All Comments on 'Freddy Fingers'

You dragged this out for 8 pages. Not that the writing wasn't good - it was. But their stupidity and lack of communication skills was flabbergasting. If they are each others best friend, you'd assume she'd run right to her husband. Instead she won't talk to him OR her children. That made no sense. I think her parents were a LOT more guilty than you made them out to be. And I think the lawsuits against all involved would have made them millionaires. But the bottom line is this simply wasn't an entertaining story. The subject matter was poorly handled and by page 2 I really didn't care what happened and wouldn't have finished the story had you not teased a RAAC and I wanted to see how you got there. Badly if I do say so.

2 stars for the effort.

parts of it were despicable. Not the writing but what was done to that family. I agree with hubby that Mom and Dad were enablers and that they didn't respect him enough to think he knew what was best for his wife and family. As far as the male nurse was concerned he should have had his head caved in, ditto the guys that held hubby while ass wipe assaulted him. So, thanks for writing and for sharing with us your story. I am also leery of anyone who can manipulate people in the guise of helping them. I have witnessed several inappropriate councilors and psychologists. Not a big fan of the discipline myself.

I'm a big fan, and you've done some really good writing already. But, for me, this is your best work ever. I enjoyed this one through out. I couldn't understand why she just disappeared and withdrew from her family , but you played that beautifully. The entire story played out logically. The introduction of Brad and his control over Patricia made perfect sense for the story. Something had to make her act that way. There was nothing over th top at all. We had two villains Brad and Carl who received logical jail time for their crimes. This was a reconciliation that needed to happen and you pulled it off perfectly. I can find no fault at all with your story, but this is LW and some will find fault with anything. This a great story and one that you can be proud of.

We must learn from this story, beautifully written,well described ,.......... like a real one, thump up, loved it

I think he'd have been better off just moving on from Patty. She was a shit wife and terrible mother.

I disagree with the husband about excessive flirting... it's totally inappropriate for a married person to behave that way with a single friend. She invited Carl to spend the evening with her drinking... a guy she was sexually attracted to. Patty was right about one thing: she put herself in a position to be drugged by a sleazy asshole.

It's also clear that Patty didn't really respect or trust her husband. When she thought she'd been drugged, she never said a word to him about it the following morning. She showed her lack of trust in the husband again when Carl started harassing her at the ice rink... if she'd run to her husband for protection, all of this mess could have been avoided!

Then she ran away from her family... for two months... and didn't say a word to any of them. What kind of shitty mother just abandons her children like that? There's no justification for any of her weird behaviour. You'd have to be a complete retard to believe some therapist who told you to stop seeing your kids!

The convergence of Brayden, Bob, and Brad on poor Patricia and Carl (and Ty and Reese). Talk about the killer Bs! What an intricate plot - quite a mess to disentangle. Entertaining, deftly executed story with sympathetic, well rendered characters who deserved a happy outcome. Very enjoyable. Thanks much.

Great writing , it held my interest throughout. Women who are assaulted usually are blamed by the lawyers and press . Men still have the power as women are still playing catch up. Our court system protects men over women.

It's easy to see how the apparent facts aren't the true facts and how a con can manipulate someone into believing what ever he wants, to his advantage. I really prefer long stories to those flash stories. One of the things that pisses me off about so many people writing comments is the nit picking about grammar, spelling and punctuation. I read a story for it's content and just overlook the other stuff. Thanks for your enjoyable story.

LB

It looks like a character from a JimBob44 story. One of the bad guys. Escaped and fell into your hands hotprof1973.

HA, HA, ha, ha... 😉.

Good story. Just enough character development. Really grabs at the emotions. A very good piece of entertainment. Thank you hotprof1973, it hits the mark 🎯.

I suspect quite an emotional response from the commentariat(did I just make up a word 🤔... yeah sure did) ❗

AMerryman

Loved the twists. The reader is as sure as the husband that the wife went slut nuts, then is introduced to the truth, only to be teased with their reconciliation being in doubt - it it too late? or not? Does she still love him? How far has she gone with the new guy? If she has had sex with the therapist will that nix a reunion?

Well done. This was longer than I usually go for, but it was worth the time.

Feminist psychobabble.

You wrapped up almost everything well. I kept wondering why she would leave and say nothing to her husband. So, Brad was responsible for that. Got it.

But, I still don't get why she moved out in the first place. I get Brad's influence, but that would have taken time. Why would she completely abandon her family and her husband if she thought she'd been raped? She was gone all day, without a cell phone, then MOVES OUT the same day. I don't understand why, but it was not enough to take away anything from the story.

I thought it was the best story in LW for a long time.

KB

This was about 7 1/2 pages too long. You had such promise, now it's all downhill.

Good read about a touchy subject. It is really tough out there. Everyone be careful!

I had to skip ahead in the story, because I found it highly improbable the parents of an assault victim would condone having the victim isolate herself from her husband and children.

The examples the referenced at the end doesn't justify that part of the story.

