All Comments on 'Four's The Charm'

Seems to be incomplete!

Looks complete to me.

Not incomplete, just unfinished

Excellent in drawing the read in.

Best story I've read so far for the contest. Nice blend of eroticism with a touch of horror. Solid ending, exactly the kind of open-endedness that works well for a short story. I have to say though, reading this makes me realize just how loose the criteria are for this "Halloween" contest ;) Thanks for a solid contribution.

Your never fail to amaze me

I liked this story overall, but I had mixed feelings about the ending. Since the story involved gods, I could've accepted the deus ex machina. However, the entire story focused on the MCs lack of agency. He was frozen by magic for much of the narrative. Then he is presented with a false choice at the end, and the MCs role in that false choice is emphasized. From a story telling standpoint that made me scratch my head a little, because Tayne didn't make a single choice that mattered in the entire story. All of them were either made under false pretenses, or involved a "Hobson's choice." Since he could either accept the goddess's offer or presumably die, that wasn't much of a true choice.

In any case, I'm not saying that the author did anything wrong, only relaying my subjective experience as a reader. In most cases a short story is driven by an important character decision, which brings the story to a good or bad resolution. In this case the MC felt completely passive to me. If that is what the author was going for, I respect that. Passive victims are fairly common in horror. But then the emphasis on choice throws me off at the end.

If I ignore that quibble and treat it as PWP, it was sexy.

Pureotica,

Interesting comment and thank you for it. Indeed, the MC was pretty much a victim throughout. That was more-or-less my thought while writing it. And yes, the choices facing him were pretty thin. Thanks again.

Another crap ending leaving the rest of the story untold. either finish the story, add a sequel or chapter or quit writing.