All Comments on 'Frat Party - Consequences REAL'

This story is so bad that you should be in jail for even attempting to write something that is this pathetically stupid.

"Psychological I was diagnosed with a light form of shopping addiction." This disease has swept through the XY-chromosome population like Ebola on a rocket sled!

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Good story that raised a lot of interesting questions and involved some well-written nuance. Have a native English-speaker look over your stories and tweak the wording (e.g. 'the fraternity of Mark,' etc.).

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4/5!!! You have good ideas, organized story-telling and pretty good writing. Keep writing, and you'll only get better!

There was no people in your story - only caricatures. You also went so far out in all directions that your story lost consistency... Sorry...

I don't know what's more cringe, the over the top cuckold/BTB stories or these ones who don't really take into account how the modern women are behaving in 2020-2021.

Really only 1 year of hall passes and she has to get a job... pathetic

Some points are weak and difficult to digest: 1 - The daughter being so stupid how could she advance in College? Better get a job for her,,,2 - "The college closed this frat-house, and the members will face hard times and their future careers"...What careers? Accused with rape and illicit filming the rapes, drug possession and distribution, they will be in prison a lot of years, the only career possible to be "prison bitches", just like Bill...Will Bob be one of them? 3 - Being a cheap whore because of a hormonal problem is old news...So after all this just 2*

I like the story. I did not enjoy the multitude of writing mistakes that took place after the wife's confession, therefore a 4 star rating.

Entertaining but in some places hard to read. I get the premise but a bit more reality would help your stories in the future. After all she did, including the daughter, the reconciliation was too quick. If he was to keep her as he stated they would be roommates at best for a year. If you go that route you could have written more about her emotion knowing he was out dating yet she had to remain celibate. You didn't have the wife and daughter have to get jobs right away and write of their struggle to get money for what they needed including her education cost. You also didn't have him realize that she really could divorce him and he would be back to what he feared if he initiated the divorce - the financial loss. Write about her thoughts of was she willing to wait and write about him also wondering if and when he would return to sex and keeping her or moving on. You had them have sex within months and all better at the end of the year. It would take many years to become whole again based on what she did.

Another of the lovable cuckold stories. Who said they have to get a divorce, if she wants the house. Then pay for it. He would lose it in the divorce. Fuck them, let them pay there own way.

"Even if you move on without me to be happy with someone else you have to forgive me for your own happiness."

Contrary to popular belief, forgiveness of a person who betrayed you, disrespected you and otherwise treated you horribly is NOT a requirement to move in life and have happiness. Forgiveness implies that you are somehow now OK with what they did to you. Stuff like what the wife pulled over the years you should never be OK with. There's lots of ways to unburden yourself of the pain and anguish people caused you but forgiveness does not need to be one of those ways. You cut toxic people like this wife out of your life, leave them in your rear-view mirror and you move on in life and find those people and things that will bring happiness into your life. Staying with the shitty people you have a past with is not a way to do that.

Derp derp derp

Bullshit story.

I'm not going to beat this horse... yes i am. EDITOR is needed here badly. Aside from spelling errors and tense changes, your grammar and punctuation sucks.

3. Hubby got some good revenge, liked that he had his own hall pass to make up for her cheating, but I just didn't see a reconciliation happening even with crap divorce laws. The level of long term disrespect the wife showed was unforgivable even if she started to change. Some of the dialogue felt a little off, very stilted. However I certainly enjoyed this far more then the originals which were unrepentant aimless smut with no ending, consequences or resolution that I found, I just think it needs a bit more work to feel right. The biggest failing with this story was building it off of a a story that frankly was not too good and certainly didn't have a reconciliation ending seem right. I think you got the makings of a pretty good author who may not have been able to make gold out of shit but you atleast made bronze, I think a original story (even one inspired by others) that will do a reconciliation story justice and maybe an editor to go over the dialogue would do great.

Great fantasy for selfish cunts. I don’t mind reconciliation stories when it’s plausible but this is just stupid. It really sounds like the author is a middle age woman who found the mom and daughters actions disgusting but then kept thinking about it over several days and found that her pussy took over and wanted a way to have a happy ending.

Toro caca!