I hope that Braden and his Bunkmate Bubba .. Have lots of Sex ,,

Not telling her own husband that she was sexually assaulted?

Disappear from the lives of her husband and children for TWO months?

Ignore her child while she's banging her door calling for her mom?

Telling him a lot of stupid babbling instead of a simple "I was drugged and sexually assaulted" the only time they met?

Sorry but she's too stupid to live.

Reconciliation At All Costs.

This was a reconciliation after the truth came out. A RAAC would have been her maliciously fucking five or six guys and then for some Deus Ex Machina reason the husband still took her back.

You'll find that many of us don't really mind a reconciliation story IF it makes sense. It's the incredibly stupid ones where the non cheating spouse is ran through a fucking meat grinder of mental torture by their significant other and just overlook it.

Full marks sir.

She would have told her husband about the club incident. He still may have reacted angrily or could have gone revenge on brayden. But pattie was not written at first like someone who would hide it. There would then not be any fingering at the rink.

But leaving the story as is why would she run off for two months and no contact with kids. But then move day cry dont take my babies. Who wants a wife back that abandons her own kids?

I also say when drugged she had sex with braydon. I dont believe her. Braydons version is easier to believe and better matches her reaction and why she took off. If there was no sex with braydon or brian, which hotproff you wrote there was no sex just flirting and kissing, it doesnt match her actions.

One of the few stories I could not finish. The stupidity of leaving husband and children that way is absolutely not believable.

Rated three stars for the half I did read.

I came in search of something hot and found a story with which I find my own experiences resonate quite strongly. Your writing is eloquent and has depth, despite residing on an erotica website. My compliments, and I await with bated breath for the moment I may read more of your work.

I looked to see how much longer it would go. I went to the end to see if he ended up with Patty. You started this like a house on fire. I was drawn into the plot and was thinking you had a great idea. I was willing to accept the cable news people would be chasing kids around at school. I was not able to wrap my head around the wife being able to tell her parents but shutting out her husband and kids. She would either be hospitalized with a breakdown, or home with her family. Her parents keeping it from him because some cop or DA wanted them to keep it on the down low was ludicrous. Patty and her parents were willing to destroy the kids' lives to prove the guy was a criminal, as if the evidence would be any different if she were with her family.

By page six, I had reached my limit. The plot started nicely, but the actions and reactions of the wife and her parents were way beyond anything I could accept. This was a great effort, but it was a few pages too long and was just not believable, plot wise. I very much applaud your effort to go beyond the standard LW story. The plot was different and had potential until we were hit with her avoiding her family followed by the old "drugged into giving up some pussy" cliché. The original plot suddenly hit the tired cliché, causing the implosion of the story.

Please keep posting.

Women catch HELL. Sexual assault is held against THEM. We are conditioned to believe the worst about them when they were attacked. They hold the weight of shame, while the men held damn near blameless as their stud status is glorified. Thanks for holding up the mirror and forcing us to look.

Making up grades with departmental exams? Do they even have those in the US? I think they have been dropped in some Canadian provinces in the last few years. Something about there not being enough leeway to "interpret" marks, as one young teacher informed me. There may be an argument for interpreting marks on an English exam, but there are only right or wrong answers on Math and Physics tests (at least until the excrement known as Common Core came along).

Your closing examples were stark reminders that there are real incidents that you would have trouble believing in a fictional story. In this story, it was hard to buy into Patty refusing to have any contact with her family for months. I know date rape happens, with or without drugs and I know therapists taking advantage of their patients happens, but her reaction was not that of a mentally healthy adult. Anyone who can be talked into cutting off their spouse and school aged children completely for months is just too easily influenced to be trusted.

A tough story to read but it captures the after effects of a sexual assault well. Victims react to trauma differently and often make decisions that most would consider irrational after the attack. The only quibbles I have with the story are that she would have needed much more extensive therapy in Arizona after all the events and the parents’s behavior was hard to understand.

Gave it 5 stars as it’s one of the best efforts I’ve read lately and a different take on the usual story here.

We are to believe she had a TOTAL mental collapse from a non-intercourse moment...which she freely admitted her behavior was encouraging? Her husband, a former hockey enforcer, APOLOGIZES even though she ruined her family's life and abandoned them? I actually had to physically force myself to continue reading.

At least finish the story. All these complaints, and it's all answered rather well if you actually read it.

Good story, prof. Thanks for posting.

Then you wouldn't get why she abandoned her family. The nefarious Dr Brad, in love with her, manipulated / brainwashed her.

KB

Wow! Definitely different from the usual. The mystery of why she wouldn't talk to him was finally revealed - it was like a sub plot - the counselor wanted her!!! Unlike some other readers, this fact became pervasive and made me continue reading. Yes, definitely different!

One point that wasn't clear and is still confusing me is about her initial hospital visit.

