All Comments on 'Four Times'

Page 4,

Just dump her already like you should have done before you married.

Page 5,

Fuck you.

I liked it, unlike the vast majority of the snivelling comments below which aren’t worth inconvenience they have caused to innocent electrons and adult brain cells.

4*

Unusual, but good. It’s a tough reading, there’s pain from beginning to end.

I agree that page 5 is total fucking trash. 4 pages of a great story with emotion and angst and then just drivel for a conclusion. I want the last 30 mins of my life back.

An interesting take on "honey, we have to talk".

First off let me say that I enjoyed the story… not that I necessarily liked it. It was a very tough read and a very sad story.

I think Ashley was very sincere in her beliefs even as misguided as she was. I also think that she was being twisted by Steve and using here grief to do so. Dean is a class ass. Dean first needed to put his foot down and move out so that Ashley understood consequences exactly. Dean needed to be more clear because he knew that Ashley was sincere but very misguided. Also, Dean needed to be more understanding in the end because Ashley truly believed that she was doing what was right…and being egged on by the total ass Steve.

Dean should have laid into Steve earlier. He caught on immediately and let the ass hang around. He needed to work harder to open Ashley’s eyes to that.

While the ending was sad it was true to the story and realistic. What would have been better would be to see more of what Steve and Ashley went through with the guilt. Oops… that would be Ashley. Steve as the ass he was wouldn’t have had guilt and Ashley would have recognized that quickly. This is the ending that we should have had.

Ashley is a very sympathetic character and one that is easily liked in my opinion because she is so honest but confused. It is unfortunate that she couldn’t get her head screwed on straight before she fucked up so badly. Any real man who truly loved her could have forgiven her in the right circumstances.

Great premise, well written, consistent characters and it all flows well... Then it ends like THAT? Sure, let me just take the main character I've made you invest all this emotional energy into, and fucking kill him! Yaaaaay, great story!

The first 4 pages deserve 5 stars, but the main character deserved far better than a bridge falling on him. More importantly, those two people don't deserve to be together, even in grief... The bad guys win.

Love loses.

I award you no stars, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Firstly, the story unfolds slowly and becomes tedious. Finally we get to the meat of the story which is an asinine agreement signed by the four MCs. We then proceed thru pages of redundant encounters between the remaining three MCs going over the same issues again and again. Finally, after Ash and Steve do the deed twice, our main MC, Dean, leaves home leaving but still wondering whether his marriage can be salvaged?!! Talk about indecisive. This character Dean must be constipated all the time because clearly he doesn't know when to sh-t or get off the pot.

Then he dies and the last several paragraphs are some form of ethereal mind meld with the dead fourth MC.

The reader is left with the impression that the author finally got tired of writing the same scene between Dean and Ashley over and over, gave up and ended the story with a silly non-ending.

The first part of the story was great bit I feel the author took the easy way out. He killed the husband.

I just read the author's comment on the next chapter and I disagree. The husband died aeaningless death. A death that could have happened at any time, unrelated to the story. If he had decided to get revenge by dyin6i would have accepted it.

It is a very sad story, But I enjoyed it a lot.

Good Work,

Fucking pointless and meaningless death. He didn't even have the fucking balls to end things with them, and now I can already see the fucking writing on the wall that he's gonna forgive the pieces of filth, even when his slut of a wife deserves every guilty thought her conscience tortures her with.

Honestly, killing the husband off sucked, because it means the writer doesn't actually have to put any thought into how to resolve it all. Lazy ass writing.

Much Better would have been, when Dean came home from work to get Double teamed by Steve and wife. Dean goes into his bedroom and retrieves his .45 acp Colt. Come back out and points it in Steve's face and says "You are NO Longer a friend of mine. If I ever see you again I will shoot your ass. If I ever see or hear about you talking to Ashley again I will dig a grave for both of you. Now get the Fuck out of my House. NOW!" After Steve pisses his pants and leaves, Dean says to Ashley, "Dear, I am going to get divorce papers drawn up because it is obvious to me that you prefer to be with Steve. So I recommend you stay away from him before I get you served unless you want to both die." That would have been one way to deal with the Cheating Assholes. Getting a new shovel should be the first thing tho. 5 stars for the writer. Very powerful Story. Thanks

ONE STAR- the most stupid ending ever.