So to recap

She cheats for over half their marriage ten of the 18 years her daughter was alive

she spends their life saving on her fuck buddies

she told her daughter about her lack of sex life to justify her cheating before the daughter even got her tits in

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and for this her punishment is to be threatened that her husband will for one year have sex with other women - despite the fact that he doesnt have the energy as he still works just as hard so he can still pay for all their shit?

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Why is it cuck authors of cuck stories refuse to use the cuck tag

Terrible English. Awful grammar, spelling and vocabulary. You should stick to writing in your native language. But then, the story was for shit too. God awful plot, stupid cuck and whore tripe. So, maybe just stop writing altogether.

Pretty well written and you forewarned about liking reconciliation stories. I've commented on several stories in LW about keeping it "real" when considering RAAC vs BTB. I cases where there is minor children and both parents recommit, I support RAAC. In your story, the only child is in college and what she did to her husband did not warrant reconciliation. I'm not saying he should have burned her, but no way a successful business man makes a deal like you did here. 3*

A RAAC for a selfish wife who still got away with it. Divorce was the only answer, But you Yank simps always go the Cuck route. The is definitely something wrong with you lot.

I’m happy to say we are made of tougher stuff in Australia. You fuck around, you get canned.

As simple as that.

3/5 for the attempt to be tough.

I almost didn't read this when I saw that this would be a RAAC. I agreed with others that said that there was no way this could be forgivin and his further informatiinal recounts in this chapter made it even less likely. That being said, the way you wrote it made it conceivable, especially with his year long hall pass and her complete remorse. I would argue that she had a few more issues than a shopping problem but all in all it might work out.

Far more importantly, the daughter had to learn that what went on in the past is not a healthy marriage or relationship. She was already fucked up enough to think that it was OK to share her boyfriend with her mom to cuckold her dad. She needs some counseling as well or her future relationships don't have a chance. My one big criticism is that the reference of her possibly fucking her dad was totally unnecessary.

Good effort. You do need to find a good editor but since I can barely order a beer in another language I give you kudos for your bravery in writing a story in ours. I must add that your English is much better than many English speakers that post here. At least you understand tenses.

Not a bad story but I can't see the reconciliation. The wife cheated and disrespected the husband for way too long. As others noted you need a good editor to polish your stories.

OK, sure, why not? Obviously the husband has no better option, and does not anticipate getting a better option. I don't understand why he wants to continue to feed himself with rotten meat since there are plenty of truly good women available for a truly good man, but that's his choice. When she fucks around on him again in the future he will deserve it. What is just as alarming is the behavior of the daughter. She enabled and approved of her mother betraying her father, that's how she was raised? OK, sure, whatever. Ridiculous.

I suggest you try writing in your native language from now on. That would allow you to express yourself more clearly. Anyway, thanks for the effort.

Poor story written poorly. No awareness of English. Less awareness of real dialogue.

This portion of the story was okay, although as has been noted, some editing for grammar would help. I am fine with either happy or BTB endings, but they have to make sense. The author went to great lengths to make the wife seem to be a completely self-centered bitch in every way, and while the story notes the the wife's one good point is never bad-mouthing the husband to her lovers, she apparently bad-mouthed him to their daughter to the point of affecting his relationship w/ the kid. If the author wants us to be okay w/ reconciliation, you have to give us something more to like about the person that screws up, and this wife was just awful. Also, hormonal problems does not fly for me as an excuse for cheating, even when combined with... a high libido and little time with husband. That is a really weak excuse for cheating. If you are looking for genuine, forgivable reasons for cheating, I can say that I did have compassion for my ex-wife's cheating as being serially molested as a child starting in Kindergarten will fuck w/ your boundaries. Knowing what happened to her didn't fix our marriage, but at least I get why she was screwed up. So, please try and come up better reasons for your characters' actions.

Weak punishment from a pathetic cuckold,

the consequences should have been much worse, starting with a postnuptial separation of all finances and the selling of the mega house, all of her bags, shoes, dresses, and lingerie she wore for fuck partners with him getting all of the money. Also, wife paying him back in full for all of the gifts she bought for Mark and the others. The daughter should have been completely cut off financially, including college tuition, for a few years as punishment.

Ah yes, the good old you cheated on me so I'm allowed to do it also rationale. Seems that no one in this story really has any morals, just a bunch of self-centered individuals.