After the video went public, she leaves for her parents place. But before that we read that she appears ill and was not being intimate as usual. Husband leaves her alone thinking she's coming down with something. We know she came home late from her Friday night out, and the ice hockey fingering was on the Sunday. So when did she go to the hospital? Since she was at home after the Friday night and through the weekend, that's at least two whole days, it must have been after she left to go to her parents.

The first we hear about a possible date rape drugging is when they see each other before leaving for Arizona. She says she felt warm and fuzzy at the pub on Friday and agreed to go to the club...she couldn't explain why she went alone with a man other than her husband. However, we also read that just as she was being forced to fellate the guy, she was able to resist and come home by taxi. I guess the drug was given in a precisely small enough dose to just make her agreeable to be intimate but wore off too soon?

Then there is the TV broadcast where she publicly reveals what actually happened. So it looks like she went to hospital at least two days later and must have been treated for rape? May be the hospital simply did a blood test as a standard check? Whatever, my thought is that the drug, which had to be a small dose, would have been flushed out of her system in two days. Yet, we later learn that they found traces of the drug. But I am not medically qualified to know enough about these things.

Nevertheless, the story all adds up in the end - kept me hooked till the end. My point, again, is that I found it difficult to piece together how they found out she was drugged - I know her counselor and parents told her to lie low. Without this information, her story that she didn't actually have sex is difficult to believe.

Otherwise, a very nice story. Thanks.

Can't say anything bad about this. *5 all day.

non-sense

It started interesting but then went down the hill

2stars

This one had me guessing and I really liked it.

Thank you!

Good story and we'll told. Yes plot line has been used before but it's very difficult to find something really fresh, the outline and content building were excellent. Not sure what's got up HDK's ass these days he used to be highly constructive and supportive in any criticism. You are a really good writer please continue doing what you do. Thank you.

Felt real and had real emotional impact. Well paced and intelligently written. Stories like this are why I continue to read LW submissions

Some of your stories have fairly good grammar, punctuaion, etc. and some are just terrible. Leaving out some words completely changes the meaning and it might take re-reading the paragrapIths before and after the assumed missing word is figured out. For instance, one story states that there is child support and alimony but goes on in the next paragraph to make it clear that there was none. There clearly should have been a "no" between "is" and "child support.

There are enough of these type of errors, along with wrong words that make no sense, to wonder if you sometimes write when under the influence and don't take proof-reading seriously. This makes reading your work (often good stories) tiring and must drive other readers to give up or skip to the ending because continuing to try to follow your thread is frustrating.

KingBandor got it right: the influence of the so-called counselor (Brad) could not have been immediate, it must have taken at least a few days to make Patty believe that she has to avoid her husband and children. IMO, a very difficult - and implausible - step for a mother who supposedly loves her children!

So why did she leave her family without any explanation and stopped every communication even before Brad could persuade her to do so? This was not explained properly.

Despite this plothole: full marks, your best story so far!

Assuming you weren't being sarcastic, that is. ;)

The very first day her actions became known, she packed her bags and left the family home, leaving her cell phone behind. I can't see how she would have already been in Brad's thrall when she walked out. She flat out abandoned her family and cut off all contact right from the start of the conflict.

If we take it as a given that she loved her family, then it would take a catastrophic event or a preexisting condition to cause her to shut down like that. While the flirting/fingering actions and the resulting videos were serious blows to the family, her overreaction was extreme.

...then, in the end, there was. Just glad her parents weren't knowingly complicit in the ruse. They were just too trusting. With the evil-intent counseling, it tied all Patty's weird actions together. I CAN understand her parents agreeing to the highly recommended by family friend counselor, AND going along with "the expert", but only because I'm practicing suspension of disbelief for the sack of the story.

This is a combination of two tropes of LW storylines; one common (the drugging), the other uncommon (the evil counselor... remember reading it before, maybe once or twice/thrice, I think someone like a preacher/counselor). Of course you say these are drawn from reallife examples. Funny when life imitates fiction (or is that the other way around?).

Typical good read, and technique. A few missing words, as someone points out. But a work worth 5-stars

I shared the MC confusion as to who the hell Brad was, even going back to see if that was Degarde's first name, but his was Brayden, so my brain is screaming who the fuck is Brad! I was a ball of anxiety and confusion, and that is a testimony to very good writing. Damn that was well done.

the "idiot". No communication with his kids ever....I found it hard to tell if the author is the idiot or Carl is! Also too many errors of words left out or extra words that make no sense inserted in sentences! If you take the time to write a story than reread it and correct all the errors! It makes reading a story much more pleasurable.

caused me to go back to finish the story. My thoughts are slightly altered. The plot began very well. The lack of communication with the kids and husband was too much of a stretch. Why did Brad give such terrible advice the first time he met the wife? He had no connection. He saw her and immed,iately decided he would have her if it required months and years? Why would her parents ever agree to keep her from her kids? Sure, there are unethical mental health professionals, but this guy's ability to control the wife and her parents, and to a lesser extent, her husband and kids was a bit much.