Not baaad... except the... "end." Sorta a cop-out for a, "this dimension" ending.

I have to agree with sentiment put forth that the end was something of a cop-out. Although I also have a sense that this particular end was the idea that spawned the rest of the story. Unfortunately, the story was compelling enough to want legitimate resolution, either through divorce, epiphany and/or reconciliation. It’s clear from what you did write that she was really torn up about what she had done to him, and desperately wanted to somehow fix it. It would have been nice to see some of that play out.

Still, overall a really good tale.

BTW, I think you pretty much nailed heaven with your brief description of the conditions and rules. Nice.

Beta male problems.

WOW ! too wordy, thoughtful for me but very good, interesting. Main point is the "Pledge" of 25 years ago is so strong neither Steve nor Ashley could see it as a silly young person's pledge and 1 that didn't need to be fulfilled. Steve could find his own GF to do the 4 times. Good writing but rather "off the wall" concept.

Was going alright until that ridiculous ending. So now he will help "heal" them for betraying him? What nonsense.

In the preface to the sequel, you felt like you'd dropped enough hints early to set up the ending. From a reader's perspective, here's something to consider. The reveal of what happened the night of the bachelor party, never got followed up on. If a reader sees one seemingly significant detail with no payoff, it should be expected that other details won't be considered either.

You set up an interesting story, with a cruel, stupid wife and an evil, cheating best friend; then you wimped out of writing an ending and scribbled out one of the worst endings ever. What a waste

1- to much waffling by the MC, 2- sometimes you have to beat down(ie punch, forehead or center chest good spots not likely to kill) if a bitch slap wont do, to start some kind of rational thinking in a bitch's brain, especially if the bitch is thinking of how to persuade or manipulate or blackmail you into allowing said bitch to make you a bitch. In that sitdown w/ bitch and "friend", where "friend" said you cant talk to her that way, i would tell them theyre ignoring me and rationalizing their betrayal so i would give them reason to justify their betrayal; i would punch the bitch in the chest and then when "friend " went to see to her, i would kick him the the balls., then depart and not go back. The girls were typical fucking fairy hippies and the "friend" thinks this pussy that he hasnt had for 20+yrs has become magical and he wants some and cuckolding his friend will relegate him to beta status forever in his and the wifes eyes, how that helps the "friend" is beyond me. rk

Ending is pathetic.

While I think the storyline developed well, I didn’t like the ending. However, I have to say that your writing style is excellent. Thanks for. an approach that was new and relatively fresh.

Some of you will not like my comment, but so be it. Ashley was right about men's egos, and that was the real crux of the matter. The author set the husband up as a weak man who couldn't handle things well and so the story had to end like this.

He kept reading things into the situation, showing a lot of paranoia, alleging that this was all planned out against him.

Not one of the author's better stories

WTF. A good story development but a totally pathetic attempt at an ending -5 stars. Geez and the MC what a fucking wimp. Server her with divorce papers, and a separation before the first time. And beat the crap out of Steve. With a baseball bat. Between the legs. Best friend… hardy.

The whole bull shit about “men’s fragile egos” in these stories is just crap. Nobody, husband or wife wants to be cheated on. In order to be in a relationship requires trust. And sex with someone else destroys that trust, unless it’s mutually agreed to.

Good God that was a stupid ending!

Good story. Some things are science fiction. And the ending is terribly bad.

Whats a scrappy wife amd friend. Both piwces of trash. The mc should have qalkes the minute she suggested amd definitely should have walked when they both were at his house. The story qas well qritrwm about a decent person amd 2 pieces of crap

I liked it and that is a happy ending! Steve is a common predator, but he will make his own future and pay in his own way. The wife isn't worth crying over.

He never once said, “if you do this I will divorce you”.

I think the MC should simply have said "If you go to Steve, I will kill him the next day, and you Ashley will be the only Musketeer standing as I will be in prison - the choice is entirely yours!"

Well, it was 5 stars until the last few paragraphs. I really dislike deus ex machina type endings and this reeks of it. IMO

LEAVES SO MANY PROBLEMS UNASNSWERED (jaybee186)

"I never stopped to consider that I put two men, friends or not, into some sort of competition. Women don't think that way." BULLLLLSHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is extremely well written. Insightful (for the most part). If it wasn't well written, I could never say that I think I would have stayed through the fourth time just to see if I was right.

