All Comments on 'Freckles'

It's like you ran out of steam and decided to say "fuck it, I'll just cut it here and insert a two sentence epilogue to finish. No es bueno. It sucks because this was turning into an incredibly engrossing story, and I was really eager to see where the characters would go...then I was struck with a case of truly impressive blue balls. Ouch.

I did like the story and it's very well written and quite erotic but it didn't reach an expected finale. The siblings didn't have sex. Perhaps they will if there's another chapter.

Loved the story right up until the ending. I was waiting for the whole story to hear the brother and sister get it on. It never happened.

Dialogue was unrealistic and the ending was lame. Did you run out of ideas? Stories like this are one of the reasons so many readers on Lit get upset, people start something but then don't finish.

I seriously don't know what you thought you were doing when you ended the story like that. I mean from the outset it's high in sexual tension and a 'will they/won't they' vibe and then it peters out at the end, only to get it's proverbial dick slammed in the door with that last paragraph. I mean, it was all - sexual tension, innuendo, "promises, promises..." and then, absolutely nothing else happened and they both went their own way, the end.

Just leaving off the last couple of lines would have improved the story immensely, it wouldn't have made it 'great', because essentially it's just a sexually charged scenario and not a complete 'story' (in my opinion). But with those last couple of lines, it just leaves the reader with a bitter taste in their mouths.

Good Story until the last couple sentences. I feel like I got my dick slammed in the door.....

Aww ... man ... you should have posted it on April 1st.

You know, get the reader all revved up and then BAM ... end of story.

Then for the ending- a bucket of cold water.

You’ve written more enjoyable stories.

To many uh,groans,and whispers

Way.....too.....many

And I am not only talking about the ending that went nowhere. Max is supposed to be shy or inexperienced, okay, but in the story he's dense as fuck. It's almost as if he doesn't have instincts on his own and needs everything explained to him.

Really wish you would continue this. Maybe Christmas break. Or Spring break next semester or better yet next summer. C'mon. Please?

So, I was not able to read this to the end. It reads like an 8 year old's fantasy written with a high school vocabulary. Seriously, I only made it to the first paragraph of page two and shivered and groaned myself to fast forward to leave a comment. (Something I have never done.) I am tempted to go back and count the number of times each character shivers and groans. The premise of the story is commendable, the actions... meh, slightly believable in a childish way. But sadly for me, too difficult to read for the lack of imagination in how the characters shiver and groan through the plot. Kudos for stepping up and writing, something I have no talent for, but as a reader, you lost me. After looking at the other comments, I did read the last lines and I too would have been very disappointed in the ending, although I may understand what you wanted to come across with there. This comment is anonymous only because I have not become a Literotica user.

Your stories are usually so much better. You put a lot into the story and it could lead to a good series, but then you just give up on it at the ending. If you get writers block just stop and don't end it like this one. At least then you could come back and finish up or add to it. 5 stars on the story and -5 on the ending. Come on now!

Sick of anal in stories. Anal does ZERO for me, I'm not gay.

It needed serious editing for grammatical errors. It was just not well written, with some of the dialogue stilted.

Vocabulary -- learn some. Shivering isn't what you apparently think it is. If a woman is shivering that much, she needs to see a doctor. If a guy is groaning as much as he does, he's a buffoon. Find something to call her vagina other than "her sex". You did call it a pussy once. They sound like 9 year olds afraid to say pussy or cunt out loud.

It was like a car crash. I wanted to look away, but just couldn't. I skimmed, looking for 'groaned', 'shivered', and 'her sex'. I wish I could say I noticed paragraphs that were without any of those three words. There weren't many though, and that's what kept me staring at the car crash.

I don't give very many 1 star ratings. You should feel special.

I liked it... but wanted more to happen.

It was tantalizing to be sure but worth the read. Reminds me of my first girlfriend and the fumbling and fooling around and DEFINITELY the fun.

Love to read more of this story... Hint hint.

Temptation, and sweet denial, can be very satisfying. Well done!

Finally, a couple of people who understand that you don't have to fuck your sister for it to be erotic.

Clearly a 5 -- in spite of blue balls, too much shivering whispering, whimpering and groaning and of the two last lines.

Two young lustfull and horny siblings who knows that there's some limits they really ought not to pass, who still passes a few lower limits, but just barely manages (at least one of them) to keep their heads cool enough to maintain the most important limits.They anyhow share deep intimacy, experience lots of sexual arousal and release (would've presumed the brother would have jacked off once more, though) and have great fun. Part of the fun is their exploring talk, partly somewhat uncertain and confused, partly a shared toung-in-cheek kind of fun interaction.

A delightful deviation from the too many 'Hey Sis, let's fuck! Wham, bang.'-kind of stories here.

A central part of the story is that those important limits are maintained, and the author hammers this down in the last two lines, Still, couldn't that have been achieved without such a blunt text, though? I think this epilog could've better been left out.

This story made me curious as for your other stories.

With the 18+ rule people can't really understand how many years can a sibling affair go on without sex in real life! or how erotic things can be without sex during those years...

Groaned Groaned Groaned Groaned Groaned Groaned Groaned Groaned Groaned Groaned

Good Lord!!

Who would want to fuck an asshole when there is a pussy right there???

Glad I read the comments first. I'll pass.

Wonderful Hot Erotic story if what if. Janet and Max both wanted it but their morals stopped them. They were old enough and it could have gotten them closer or not. We will have to see in the next chapter. Thank You!

Too much of a tease. You are waiting for something to happen then nothing.

Super hot build up, but incredibly disappointing let down when nothing happens but teasing. I'm a little annoyed I wasted my time reading this, now.