Getting back to my original post. Why did I stop reading? Once you decided to end the story, you cleaned up the mess quite quickly. I guess my problem was with the middle part of the story. The set up was good. The ending, as far as the family reuniting was pretty believable. The middle of the story was the problem for me. Even if you kept the exact same plot, which was depressing, out of character, and wordy it needed to be trimmed down. As a reader, it became painful. A page or two fewer would have made a better delivery. This was an ambitious story, but a bit overdrawn. Losing readers half way through the story is not what you want. I thank King Bandor for the heads up and this writer for writing and posting the story. I will look for his next posting.

There was jeopardy, mystery and suspense, plus some villains and a little bit of crafty misdirection which all made for a very entertaining 5* read.

HDK is not only right, he's being kind. The main tension in the story comes from the wife refusing contact with her family for months. The explanations for her becoming a recluse are not in the least credible, and it ultimately requires the wife to be portrayed as too stupid to breathe. Even though I categorically reject feminism, the wife is transformed into something insulting to make the main element of novelty in the plot work. Then there's the PC psychobabble blabber from the telephone counselor (I was hoping that, instead, the H would call "Madame Andromeda" to get his wife's horoscope so he'd understand her better), the homosexual son, the somewhat tomboyish daughter...the main thing missing to round out the "diversity" banalities was a character in a wheelchair . This story doesn't begin to deserve a 4.30. This is not to say this the author can't write, but he obviously sometimes has trouble thinking through plot lines and has a compulsion to include his leftist social views in his stories. He has the right to do that, but the transparent "virtue signaling" is a poor substitute for creative writing. I think the score reflects the fact that many readers want "happy endings". There's nothing wrong with that if it's done in an intelligent was, but the story's reconciliation is rather like a tale about Frodo bringing back rainbows and unicorns from Mordor.

Frankly it kills the whole story

.... You're right we should have told you the truth. She made us promise and the prosecutor wanted as few people to know as possible so they could get a conviction. Her counselor said the best for Patricia was to keep it between us and he knows what's best for her mental health....

Well done! It brought back memories of some interactions I've had with marriage counselors. Useless lot as far as I'm concerned.

I liked it. The author is hitting there stride, and i look forward to future work.

I liked the story and agreed with his comments. Yup, I can do both. When HDK makes a comment like that, he is trying to help. He's from the "tough love" school of thought. I've had my own balls busted by HDK. Yes, story was two pages to long, but a nice read.

Like HDK said, your story started out like a house on fire...and then he got soured on the plot when the victim refused to talk to her family...it was illogical.

I got the the same point in the story and just to mad at the tale you were spinning, so I quit! That night, I couldn't sleep - the story kept going through my mind. I really enjoyed the quality of the writing and depth of the characters...so, to be able to finally fall asleep I told myself I would go peek at the end and find out where the heck this plot was leading and determine if I could accept the ending.

The next day, I did peak ahead and discovered the deal with the bad therapist who was controlling his patient for personal reasons....with that knowledge I finished the story and found it satisfactory. I still have problems with the basic plot....he made the decision to leave his wife after seeing the video....then later he suddenly began behaving as if his many years of marriage meant something and his wife should have understood he would never have left....

Anyway, like HDK, I really liked the first half, and it intrigued me enough to "call" me back to finish the story, and I'm glad I did. Thanks! Keep it up.

If you're going to criticize someone's writing please learn how to spell (paragrapIths) first.

Although lengthy it was a twisted new plot that I appreciated.

5* in my book any day. I don’t understand the negativity of some the comments.

Well done and keep up the good work.

Will not go for this. Hell, Im old but will not go for this if it happened when I was young. Written nicely. But maybe next time, talk to a younger generation and ask them what would they do if something like this happens to them.

I have to remember not to read anything by hotprof73 and marlboroman. I get to the end and always feel like it has been a colossal waste of my time. I have no idea why their stories are so overrated. I’m fine with character development, but this was so overblown that it crossed the ponderous line. I kept waiting for something to justify its rating score, and got to the end still disappointed. I gave ** because the author at least knows how to construct a sentence, but, in the end, nothing was really made of them.

Not the kind of story I normally stick with, but I'm glad I did. Just as others have said, I gave up on the story initially, as I thought the part about her cutting off contact seemed too unreal.

However, I came back to it to find out where it led and was pleasantly surprised.

So his wife is out drinking at a bar and the husband declines her invitation to join her?

The husband finds the wife has left but sees her phone and he doesn't immediately start examining her phone for clues?

This is a family with young children and they all don't have a location sharing app to keep in touch with each other or at least know where they are?

So the wife is so focused on her guilt and remorse and personal grief that she forgets about her husband and children and what they must be suffering in her absence?

The wife ghosts her husband and children, for TWO MONTHS, and she's unhappy that the husband isn't waiting like some obedient faithful dog for her to meander and circuitously explain What The Hell has been going on? The first words out her mouth when they finally met should have been: I was drugged and sexually molested. Let me explain why I have been out of touch.