What a cop out. The basic premise was stupid, but hey that’s the story. The obvious thing would be, fuck him once here’s the papers. Could have still been ok, but the finale was just stupid.

Dean is a wimp idiot. 2/5

Well done.

"wearing a stunning woman's on my shirt and pants." - "A stunning woman's ???" Drink?

Anonymous shouldn't be recognized. If you hide in the shadows, stay there. Good story, well written.

Stupid Dean. Before the first time, he serves Ashley with divorce papers and Steve with a restraining order to stay away from him and their house. If she goes thru with it with Steve he kicks her out and gets a restraining order on her too.

when he realized that the evil cunt hed married was determined to crush him, he shld have slapped her so hard she did a 360 before falling to the ground. Then after he leaves her, she can claim she cheated on him because he was an abuser and not cuz she was an evil delusional selfish twat. rk

I know it's hard in real life when you love someone so fully and they betray you, but imho Dean should have divorced Ashley the minute she started fighting so hard to fuck another man. Maybe I can see him trying until she left to do it but he should have immediately ended the marriage there.

Although maybe his love for her was so great that her betrayal just fucked him up and he couldn't think clearly. He was confused as to how he should proceed because he never envisioned a scenario like this.

Dean wsllowed in his suffering. He took no direct action to put an end to anything. All he had to do was present divorce papers to his wife before the first time and be unequivocal on the stakes. She stays, counseling to see if the martiage can be saved. She goes, the papers will be filed and her stuff will be in a storage unit paid up for 30 days.

Frankly a bit insulted bu the deus ex machina ending.

Unique ending and not to my liking. Why kill off Dean?

This story should be called… “how to damage a story with a terrible, bad ending”

4*

Great job drawing out an imminent train wreck for 4 pages. I enjoyed this story until the end.

I'm not a BTB or RAAC guy but Dean needed some closure, as did I.

-1* for the ending.

Well, what a story. I really wonder at the concept that spawned it. For a gifted writer to have no idea how to make a story worth reading, I can't understand. Oh well, it is your story, so you are free to make it unenjoyable.

⭐⭐

Really!!!???

Dean suicides, and gets the vision as his brain shuts down, he gets a ghost, meanwhile Steve wins and gets it all, the money, the house and the girl.

What a ridiculous ending. If vibes could be sent by the dead to the living why didn’t Em sent vibes to Ash and Steve telling them to back off on each other.

A really disappointing end to what was building to be a good story.

The author dropped the ball here big time and ruined his own story

2/5

The trouble with this and the many others like it, is there’s just lots of talk and nothing being said, lots of logical arguments and the same amount of emotional one too, but the whole thing could have been cleared up with a simple ‘if you do this I will divorce you’.

At least then she would know the consequences if she continued.

Worst story of all time. Worse than a cuckold. Sorry I actually finished it.

I'm going to read the sequel before commenting. BardnotBard

So I just started the sequel and read the authors foreword that this was written as "his suicide was the ultimate revenge as Steve and Ashley would be remorseful and regretful over what they did" I can't begin to describe how angry I'm feeling right now after that patronising statement. Firstly he wasn't thinking those thoughts at least there was nothing written by the author so why say suicide? Why not just say his death in the car accident? Secondly and I'm coming from a place of experience of talking with people who have tried and failed or tried and been talked out of it or talking with families who have had a loved one suicide and left a note. I've never ever had anyone say that they tried or did it to punish others it just isn't a reason. Sorry but you badly really badly got this wrong. I'm wondering if this comment will actually appear. BardnotBard

With apologies I totally misread the foreword you never mentioned suicide. Please ignore my previous rant. It was unjustified and unwarranted. BardnotBard

Well. that's resolution, in a sense. With finality. No offense, but it sort of seems the easy way out of all the questions.

He died?

Good story, completely ruined by a bad ending!

Well, I see the author got smart and realized not everyone goes to heaven.

5* for everything here but the ending. Evidence for death is called a "corpse".

Did he die ?

był idiota i zmarł jak idiota