I always like a RAAC, so you get a lot of points for the effort you made making the horrible original story into a RAAC. My only gripe is the daughter got away unscathed. She was just as disgusting, encouraging the cheating wife.

This was legitimately awful. He had no reason to believe that his wife would do anything to improve herself and her punishment was to spend less money and have no sex. She did not have a single redeeming quality and even caused the destruction of his daughters respect for him which is just unforgivable. I simply cannot imagine a world where a husband finds all this out about his wife and does not flush her and their marriage down the toilet like the piece of shit she was.

What normal average every day kind of guy would ever want to stick their dick in their wife again knowing she willingly participated in gangbangs? His daughter and wife conspired for her boyfriend to fuck her own mother, WTF?

Hell even a section where the wife made 10k and he shows he's saved it just to rub it in her face that he is using her money to take his lover to Paris where she always dreamed of going would help. This is just so passive it's blah

I would be more than happy to be your editor

.No disrespect but you do need to have one.

Ending was too wishy washy..needed mote btb.

NOt the best story on cheating wives but typical rationalizations. The guy wasn't dumb after looking at what the aftermath would be if he got a divorce he was just being practical. They also say time heals all wounds, well yes and no depends on how your mind works. It was and ok story. The drugs and porn setups were pretty good and all the participants got some pretty good punishment and lessons in morality.

I know BTB what does RAAC stand for??

@dgfergie

What does RAAC stand for?

Reconciliation At All Costs

Which in the context of LW usually means the one cheated upon pays the costs.

If this were the case in criminal court, victim compensation would have the victim paying the criminal for their inconvenience of going through the courts.

You wrote a pretty good story overall, as far as writing goes. I would choose different reactions for your characters, but that is merely personal preference. Most of the negative comments fall under that category and thus not important in evaluating your story.

I realize that proofreading one's own story is as fun as scrubbing toilets. But just like toilets, stories need to be cleaned up. I encourage you to read through your first draft, fixing all the errors you notice and identify portions that could be written better. Then do it twice more. I am not trying to be mean, but the lack of proofreading is evident and is distracting.

Thank you for posting your story. I look forward to reading your next one.

If you have a hot woman doesn't it make sense to save your marriage if you can! Well done.

I never understand a woman happy to stay in a marriage where the only reason her husband is with her is because he would lose out financially in a divorce I mean wtf I thought a marriage was at first about love an on top of that he’s been getting his own back for a year there’s no love there that’s obvious

This is a reconciliation at all costs story to the extreme. Should of been a BTB of both the slut wife and daughter. Didn't like this at all.

Really nice story, well presented, could use some proof reading though. Not my favorite sort of story but I see the talent behind it. Thanks for a nice read. Please keep writing.

Thanks for introduction. I think every writer should be doing that. Once you said you are writing cuck shit I know I won't read so that was nice of you.

You'll get 1 star anyway but that is just because I do not like cuck shit.

Not in the least bit credible, or for that matter not all that interesting.

An oatmeal story.

Bland, no emotions, and stupid.

This isn’t a reconciliation just a “wondered away & back” mess.

I think 2 stars is too much.

Bill

"And I knew I still respected my heart husband for everything he did for us." ?????? Where did 'heart' come from? I hate to read stories written by people from India, unless there has been help from others in the editing. The way words are used in 'sentences' and the Main Character's train of thought does not have a smooth flow. You need to have a good editor read and make necessary changes, before submitting. Sorry, 2* for a 5 star story.

Okay, we all know the writer's first language was not English. That being said it needs editing. The story isn't as bad as some who were native speakers and did not get their story edited. As a language English is difficult to write and speak, but I will give the author 3*s for trying and another 1*

for it not being a pathetic "cuck" story. Were I the husband, the daughter would have been getting a job or loans to finish school. I am not sure the wife would have gotten off so easily either.

disturbing. violence and criminal behavior masquerading as eroticism. the violent revenge seems to be more the point than sexual pleasure/connection.

You be stupider if you read this! lol

I'd say he's nuts, but saved getting porked in a divorce. If they aren't too old, his wife should proudly have another baby... HER HUSBAND'S BABY

Enjoyed the story and have to say well done, writing a story intelligibly in someone else's language is not easy but you managed it. 5*

He’s a cuck, he kept her. He didn’t have the guts to ditch her and the cunt daughter.