The only reason the therapist takes control plot device is plausible is because by that point you have made the wife and her parents too stupid to manage their own lives. The therapist knows best? Yeah, lets shift all our control and personal responsibility over to the "expert" we hired so whatever gets fucked up at least its not our fault.

And it all started because the wife stopped communicating and the husband didn't confront and force the issue. He and the children should have set up a tent in her parents front yard and forced them to call the police to have her husband and children physically and forcibly removed from the property. Then at least the husband would know that the crazy bitch and her parents really were definitively rejecting them from her life. Of course she would be getting divorce papers within the week, because now its the husband and children who are being physically and mentally abused by her silence and rejection. Its not rocket science.

It was a good plot idea, but the execution was unbelievable, unless you are totally swayed by emotions and ignore rational thought and behavior. And you think surrendering yourself over to the care of "professionals" is rational behavior. It snot.

One question. Why did she and her parents allow her to be fired from her job when she was a victim of drugging and assault? I know they can't tell the husband and children what the fuck is going on, but why would they not act to protect her career and her reputation?

Just too stupid and contrived to be believed.

But thanks for the effort.

I’d to thank everyone for their comments - especially from skill writers like KB, Fritz, HDK, etc who I have a lot of respect for.

To answer KB’s initial question, this final version is trimmed down a fair bit from the draft before the one I sent to be edited. It was clearer that Patty’s parents grabbed her from the hospital and her father and Brad grabbed her things and phone from her house while she was in the middle of her breakdown. I thought the story worked better with Brad not revealed until much later.

I wasn’t going to mention it, but it seems to be a plausibility concern, Patty’s parents are completely based on my own in-laws. When my wife and I went through a personal tragedy as traumatic as sexual assault, they’re solution for helping my wife because they had no faith in and don’t believe in counseling was to have her so stay with them indefinitely three hrs away. My wife nearly did, but in the end chose to be with me and I don’t think we’d be together if she went. My sister-in-law spent a year there away from her husband when they had troubles. To this day, I’m not friendly with them but tolerate them for my wife and avoid them as much as possible. While the victim was lured away from her home from the therapist, I thought it would be more plausible to have Patty hiding at her parents and then getting manipulated there. Plus it was cathartic to make my in-laws almost villain side-kicks in this story.

Yeah, it was long and some people have short attention spans. I came really close making it two parts, but even if I said it was already done, there would be the same complaints I got with Time to Man up. Maybe that was a mistake? There seems to be a lot of people who preferred it in one piece. Thanks for reading this and the story. To the person criticizing typos in my older stories - why do think I’m so thankful for my editor? It took me a long time to find one and has made a big difference.

Your explanation of her abandoning her family and how it was lost in editing, partially alleviates my concerns about the credibility of her actions. I still don't think she behaved remotely like an average adult would, but who knows what demons lurk inside any of us? Maybe she was teetering on the edge of a breakdown all along and the assault was the tipping point that broke her hold on reality.

My in-laws problems were of a different sort, they were abusive (literally) and cold. My wife was like a puppy starving for attention from them and never gave up hope they would come around. I don't know which is worse, the controlling or the indifferent in-laws. I suppose it depends on their children's personalities and how the different types of dysfunctional behavior affected them.

They may be the same thing at times, but do not have to be. I can read long stories and have even read a book or two. You may feel stopping after 4 pages is a short attention span. Others may think it's the writer losing his way. He may have lost the tension the plot had developed. The story may have begun to languish. It could be short attention span, or it could be an excess of words and lack of focus on that section of the story by the writer, thus creating a lack of interest by the reader. Blaming the reader for losing interest is far too easy. Consider the possibilities rather than dismissing the reader. Sometimes the most helpful comments are the least complimentary. Just sayin'.

Good story, well written with an emotionally satisfying ending. Well done.

I have read most of the stories from Hotprof1973, some were ok, some were not.

This one got a strong 5 stars. It was good enough to bypass any punctuation, grammer, old sage dogma, trite plot points, because this story made me stop and THINK. No character was a superhero, no exceedingly dumb blond bimbos, unfathomable cuck situations, or illiterate monosyllabic sex scenes. I like this story A LOT! However I choose as always to remain semi anonymous so my opinion shall be mostly discounted I expect.

anonjerry

Thank you, a different plot and had interesting relationships with son and daughter at quite important times in the children's lives as well as her own mid-life crisis. Well done.

One of my closest friends used to be a prosecutor, and for years his focus was sex crimes. He always said everything else being equal, prosecutors prefer male jurors, and defence attorneys female jurors. The reason being women don't want to think this could happen to them too, so they want to believe the victim did something wrong.

The story, her reaction of blaming herself for her assault reminded me of that. I can imagine many women blame themselves. Did I lead him on? Did he have reason to misconstrue my actions?

For a while reading the story I was thinking she had to be really dumb to react the way she did. But from the stories my friend has told me about the victims and how they react, I don't think it's outlandish or unrealistic at all. Unfortunately!!!

