story to score in a while. If scores are mostly to reflect writing competence, 5his is a strong 4/weak 5. But if scores are about the actual STORY….this incoherent mess is between a 1 and a 2. So…..

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3 ***

She should have be served with Devorice papers when she tried to walked back in after their first meeting alongwith a TRO . Put her stuff out in the yard so she could keep on staying with Steve.

Crap

Quit reading

Love then three then four and then the couple but now Steve.

Shit

Do need a little more. What did Ashley wind up doing?

Well written but felt like it was too quick at end…..too trite the whole heaven thing and kind of a cop out. Would have preferred seeing resolution one way or another.

Good story. Maybe a follow up regarding the wife and friend?

If they wanted Steve to have sex, why did they not hire someone? This whole story, while well written, was just dumb. Steve turned out to be a scum bad and Ashley was a self centered bitch.