He obviously from the storyline could replace her and was rich enough to do.

I ask you what man would have her back?

One has to suspend all credulity to make this poor excuse of a story work

1/5

Chuck, b*t*h should've been booted

Hall pass permanent.

She wasn't sorry for anything other than he got caught and had to give up her boyfriend and other activities at the college. That plus the loss of all the money. He was right in not divorced her but he did let her off easily. It's daughter got off easily but then her mother lied.

Jesus please don’t write another story ever again. I’m not the pickiest about grammar but holy FUCK this hurt to read.

I don't care if an author chooses the BtB or reconciliation path or some other direction. However they choose to make a story can work. But for it to work, there needs to be some connection to reality. There is very little connection to any of the characters and the path to reconciliation is so abrupt it is difficult to accept. A lot more work was needed there to make that plausible.

I'm ok with reconciliation, but i dont like reconciliation after this kind of cheating

but, i like the way author rationalize it, 4 star

Just another load of bollocks

Spends the year getting finniacially ready tells his daughter this is the lesson of what happens when you fuck around. Tells her no more hall passes ad he has another child on the waybwith a different woman a son this time that hopefully isn't a fuck up like his daughter.

How many ways can you change your mind or make a U-turn in a 1 paragraph introduction? You may have set a new LIT record!!!

He's a a pathetic fucking wanker,a want to be cuckold and wants his brain testing from having the bitch before afternoon what she did all in all a complete load of shit

Writing was horrible. Storyline was ok.

That last line says that she'll cheat the first time she has a chance. Normally I'm for redemption and reconciliation but this whore is a bad bet and she fuck him over for sure.

I appreciate what you tried to do but can't buy it for a couple of reasons. Both the mom and daughter were completely different from the original story. The original author is too much of a pussy to allow feedback, but given the chance my comments would have attacked the daughter more than the mom. How could a daughter hurt her dad by helping her mom have sex with college boys? She was the more evil one and should have been completely cut off for a long, long time, perhaps for good. Secondly, the original mom talked about the amazing sexual experiences she was having. She would never be so contrite when caught. She'd have blamed her husband and probably tried to take him to the cleaners in the divorce. So, again, I applaud your effort, but it was just too much of a stretch for me. Also, ignore the idiots who didn't bother to find out English is your second language.

Well just dumb.

This could have been a great story. You need to pull it and have editors clean it up and beta editors advise you on how to re-word it to greater effect.

Should have just dumped the bitch I did it's worth losing some money just to be rid of her. 4****

Too much happened off screen. She had a couple of teary conversations and that was it. The daughter had a weekend that was uncomfortable and that was it. If you want to show us a shred of contrition or justice, then SHOW us, don't just allude to something that happened during the time jump. It's lazy and unsatisfying.

You did a very good job of developing the emotions and motivations of your characters. You have great potential as a writer. Stick with it.

I think it was a great story. And for someone who doesn't use English as a first language, i believe you did a terrific job. I noticed a few comments here are pretentious and condescending. Well, those people have to live with themselves. I thoroughly enjoyed the full story beginning to end.

Thank you

Welcome, to the twilight zone, where skanks and eunuchs live happily ever-after.

Pretty good story! It's clear that Am. English is not your first language, but I only stumbled bad once.

I'm glad he got some for himself , considering her evil greed, and a lesson for his wife.

The grammar was infinitely terrible. I'm to understand English isn't your first language, but you didn't start learning the day before writing this either. Too many behind the scenes activities happening. How was he able to frame anyone but Billy? Everyone else lives 150 miles away. No follow-up with the mom and daughter. They were there, were berated, and then the results of everything they went through after the fact. The mom and daughter were too different from the original. No remorse before, but now Dad is all the business. Not sure how it is where you're from, but in most of the free world where frats exist, if there was a gangrape they'd be in jail, not "having hard times," and future careers would be non-existent. You have a decent plot, you just need to draw it out a bit more with pertinent information, learn the language better, and get an editor or two.

Better than the original. At least the we're some consequences. Mixed feelings on the reconciliation with the wife though. Jesus, fucking her daughters boyfriend? What a skank. And the daughter was ok with it so her too.

But well written considering it's not your primary language.