There were aspects of this story that were farfetched. First, Patty disappearing on the family, and running to her parents, and completely avoiding her husband and kids. However, that part I tried to explain in my prior comment that a lot of women blame themselves to one degree or another for their sexual assault. Especially, if they knew the man beforehand, and had flirted with him. So, I can see the possibility of her immediate reaction of feeling deep shame that she had let down her family and trying to get away from them.

The second part is Brad, the counselor being that creepy. I have my own theories on people that go into psychiatry. I've dated some psych majors in college, and they had some major issues themselves. I think many people go into psychology to primarily heal themselves. A good friend's wife is a psychologist and she said when she applied to the masters program, in her essay she made up about how she came from a totally dysfunctional family (I have met her family and the opposite is true and she's extremely close with them), and how she had had major trauma as a child (again totally made up), because she said she knew that's what the admission people in that department would be looking for that. I have other stories about psychologists as well that make me think this thing with Brad is not so far fetched. Maybe he just broke up with a girlfriend, was attracted to Patty, and felt he could control her, so immediately reacts to her the way he did.

Her parents trying to watch out for their daughter who had been through major trauma, and the media is after her, her therapist (who came highly recommended) is saying she needs to be shielded, so they went along trying to shield her to protect her.

So, while reading the story I was feeling everything was far fetched, but it actually can very much happen as I explained above. The part that I still cannot believe, however, is the media following the family for 7 weeks to get a reaction from them. Must have been a very slow news cycle.

Hotprof, for a second I thought you were doing a Kingbandor. Writing a ridiculous story to make fun of some of the LW genre. NeverCarler parents plotting against the son-in-law they didn't like, after all those years. The evil therapist. Glad the in-laws were redeemed, and it wasn't another parody.

Last point. While I have been very complimentary in some of your other stories, I didn't love this one. It wasn't the topic itself, which had its merits. I just didn't really get involved with any of the characters. I really didn't care that much if they made it or not, together, separately, or whatever.

Great story. Good plot, well written.

This story is exactly what I expect from Hotprof. It’s build around a typical cliché that’s probably a bit over done (in this case the husband thinks wife cheated but she was really drugged) and completely plays with it, going way out of the box and twisting it into something completely different with amazing writing – especially the dialogue. In fact, I think that’s all Hotprof is doing – playing with us by writing something so familiar and going so off the rails we wonder what happened. Her Brother was the husband watching wife in the back of the vehicle story – with the African mercenary thrown in for good measure. Bitch face is the massage seduction – which still makes me wet whenever I see a unicorn. Payback was a BTB plot against a husband’s mistress – except its through the eyes of the mistress’s unsuspecting husband! Because he builds his stories on the familiar and there’s so deliciously well-written, you can’t help but have an emotional response to them. I think the comments in his stories prove you’ll probably either really love or really hate them. However, you’ll hate them because of the good writing, because if the twist (and Hotprof loves his twists) went your way it could be an amazing story. Instead, it’s like he deliberately ripped your heart out. And maybe he did. I loved this story because of the family connection and the twist(s) were so well orchestrated. However, I’ve hated others and still gave it 5 stars because I still connected to the story and couldn’t deny how well crafted it was. How he takes criticism and praise with the same calm demeanor and never goes out of his way to bash or slam other writers also means a lot to me as a fellow writer here. And yes I admit I’m too chicken shit to post this and give my username. Only thing I’d like to call bullshit on is consulting with a clinical psychologist. For my day job, I AM a clinical psychologist at a women’s center. How you write about trauma – especially women’s – in at least a quarter of your stories is too bang on. Things that Joe Public would think is far fetched that those of us working with them know is often the reality. You have to have a pysch background and work with women with PSD. I’d like to know. I doubt it will make it easier for trolls to find your identity if that’s what you’re worried about. I want to know if I’m right about that – and if you are deliberately playing with the clichés. Also, after reading your stories before finding an editor, I’m also curious if you’re dyslexic – the nature of your typos and the fact you obviously are a very skilled writer makes me think that’s what’s going on. Honestly, they can be a bit distracting sometimes but not bad enough we don’t know what’s going on. Thanks.

I’m flattered you love and hate my work. I definitely don’t go out of my way to make readers hate my stories, but just accept literature is subjective and you can never make everyone happy no matter what. To answer your questions. I write what I think would be interesting and usually those start with “what if?” I admit some of my stories are trying to put twists on tropes or cliches, but not all. This one was just combining two actual sexual assaults cases so they happened to the same victim. I don’t have a psychology background, but an ed psych which is different. I have done a lot of grad work on trauma and abject theory, but I really do consult with a friend for these and other writing. And yes I am partially dyslexic- affects writing more than reading. I’m shocked and impressed that you guessed that.

Well written and woven into a story. No wonder the metoo movement has blossomed. Good job on taking this story through so many details that sometimes dilute the story but not in this case. If actually a prof, must be in psychology or secular theology.

Keep writing!

T.T.

I enjoyed the story , however , yet again it proves to me that America and it’s obsession with counselling is absolutely bananas .

My biggest concern (?) is that an husband of 18 years is not allowed contact with his wife , while parents have full knowledge of what is happening . To me that is totally unbelievable and spoiled what would have have been a top notch story . At the very least he would have been interviewed by the police .

I know without that part of the story , the rest would not have worked , a different way of creating the isolation was needed .

That said I enjoyed it . Thank you .

Gaffer

Lots of fuck ups in this story but ok to read I guess. 1 star for lack of originality 3 stars for conception. Ok but I wouldn't try another story like this

Yes I really did enjoy it there was a few problems but hey . The only thing I did hate was the length 8 pages. But I was happy that you didn’t turn it into a chapter thing. That would have ruined it for me big time. The reason I hate chapters is that the stories never seem to match no matter who has written it. It’s because you wrote this as a complete story it just matches up beautifully. I think it’s because the writer goes so far then stops then says chapter 1. Then they start to overthink the story then it becomes a mishmash. So this I say well done really enjoyed and write more but try not to do the chapter thing to much because you will ruin your stories. By the way not sure this is true or not average attention span when reading is about 5 to 6 pages before they start to get either board of the story or get fed up or leave I don’t know. But that what I have read in magazines as I said whether it’s true or not I don’t know but hey . I just read the stuff lol but otherwise fantastic story keep up the great work.

This was well tied together even though the therapist part was telegraphed a bit. Would have been cool if it tied in her parents as manipulating the whole thing but hey maybe another time.

Good stuff Maynard

The therapist recommended not telling your spouse. The first thing the therapist would recommend is telling the spouse. Beyond stupidity.

The author forcibly tries to spin the entire story just to make her the poor victim.

The whole point of this story was she was a victim. The author even hints right in his intro that was the case - based on two true stories. Some of you haters are making yourself look bad. Don’t like all this author’s stories but loved this one. The therapist was a great off stage villain.

... so why people keep saying it’s “unbelievable” is beyond me.

In one a college student is drugged, then video posted online, and her life fucked up. Another is a counselor/therapist that “falls in love” with the patient, then isolates her from family and friends to make her dependent upon him. Then, in a response within comments, he says he, himself, experienced meddling inlaws that isolated his wife/their daughter from him and his family when they had trouble of some kind in their relationship (and they did it AGAIN with the sister inlaw, so not an isolated incident for them).

Combine the three and you get 90% of this story. The one thing, after all that was explained was the immediacy of the isolation (the one thing I found troubling), but he explains that away as Brad/the Therapist being in on the incident almost from the very beginning. Something I’d consider as artistic license.

And yet people STILL are saying “that’s unbelievable”. Ummm... No. That’s Story Telling.

Closest thing I can think of, that most will be familiar with, is the Vietnam movie “Platoon”. My dad (a 3 tour veteran) and I discussed this — just about everything in the movie happened at one time or another during the war, just not all within one platoon in one year. That was Oliver Stone taking all the disparate, but true events which occurred to a couple of million soldiers over 6-7 years, and combining them in one 3 hour movie, to one small unit, over one year — Story Telling. Otherwise it might be a pretty boring movie.

Did people not read the addendum at the end of the story? I can understand people not reading all the comments, thus missing HP1973’s response about the inlaw meddling. But about the immoral counseling, and the drugged video posting...? He says they’re true, right there in black & white.

I didn’t find it OVERLY long, just maybe a little. I certainly didn’t skip ahead two-three pages. I admit, I did skim a few paragraphs about setting up living in Arizona, but that was 4-5 paragraphs. So about 1/3-1/2 page?

Of course that’s just me. Obviously YMMV.

Really? Except for mild flirting, just about everything that happened to her is done by an outside source, from father of daughter’s friend, to her idiotic parents, to her immoral therapist.

That’s the whole point of this story — bad shit, with a little personal carelessness, can happen to anyone.

Let’s say... if she had been careless while texting while driving, then got T-boned by a drunk driver that she MIGHT have been able to avoid if paying strict attention. Is all the shit that falls down on her ALL her fault? Or is there fault to spread around? If she got a shitty surgeon, and/or a shitty physical therapist, that ruin her legs or face or back? Is her disability ALL her fault because she only paid 1/2 attention for 3 seconds while driving? How much is the drunk driver at fault? Or do you blame the shitty doctor for doing a shitty job? Or the shitty PT for being incompetent?

Critics seem to paint her with the same paintbrush that they do for sluts who carry on multiyear affairs with multiple men, and doing gangbangs. Or tying hubby up and forcing him to watch as she sucks his best friends, then rubbing her cum dripping cunt in his face. Or finding out 2 of their 3 kids are her boss’ to whom she’s been the company whore for the last 12 years.

She had a minor “flirting” transgression which ended up with her getting drugged, for which she was blackmailed, which resulted in her getting very publicly “fingered”. Then she got royally fucked over by her parents, and their family therapist — people she thought she could trust. Very different situations.

The beauty of this story (at least for me) is you totally empathize with hubby — “Yeah, take that, you bitch!” Then you (at least I) find out “the rest of the story”, and at least find what happened from her perspective understandable, if not sympathize-able — “Ahhhh....”

I am a man and I think if men drug and rape women they should have their damn balls cut off.

Loved it!!!!!

Maybe not fully relevant but....I’ve read a few stories on this site and never know what the heck RAAC or BTB stands for. I’ve searches but not very well perhaps. Kinda driving me nuts. Any help?

I actually liked the story, i felt every detail was important so reading 8 pages was not a hasstle maybe a remarriage was something i was looking for in the end

Nige plot but too long, too wordy and too preachy.

Does anyone actually care about how people get together? So often stories include at least a page of how a couple came to be married. Sometimes I read the sections but more often than not, I skip them because for the most part its absolutely pointless.

I understand that backstories provide context or at least they are supposed to offer the reader insight to understand motivation and expand character development. Seriously, how often is this successfully achieved? I content it is far less than the instances where inclusion exists for no other reason than page filler and word count.

So back to my question: how many of you skip over backstory? Maybe I will make this a forum post.

Yes, backstory and all story is important. You establish personalities, relationships, events, mindsets, background and even foreshadowing of future events. Telling the story of someones relationship often needs a beginning, as it so often leads to an end, especially in this section. You're basically telling the story of how two individuals became a couple that the story is usually about, knowing what those two people were like before they welded themselves together through life is important. It's not necessarily well done very often but the information is important for the reader to establish the characters in their mind.

Just started read your stories and this is by far the best so far. Liked the background at the end as well. Thanks.

The premise is just fucking absurd. She could have told her husband the truth right away instead of disappearing for months. Her parents had to be fucking crazy. And he should have divorced her just for the shitty way she treated the kids. The truth is she was a fucking dumb slut and not much of a wife.

Outstanding! Perfect! Masterpiece!

Thanks

To @ by , I think you're right. But in this case the backstory was fairly engaging. I suppose in general the rule should that it is relevant and consequential to the story.

Great story by hotprof1973 - 5*s

Another story getting way too longwinded with pointless melodrama, and a guy too gutless to move on, him not banging the woman he flirted with, is the most unrealistic thing in this whole story, makes the me think the author is probably a woman.

This story will be much improved if it was edited down to 4-5 pages, cutting out all the pointless stuff.

Why do the feminist cuck/simp always use/say “She's still your mother” if it was me, didn’t care what word the kids called that whore (if i was going to divorce her)

The wife was drugged and raped... so stupid plot twist that I quit the story.

Noticed you trying to troll the prof in a bunch of his stories.. Bashing stories that obviously majority of people like makes you look like a stupid incel. As well, many trolls have tried to get under the profs skin. He’s too smart for that - he knows he can write.

And yet we read, "whatever quack you sent her too". Numerous times you write "too" instead of "to". Sadly, there's too many other typos and missing words in the story to ignore. You write too well to accept editing this slipshod.

That said, the story itself was excellent. I thought I had found many holes, but you managed to close them up towards the end, which was unexpected, and skilled.

Thanks!

because of the hard work the author put into the plot. It suffers from bouts of psychobabble and feminist cant, but not enough to detract from the creativity.

Nevertheless, "In women who are still virile..." (referring to the drug)? WTF.

Only men are virile. Women are fertile.

Basically well written but lacking the final polish of good editing. Improper pronoun usage (I/me, he/him, she/her), wrong homonym (taunt/taut), etc., are not typical of this author. Such errors detract from HotProf's usual smooth flow. Maybe some trimming would help, as mentioned by other commenters.

Almost zero fantasy in this realistic tale and lots of "good" characters help make this one a winner.

Keep 'em comin'.

Seemed like it took a long time to resolve the rape. Not sure about taking the advice to sell everything and move. Easy to say. but do run away and leave someone you love that quick.

That's a brutal story. The aspect of this that I feel like is bullcrap is that the wife doesn't even try to tell her husband about what really happened until MONTHS later. I get all the back story with the therapist, cops, etc, but that was complete bullshit. Cutting her kids out of her life....no way her parents buy into that. It's painful, but Carl didn't fuck up like everyone seems to think he did.

RAAC or CUCK story??!! She used the same old excuse, feeling OLD and getting some Gray hair!!! Not an excuse to lie and flirt and put yourself in a position to be Raped or drugged!!!

Though I hate cheating stories, I keep on reading because this helps me understand the psychology of cheating. At first, I really judge the story badly, but as I continue, I realized I made the same mistake like Carl. We need to be open minded and exercise critical thinking when dealing with this situation.

Beautiful story - there's a lesson for all of us to learn here. As the father of four daughters, sexual assault scares the hell out of me.

i realize it too late but where was patty's mother in all this. u did say parents when u wrote where patty ran off to